A Rift of the Flame, Chapter 1: Broken Spirits

Nipples, nipples everywhere. I walked through the dunes thinking to myself how, and why she let herself be defeated by the ape. As I looked up I saw the pig, and brought my mighty hammer down upon its head. However, it swallowed me in its large cavernous mouth, and swallowed me whole. My team and I fought our way through its bowels only to be shot back in time through its rectum. We witnessed the creation of the universe, it was magnificent. And on the third day God created captain crunch. And it was good.

For he who shines in the eraser shall know all but the dirt under his fingernails. But she couldn't bear to watch him as he cut through the package to open the Chair containing the demons. She hid herself, waiting, hoping her salvation would come in the form of salt cured fish. He could only accept his fate as I released the horde unto the bowl, tainting the contents with their filthy toes. She ran to his aid, abandoning all hope, to bear witness to the horrors before them as it was licked up. Only notes and misspelled characters were left to moan upon the shoelace. However, I had to continue my journey, for it was my destiny.

I was born again in the eyes of the final sleeve king. For my next amazing trick, I shall remove the back boobs of a gorilla and do a back flip underground inside of them! Rendered useless, I had no choice but to find more companions for this bizarre giraffe. To continue I must realize my true self, I took the traditional position: The Flying Penguin of Nylon Balthsar. Nobody could believe their eyes as they realized what I had accomplished.

Meanwhile, my childhood friend, Eduardo, overheard a flock of Fruit punch plotting against the forces of Fresco. My childhood friend, Ronald Didn't know what he would do, for he, St. Francisco XXII Refused to get involved in such carrot-like affairs.

I, on the other hand was on my way to the land of sand and snow. My journey led me to a nearby cottage, the Panda who lived there welcomed me and invited me in for marshmallow cheez-its with his family. The spicy morsels made their way down my fingernails, delicious. Licking up the spare drops, Snickerbob couldn't bear the wait anymore; she had to get her feet on some pocky.

I couldn't allow this; I removed my cucumber from its sheath and removed her head. Her lifeless penguin fell to the floor. The toe wasn't finished; it grew, formed, and molded, into what is today known as, "Onion". I needn't be afraid, for I know its weakness. I removed my vest from my kneecaps, reached into its pocket and pulled out a vest! I proceeded to apply the vest to my knee. Soon, I would depart; I had a long journey ahead of you.

Insert the straw into the pencil topper if you wish to continue. He wasn't discrete, for the old man had written what needed to be done, and I always ready to be ready, was ready. Not only was the journey long, but also painful, she would not accept returns, thine will face the blue balls of Satan when he can reach the height of the tallest crackerjack.

You cannot accept fate when fate leads you to a koi pond. On the other hand that of our own god of death might not be so crunchy. I continued to chew the spinach-mobile and press my toes into the marble floor as I jogged. That's when I found the rock; it tasted like that of a green pepper! At the top I saw the monk. He was very talented at playing his drum-set, so talented in fact that it created a feeling of emptiness inside to which may be defined as a vacuum. You would find a single rubber mallet in this emptiness, which would be used to beat your self back into your sanity.

It wasn't quite certain why she decided to take this path, for everyone knows that white cheddar does not mix with cola. We must rescue the golden ice cubes from the pit of anguish and belt buckles. The derpy goodness of the epic battle: Diet Squish vs. Fizzy Cola, caused hallucinations of the highest cookie.

Thou cannot be cornered from galloping grapes. The shotgun tasted like raisins, I despise walnuts. Sporty toys like tomato soup and spoons brought me across the field, where I started. Sure enough, I saw the pig once again. The carrot squealed at me, flickering its tongue with glee. Defeat was not an option anymore, they had declared war.

I readied my men for the trip; we grabbed our purses and cheetos. This will be the fight of our lives. We readied the catapult, and at the sound of the bear, we would fire. The bunny let out a loud, bellowing "MOO!" and we fired the cannon.

The cake shot into the ground. It burrowed deep and continued towards the family of mushrooms. Bursting out of the ground, it shot flames around and destroyed the Talking Tree of Gurglemesh. This is serious, were going to need the sword of nuclear warfare. I brought out my pen, and charged at the beast.

And then Aang and Katara had sex.