A/N: Okay, I'm asking everyone to suspend disbelief for a little bit here. (If you've seen the movie, it shouldn't be hard to do! :-)) I know that someone who's spent their life being afraid, like Nina, is not going to be cured all at once. But frankly, I hated Tomas and I wanted her and Lily to get the better of him. Don't like that? Don't read it. Reviews always welcome, but no flames. Femmeslash.
Shades of Gray
Nina tensed as soon as she saw Lily standing with Tomas in the middle of the practice room. What was she doing there? What had she been saying to him? His smile was reassuring, but Nina was not fooled any more than Beth had been.
"Today, you and Lily dance together" Tomas announced. "The two queens for once side by side. I have a new vision. Always, the Swan queen is one. One person, one dancer, but why? Before Odette can free herself from Von Rothbart's spell, she must face Odile. She cannot overcome the magic without Odile. So why not tell that part of the story?"
Nina glared at Lily. This had to be her idea. She'd been playing up to Tomas ever since she arrived. Nina ignored the small voice in her mind that reminded her that they all played up to Tomas. He was Von Rothbart, after all, the creator of these dreams that audiences paid to see.
"C'mon, Nina. It'll be wonderful!" Lily said persuasively. "I always thought it should be like this. Odile is Odette's strength and determination, but Odette doesn't realize it. Why shouldn't she realize it?"
"And what is Odette to Odile?" Nina asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Tomas opened his mouth to answer but Lily beat him to it. "Beauty. Love. Faith. All the things she doesn't have on her own. Don't you see? You must! The whole fairy tale is about Odette becoming whole. Really, you almost don't even need the prince! It's not about him."
The choreographer chuckled indulgently. "But in a fairy tale, you must have a handsome prince, or it isn't a fairy tale! Now get to the barre my swans, and warm up."
Lily rolled her eyes and quirked her lips at Nina, who busied herself with putting on her toe shoes. Tomas took them through the familiar routine of stretches, bends, and balances then called them to the center floor and outlined what he had in mind. As far as Nina could tell, it was sort of a dance battle between Odette and Odile. A battle that ended with the two swans locked in an embrace that could signify death or love, however one looked at it. A veil of smoke would hide them as the curtain came down, and then Odette would re-emerge, Still all in white, but with black feathers scattered throughout her wings and costume and her dance more powerful, less ethereal.
"God, could he be any more of a pervert?" Lily muttered to Nina out of the side of her mouth as Tomas went to talk to the pianist. "I wonder if this part's even going to make the final cut! You notice he didn't invite any of the corps to this practice."
"I thought you liked the idea."
"I do. But I don't like him. He may be a brilliant choreographer, but he's still a dirty old man who likes his 'little princesses'. You ought to tell him to quit calling you that."
"Let us begin" Tomas walked back to the center floor and positioned Nina downstage left and Lily upstage right, so they would approach each other on a diagonal. He then outlined the steps by dancing each part in turn and Nina marveled anew at his genius. What did it matter what else Tomas was, when he could dance like that?
"And…" the choreographer stepped back and gestured to Mr. Roberts. Nina listened to the musical introduction. It was dark, sinister, but beautiful and definitely erotic as well. When her cue came, she rose on pointe and boureed towards Lily, the fluttering of her arms growing more frantic as the other girl approached. Lily's arm movements were by contrast slow and languorous and a small smile played on her lips. At the last minute, Nina spun away, only to find Lily right behind her. She whirled back, a complicated reversal that could have resulted in a disastrous collision, but again, Lily whirled with her, mirroring her motions, her gaze mocking. Nina moved right and left, but she could not move out of the Black Swan's shadow. Her next movement was almost violent as she launched into arabesque and reached towards Lily, beckoning. All right, bitch. If this is the way it has to be, come and get me.
Lily chuckled, the sound coming from deep in her throat. She circled Nina, taunting, until the delicate White Swan caught her hand and pulled her closer, swinging her around in a wide arc that spiraled inward as they turned. Nina's eyes glared into her own and her jaw was set, her lips pressed into a thin, tense line. Lily smirked. "That's right" she whispered into the other girl's ear. "Get mad, baby."
"Shut up!" Nina hissed through clenched teeth, but Lily continued to smile, her eyes gleaming crimson for a moment before returning to normal. "No candy-ass prince is gonna save you. Stop lying to yourself. Grow up! Grow some balls! Grow some wings!"
Black feathers and smothering wings surrounded Nina. All she could hear was the thrumming of a powerful heart. The wings curled around her, cradling her as they stifled her breathing and blocked her sight. She yanked Lily against her, gasping in agony as a brilliant bolt of pain exploded through her back and shoulders. Her own wings stretched and stretched, arching over her head in a shower of blood, covering her and Lily and maybe even Tomas and Mr. Roberts as well. They seemed to fill the room, and suddenly the Black Swan's wings seemed tiny and useless against them.
"I don't need to be saved!" growled Nina as she crushed her mouth down on Lily's. The other girl trembled and her arms slid around Nina's neck and the white wings enfolded them both…
"Wow", Lily whispered.
It took a moment before Nina realized the music had stopped and the room was completely silent. Tomas stood by the piano, his eyes wide, for once at a loss for words. Mr. Roberts was adjusting the music, his face a mask of bland indifference. And Lily was still in her arms, gazing up into her face with a look that was equal parts amazement, respect, and desire. Nina hugged her closer and spoke to Tomas in a deadly quiet voice.
"Get out."
Tomas stared at her. "Out? But why? That was perfect, my princess! Absolutely genius—"
"GET OUT! NOW!"
Tomas shook his head in disbelief, but apparently, he thought humoring her was the wisest course of action, because he nodded to Mr. Roberts. "Come."
When the door of the practice room closed behind them, Lily let go of Nina but Nina's grip around her waist only tightened. "Are you okay?"
"No…yes…I don't know."
The rush and magic of the dance was wearing off and Nina felt tired and wobbly and hollow inside. A tear slid from her left eye. Lily gently kissed it away. "That was amazing" she whispered. "Truly awesome."
Nina's mouth curled into a tiny grin. "I know. I can't think which part was more amazing, the dance or that I just told Tomas to get out and he did!"
"Should have told him ages ago, baby" Lily rubbed her back gently, her palm deliciously warm against Nina's bare skin. "How old were you when he started up with you?"
Nina didn't ask what Lily meant. "I was sixteen."
Lily snorted and shook her head. "Asshole. Fucking asshole. He ought to be arrested!"
"If he was in jail, I wouldn't be the Swan Queen." Nina was surprised to hear the calmness in her own voice. "I knew what he was doing; we all did. We all went along with it because we all wanted to be exactly where I am now. He never had to force anyone."
"So what? It's still wrong."
"Yeah. It is. But you know what? I'm not sorry. You know why?"
"Why?"
"I'm not sorry because whenever there's a new Swan Queen, Tomas always has another girl waiting in the wings for him. This time it's Veronica and from her, he'll get all the punishment he deserves."
Lily laughed. She had to admit that Nina was right. Veronica was a scary little bitch, and she'd been waiting to get Tomas into her clutches for years, if what the company scuttlebutt said was true. "Way to take the long view!"
"No reason I shouldn't. That's the other thing. I'll have my time in this ballet. Tomas will keep this dance. It's something he thought up he'll want to keep it. But you and I will set the bar and it will never be the same again." Nina sighed released the other girl as she sat down on the floor. She felt exhausted and still a little emotional, but she was stronger than she had ever been in her life. She was sure of that if nothing else.
Lily collapsed beside her and put her arm around Nina's shoulders. "I'm so proud of you."
"My Black Swan" Nina smiled and rested her head against Lily's.
"Gray."
"Hm?"
"Gray. That's what we are together. Lily pressed a kiss against Nina's temple. "Shades of gray."