Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto.

I wrote this after reading something similar to it. It's somewhat recent, but i don't remember the name. It's even got the same premise and characters...but I wrote it anyway and I like it enough to post it. Enjoy!

Ibiki hated hospitals. People thought Kakashi hated them- Ibiki was nothing compared to him. So when Tsunade signed him up for a full physical with the threat of death he contemplated committing murder.

But he showed up. He showed up because the large amount of his brain that was logical was telling him that he hadn't had a physical since he became a chunin- over fifteen years ago.

He hated logic.

He strode into the waiting room with an air of imminent death. He saw several nurses shrink from his gaze and smirked. His reputation had preceded him, per usual.

"Sir?" squeaked a brunette who stood nearly two feet under him. Wow, she was short.

"I'm here for a physical. Tsunade herself sent me." he growled, trying his best to look unpleasant. It worked.

"Y-yes sir. I'll just send you t-to Sakura." stuttered the nurse.

"Haruno?"

"Y-yes, of course."

Ibiki frowned. He'd heard that Kakashi's female student was a medic, a damn good one at that, but he did not want her tattling on anyone about his body. He would have preferred an old medic with a large mole. He hated moles.

He was guided (at a distance) by another nurse to a patients' room. He waited them, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

Sakura entered, looking tired. "You're my last patient of the day, so we'd better make this quick," She glanced down at the clipboard she was holding and her mouth turned into an O. "Morino-san."

"I think it'll take a little longer than that," chuckled Ibiki. "I can come back, if you'd like."

"No, no, I'm fine, I was just…never mind," Sakura gave him a nervous grin. "If you'd take off your coat and shirt."

Ibiki hung up his coat on a hook and unbuckled his shirt, placing it on top of his coat. He concentrated on everything but Sakura's face as her eyes ran over her deeply scarred chest.

"Oh! Don't forget to take off your gloves."

Ibiki rolled his eyes as he gave up his gloves too.

"Don't give me that look. A full physical is a full physical."

Sakura read one of the lines written on the paper being held down by the clipboard. 'Morino Ibiki. Seventeen years old. Brought in after _ with the client _. Six broken ribs, his right arm nearly severed. Immediate surgery. Both legs broken. Eight fingers broken. Multiple puncture wounds to right side of chest. Severe intestinal bleeding.'

'This should be fun.' she thought bitterly. She ran her fingers over his scars, running chakra through them and softening them. The scar tissue in his lungs and near his heart had to be lessened or he'd end up suffocating from the inside.

"Shrapnel?" asked Sakura absently as she fixed up a patchwork of small scars.

"Yes."

She found the thick, wide scar around his shoulder that marked where he'd almost lost his arm.

"You must've had one hell of a medic."

"Ever heard of Rin?"

"Sounds familiar." Kakashi had mentioned her once, sounding distant and sad, so she'd never brought it up again.

"She was the best for a long time. She died a while back. You may be even better though. My chest hasn't felt so light in ages."

Sakura laughed. "It's called feeling healthy."

"Have you seen my head?" he asked sarcastically.

Sakura had to reset and heal several of his ribs right there, causing him to hiss and groan in pain. "Get over it, you're a big boy."

"I know."

She moved on to his chest, commenting on how odd it was that he managed to have such hard muscles despite the enormous amount of scar tissue on his stomach, making him laugh. His laugh was so baritone and throaty that Sakura almost fell over.

"Let me see your hands."

She felt his hands, clearly noticing where his fingers had been broken many times over the years. The joints were jerky and badly connected, and she tutted.

"What?" asked Ibiki, concerned.

"You're falling apart. Your fingers reflect your body- your hundreds of injuries over the years have made you a brain held together but scar tissue, and I'm only barely exaggerating. To continue at a healthy level of living you should come in for physical therapy once a week."

"And what happens if I don't?"

"Your body continues to deteriorate until you can't move have your limbs because of the muscles spasms and seizing."

"Oh."

"So, will you do the physical therapy?"

"Are you going to make Tsunade make me?" asked Ibiki.

"Yes."

"Fine." sighed Ibiki resignedly.

"Good. I'll continue the exam now."

Sakura basically ended up pouring chakra into Ibiki's hands to get them to better working condition. "I bet you're in a lot of pain most of the time. Your joints are shot all over and that's got to ache." she said sympathetically.

"Yeah." He didn't offer up any more information, and she didn't ask.

Sakura forced him to pull down his pants, using the opportunity to check her clipboard again.

'Ibiki Morino. Twenty-five years old. On mission _ for ANBU's _. Back from interrogation. Lacerations and puncture wounds on legs and thighs. Right leg broken. Arms broken. Delirious. Skull in serious need of surgery because of screw holes and lightning burns.'

But the worst of all…Sakura found herself staring in horror at the last line.

'Left testicle removed by enemy. Nearly bled out.'

Being a woman didn't diminish the squeamishness that made her feel. She knew Ibiki had gone through hell and high water for the Leaf, but that was ridiculous. She was going to recommend him for a medal or something. She resisted the urge to cover her privates by instinct, letting her eyes fall on several thin, long scars running in lines on his thighs.

"There're no records of these." commented Sakura.

Ibiki concentrated on the wall behind her. "I didn't get those on any mission." he said flatly.

"They're not recent. Did you get them inn a fight with another ANBU or something?"

Ibiki didn't answer, just stared at the wall. Sakura's eyes widened when she examined the scars closer. Thin, long lines, so close together and not caused by a mission…

"I'm sorry."

"Why? I was an idiot."

Sakura found that those scars weren't very deep and ignored them, moving on to using chakra to realign the pieces of metal in his legs to the right spots.

"A lot of people wouldn't be surprised."

"Are you one of them?"

Sakura squinted at his foot. It looked like someone with metal boots had stomped on it at some point. "Ow."

"Hm? Oh, that," Ibiki shrugged. "No big deal."

"No," said Sakura, answering Ibiki's earlier question. "No, I was definitely surprised. I never thought you'd be one to end up doing that to yourself."

"It was back when I first worked in ANBU. I couldn't deal with the pressure so I…did that. I stopped though, so no one needs to worry about any more scars of that sort."

"Of course. As your medic, I'd have to discourage you from hurting yourself," She cracked a grin at him. "I'd say the same as your friend, too."

She forced him to take off his bandanna and he complied. His head didn't seem as bad as the first time she'd seen it during the Chunin exams, but it was still grotesque.

"Nothing new, right?" asked Sakura.

"No. I haven't been on a mission in quite some time. T&I is a time consuming place to work."

"I'm sure." Her fingers probed his head, and she sent even more of her chakra into his body, beginning to feel fatigued. Now she knew why Tsunade had assigned him to her. Most other medics would have exhausted their chakra long ago.

"Do you take care of these?"

"Somewhat. When I have time."

"I'm worried about your skull. There isn't much skin left between the top of your head and your skull itself, making your brain more susceptible to disease. If I were you I would also come in for surgery."

"Are you going to make me?"

"Yes."

"I guess I have no choice."

Sakura smiled. "You guessed right. Now for your underwear. This is a full physical."

He made a face but obeyed and she did a very good job of not wincing.

She bent down. "How on earth did you get that scar?"

She traced a scar that ran in a trail from Ibiki's navel to a place utterly more painful.

"I really don't like thinking about it."

She had been wearing gloves since the beginning, and Ibiki had more than enough self control to not react to any of her ministrations.

"This just all looks so painful." she murmured, half to herself.

"As I said, I don't like thinking about it. Not one of the best days of my life."

"All this in one day?" she said incredulously.

He tapped the largest scar, the one where his left testis should have been. "That was the last to go."

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…"

"Tell me about it." he chuckled.

"And that one?" She pointed to the scar travelling in a spiral around his shaft.

"First one. Trust me, everything about those scars are deeply ingrained in my memory."

"I can probably make them a little less stiff and painful, if you'd like. Maybe make it easier to sit."

"I can sit just fine." he scowled.

"That's not what I meant!" she said hastily. "I meant that scars of that calibre can be painful and unyielding."

"That's a better way to put it."

Several uncomfortable minutes later Sakura was done and dumped the disposable gloves in the trash.

"There," she announced. "The torture is done."

"Eh, that wasn't torture. I'd rather be getting a root canal, but that wasn't torture." He put his clothes back on, feeling much calmer with nearly all his body covered.

"You'll come in for therapy?"

"Yes."

"And surgery?"

"Yes."

He looked sour, and she grinned. "I'm doing this for you. I don't think you want your victims to witness your brain fall apart in front of them."

Squelching the awful image, he waved his hand and bid goodbye. Sakura smiled. Ibiki wasn't a bad guy after all.

Did you like? Review if you did!