I Can't Do This Anymore

I quickly shook my head, hoping that my thoughts would just vanish. I just wanted so peace… for once in my freaking life. "Ugh!" I groaned and pounded my head against the table. Just then, a giggling Prim skipped into the dining room.

"Oh Katniss" she sighed and rubbed my back soothingly. "You just never seem to get a break do you?"

I shook my head, knowing that she was right. Prim, of course was right. I never did get a break. I was always running around trying to get things done. Well… that was until the games. Before the games started I was always prowling out in District 12's woods hoping to be able to bring home some form of a meal. Then I was forced into the games.

"Katniss… maybe if you take a walk… maybe you'll feel better"

"No" I groaned once again, and returned to pounding my head against the table.

"Katniss Everdeen!"

I sighed just as my mother walked into the room as well. "Will you please stop banging your head on the table." She grumbled as she walked into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. "Sorry mom!" I called towards her retreating body.

"You know what I think would be good for you?" Prim spoke up and sat down in the chair across from me.

I took a deep breath. "What Dr. Prim?"

She giggled. "I think it would be good for you and Peeta to spend some time together."

I looked down towards the table sadly. I haven't really spoken to Peeta lately. We were finally back in the "friend-zone" again but I was afraid to be around him. I was afraid that I was just going to ruin everything again. When Peeta found out that my love act in the first games was only just for sponsors… he was crushed. But what he didn't realize was that I actually did love him. Unfortunately, I didn't know it at the time… I didn't know a lot of things at the time. But then again, I was never really around Peeta much to be able to get to know him.

Prim sighed and shook her head. "I know what you're thinking Katniss… but I really do think that your two should hang out more. Do you know what I mean? What I'm trying to say is that you two really need to catch up… you've barely talked to him since the Quarter Quell."

"But Prim-"

She shifted her gaze and whispered softly, "I know you love him Katniss"

My eyes widened slightly. "How did you-"

"Who loves who?" slurred a drunk Haymitch as he came of course, stumbling into the room unable to balance himself. When he reached the table, he gripped it as if he were to let go he would end up falling into an abyss.

I jumped up. "What do you want Haymitch?" I growled. "Look dude. I'm getting tired of you barging in here without giving any notice!"

He simply shook his head. "Calm down Sweetheart. I just came by to see if you had any Whiskey."

I scrunched my eyes in confusion as I caught sight of the full bottle of alcohol he clutched in his hand.

"Haymitch! You have a full bottle right there!"

Slowly, he looked down at the bottle. "Oh" he chuckled. "Well… I'll just be on my way" He slurred and stalked off.

"Katniss" Prim said softly. "Will you just please talk to him?"

"Why Prim?" I took a deep breath. "What's the point?"

"You guys are so freaking depressing. I mean, Peeta rarely smiles anymore and all you freaking do is stare at the walls feeling sorry for yourself."

"Fine Prim." I sighed and Prim smiled. "But just answer this…"

"What?"

"How did you know that I love Peeta?"

Prim scowled. "Because I'm your sister Katniss. "I'm not that stupid… besides… it's not that hard to notice."

Once again, all I did was groan and slammed my head into the table.

"Katniss Everdeen!" my mother yelled from the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes "Sorry!" I called back. "It was an accident"

I stood up and walked over to the door, removing my father's old leather jacket from the coat rack.

"Where you going?" my mother questioned, her eyebrows raised. "I haven't seen you out of the house in a while"

I shrugged, slipping on the jacket. "I think I might stop by the bakery."

She nodded and returned her attention back to the medical concoction she was working on. "See you later."

I nodded and slipped out of the house.

I swung the bakery's glass door open and the bell above dinged. I stopped in my tracks, inhaling the strong aroma of freshly made bread. I stepped forward and stood patiently at the unoccupied counter. "I'll be there in a second!" Peeta called from the kitchen, followed by the sound of clanging metal.

"Take your time!" I replied.

"Katniss?" he called.

"The one and only"

A few seconds later, he emerged from the kitchen in his always flour covered apron. I couldn't help but notice his straining muscles under his skin tight white shirt and the way his blond hair slightly covered his eyes. His stone face suddenly broke out into an ear to ear grin. "Katniss… I… I haven't seen you in a while."

I smiled in return and leaned down to gaze into the glass display cases, eying the fresh cheese buns standing proudly. I liked my lips and returned my gaze back towards the handsome Peeta.

"Of course you're eyeing the cheese buns."

I grinned. "How much for all of the cheese buns there?" I asked and pointed to the fresh buns.

He smirked. "Not a freaking thing."

I groaned and banged my head against the counter.

"Katniss Everdeen!"

My head shot up. "What are you… my mother?"

"No… but I don't need your blood on my freshly washed counter Katniss."

"Look… will you just tell me the price so I can lock myself back up in my house and eat these buns?"

He chuckled. "Like I said before… you don't need to pay anything. They're yours… take them"

I scowled and slammed about twenty coins down onto the counter. Peeta frowned. "Katniss… I don't want your money… please… just take the bread... I have crap to do."

For some reason I suddenly got defense. "What are you going to do Peeta? Let me guess… you're going to make out with your girlfriend!"

"Katniss no…"

"You're going to go get drunk aren't you?"

"Katniss" Peeta replied sternly.

My eyes began to water. "You're just going to leave me… aren't you?"

Peeta jumped over the counter and stood in front of me. His eyes searched my face, looking for some form of emotion. "Katniss…" he whispered. "Katniss… no… I would never do that"

I simply shook my head. "Peeta… please just tell me one thing."

He wiped my tears away with the pad of his thumb. "Anything"

"You love me… real or not real?"

"God Katniss… that is the cheesiest line ever."

I snorted. "Just answer the question Peeta."

Peeta scrunched his eyebrows together. "Do I even need to answer that question Katniss?"

Of course, that answer triggered the next wave of tears.

Peeta groaned and pulled me into a tight embrace. "Will you please crying?" he begged.

"So you don't…"

"Katniss!" he exclaimed. "I've said it tons of times… even on national television… of course I love you. But it hurts me knowing that you don't feel the same" he frowned.

I sighed. He still didn't know… he still didn't know that I too felt the same way. Just then, the bell dinged. I turned my head to lock eyes with the just entering customer. Of course, there stood Delly smirking possessively in her skin tight showy dress. She glanced at me, giving me the annoying once over and turned to look at Peeta once more. "Hey there babe" she giggled, walking forward and clutched his arm. I backed away from Peeta cautiously as the tears started to form yet again. "Ready for our date... Honey Bunny?" she trilled, licking her lips suggestively.

The pain I was experiencing was too much. I shoved past a cackling Delly and burst through the door and out into the streets. My feet pounded against the worn pavement, and not only seconds later I heard the bakery doors swing open. I ignored it and focused on escaping. "Katniss!" Peeta yelled behind me. "Katniss wait up!"

I ignored him and pushed myself to run farther. "Please Katniss!" he begged.

After a few seconds of running, Peeta's arm shot out and grabbed my wrist. My body came to a stop and with my face fuming with anger I turned to face him. "Katniss… just let me explain." He begged.

My burst into tears again and refused to look him in the eye. Lightning cracked in the distance and suddenly it poured down rain. Heavy sheets of rain slammed onto the pavement as Peeta and I stood there in the middle of the street, panting wildly. "Katniss…"

"No Peeta!" I shouted, cutting him off. I ripped my arms out of his grip and backed away.

"Please Katniss!" he cried.

"No Peeta!" I screamed. "I can't do this anymore!"

He stepped forward towards me, and I took a step back. "You can't do what anymore Katniss?"

"This! I can't do this Peeta. I can't walk by knowing that your amazing smile is for her" I sneered. "I can't look at you, knowing that it's her and not me that you love. You lied to me Peeta!"

"No… Katniss-"

"You told me that you loved me! But… but it's her that you love."

"Katniss… we both know that's not true!"

"No Peeta… it is true! If you loved me… then it should be me that you're taking out on a date… not her"

Peeta sighed. "See Katniss… I don't get why you're getting all worked up and jealous… you're the one who doesn't love me!" He cried as tears poured down his face.

"See Peeta…" I said softly as lightning cracked. "That's where you're wrong."

He froze. "W-What?"

I turned around to walk away, but Peeta grabbed my arm. "Look Peeta..." I hissed. "Like I said… I can't do this anymore."

"Katniss" he whispered. "What do you mean that's where I'm wrong?

I broke away from his grip once again and ran off into the rain.

"Katniss!" He yelled after me.

I turned around to face him yet again. "God dammit Peeta!" I screamed. "I love you!"

AN: Sorry for any errors. This was supposed to be a one shot but I can make it longer if you guys want. Please review or whatever.

Thanks guys

-Books