Note: Rated T for Alcohol Consumption
Not really a prediction for the episode, but takes place around time of 5x09
She sat stiffly in the dark, tears lightly falling down her cheeks while some dramatic soap opera she wasn't even watching played in the background.
Hanna's POV
I hate crying. All that comes out of it is puffy eyes and a feeling that's worse than before. I hate the burst of extreme sadness that isn't going away anytime soon. Today was one of those stressful days that I just wanted to be over before it even began. I'd been having those a lot recently. It started with Spencer nagging me…again. She'd been doing that a lot lately. And to top it off, she went to Caleb's meanwhile giving him a speech on the "destructive" (that's a direct quote) path we're going down. Later I got into a fight with Ali, shortly followed by Aria. That'd been happening a lot lately, too…with Aria, not Ali. Ali was being too nice lately. Well, before today. After our fight at Emily's, she seemed strangely focused on if I was mad at her, like she'd felt terrible if I was, like she wanted to make it better. She probably just wanted to get on my good side. Or maybe she did feel bad; I don't know. It was strange. Ali could play the victim one moment, which in some ways she was, and revert back to her old ways the next. She made me feel like we were in 7th grade all over again, even if she didn't mean to. Then there were the complications with Emily. Lately Emily wasn't even talking to me and when we did talk it'd usually end in a fight about Alison.
I heard the back door open.
"Mom?!"
I rushed to wipe the tears from my face, which I'm sure smudged my mascara making me look like a bad Taylor Momsen look-alike.
I looked up when I saw Caleb walk in the entry way with a six pack of beer and a gray beanie dangling halfway off his head.
"Hey," I tried to sound as normal as possible. "What are you doing here?"
Caleb's POV
I walked through the back door of Hanna's house, just coming from the store. You'd think they'd lock their doors with "A" still out there.
I heard Hanna shout from the living room, so I shut the door and headed in there.
She looked up immediately when she saw me, her makeup smudged and with a smile so clearly forced. It looked like she'd been crying.
She asked why I'd come over, but I ignored her and went on to figure out what happened.
"Hanna, what's wrong?"
"What do you mean," she shrugged as if everything was fine? But I knew better.
I slowly walked over to sit next to her on the couch as I suspended my head preparing for her answer to my next question.
"Is this about Alison?"
She stayed quiet, looking away from me. And that was all the answer I needed.
"Hanna…this isn't right. She can't keep making you feel like this."
"It's not Alison," she snapped!
Hanna's POV
Caleb didn't answer my question. Instead he asked one of his own.
He could see right through me, especially as I acted like nothing was bothering me.
He walked over and sat down and I stared straight ahead not making eye contact with him.
Of course, he got it right when he guessed that my poor appearance had to do with Ali.
I didn't want to look at him. I knew how he felt about Ali and I didn't need him bashing her again. It wouldn't help.
Like I expected, he started to go on a rant about his dislike for Ali.
Then I barked at him, "It's not about Alison!" And it wasn't, to be honest; it was about all the girls and me not wanting to be around them.
"It's about all of them," I admitted finally. "Ali, Emily, Spencer, Aria. It's about all of them."
I was pretty much crying again and I couldn't make eye contact with him as I confessed my feelings.
"And you know what? It's not even entirely them. It's me. Lately I've been feeling like I used to before Ali left. And I don't like feeling that way."
Caleb's POV
She paused for a moment before she explained.
"It's about all of them," she confessed. I watched her intently waiting for her to continue.
Her eyes started watering and the tears fell from her eyes. But she wasn't looking at me. I could tell she didn't like talking about her feelings.
When she said she was the problem, I had to hear the rest of her explanation. She said she'd felt how she used to, something I'd already known. "I don't like feeling that way," she said and I wanted to help make her pain go away.
"Hanna, you're not how she made you feel. Ali and the other girls don't have any power over you."
"Yeah, well I feel powerless when Ali's around," she glanced down.
I looked down at the six pack in my lap, tore open the box, and grabbed a can.
"You don't have to feel like this if you don't want to."
Hanna's POV
He tried to make me feel better. He tried to tell me I'm not the worthless, fat, ugly, pig Ali once made me feel like. But it didn't matter. I feel how I feel and no amount of words that I now know are true will change that in one night. When I'm around Ali, I feel insecure again.
"Yeah, well I feel powerless when Ali's around," I said truthfully.
I continued to stare straight ahead, not being able to bear to look Caleb in the eyes in my moment of vulnerability.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when Caleb offered over a beer as he said,
"You don't have to feel like this if you don't want to."
I took hold of the can and stared at it for a moment before popping it open and downing a huge swig.
If I could drown out this feeling for even just a little while, it'd still be better than I'd felt in weeks.
Caleb's POV
She instantly took it while I grabbed one for myself and started to drink.
I drank away my troubles.
I wanted to write a comfort one-shot about Haleb that doesn't end with their problems being fixed, but rather forgotten with an escape of alcohol.