A/N: FYI, I'm not dead, lol. This story idea comes from Jenny wrens. She asked for a follow-up to Moments featuring Kristin and Nathan, and I couldn't deny her. However, this story can also stand on its own. I hope you like it.

Music is always my inspiration, so I went a little crazy on the accompanying fanvids for this one. I made three, all with different songs, that have had some influence for this story because they help me plot. You can find them here: www . youtube .com (forward slash) watch?v=Q0QrWn4UyfM, www .youtube .com (forward slash) watch?v=1030BBUw5Fg, and www. youtube. com (forward slash) watch?v=48ei0L1veV8 . Be sure to eliminate spaces and add the proper punctuation. Thank you.

Disclaimer: SeaQuest DSV and its characters are not my creation. They are the creation of Rockne S. O'Bannon as a 1990's television series. This work of fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only and is not for financial gain. I am just borrowing the characters for a bit and promise to return them unharmed and in their original condition, maybe just a bit happier.

Chapter 1

seaQuest

Though it had been a little surprising that Nathan suggested they go on a spur-of-the-moment weekend getaway on Bridger Island, Kristin had embraced the idea. That was until she found herself standing in the middle of her quarters trying to decide what to pack. This wasn't just any weekend getaway. This could possibly be the weekend getaway, and she wanted everything to be just right.

The only problem was she wasn't exactly sure what to pack. She blushed hotly as she thought of the lacy blue negligee stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer. She didn't even know why she'd brought it with her to the seaQuest, since she hadn't touched it once since she'd been on board, but in retrospect, it seemed rather lucky she had it now. Then again, maybe it wasn't the right time to take it from its hiding place.

In fact, the more and more she thought about it, the more she realized there was so much she and Nathan hadn't discussed, and she began to doubt if they were truly ready to make that extra step together. Love wasn't the issue; she knew she loved Nathan with all her heart, and she was ready to give herself to him, but what about protection?

She was so out of practice; it had been six years since she'd been in a committed relationship with anyone, and it seemed like a lifetime ago now. Seeing as she was Nathan's doctor, sexually transmitted diseases weren't a concern; she knew he was clean, and so was she. However, she hadn't exactly planned to fall in love with anyone during her time on the seaQuest, so contraception had been the furthest thing from her mind...and it was a little late to be asking Joshua to write her a prescription for birth control. Not only that, there would be all sorts of questions, and she wasn't ready to answer them. Just because she was a medical doctor didn't mean there weren't some things she was a bit embarrassed about...and it was doubly so when it came to her own body.

She shook her head. Nathan did say we didn't need to do anything at all. I suppose I could just say I'm not ready after all. He wouldn't push me.

"Are you crazy?" her heart said. "You know you're ready. Don't let fear stand in the way."

Kristin sighed, knowing her heart was right. Besides, if there was one thing her accident had taught her, it was to show those she cared about how much they meant to her. In this case, she was ready to show Nathan how much he meant to her. And if she didn't do it now, she didn't know when the opportunity would strike again. As for the little matter of protection... She bit her lip; she certainly couldn't expect Nathan to handle it all, and she didn't want to be caught off guard without it, in case.

After a few moments of thought, she suddenly snapped her fingers. That's it! She kept a jar of condoms in her office to hand out to crewmen who were seemingly unprepared in the heat of the moment. All she had to do was grab some from her office. Piece of cake, she thought with a nod.

Kristin hurried out her door when she nearly collided with Katie.

"Whoa, sorry, Doc. Are you all right?" Katie asked.

"Y-yes, everything's fine, dear. I'm the one who should be sorry; I wasn't looking where I was going. I just forgot something in my office, you see, and I-"

"Oh, that's right. You and the captain are taking that romantic getaway weekend," she said with a wink, giving Kristin's arm a playful push. "You'd better hurry; you don't want to be late. I want details when you get back, though."

Kristin's cheeks were on fire. "Of...of course," she replied as quickly as she could, giving her a wave, and making her way to the mag-lev. Carol had said they should give the crew something to talk about it, and it was apparent they were indeed talking.

"Well, at least after this weekend, it will be true," her heart reminded her.

"No comments from the peanut gallery," the older woman muttered under her breath. "Besides, it's not a guarantee."

"Mmm-hmm. Why are you going to your office again then?"

"Well, be-because... I want to be prepared, just in case, and I really shouldn't have to justify it, should I?" She then gave a disgusted groan. "Get a grip on yourself, Kristin. Talking to yourself isn't helping you any." She took several keep breaths to clear her head, and a few minutes later, she arrived in medbay. She stepped through the mag-lev door and entered the science labs.

Joshua's brow furrowed. "I wasn't expecting to see you here." He glanced towards the clock. "I figured this place would be a distant memory by now."

Oh, no, not again. She stifled a sigh and plastered a smile on her face. "Soon," she replied, nodding her head towards her office. "I just forgot something." She glanced around. "You're doing all right by yourself?"

He waved a hand. "Of course, don't worry about a thing. You just focus on having fun. This is your first time away from here since..."

As he trailed off, she nodded and turned towards her office. "I promise." She hurried inside, shut the door behind her, and locked it. No way did she want anyone else sneaking up on her. She leaned her back against the door, looking towards the jar sitting on the back counter. "Well, it's now or never." She walked towards it, pulled off the lid, and grabbed a handful of the colorful objects, stuffing them deep into her pockets to ensure none of them made an impromptu escape on her way back to her quarters.

Once she was positive they were secure, she opened her door and decided to leave medbay through the back way. It was a bit longer, but she didn't want to risk seeing Joshua, Katie, or anyone else. She just wanted to get back to her room as quickly as possible and finish packing. Because of her chosen departure, it also meant she'd have to forgo the mag-lev, but that was a risk she was willing to take. Besides, it was dinnertime, so most of the crew would be in the mess anyway...or at least she hoped.

As soon as she entered the corridor, she guessed her theory had been correct, since the halls were seemingly empty now. Thank goodness!

Her heart did a leap of joy as she turned the corner; she knew she was home free.

"Hey, Doc!" she heard Lucas call from behind her, a hand clamping down on her shoulder.

She groaned inwardly. Oh, no. Why Lucas, of all people? She shut her eyes tightly and swallowed hard before turning around to face him. "L-Lucas, what a surprise."

He flashed her his usual grin and shrugged. "I'm glad I caught you. I was worried you might have left already."

"Not yet. I was just about to finish packing, you see."

"I promise this won't take long. Um, I could help you if you'd like?"

"No!" Then upon realizing how harsh she sounded, she softened. "Um, I-I mean, no...that's not necessary. It's just... Well, I'll be packing girl things...make-up, perfume... I don't think you'd be too interested in that, would you?"

"I guess not," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets and staring at the floor.

She placed a gentle hand on his arm. "Just spit it out. We're alone here anyway."

He looked around and gave a nod. "I just wanted to let you know I'm not angry with you." He looked at the floor again, his cheeks turning pink. "The captain... He and I had a talk, and I... I'm cool with whatever you two do when you're alone. I just wanted to let you know I might be a teenager, but I'm not an idiot. I do know what adults do, and I don't want you to feel embarrassed about it or anything."

"I...I really appreciate your maturity, Lucas, but I... I don't even know... The captain and I might not..."

He held up a hand. "The captain told me all that, too, and it's okay. I understand. I just didn't want to be part of the reason you might not. I don't want to stand in the way of anything."

Kristin didn't know what to say or do; the only thing she could think of was to pull him into her arms and hug him tightly. "I really can't thank you enough for the support," she whispered softly, kissing his cheek.

"It's nothing, really," he told her, returning the hug before gently pulling away. "But, uh, I really should let you get back to packing. I hope you have a very happy and safe weekend. Just...make sure you come back to us, huh?"

She smiled softly. "Trust me, I will do everything in my power to make sure that happens...and I'll be in good hands."

"Yeah, I know you will. Well, see you on Sunday."

"Sunday," she said with a wave before turning back towards her cabin door and disappearing inside. "Well, that wasn't as awkward as I might have expected it to be."

"No, but you'd better hurry. Nathan will be here shortly."

"Right," she said with a nod, vowing to stop having conversations with herself. She emptied her pockets into her bag and started towards her dresser when a knock at the door startled her, a soft cry escaping her lips. "Just...just a moment," she called, quickly shutting the lid of her suitcase so her visitor didn't happen to see what was inside before moving to open the door and to find it was Nathan. "Oh, it's you."

Nathan laughed. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"With the afternoon I've had, I wasn't sure," she replied, moving aside to let him pass. "It's just been one of those days where everyone comes calling, so to speak."

"Ah, I see," he said with a nod. "Well, I was wondering if you were about ready?"

She bit her bottom lip. "Not really. Is that a problem? I've had a little trouble, and then I realized I'd forgotten something and had to run back to my office, and people kept stopping me, and-"

He placed a hand on her arm. "Kristin, it's all right, really. We're not a time crunch here. Why don't you let me help you, and we'll have you ready in no time?"

Before Kristin could answer, he moved towards her bag and opened the lid. "No, don't!" But it was too late. She watched as Nathan looked inside and although she was absolutely mortified, she knew she had to explain. "Nathan, I... You see, I..."

Only Nathan started laughing. "You packed the essentials, I see."

She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away from him. "I'm glad you find it amusing. We hadn't exactly discussed it, and I thought... Well, I thought I should be prepared..."

"I'm not laughing at you," he said, coming up behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I, uh...packed a few of my own. With the way I've preached to Lucas about that sort of thing, I would never go into such a situation blindly. Anyway, I guess I was laughing at the fact you packed a lot more than I did. You might just be overestimating my abilities a bit."

She blushed. "I didn't even pay attention to how many... And I didn't even think..." She sighed, turning to him and leaning her head against his chest. "It's been a long time since... And birth control was never much of a concern, obviously. If we do end up doing other things in the bedroom besides sleeping, I just don't want us doing anything we'd regret later."

He put his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "Oh, Kris, I understand. You don't need to explain it." He paused. "Wait? A long time? I thought you'd said you've had other relationships..."

"I have, but it's been several years since I've had one of those relationships." She shrugged. "I hope that doesn't scare you."

"Not at all," he replied, tightening his hold on her. "But you said we were going to play it by ear. I don't want you putting pressure on yourself, and remember I said I'm perfectly fine if we don't. I don't expect anything more, you know."

She gave him a small smile as she lifted her head and kissed him gently. "I know...and you're right. We'll play it by ear. If the time is right, we'll know." She broke the embrace and turned back to her suitcase. "Um, well, I guess I better figure out what else I need."

Nathan nodded. "Do you want me to help?"

"How about you help by keeping me company?" she suggested, nodding her head towards the table and chairs. "You sit and relax while I finish up. I won't be long, I promise."

"All right," he said with a shrug as he took a seat. "Well, I had a nice little talk with Lucas, and I'll have you know he's perfectly fine with the situation."

She stopped rifling through her closet for a moment. "Yes, I know, actually. I ran into him on the way back from my office. Though it was brief, he and I had a rather enlightening conversation. He's more mature than we give him credit for sometimes." She shrugged as she draped a few shirts and a skirt over her arm and walked to her bunk so she could fold them. "You were right; I shouldn't have been so worried."

"Well, while I'm disappointed I didn't get to tell you first, I'm glad you're feeling better where he's concerned. And I won't say I told you so." He paused. "In that case, how about we talk about the plans for the weekend?"

She stopped folding and turned to him. "I thought we were playing it by ear?"

"Well, I didn't plan it minute by minute, but I did have a few ideas in mind. Do you want to hear them?"

She smiled. "Of course."

-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-

Bridger Island

Two hours later, Nathan pulled the launch onto the sandy shores of his island. He opened the hatch, stepped outside, and turned to offer Kristin a hand. "Well, we arrived safe and sound."

"So we have," she replied, allowing him to help her before turning to walk towards the beach.

Nathan frowned slightly as he watched her walk along the shore. Kristin had barely said two words to him since they'd left the seaQuest, and he wasn't sure why. When he'd asked her about it, she assured him that she was fine, and he didn't want to push her. But something told him she wasn't 'fine' after all. He wished she'd talk to him, but then he figured they had all weekend to do that. She'd open up to him when she was ready...wouldn't she?

He shook his head in an effort to clear the concern from his mind. Of course she would. He knew she was a somewhat private person; he'd known that from the moment he'd he'd met her, but after they'd decided to start dating, he quickly learned how she worked: she took time to think something over before talking. By this evening, he was sure she'd be telling him everything. She'd seemed excited when he told her about the moonlight dinner he'd had planned for them. He then smiled softy as he patted his pocket; he had something else planned as well.

Sometimes, he worried she doubted his affections. She'd been so hurt in her past by others who were careless with her heart, and though she'd told him bits and pieces, he knew she hadn't told him everything. She never voiced anything to him directly, but every once in a while, he noticed a flash of uncertainty in her eyes. He was hoping to finally squash that. His heart was hers, and though he'd said it, he felt it was time to prove it.

After watching her for a bit longer, he called to her, "I'm just going to put the bags in the house."

"I'll be in in a minute," she called back to him before turning away from him once again.

He watched her for a bit longer and then walked inside, setting the bags down at the base of the stairs for the time being and moving to open the curtains to let the light in. Ironically, for all the times Kristin had visited the island, she'd never seen the inside of the house. Well, at least she never mentioned if Carol had given her the grand tour, but he didn't think so. And when they'd done their simulation mission, there really wasn't time to take her inside and show her around.

As he was just finishing the last window in the kitchen, he heard the front door shut. "I'll be right out," he said.

"All...all right," she replied.

When he walked back into the entryway, he eyed her carefully. "I wasn't sure if you were ever going to join me."

Her cheeks turned pink. "Sorry." She turned and motioned towards the beach. "I was just reminiscing. It's funny how one little place can mean so much to a person, and after everything..."

He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I understand it, really. You sure you're all right, though?"

She nodded and kissed his cheek. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine, really." She looked around. "It's not quite what I expected."

A brow rose. "Is that good or bad?"

"Oh, it's definitely good. I suppose I was just expecting something more minimalist."

He smiled, looking around at the decorations still hung on the walls with a nautical theme. "Well, if I'd been the one decorating, maybe, but it was Carol's doing, and I never... I didn't have the heart to... It was something she did for me anyway. If not for me, she'd have gone with flowers. She loved sunflowers. You'll see that when you look at the kitchen." He offered his arm. "Would you like the grand tour?"

"Yes, please," she replied, taking his arm and allowing him to show her around.

-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-

"...and this is the bedroom," he said, leading her inside. "Um, if you don't... There is a guest bedroom if you'd prefer..."

She gently patted his arm. "It's fine. We've slept in the same bed before. Even if we don't do anything more than sleeping, there's no reason why we can't share a room."

"As long as you're sure," he replied. "Um, well, I guess I'll go start dinner. I'll let you get settled in, and you can come find me when you're ready?"

"Actually, would you mind if I took a little nap? Since I didn't sleep very well last night, I'm a little tired."

"Oh, of course. Make yourself at home, Kris." He kissed her forehead softly. "Sweet dreams."

"See you later," she replied as he shut the door behind him.

Once alone, she slumped down onto the bed. She felt a little guilty for leaving Nathan to do all the work, but the truth was she really was tired...and her feelings of apprehension about the weekend had begun to creep up again.

"Oh, would you knock it off?" her heart said. "You've just got cold feet. Once that burning desire is sparked, you'll warm up fast."

She sighed. "I'm trying; I really am. It's just..." She couldn't say it, though. She knew what the problem was, but admitting it to herself meant admitting disaster could strike at any moment...and she didn't want to think about it. "I don't want to ruin what Nathan and I already have, and you know it."

"He's not like the others, you know."

"He's not?" She paused. Nathan certainly seemed different. As a friend, he was the best one she had these days. And as a partner, he definitely had potential...but she'd seen that pattern before. Things had always started out hot and heavy in the beginning, but once she'd given her heart to them, they'd always broken it. From prior experience, she'd learned it tended to happen after sex got into the mix. In her heart, she knew Nathan wasn't as petty and frivolous as the other men she'd dated in the past, but she was so afraid of losing what they had now...

"You know he's not. Stop thinking otherwise. You haven't even given him a chance."

She bit her bottom lip. She really wasn't being very fair to Nathan, was she? Then she thought better of it, however. "I gave all the others a chance, too, and look where that got us? I'm not sure we could handle any more pain."

"But-"

A knock at the door caused her to jump. A second later, Nathan poked his head in. "Sorry, I just wanted to bring up up an extra blanket in case you got cold." He stepped inside and handed it to her.

"Thank you; that was sweet of you," she replied quietly, lowering her gaze to the floor and trying to ignore Nathan's scrutinizing gaze.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Kris, are you sure you're okay?"

She shrugged him away. "Of course, Nathan, I'm fine. Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Because you're not acting like everything's fine." He crossed his arms over his chest. "You seemed okay before we left the seaQuest, but now you're quiet, withdrawn... You're like a completely different person." He sighed. "I just have a feeling there's something you're not telling me. Is there something you're not telling me, Kris? If there's a problem, let me help you, please."

She gave a light laugh and stood, placing a hand on his arm. "Have I ever told you how cute you are when you're worried?"

He softened and flashed her a boyish grin. "Once or twice, yes."

"Nathan, I'm just tired. That's all. I'm sure after my nap, I'll feel much better." She kissed him softly. "I am so lucky to have you worrying about me, but there's no need. I'm fine."

He stared at her for several seconds before nodding. "All right. I'm sorry. I just... After everything..."

She placed a hand on his cheek. "I know, darling. You don't need to explain. If the tables were turned, I'd do the same thing."

"Yeah... Well, I better get back to making dinner and let you get some sleep. It should be ready in an hour and a half."

"Will you wake me in an hour then, please? I want to dress up a bit."

A brow rose. "Kristin, you don't need... You look beautiful no matter what you wear, and it's just us."

"You only say that because you're prejudiced. And I want to. I might wear jeans and T-shirts, but I do enjoy wearing something a bit more formal on occasion. I just don't get to very often."

He nodded. "Fine, whatever you want. Sleep well. See you soon."

"See you soon," she replied as he left the room once again.

"You are so devious," he heart pointed out. "How can you say you love him and then lie like that to him?"

"It...it wasn't a lie exactly. I'm sure I will feel better after some rest...and you know full well I love him. I just...don't want to ruin the weekend."

"So you're not going to end up sleeping with him after all?"

"I...I don't know yet. I'd like to sleep on it, no pun intended."

Her heart sighed. "All right, you win. You'd better hope that nap does you wonders."

"It will." Only she knew that she was lying to herself as well. She needed a miracle, and no amount of sleep was going to make that happen. She lay down on the bed and covered herself with the blanket Nathan had brought her. Please, help me figure things out, she thought, a silent plea to the universe, and it wasn't long before she fell asleep.

-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-

"No, Nathan, don't stop. Oh...oh, please."

Kristin tossed and turned in the bed, but she wasn't having a nightmare; quite the opposite.

"Oh...mmm." Her eyes suddenly fluttered open, the blood rushing to her cheeks when she realized what an intense dream she'd been having and what it was really about. "Oh..." she muttered, pushing herself up and running a hand through her mussed hair.

"Feeling any better?"

"I...I don't..." She paused. "You didn't have anything to do with that dream, did you?"

"Little old me? Do you really think I'd do that to us?"

"I know you would." She sighed. "God, Kristin, I thought you'd said you were going to stop talking to yourself." She shook her head. "Well, I'm not doing a very good job of that, am I?"

"Not really," her heart replied.

"I didn't ask you."

"No, but you never answered my question. Are you feeling better?"

"I'm more confused than ever, to be honest. That dream didn't make things clearer at all."

"Just give into me, Kristin. You know you want to. Throw caution to the wind and trust me. What have you got to lose? You said it yourself if there's one thing your accident taught us, it's to tell those we care about what they mean to us. You're not following that advice, now are you?"

Kristin sighed. "You know what we've got to lose, and I...I'm not sure we could take it."

"But isn't it better to have loved than to have never-"

A knock at the door interrupted the argument with herself. "Kristin?" Nathan called softly, stepping inside. "Oh, you're awake."

"Yes, I just woke up a few minutes ago," she told him, pushing herself out of bed. "I feel much better now, thank you."

"You're very welcome, and I'm glad to hear it." His brow furrowed, however. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Were you talking to someone before I came in? I thought I heard your voice."

A rush of heat rose to her face. "Oh, that... Um, well, I was...talking to myself. I do that sometimes, I guess, and..."

He waved a hand. "You're not the only one. Did you give yourself all the right answers?" he asked with a wink.

"Um, I hope so," she replied, forcing a smile.

He laughed. "Well, dinner will be ready soon. You'll have plenty of time to dress up like you wanted."

She nodded. "Thank you. I'll be down in a little while."

"I can't wait," he told her.