Hello everyone! Long time, no see! It has been a long time since I have written something and I figured I might as well come out of hibernation on kataang week...:) Anyways, I'm sorry that I have been gone for so long, but here is something that I have been working on. As always the characters are aged up... I hope you like it. I believe it is a solid 'eh'.
Okay. READ ON IF YOU DARE.
P.s reviewing is appreciated...:)
She let out a tired yawn as she stared down at the bowl of assorted fruits in front of her. The bright colors appeared blurry in her fatigued vision and she could practically smell the intoxicating flavors wafting up from the soft flesh. They all looked plump and juicy, but eventually she settled on a reddish moonpeach that looked exceptionally ripe.
As she grabbed the soft fruit, she swung around the countertop and plopped into a seat at the large circular table that adorned the small room. Soft yellow lights filtered in through the window on the wall opposite of her, giving the room a surreal quality. It was just enough light to see, yet not so much that her groggy eyes were incinerated with a glimpse.
With a shaky hand she bent a small stream of pristine water from the bowl that was kept in the middle of the table. The water quickly shaped into an orb and wobbled in the air as she moved it toward herself. Once the water was floating above her soon to be breakfast, she clenched her open hand. The orb of water followed her command, and transformed into a piece of ice that resembled a knife.
Using the sharp end of her creation, she cut into the soft flesh of the peach, watching as sweet yellow juice spewed from the incision. Her cuts were smooth and precise despite her fatigue and pretty soon she had half of the peach cut up, leaving only a small puddle of juice to prove it.
As she moved to cut the pit out of the center, she was startled by a sudden hand on her shoulder. In her panic, her hand controlling the ice jerked and the sharp edge slid across the hand that was holding the peach steady.
She let out an angry hiss as the trail started to seep with scarlet blood. Before the liquid could even start to accumulate, she had healed it with the very water that had caused to cut in the first place.
Once the cut had vanished from her skin, she turned her two cerulean daggers to the person who had surprised her. She was met with the surprisingly bright eyes of Suki.
Suki was dressed in a green night shirt and a pair of shaggy brown pants that complimented her skin tone perfectly. Her hair was disheveled, but it was nothing compared to Katara's mess of hair. Her smile was luminous and shone brighter than the sun filtering through the window.
Her surprising happiness sent a surge of annoyance through Katara. For some reason she felt angry that Suki wasn't suffering like she was. It was selfish of her, but she couldn't deny it.
"Morning Suki." Katara mumbled with a tinge of anger on the edge of her voice. She knew Suki hadn't meant to cause harm, but she was in a particularly prickly mood.
"Sorry about that…" Suki said as her emerald eyes flickered to the spot where blood had been etched a few seconds ago. Any sign of the cut had vanished from sight. Katara shrugged in response to her apology before turning back to her half cut peach.
Suki dropped into the chair beside her and let out a large yawn before glancing over at her once more. Even without looking, she could tell that Suki was staring at her ragged appearence.
"Woah, did you even sleep last night? Because you aren't looking too good..." Suki remarked softly as she studied the deep circles beneath her eyes and the pale color that painted her normally tan face. She didn't need Suki to tell her how bad she looked, because she had seen the damage herself when she had looked in the mirror this morning. And it was bad.
Truth be told, she hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Or the night before. Or any night for the last week.
Every night she would say goodnight to all of her friends and she would crawl into her bed with a desperate hope that she might be able to actually get a wink of sleep. But her hope was always futile.
And it was all because of him.
The moment her eyes shut, she found pictures of him, rather than the darkness she was accustomed to. She would see him laughing or joking or smiling or him just being him. Sometimes he would even say things to her.
But that wasn't the problem. She always saw him in her dreams. He reminded her of everything that she loved in her life. He reminded her of everything that she lived for. He gave her a reason to want to wake up in the morning.
The problem was the fact that she had ruined it. Because she had been selfish. And stupid.
"Hello? Earth to Katara." Suki waved her hand in front of her blank stare. The moment Suki's voice penetrated her deep thoughts, she shook her head and tried to remember what Suki had been saying before she zoned out.
"Are you okay?" Concern laced the question.
No. She wasn't. "Yea I'm fine. I just slept in a bad position...".
She dropped her vacant gaze back to her unfinished breakfast. She didn't really feel like talking. All she wanted to do was apologize. But at the same time, she didn't feel she needed to apologize. Because he was just as wrong as she was. So basically she had no idea what she wanted.
"Well are you just going to stare at the peach or…?" Suki's voice came out in a playful way, but there was no hiding the softness behind it. Suki was speaking as if she would fall to pieces if she wasn't careful.
"I'm not so hungry anymore, but you can have the rest if you want." She held out what was left in her hand, but Suki shook her head when she moved it towards her.
"So where is everyone?" Suki asked absentmindedly when Katara moved the peach back to herself.
"I know Sokka went to go pick up a package, and I'm pretty sure Toph is still sleeping.." She paused for a moment.
Her gaze moved back to her fingers that were covered in peach juice. She could feel her calmness slipping away, being replaced by the hopelessness that was crawling up her throat. But she knew she had to be strong. So she swallowed her self pity and turned to look at Suki once more.
"And Aang is… well I think he had to pick something up from the market before he… left." Her voice broke on the last word. It was such a terrible word.
As she spoke, she fiddled with her fingers in a way that sent jolts of pain up her hand reminding her to stay calm. But it was nothing in comparison to the pain she had been experiencing all week.
"Oh yea… I forgot about that…" The guilt was evident in Suki's voice. She knew that Suki hadn't meant to rub salt in her wound. All Suki had wanted was polite conversation with her friend. But she had accidentally brought up the only thing that was off limits.
Katara swallowed down the emotions that were rising up her throat before she finally spoke.
"It's fine. I'm fine. I just… I'm fine, really." She abruptly stood from the table and pushed her chair in. She needed to be alone. "I think I am going to finish up those documents on the republic city budget. I think uh.. Aang needs them before he leaves."
She didn't mention that she had already finished them. Two nights ago. When she should have been sleeping.
Suki started to protest, but stopped when she caught a glimpse of the pain in her friend's fleeting eyes. When Suki said nothing more, Katara left the room and headed down the long hallway to her quarters.
With every step she took, the lump in her throat grew. By the time she made it to her room, she could barely breathe.
When she opened her door, she immediately walked over to her desk which was covered in dozens of papers of all sorts. They ranged from political documents to funny momentos that she had felt the need to write down.
She pushed aside the papers in the middle of the desk, and pulled out a blank piece of parchment.
Over the years, she had found that writing down her struggles usually helped her cope in some way. For some reason, it allowed her to see her life in a different view that wasn't quite as overwhelming as it felt. And when she was done explaining herself in ink, she would burn the piece of paper. It was almost as if her problems burned with the words.
Maybe if she wrote about her problem now she could find a way to fix it. Or at least make the wound hurt a little less..
Pulling the inkwell to the corner of her paper, she picked up her writing quill and sat down in front of the white blank page.
Very gently, she pressed the sharp tip to the paper and watch the ink penetrate the rough white surface. For a second, she just watched the black spread out around the tip. It moved like dark shadows over fresh snow. It was mesmerizing and when she finally moved the tip, the black had grown to be over an inch wide. The mark felt important in a way that was indescribable. Maybe it was just a black spot, but it felt like something more.
But she hadn't sat down to stare and ponder about an ink splotch.
So ignoring the mark, she turned to the empty white space and started to pour her heart onto the paper.
She moved the quill down and up and diagonal and around, creating the letters which created the words which created the sentences. All of her insecurities and emotions materialized on the paper in front of her in a matter of minutes, or what felt like minutes. When she finally reached the end of her page, she had no choice but to stop.
She pulled her head up from the desk and stared at the page that she had just spewed her heart onto. And for a moment, she felt a little better. Like she had resurfaced from drowning. But the moment was far too small, and in an instant she was under the strangling waters once more.
In an attempt to regain the numbed feeling, she read her paper to herself. Looking over it, she realized that although it started like a diary entry, describing things like her wants and dreams, it had ended as a letter.
To Aang.
The words voiced her apology for not seeing his side of the story. For not understanding. For acting like a fool.
But the other half of the letter voiced her anger. The rage that had been building inside of her since their fight a week ago. Why had he pushed her into hating him? He had been the one to blow everything out of proportion! He had been the one who treated her as if she was a helpless polar pup who couldn't survive on her own... He had been the one to hurt her.
Why had he asked her to stay behind?
His demand had been like an icy blow to the back. His choice had taken her from being his equal, to being his inferior. Like she wasn't good enough for him. And that hurt the most.
Her head flung back and she let out an aggravated wail of despair. Everything just sucked. Plain and simple.
And deep down, she knew that the only way to end the suffering was to talk to Aang. To make him understand how she felt.
But she couldn't just waltz in and explain herself like she had on the piece of paper. It just wouldn't work. She gulped when a terrible thought appeared in her mind.
Maybe they just didn't work.
The moment she allowed it to take root in her thoughts, she instantly regretted it. Now she was the one taking everything out of proportion.
Her eyes wandered back to the page and she decided that the only thing to do now was to burn the evidence.
She picked up the piece of paper, ready to destroy her innermost feelings with the strike of a match, when a knock on the door interrupted her.
Slowly releasing her grip on the paper, she laid the page on a stack of documents before heading across the room to open her door. She eased the door open a crack and upon seeing the familiar green shirt she had seen that morning, she opened it all the way.
"Hey Suki." She let out in what seemed like a relieved huff. It felt like she was just talking to her a moment ago, but in reality she had lost track of time in her frantic ranting session.
"Hey, sorry to disturb you, but Aang needs the report that you were working on. He didn't want to- uh disturb you." Once again, a look of guilt crossed her face. The fact that Suki felt bad when she just mentioned his name made Katara want to smack herself in the face. She needed to woman up. Or at least do a better job at hiding her inner deterioration.
"Oh yea, give me a sec.." She said before turning around and grabbing the stack of papers on the corner of her desk. Her problem sleeping had actually benefitted the report, since she had nothing else to do while she sat up in the middle of the night.
After snatching up her work, she shambled back to the door and placed the product in Suki's outstretched arms.
"He will need to check it before he leaves because I have all of the information that is compiled in the budget report. If he finds a problem, just tell me."
She gave Suki a small smile before starting to push the door shut. But when the door got about halfway, her hand stopped and she looked back up at Suki.
Her teeth cut into her lip in a nervous way, before she finally spat out the question that had been nagging her.
"Is he... Okay?" Her eyes avoided Suki's stare as she mentioned him. She didn't want to give away her longing. She didn't want him to know just how much she missed him.
"I don't know.. He is quieter than usual. I think he really misses you... Why don't you just ask him yourself?" At the idea, she immediately recoiled back into herself. She couldn't face him. Not now. Or anytime soon.
"At least say goodbye. He is going to be gone for a month, maybe longer." Suki continued, but she was no longer listening. She was starting to shut the door again. Both figuratively and literally.
"Uh, maybe." Not.
She practically slammed the door shut in Suki's face but she didn't worry too much. Suki was used to the cold shoulder at this point.
With Suki gone, she headed back to her desk to destroy the paper she had almost forgotten about.
But when she got to the desk, she couldn't seem to find the sheet. Her eyebrows creased in confusion as she started shifting the mess on her desk around, becoming more frantic with every second that passed by. Eventually she just started to fling the papers in every direction, not even worrying about where they landed.
She even looked under the desk, thinking that maybe a draft had blown it off the top or the door slam had sent it down...
But she knew it was a pointless effort. Because the paper wasn't there.
It wasn't anywhere in her room.
It was on the stack of papers that she had just given to Suki.
The papers that Aang was going to review.
At the thought of Aang reading that piece of paper, she broke out into a sticky sweat. A rush of heat exploded on her forehead and she had to take a deep breath to calm herself. Dark splotches appeared at the edge of her vision and her body swayed.
She closed her eyes and tried to remember if she had said anything important about him. But she didn't need to think hard because she knew that the whole thing had practically revolved around him.
Another wave of panic washed over her and she slumped to the floor in defeat. In a couple of minutes he would know everything. He would know that she had regretted her choice. He would know that she was sorry. He would know that he kept her up every night. And she had no doubt mentioned her fantasies about him in the more diary related sections.
She suddenly hoped that her words had stayed on the less descriptive side of things. Just because she was mad at him, didn't mean that her subconscious wasn't still attracted to him.
She slapped a sweaty palm to her forehead as she sank even farther onto the ground if that was possible. A small scream of desperation was rising up her throat when an idea suddenly occurred to her.
Maybe he hadn't gotten the papers yet…maybe Suki had just dropped them off, or he hadn't decided to take her advice and review them before he left. Maybe.
If she could just get her hands on the stack for a moment, she could easily grab the page, rip it into a million shreds, burn it, bury the ashes, and flood the area with water. Simple.
There was a small sliver of chance.
And she would take whatever she could get.
With that thought, she practically leapt from the floor and sprinted to the door. As she tried to regain any sense of calm, she inched open the door and peered down the hall in both directions. She didn't want anyone to see her sneaking into Aang's room. That would definitely cause some questions she couldn't answer. Luckily the hallway was clear.
The papers were most likely already in his room, which was two doors down from hers.
Scanning the hall one more time, she headed into the empty walkway and moved towards his sanctuary. She hoped that for some reason he wasn't in there.
Maybe the spirits would be kind to her.
Once she arrived at the door, a shiver ran down her spine. It looked more intimidating than usual. As if it knew her plan and was trying to keep her out of the room. She knocked on his door quietly, praying that he didn't answer. After a few seconds if waiting with no response, she decided that she would go for it.
All or nothing.
With an overly shaky hand, she nudged the surface forward until it slowly creaked open, revealing a darkened room. A small relieved breath escaped her before she tiptoed farther into his sanctuary.
So far, so good.
Never before had she been in this room without him here. His presence had given the room a luminescent quality that had always drawed her in. But now the walls were dark, and the smiling monk was no where to be found. She was almost sad that she hadn't been caught. But she didn't linger on that thought.
Instead she moved with the most poise she could muster in the direction of his study area. Her movements were swift and quiet as she looked around in search of her secret words, but they were no where to be found on his desk. For a moment she wondered if he had already left. The thought sent a surprising surge of dejection through her and she had to fight the urge to scream. But as she moved her head around, she caught a bit of yellow on the edge of her vision.
His bag was sitting on the bed, which was proof that he was still there, and that meant the papers had to be here too. She wasn't sure which one she was happier about.
But she knew the papers weren't in here. She suddenly wondered if Suki had even handed them over yet. She mentally slapped herself for not thinking of that beforehand.
Just as she turned to go find Suki, she heard a floorboard creek in the hallway. Someone was coming.
Without hesitating, she threw her body to the floor and rolled underneath the small bed that was along the back wall. She had just finished pulling her feet under, when the door was flung open and a dim candle lit up the room. The door shut behind the person and the sound of a lock clicking into place followed.
She sucked in a deep breath as two familiar brown boots moved across the floor in her direction. Her heartbeat picked up with every step closer they got. By the time the feet stopped, they were right in front of her face. Her heart was beating like a drum and it was a shock that it didn't give her away. She could only hope that the person hadn't noticed the waterbender beneath the bed.
Suddenly a large thud shook the frame above her. The bed groaned from the new item and it sounded as if someone had dropped a weight on the old springs. The thud was followed by a deep melancholy sigh. She knew for sure that it was him at that moment. A pang of sadness stabbed her when she realized how tired and sad his sigh sounded. It lacked all of the happiness that defined his usual personality.
She had no doubt that she was the cause of his affliction.
At that moment her instinct told her to crawl out from underneath the bed and just confess. He would understand. He always forgave her so easily. But the more daring side told her to wait him out. There was still a chance that she could get the paper and get out without being caught and there would be no chance of collateral damage.
In the end, the daring side won out. She stayed quiet and held her breath.
As if in response to her decision, he sat down on the bed causing the bottom of the bed to billow out where his weight pushed down. Once he was situated he started to remove his shoes with a grunt of effort. He threw to the ground and coincidentally one landed inches away from her nose. Just her luck.
She had to think of a way to get him to leave. A diversion would be perfect, if she could just get-
He suddenly stood back up from the bed. Her hopes soared and she thought that maybe he would leave his room. But her hopes were quickly squelched when his orange sash fluttered to the floor.
Oh spirits.
This couldn't be good.
There was a sound that was familiar to fingers moving against fabric before his pants joined the pile of clothing on the floor.
Even though she couldn't see anything, her face still shot up fifty degrees and she didn't need a mirror to tell her that her cheeks were redder than the firelord's robes. She wanted to shut her eyes but they were frozen in a wide eyed position. This was definitely not part of the plan.
If she had been holding her breath in before, it was nothing compared to now. She was like a balloon ready to pop.
But much to her relief, her embarrassment was short lived because he quickly opened his bathroom door and left the room before her vision was scarred.
She was just thankful that the bed had hidden everything above his bare knees. Anything higher would have been mortifying. Although her mind did wonder...
The bathroom door shut with a snap, jolting her from her wandering thoughts. The moment the coast was clear, she shot out from under the bed and darted to the door. She could hear the water of the shower turn on as she moved across the wooden floors. She had about five minutes tops, which was plenty of time to evacuate.
But instead of flinging open the door and running for the hills, her hand hesitated on the door knob.
A blur of white caught her eye at the edge of her vision. She slowly pivoted on her heels to find the answer to all of her problems. Kind of.
On the bed sat the report, and she could see her paper on the top from where she stood. The stack had been that large thud that she had heard earlier. Her face exploded in happiness and she let out a squeal of sweet relief before she could stop herself.
Slapping her hand over her mouth, she cursed herself and listened for the sound of running water.
She heard it for a moment before it was cut off abruptly and a deep voice occupied the air.
"Hello?" His silvery voice reverberated through the bathroom door.
With all the speed she could muster, she ran across the room, snatched up her sheet and sprinted back to the door. All in less than two seconds. Her hand moved liked lightning and she had the doorknob in her grasp, and she was pulling the door open… time slowed and she could see her escape… the light came through the crack in the door…the fresh air swirled through the crack that was growing bigger... Almost big enough to squeeze through...
And then a gust of wind blasted through the room and knocked the door shut with a slam.
Despite the fact that she knew she was caught, she kept pulling on the door in vain. She even raised one foot to the wall to get the best leverage she could on the unyielding door.
"Katara?" His voice was a deep husky baritone that sent a jolt through her. She could hear the confusion in his tone and she wondered what he could be thinking.
After all, she had shown up during his shower time...
Slowly she turned from the door and moved her gaze to him. The moment she laid her eyes on him, she regretted her decision to turn away from her escape.
All he had on was a towel around his waist.
Her breath hitched as her eyes wandered against her will. In his hurry he hadn't dried off, so his skin glistened with tiny drops of water. Every time he inhaled, his chest rose and caused the light to flicker off the water in a mesmerizing way. And his chest was built with muscles that hadn't been there when she had traveled with him all those years ago. Just to make everything even better.
His skinny frame had changed drastically into a view that would easily make a woman swoon. She was feeling lightheaded herself, but for a completely different reason.
She was caught.
"What are you doing in my room?" His voice was skeptical but she could see a smirk appearing on his face. He probably noticed the redness that was rapidly absorbing the flesh tone in her face...
"Um.. heh… funny story… I thought this was my room and I just… silly me- I'll just be out of your- er figurative hair.." The whole time she was speaking, her eyes shifted to anywhere but him. Even without looking at him, she could feel his magnetism. A small voice in her mind reminded her that she was still mad and-
"You're blushing. And your voice is getting higher. I know you are lying." His voice was as smooth as silk and his silver eyes sparkled as if he thought her bumbling was funny. She instantly regained her composure and in the place of panic she found anger.
"No I'm not! And that's not why I'm blushing..." She stopped before she made herself look even stupider.
His eyes instantly lit up to a much lighter shade of gray. "Oh so then why are you blushing?"
"I feel bad for going in your room, that's all.." As she spoke, her eyes flickered to anywhere but his face. He would easily see through her flimsy lie if he saw her eyes.
"Oh yeah, that makes sense." His voice practically dropped with sarcasm. All the while, his head bobbed up and down as he agreed a little too enthusiastically.
Her face grew a shade darker before she could finally stutter out any type of defense. "Well I did walk in while you were taking a shower..!" As she spoke her eyes instinctively moved to his towel once and it was as if he finally realized that he was half naked in front of her.
But instead of blushing or maybe evacuating in shame, he just looked her right in the eyes and smirked with an absurd amount of confidence. The years had really changed him. He rarely blushed unless something really embarrassing happened. And he obviously didn't find this too embarrassing...in fact, he found it quite funny.
"Oh... so you are intimidated by me?" He raised his eyebrows in question, but he had to be playing with her. Anyone with eyes could see the effect he had on her. She had practically melted into a puddle at the sight of him. As he spoke he leaned casually against the bathroom doorframe, with a smile that could kill on sight.
"What..? No... of course I'm not! " She stuttered, feigning shock at his suggestive question. It was so out of place in their situation, and deep beneath her frazzled emotions, she felt a surge of anger rise up. Did he forget that they were fighting? He had no right to be making her feel this way. If she wasn't so flustered she would have slapped him.
"Yea. You are. I know you, Katara. And you are a bad liar." His smirk widened into a teethy grin, knowing he was right.
"Well you're a bad judge of character because you obviously don't know me."
"Stop changing the subject, Katara. You and I both know the reason why you're blushing." When he finished his eyes drifted to the floor. His face contorted for a moment before he looked back up, his expression now completely serious.
"So why are you here?" As he spoke he stood up strait again and took a step closer. Her hand clutching the crumpled piece of paper tightened and moved farther behind her back. A sharp edge of the paper bit into her hand and almost made her forget about her guilt. But not quite.
She felt terrible. He had probably hoped that she had come to apologize or at least say goodbye. But instead she was sneaking around in his private space, in search of her mistake. She would be crushed if she was in his position, considering the fact that part of the reason she stayed up every night was because she secretly hoped he would come to her and apologize.
But he hadn't.
The thought turned over in her stomach and easily beat down the guilt.
Her only focus now was escape.
She attempted to turn the door handle that was pressing into her back, but her position wouldn't allow the leverage she needed to budge it.
All the while, he stared directly into her eyes, like he was trying to find an answer amongst the torrents of waves in her ocean colored irises. His stare was so intense that she forgot everything for a moment. The fight. The letter. The sneaking. The escape. For a moment it was just them, looking into each other's eyes.
But the bubble of safety went as quickly as it had come and she was forced to turn away.
"I- uh- came to say goodbye. So goodbye." She nodded in his direction then whipped around and yanked on the door as hard as she could. The gust of wind must have jammed the door through the frame because it showed no sign of movement anytime soon.
While she was distracted with the door, Aang silently walked up behind her. He moved like the wind and she never heard him until his sweet voice drifted into her ears from directly behind her.
"You are not leaving until you tell the truth." He said in a low voice that almost seemed seductive. On second thought, she was probably just imagining the seductive part. His closeness was doing crazy things to her thinking process. His chin was practically siting on her shoulder and she could feel his warm breath billowing across her cheek making the baby hairs raise in response.
She hadn't been this close to him in a week. A long and lonely week.
During her hesitation, his eyes drifted down until they caught on her clenched fist. Her knuckles were white as they held onto the note like a life buoy, and easily gave away her secret.
His lips moved close to her ear once more and he whispered into her ear. "What's in your hand?" His words were almost threatening but at the same time, they were as gentle as a feather. Only he had the power to use his words in such a way that she had no fear of him, yet she still wanted to yield to his command.
At the question her hand holding the paper jerked in the opposite direction, so that it was as far away from him as possible. He of course noticed her action and moved his hand to grab for hers. But before he could even get halfway, she spun away from his hold and backed several feet away from him and his magnetic effect. For a moment his face was stunned, but the moment fled quickly and his features soon reflected that of a cat about to catch its prey. Playful yet promising. Escape was looking pretty impossible at that point.
Quick as the wind he bent, he crossed the distance and captured her in a surprisingly firm hold that might have looked like an aggressive hug to any onlookers. She squirmed helplessly while grunting angry curses in his direction.
"Let...me... Go!" Each word came out in an agitated huff, but the moment she finished, he immediately took a step back. It was too simple.
Surprised by her easy escape, she didn't know what to do for a few seconds. She breathed heavily despite the fact that she hadn't really been smothered by his hold... It had more to do with the fact that his upper half had been both bare and wet when he had grabbed her. One could say she was "a bit" flustered. His dripping torso had left its mark on her light blue dress reminding her of his momentary closeness. A small part of her yearned for the closeness once more.
But instead of igniting those desires, she put on a mask of anger and water bent the dampness from her bodice.
When she looked back up, after her dress was once again dry, she found herself staring into his hypnotizing eyes which were only about a foot away from her face.
They were deeper than usual, and flecks of light gray sparkled within the darker tones. He stared at her with the same longing that she hid beneath her mask, and for what seemed like the millionth time that night, she felt that she needed to apologize. But instead of listening to every ounce of her soul, she instead shifted her gaze away from his searing eyes.
Her retreat had probably hurt him more than her. But if it did he didn't show it. Because the next moment his eyes were back on the prize in her fist.
Before she could stop him, he airbent a stream of wind through her unprepared hand and dislodged the tight ball of paper. In the next instance he had directed the air to place the paper into his own outstretched hand.
"Hey-!" She exclaimed in shock, all emotion but anger leaving her voice. "Give it back!" She hoped that she concealed the rising desperation that accompanied her tone.
She grabbed at his hands frantically, but he just rose them above her head, using his extra height to his advantage. She jumped and clawed at his arm, but her vertical had nothing against his extra foot of height.
"What's this?" He said in a mocking tone as the paper slowly unfolded in his fingers. Her desperation quickly took complete control and she did the first thing that popped in her mind. Using the wall behind her to push off, she full out tackled him.
He let out a grunt of surprise as they tumbled to the ground in a tangle of arms and legs. She grabbed at his slick arms, trying to reach the piece of paper, as if it was life or death. When Aang finally understood her tactics, he easily rolled over, using his weight in his favor. His weight and height were definitly winning this battle for him.
But despite the uneven odds, she put up a fight. Although with every move she made, she just became more trapped by his countermoves. She howled in anger as her situation seemed to just get worse and worse. Even though she was clearly overpowered, she refused to stop squirming and clawing towards the paper. Eventually, he had her stuck in a position where only her fingers could move.
Yet she used what little she had and dug her nails into the tender flesh in his wrists. Above her, his teeth gritted from the pain, but her effort did nothing to faze his steady defenses.
So maybe she couldn't fight him physically, but maybe she could use her words in her favor.
"PLEASE. Just let me go! I WILL DO ANYTHING!" Her words hadn't given her the strong demeanor she hoped for, but they did at least soften his grip on her arms.
"Anything?" He said through a playful smile. She knew he was joking, but she still blushed despite her best effort to hold it down.
"If I could, I would hit you." She said through clenched teeth. Boiling anger bubbled beneath her skin and she hoped that at least a fraction of it was reflected in her eyes.
And surprisingly her eyes invoked the exact reaction she wanted.
"I'm sorry. Promise to stop fighting and I will give you the paper, okay?" He said softly as a sad wave rolled across his features. The moment she stopped struggling, he rolled off of her and onto his knees, never taking his eyes off of her. Like she would run off the moments he was free. She suddenly remembered that he had still been wearing a towel when she had tackled him.
The thought sent a rush of blood to her face and she hid it behind her hair as she reached out a hand for the piece of paper. He handed it over to her willingly and gave her a reassuring smile. After recieving the paper, she pushed herself up so she was on her knees, too. She tried to avoid her gaze while she thinking of what to do next. A new thought suddenly occurred to her.
"You already read it, didn't you." It was a statement, not a question. It all made too much sense. Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle came together and formed the answer.
At first he said nothing, still holding her gaze. There was a deepness within the flickering gray that had been absent before. He was probably debating on his answer, but whatever he decided to do didn't matter. She knew it was true the moment she said it.
Her emotions swirled inside of her and in an almost confused daze, she broke contact with him. Surprisingly the most dominant emotion clashing with her thoughts was freedom. The burden of her self hatred seemed to dissentegrate into thin air.
Her soul that had been hurting for her terrible decision making skills finally stopped aching so much.
"Are you okay?"
Ha. Five minutes ago her answer would have come in the form of a crazy scream. But not so much now.
In response she nodded her head slowly while keeping her gaze away from him. For some reason the idea of looking at him felt like it would shatter her newly found peace.
A crisp silence followed her gesture, and hours seemed to pass before he spoke again.
"Katara, I'm sorry. For everything. You just have to understand that if I take you to go fight the rebel forces, there is a chance that you could get hurt or… you know. And I can't lose you. Just being around you already puts you at a big enough risk. I could never live with myself if I knew that I had played a part in your…" His eyes drifted and she knew that he was genuinely scared for her. All this time they had been fighting because he was scared that she would get hurt. And she had known that.
With a gentle hand, she reached across the distance between them and place her palm on his cheek. His skin was warm beneath her touch as she lifted his eyes to meet hers.
"I have been with you on these trips for years, why did you choose now to finally say no?"
Instantly his cheeks brightened into a flaming red. The rare blush appeared and instantly made her wonder what was going on in that arrowed head.
"Well you see... I've been thinking about the future and... You know... Our future." When her eyes widened, he waved his hands in a frantic gesture. "I mean not that it will be soon...It was more of my mind going on crazy tangents..."
"But I still don't get why that makes a difference...?"
He clenched his eyes shut and wrinkles appeared on his forehead. His lips became a strait line before his expression finally opened up.
"Nightmares. That is the answer. I have been having nightmares." The tone in his voice was full of shame and self hatred. For once, he avoided her prying eyes, instead of the other way around. She could practically feel the torment pulsating from him in waves.
It took him another second before he continued. "It all started a couple weeks ago.. I.. Uh began a project. But ever since that night, I can't stop seeing you.. Suffer... Because of me. Every time it happens, you always scream my name before I wake up. It didn't take me long to decide that I don't ever want to put you in that kind of danger. Not in real life. It would kill me."
How ironic. She was suffering with nightmares because of his nightmare.
"Aang."
His eyes finally rose from the spot on the floor and moved over her face. The glimmering in his happy eyes was gone and replaced by a cold gray color. The color of a storm cloud on a rainy night.
"You have to understand that I chose to be with you, knowing that there were dangers. I can defend myself. I'm not some helpless child. And I know how you feel. If you ever got hurt and I wasn't there to help you, I would always blame myself." She slid her hand down his smooth cheek and ran her thumb over his lips for just a moment before pulling her hand away. As she was pulling her hand back, his hand shot out of no where and caught hers.
With a gentle tug, he pulled her into hug. She was tense at first, but her body recognized his and easily shaped against him.
"I really am sorry. I never meant to cause you so much pain. I had no idea that you were suffering so much... Please forgive my foolishness. But I want you to understand that you are everything to me. I hate putting you in danger, but I love you more." He whispered into her ear. As his deep voice moved around her, she nuzzled her face deeper into the tender skin between his shoulder and neck. She inhaled his musky scent and decided that this was where she belonged. In his arms.
She smiled. Maybe writing that letter did help.
When their hug finally broke apart, she found herself sitting in his lap, still held tightly against his broad chest. She peered up into those mesmerizing gray eyes before asking him the question that had been lingering in the back of her mind.
"So… you read all of it?" She gulped as she waited for his response.
He smiled and his eyes lit up with that familiar twinkle of humor once more, all evidence of seriousness wiped away.
"Yea… Its good to know that my butt is worthy of appearing in your dreams…"
Eh he. Sorry I couldn't resist all the cliches... I wish the end would have turned out better, but at this point you should just be happy that I wrote something. Also sorry if it is too OOC. But hey. NO RAGRETS.