Girl With The Broken Smile

I woke up and Fred was gone. There was a note left on his pillow for me.

'Make up with Wood.

Fred'

Not the longest note ever, but I got the point. I was aiming to do that today anyways. I didn't feel like getting up. I wanted to be alone and just lay there and feel sorry for myself. To be depressed.

Then I made a list of rules for myself about what I was going to do about my now crumpled life.

Sort things out with Oliver Wood.

Spend less time with brother figure Fred and more with boyfriend Oliver.

Try not to think about Dad.

Try not to cry about Dad.

Never let Flint push me around again.

Be happy.

Cut down on the magical donuts.

Practice Quidditch to Oliver Wood's Standards.

Call Oliver Wood 'Princess' more.

Focusing more in Potions

Prevent George and Alicia snogging in my room.

Stop doodling instead of taking notes.

Stop staring.

Get more people socks just because socks rock!

Stop obsessing.

Get Alicia to stop calling people hookers (although it is hilarious).

Focus/obsess (but I cant because rule # 15 is to stop obsessing) on loving Oliver Wood.

That was my new list of rules.

I got up despite myself and went to my room. I opened my door and saw Alicia and George asleep in her bed. So much for rule #11! I got some clothes and went back to the door. Neither of them had moved.

My hand slid over the doorknob.

"Wood was here last night looking for you. Did you sleep with Fred or something?"

I spun around. I expected that comment to come from Alicia, but George had spoken. Alicia lay asleep across his chest. He looked so much like Fred that the scene was almost unnerving.

"No," I said. George nodded.

"Good thing. A little piece of advice, Kate, pick one guy and stick with him. Don't be going back and forth between them."

"I'm not going between them."

"It sure looks like it to me."

"Fred's my best friend and Oliver's my boyfriend and you don't know what happened to me."

"Okay."

Silence. "My brother cares about you a lot. He wants you to be happy. Do whatever it takes to be happy and the rest of it all will fall into place."

I looked at him and smiled warmly. "Thanks George. That helps."

"You're lucky to have people care about you like that. It may seem like a burden sometimes, but you always have someone to fall back on. You don't know how lucky you are. Fred and Wood are great guys. But don't fool with their hearts."

"I'm not doing that. I'm not trying to."

"Unintentionally, you are doing that. I know you don't need to, but it happens. Do the right thing Katie."

I nodded.

He grinned. I left and went to take a well-needed shower. I was happy I didn't have to explain the prospect of my father to George. He didn't need to know. My father…damn. Already tears were falling down my face.

------------

I remembered about Oliver's practice just before it was about to start. I put my robes on and grabbed my broom, running onto the Pitch. As soon as I did, I saw my team already practicing in the air.

I got onto my broom and began to rise into the air.

"Bell, you're late," Oliver said, his back to me.

"Sorry."

"Stay right there, I need to have a word with you."

I nodded. When he talked, his voice sounded bitter. If my father hadn't died, this all wouldn't be happening. A tear slipped down my cheek. If he hadn't died, I would be happy at that moment.

My feet hit the ground and Oliver landed beside me. I quickly rubbed my tears away, looking away from him. He looked at me and his anger dissolved. I knew that it was killing him to see me cry.

I bit my lip as I watched him fight the urge to hold me. I knew he wouldn't because our teammates were watching. Also because he was angry with me and I knew it.

"Now, Bell, you know that I don't tolerate tardiness. I also don't approve of competitions between households, which happened yesterday between you and that Marcus Flint of Slytherin. As much as I don't want to do this-"

"You've practiced this, haven't you?"

He blinked. I knew he had, he sounded too much like McGonagall. He was going to kick me off the team.

"Wood, did you ask Dumbledore?"

He sighed. "I did."

"Then you know."

He was silent for a moment or two. I looked up and Alicia gave me a sympathetic look. She knew what was going on. Oliver was kicking me off the team as well as kicking me out of his heart.

"If you're going to kick me off the team, do it. If you're going to break up with me, then you might as well do that, too. But if you're not going to do either because you pity me, don't."

He looked at me. "I don't pity you. I care about you."

I was almost shocked at that. "Then why do you sound like you hate me?"

"I don't hate you."

"Then what's your problem??"

He looked down at his shoes. I sighed.

"Oliver, my father died. I went to Fred because he's such a brother figure to me and because he knew how close I was to my dad. I've known Fred for almost my entire life and he's always been there for me. I admit that I should be spending more time with you and relying on you more, but I feel that you have such issues already, with this Quidditch match and all, that you don't need any more. Stressing you out is the last thing I want."

I watched Oliver absorb this. He took a deep breath. "I did talk to Dumbledore and I do know about your da and I've known Fred for almost my entire life, too, and you should spend more time with me and you should trust me more and although I do have issues, I do still care about you and you stress me out enough! All this time that I've been frustrated and stressed, it was because of you!!"

I took a step back. He was angry. He sighed.

"And it's all worth it. Because I still really love you."

He smiled and the mood lightened. "That never stopped."

"Then why were you about to kick me off the team?"

He looked down again. "I wasn't…"

"Yes, you were! Is that because of what happened last night? With Fred? Because I preferred to stay with my brother figure than you? Is that it Oliver Wood?"

I was shouting now and everyone was watching. I didn't care. I knew that I could just drop it and everything would go back to normal, leaving everything unsolved, but I just couldn't do that. I couldn't just ignore it all when I could solve it now.

Oliver stepped closer to me, his voice hushed. "Katie, let's talk about this later."

"No, we're going to talk about it now!"

He looked over at the rest of the team. "Take a break," he shouted, "We'll start again in an hour."

The team, joyfully, landed on the ground and ran to the castle with their remaining strength. Harry sped past me, giving me an encouraging smile. Having someone like Harry on the team was, indeed, a good thing at times like these.

Fred walked by Oliver and I couldn't look at him. I hear Fred mumble to Oliver, "Don't screw up, Wood."

When everyone was gone, I looked up again. Oliver was sitting on the stone bench with his head in his hands. I walked over to him and sat down. I put my hand on his back and rubbed his skin.

"Why does this have to be so complicated?"

He looked up at me. "I don't know, you made it that way?"

"I made it that way?? I made my father die?"

Now I was crying. Oliver was doing everything he could not to look at me. I grabbed his chin and made him look at me.

"Look at me, Oliver! Look at how I am, how you're making me. My father just died and you're making this so complicated!"

He frowned, angry. He grabbed my wrist and shoved it away. "You're the one who slept with Fred!"

"I did not!!"

It was silent for a second. "Wood, what's wrong? What do you want me to do? What do you want me to say??"

He sighed. "I don't know."

"I don't know either! Are you angry because you think I slept with Fred instead of with you? I didn't sleep with Fred and I never will sleep with Fred! If I had been with you, I wouldn't have slept with you either. I want this to work out. I have so many things to deal with, I don't want this to be complicated."

"Are you saying we should break up?"

"No, I really want to work this out, Oliver, but you have to want that, too! Now tell me why you're angry with me!"

"I'm not angry with you."

Liar. "You accused me of sleeping with Fred…"

"Okay fine! I suppose I'm just worried because you seem to like Fred more than you like me and you spend more time with him and I hate it that when you're sad you go to him and not me. It's almost a sign to me now. I don't know what to do, Katie. You're so goddamn indecisive!"

I took a step back. I'd never seen him this angry. I didn't want to know how he would have reacted if I HAD slept with Fred. "The reason I'm with Fred so much is because 1) he's my best friend, 2) he's part of my family and my family was split up and he is the only reliable one I have now. My father is dead and I feel like he's the only family member I have that cares about me. I can't afford to lose him-"

"So you can afford to lose me?"

That stopped me. I really didn't know how to answer that. "I love you, Oliver. Losing you would break something more inside me."

"I don't know what to do here."

"I don't know, either. I should spend less time with Fred and more with you; you're my boyfriend and I should be with you more."

He nodded. His voice softened. "But you shouldn't cut Fred entirely out of the picture."

I shook my head. "Never."

"Okay then," he said, starting to smile. I looked down. Okay, this was solved, I thought. Suddenly, Oliver pulled me into his arms and I rested my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head. I couldn't think about him and how we just solved out fight. The only thing running through my head was my father.

I was crying and Oliver held me tighter. He really had no idea how to react to this situation. He didn't know how to react to girls crying. Me crying. Ouch.

"Where are you?" he whispered into my ear. I didn't know. I felt like I was gone from this place and was somewhere else. But no matter where I was, my father wasn't there.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"For what?" I asked in a flat voice. I felt emotionless, tired. All my emotions spent. I had cried for hours over my father and now had just fought with Oliver.

"For everything. The way I acted…your father."

I pulled back from him. "Don't talk about my dad, please."

He nodded. "If you wanted to take a break from Quidditch because of this…well, I'd understand…"

I stared at him. That was mighty generous considering that he was OBSESSED. He wouldn't understand that, either.

"No, I may be an emotional wreck, but I can't let you down."

"You wouldn't be letting me down. Even if nothing happened with your da, I'd still give you a break because of what happened with Flint."

I pulled back. "You would never give me a break. You're obsessed about Quidditch, face it, Wood."

He nodded. "True, but I can tell when someone needs a break. Even my own girlfriend."

"So we're still dating?"

"Did we ever stop?"

I smiled and so did he.

I took a few steps back, heading towards the castle. "I'm glad we worked things out, Oliver."

He nodded. "Where are you going?"

I sighed and looked to my left for no reason at all. "I have to go sort a few more things out. With Fred."

Oliver nodded. He understood. "Will you be back for practice?"

I took a deep breath. "I should be."

He nodded. "Good."

"What're you going to do for the next…. forty minutes?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

I walked back to him. "I can talk to Fred later, do you want me to stay with you?"

He shook his head. "No, go finish things. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"No, I'll stay."

He didn't protest then. He sat down next to me, on my left side, on the bench, sliding his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him. I didn't fight it and it let right arm go to his left shoulder, falling against his chest. He held me to him and he didn't say any more.

"Do you think we're ready for the match?"

I felt him shrug. "I don't know. We've been practicing with only one Chaser. Now that we have you, it should be a lot better."

I nodded. "I hope Flint doesn't do anything crazy again."

He nodded, too. "I don't know why he took the blame, even if he DID start it."

"I don't know, either. Maybe he DOES have a bit of dignity in him."

Oliver shook his head. "Guys like Flint aren't like that."

"You never know. I never thought you'd be this sweet."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I first met you, sure, you were attractive and all, but I thought you'd be a little, well, stuck up."

He nodded. "I do tend to send out that message."

I nodded.

"Did you ever think that we'd be together?"

I shook my head. "I always knew that you were to far out of my league."

"Same here."

I didn't believe him. We were silent for a few moments. "Oliver, what are you going to do when you get out of Hogwarts?"

He sighed and shrugged. "Professional Quidditch player, maybe. What do you think? You think I could do it?"

I grinned. "Definitely. But, if that never worked out, I think you should take Hooch's job. The girls would love you."

He rubbed my shoulder. "Why do I need that, I already have a girl who loves me."

I sat up. "And you should be lucky, Wood!"

"I am lucky, Bell."

Good.

"Who do you think will be Captain when I'm gone?"

I shrugged. "Maybe one of the Weasleys, maybe Angie. Hey, maybe even Harry! He can be the youngest Captain in two centuries!"

Oliver grinned. "Harry'd make a wonderful Captain. Hopefully all his adventures wouldn't get in the way."

I nodded. "He'd be good, but no one can be as obsessed about Quidditch as you. No one can be better Captain, either."

"I think you would."

"Never. I could never be Captain. I'm too emotional."

"Are you saying I'm not sensitive enough?" he asked, smirking.

"No, I'm just saying that I'm too emotional."

"Okay."

"All right."

He was silent for a second, like he was thinking. He rubbed my shoulder. He cleared his throat. "Katie?"

"Hmm?"

"T-Tell me about your da, what was he like?"

I sighed. "Oliver, I don't want to talk about him. Every time I think about him, I start crying."

"That's okay."

"Really, Oliver, I don't want to cry again."

He nodded. "I understand. If you ever need me…I'm here. I'm always here."

I nodded. "I know."

"I'm glad."

"So Dumbledore told you everything?"

"He told me that your father died and that I should keep an eye out for you if anything should happen…"

If anything should happen…He meant that you-know-who would try to kill me. Such good news. Harry was used to these sorts of things, people trying to kill him, I wasn't.

"He didn't tell you how he died?"

Oliver shook his head. I was going to brave all and say it out loud. "He was murdered by v-Voldemort."

Oliver grimaced. "No wonder," he said in a low voice.

"No wonder, what?"

"It's no wonder why you seem like you've changed."

"You-know-who didn't do that, the fact that my father's dead did that."

He didn't say anything. I looked up at him and he leaned in. He softly kissed my lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss, nothing like that. Nothing like Oliver. It was sad, like we both had our minds on something else. Kisses usually represent love and certain ideas that take you different places. That kiss was just, and only, a brush of lips that made me feel heavy and thick, like I wasn't going anywhere.

We pulled away at the same time and Oliver pulled me to him.

"All these times when you were with Fred…I've missed you."

"Missed you, too."

He looked down at me with dark eyes. He was still the same Oliver that I'd fallen in love with. He shook his gently.

"You look so different, Katie. Like you've changed."

I nodded. "I've been crying a lot, Oliver."

"I know. It still doesn't change who you are."

I didn't say anything. I rested my head on his chest and thought about that. Who I was. I wasn't sure who I was anymore. I wasn't sure how I felt about anything anymore. Nothing changed the fact that my father was still dead and my life still didn't make any sense. But I was working on it.

I hope you liked it! I hope this chapter and this new sequel isn't TOO tasteless. I know that it wasnt the greatest at all, but I was sort of in a rush just then. It will get better, I promise. THings between Katie and Oliver will get a LOT better (hint hint) and problems will be solved.

Read and Review! As always. :-) The more reviews, the faster the new chapters get updated.