We Are Love
"Like the earth and ocean
We're the same devotion.
You and me,
We are love…."
"We Are Love" ~~ Il Volo
"OK, kids. Have we finally made a decision?" Sami wearily waited for her three youngest children to look over their choices of Valentine's Day cards and agree. They had already been to three different stores, thoroughly browsing all the choices available, and she finally had enough. This was the last store, and they were sternly instructed that they had to choose from this selection. If they wanted something they thought they had seen earlier, too bad.
Sami felt a little bad that she was being so grumpy. Yes, taking three kids from store to store, listening to constant chatter and breaking up little fights all afternoon was wearing on any mother, but she usually was able to deal with it much better. It wasn't really the kids' fault that she was short on patience today. It was because of the constant reminder of the upcoming holiday that was around every corner, the constant reminder that everyone in the world was in love except her.
She had begun to hate Valentine's Day.
"Yeah, I think we're ready," Johnny spoke for himself and his sisters. He held up his box of cards for his mother's inspection. "I think the guys will like these Pokémon ones best."
"Good choice," Sami agreed. "But, that box isn't enough for everyone. You need to pick out another one."
"Yes it is," Johnny said with an emphatic nod of his head. "There's Danny and Eric and Jacob and Aiden—". Sami stifled a groan and refrained from interrupting as Johnny named every single boy in his class at school. "So see? That's only ten, and there are twelve in here," he finished.
"But you didn't get enough for the girls. You have to give cards to the girls, too," Sami reminded him. Her sour mood was momentarily forgotten, and she chuckled lightly as a look of pure horror covered Johnny's face.
"Girls?" he exclaimed. "I can't give cards to girls! They might think I like them, and they're stupid anyway!"
"No we aren't, Johnny! You take that back!" Ali snapped at her twin. "We're just as smart as the boys. And besides, some boys are stupid, too!"
"OK. You and Sydney aren't, but the rest of them are." Johnny refused to change his mind completely.
"Stop it, you guys," Sami began firmly, but was interrupted by a familiar voice approaching from behind.
"Now, Johnny, that isn't a very nice thing to say, is it?"
"Daddy!" Sydney practically jumped into her father's arms, and Sami felt a little pang for her. Sydney was a Daddy's girl to the core, and even though EJ was very active in his children's lives, he didn't see them every day, and it was like the little girl couldn't see him enough.
"Hello, love," EJ responded warmly with a kiss for his young daughter before he turned back to his son, stooping down to his level for serious eye contact. "I know you might not like to play with girls much and might not have much in common with them right now, but is it nice to call them names?"
Johnny's fierce frown told everyone that he didn't want to have to give in, but with the look on his father's face, he knew better than to protest anymore. "No. You said we should never call people names," he said.
"Good boy. Now, your mother is right; it is only fair that you give the girls cards as well as the boys so they don't feel left out, so go pick out another box like she asked you to."
"OK. They don't have to be girly, do they?"
EJ laughed. "No. I think they will be just as happy with…what are these? Pokémon… ones you've already chosen."
"Good. Ali might not care if Jacob knows she likes him, but I don't want the girls thinking I like one of them." Johnny called over his shoulder as he went to get the correct box.
"Johnny!" Ali gasped, her face flushing pink under the sudden scrutiny of her mother and step-father (which EJ was in every sense that mattered to the child). "Wh—ah—I—I…hurry up! We have to go!" she finally spit out, turning on her heel and stomping off toward the checkout lanes.
There was a flurry of activity as Johnny rushed to catch up with his twin, insistently wondering what he had said wrong, and Sydney quickly followed suit, leaving EJ free to ask, "Jacob…do we know Jacob?"
Sami nodded. "If I remember correctly, Jacob is the one that teases all the girls at recess and is usually getting sent to the principal's office over one prank or another…EJ, no! Don't even say it!" she finished warningly, having taken notice of the amused expression filling the man's eyes. Of course, being the wonderfully accommodating person that he was, EJ spoke as if Sami hadn't said a word.
"So Ali is drawn to the bad boy? I wonder where she gets that. I couldn't begin to imagine." His voice was innocent to the extreme.
"Shut up," Sami muttered, but she wasn't really mad, and even she had to laugh at herself before she shook her head. It was true; Ali was her daughter through and through, and it scared her to death sometimes. "Heaven help us all."
EJ draped his arm around her shoulders, and they headed off to catch up with their children. "Oh, come now. I don't think it's as bad as all that. I, for one, think it's wonderful that Ali takes after you. I would, however, love to be a fly on the wall when Lucas gets wind of this little crush..."
It was the end of that same day, and as EJ walked into the mansion for the night, he sighed tiredly but was well pleased with how things had gone. An extremely productive day at the office always put him in a good mood, and unexpectedly seeing Samantha and his children only added to it.
He took off his coat, dropping it and his briefcase on the nearest chair and then poured himself a drink at the drink cart. He laughed to himself thinking of the antics of Johnny, Sydney and Ali. They were so full of energy and zest for life; he couldn't imagine his life without them, and he regretted profoundly that they weren't with him every minute of every day.
Of course, the reason that he didn't have his children to greet him when he got home at night was his biggest regret of all. Settling on the couch and using the remote to turn on the TV, a small frown darkened his brow as he thought of Samantha. She had looked a little frazzled when he walked upon them in the store—which was understandable considering how busy she was. What with her position at Countess W, basically being a single mother (as active a part as he and Lucas took with the children, the buck stopped with her most nights), unexpectedly finding out that her oldest son, Will, was going to make her a grandmother…a lesser woman would have folded under the pressure already.
But EJ didn't think that being stretched thin was her only issue. There had been a look in her eyes…weariness, a look of defeat…that didn't have anything to do with her children or her job; of this he was quite sure. He felt it in that place in his heart that everything Samantha was kept. In that place that only she had managed to touch which allowed him to read her so easily.
Suddenly, a scrolling news report on the bottom of the TV screen caught his attention. Salem Police Department detective and former FBI agent, Rafael Hernandez, arrested for the murder of his fiancée, Emily Hudson, in 2008. Additional charges pending.
What in the bloody world?! EJ was sure his eyes were playing tricks on him. Upstanding, do-gooder, Rafe, a murderer? How had he missed this?
"Samantha!" The name was out of his mouth without his even realizing he said it out loud, and he was out of the door and running to his car just as fast. He was halfway to her apartment before he calmed down. The report said that Rafe had been arrested. It wasn't likely that he was going to get out on bail tonight, never mind anywhere near Samantha or the children. They would be safe.
It will still be nice to surprise them, though, he thought with a smile, and the rest of the trip was made anticipating the evening with them all.
OK, Sami. Another hour or two, the kids will be down for the count, and you can relax. Sami gave herself a little pep-talk while she started clearing away the remains of their dinner. "Hey, guys?" she called. "Come put your dishes in the dishwasher, and then you can start making the boxes for your valentines for school." A messy art project wasn't something she was looking forward to tonight, but there really wasn't a good time for it this week, so they might as well get it over with.
"I'm not done with my milk, Mommy," Sydney piped up.
"That's OK; you can finish it later. Just bring me your other dishes," Sami instructed as a news alert beeped on her phone. Reading it, she shook her head and threw her phone aside in disgust. More about Rafe. The news about him had been steady all day and was serving as another reason she was feeling especially hostile about this holiday. Maybe a messy art project was exactly what she needed to get her mind off of everything.
Soon, Sami and the kids were elbow deep in a pile of construction paper, glue and glitter with markers and crayons scattered across the dining room table, but things weren't going quite as smoothly as she had hoped. Between Sydney and Ali both deciding they needed to use the same colored marker at the exact same time, Johnny telling everyone that they better not get any glitter on any of his things and constant arguing over whose turn it was to use the scissors, she was about to call a halt to the project all together when Sydney bumped her glass, and milk spilled everywhere.
"Sydney!" Johnny wailed! "Look what you did!" he exclaimed, his box taking on the worst of the damage.
"It was an accident, Johnny. Don't yell at her like that," Sami scolded, rushing to save as many art supplies as she could and mop up the spreading white flood at the same time. "Sydney, please stop crying," she added. "It's not going to hurt you."
"But, I'm wet! I'm wet!" the little girl cried over and over again.
"I know, baby girl. Go change into your pajamas, and you'll be dry—"
Knock, knock, knock.
"I'll get it, Mom!" Ali yelled, knocking over a tube of glitter in her haste to answer the door.
"Ali! Wait don't—"
"Who is it?" Ali called through the door, not hearing her mother at all.
"It's EJ, darling."
Sami closed her eyes in relief. She didn't know or care why EJ was standing at her doorstep; she was just glad that he was. He would be a helping hand without her even having to ask. And indeed, EJ stepped inside, surveying the chaos quickly and offering help before the door was even closed behind him.
"It's OK, Samantha. I'll finish cleaning up here if you want to take care of Sydney."
"Thank you," she mouthed, picking up their still hiccupping daughter and carrying her into her bedroom. "Let's get you cleaned up, love," she soothed. She could hear EJ issuing instructions to the twins and laughing with them as she left, and she smiled. She was so thankful that EJ wasn't one of those divorced fathers who didn't really know how to interact with their children outside of planning a big outing every other weekend-or worse, was finding excuses not to see their children when it was their turn to have them.
She finished getting Sydney cleaned up, decided the little girl had enough for one day and settled her into bed, but not before she promised her half a dozen times that EJ would come in to read her a bedtime story.
She shut the bedroom door quietly behind her and was about to go back into the living room, when she realized that EJ had had the same idea about Johnny and Ali and was already busy seeing them through their bedtime routines. And, she noticed with some surprise, a very interesting conversation was taking place.
"So, Ali? Who is this Jacob fellow Johnny was talking about earlier?"
"He's her boyfriend," Johnny piped up, some disgust in his voice. "Blech."
"Now, Johnny, be nice to your sister, and don't tease. I'm sure that hurts her feelings very much."
Johnny was contrite. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Ali. I just think it's kind of gross."
"It's OK," Ali forgave him. "And it's just Jacob. He's not gross."
"Really?" EJ asked. "Why not?"
"I don't know." Ali paused. "I guess sometimes he is mean to the other girls, but never to me. He always picks me first for teams in gym class," she said shyly. "And I know that Miss Kerber doesn't like his jokes, but I think they're kind of funny."
"I see." EJ's voice was knowing, and Sami rolled her eyes, knowing that he was thinking about her and getting a huge kick out of this. "Well, you make sure you stay out of trouble no matter what Jacob does, understand?" he asked calmly.
Ali must've nodded her assent, because he addressed himself to Johnny next. "And you, young man, might not like girls now, but you probably will someday. I used to feel exactly like you, and now I love your sisters and your mother very much. And as you know, they are definitely girls." EJ teased.
Johnny didn't answer right away, but Sami could hear the pause in his voice. "Daddy? If you love Mommy, how come we don't live together anymore?" he finally asked.
Sami caught her breath. Sometimes, her kids still surprised her. They seemed so well adjusted; she took for granted that they didn't have any questions about things. EJ must have been taken off guard as well, because it took a few moments before he answered.
"When you are an adult, Johnny, we will find that love is sometimes a funny thing. "It can be very fragile, and if you don't take care of it properly, it runs away and hides. Sometimes, it takes a little while to find it again. Daddy and Mommy didn't always take care of our love very well, so we decided it was better to live apart."
"Are you ever going to take care of it very well?" Johnny asked innocently. "And if you do, can we be a family again?"
"Johnny, your mommy and I love you and Ali and Sydney very much, and we will always be a family even if we never live in the same house. You know that, right? We will always love all of you no matter what. Parents always—always—love their children. No matter where we live," he repeated, "we will always be a family."
"Promise?" Ali asked quietly.
"I promise," EJ answered, his voice leaving no room for doubt. I will always love you all. I will always love your mother, and we will always be in each other's lives no matter where life takes us. We can never be parted because we are family."
Sami's heart ached as she listened to EJ's speech. It was so sweet and obviously heartfelt. Sometimes she forgot that he could be so incredibly charming, open and vulnerable. She forgot how much that side of him affected her, how much it drew her to him.
It especially warmed her heart how much he loved Ali. Lucas was good to Johnny and Sydney. He did his share and did his best not to leave them out of anything, but he treated them more like they were Ali's best friends than her siblings. He didn't love them like EJ loved Ali. She wasn't his daughter, but she might as well have been for all the adoration he had for her, and Sami knew that Ali loved him just as much.
Sami tip-toed away, going back to the kitchen without relaying Sydney's message. She didn't have to. She knew EJ would leave the twins and go directly to check on the little girl, and Sami knew she wouldn't be asleep. If EJ was in the house, she never slept until he had given her a proper goodnight. The twins wouldn't be asleep for a little while even though they were in their rooms for the night. She would say goodnight to them later.
In the kitchen, she found that there was nothing left to clean up, so after a few minor touches around the room, she took two wine glasses from the cupboard, an unopened bottle of wine from the fridge, and made herself comfortable on the sofa while she poured herself a glass. She took a long sip and let her eyes close, resting her head back against the back of the couch. Ahhh…this…is perfect. After the day she'd had, relaxing over a drink with EJ would be exactly what she needed. She hoped he wasn't planning to rush off now that the kids were in bed.
"Well, don't you look as relaxed as a cat?" Sami smiled at EJ's words and felt the couch dip under his weight. Then she listened to the sound of the wine hitting his own glass while he poured it. It was oddly comforting, such a normal thing in a life full of abnormal. "I'm so glad. You were looking a little frazzled for my tastes when I saw you earlier today," he continued.
Sami opened her eyes and gave him a look. "You have no idea how glad I was to see you-both times. I was just having a hard time dealing today."
EJ regarded her steadily and then cleared his throat. "I—I heard about—"he began carefully, but Sami interrupted him.
"Yeah. I think the whole world did." She shook her head in disgust. "How could I be so stupid?"
"Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetheart." EJ absently reached for a lock of her hair that was spread across the cushion and began wrapping and unwrapping it around his finger. "It is obvious he's a very accomplished liar."
Sami snorted lightly at that. "So are you, and you've met me, right? If anyone should've seen him coming, it was me."
EJ laughed softly, completely unoffended by Sami's blunt comment. It was the truth, and she had said it just like that: as a statement of fact, not accusation. He loved that she was one person that didn't tiptoe around him because she didn't fear him or his name. Not anymore. If he ever wanted a fight, she would give him one—and hold her own quite nicely.
"But, I don't want to talk about him," she said suddenly. "Never again; let's talk about something else. Anything else."
"OK," EJ agreed. "Do you have plans for Valentine's Day?"
"Except that," Sami groaned. "I really don't want to be reminded that on the most romantic day of the year, I don't have a Valentine to spend it with."
"Most romantic day of the year? Who said so? Hallmark?" EJ shook his head. "Samantha, you are making too big of a deal over this. The most romantic day of the year is whichever day you say it is, first of all. Don't like the greeting card industry try to tell you otherwise. And secondly, Valentine's Day really isn't about romance; it's about love. So it is perfectly acceptable to spend it acknowledging the people you love-whether it is romantically or not."
"Really?" Sami asked somewhat sarcastically. She knew EJ was trying to make her feel better, but she wasn't buying. What kind of loser didn't have a date for Valentine's Day? "So just what are you planning to do?"
"Well, I of course have some things for the children. I plan to visit Lexie's grave—I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss her this year—and then go visit my other sister and try to talk her out of whatever diabolical plan she's in the middle of—"
"Kristen's cooking up some sort of plan?" Sami asked, immediately concerned.
"I have no idea, but isn't she always? I usually have this conversation with her a few times a month just as a precaution," EJ shrugged.
"Really?" Sami asked again. "You're always up for a good plan," she teased.
"In business and against my enemies, my dear." Again, EJ was completely unoffended. "But since Kristen's enemies always seem to be related to people I love…well, I can't have that, can I?"
Sami was once again struck by how easily she could forget about the sensitive and caring side of the man sitting next to her and reached to rest her hand against his thigh in gratitude. "Thanks, EJ. I don't always deserve it, but you always take care of me…and my family—even though they treat you like crap."
"No thanks necessary; it is automatic for me. And my father isn't particularly fond of you either, so I think we are even in that department."
The moment was meant to be light, but as their eyes held and the silence continued, the feeling between them became warm. EJ's gaze caressed her face intimately and rested longingly on her lips. Sami felt her pulse speed up, her breath catch, and she swallowed hard, whether in fear or anticipation she wasn't quite sure.
Before she could decide, EJ seemed to come back to his senses. He blinked quickly as if to clear his head, but not before Sami caught a flicker of…what? Regret? Revulsion? Whatever the look was, it too was gone before she could figure it out, and it left her feeling strangely bereft.
"Well, it's getting late; perhaps I should let you get some rest." EJ tried to cover his pounding heart and the effect Samantha was having on him as smoothly as possible by gathering his things and walking toward the door. She didn't say anything or move to follow him, so he kept talking, refusing to meet her eyes. "In fact, why don't you take tomorrow off? I'll pick up the children and take them to school in the morning and have them stay the night with me, also. You won't have to lift a finger if you don't want to for an entire twenty-four hours."
"That would be a luxury," Sami said, finally coming to stand next to him. "But, I'm fine, EJ; really. I don't need the day off."
"I insist. You more than deserve it. Good night, then."
An awkward moment passed before Samantha slowly opened the door. "Good night," she echoed softly.
EJ practically ran from the apartment, and once he was inside the elevator, he nearly collapsed against the back wall. He couldn't believe that he had come this close to ruining it all. But after that electric moment on the couch, having her that close to him-close enough to smell the faint sent of her shampoo and to see the heightened color in her own cheeks—was more than he could resist. Especially when she was looking at him with that certain look, the look that made one think she had seen into their very soul and searched out every secret they ever had.
The thing was that they were in a really good place for once in their relationship. They were raising their family together and interacting in a way that EJ hadn't known he missed during the time they wasted hating each other, and he wasn't anxious to go back there. And they most definitely would if she knew the depths of his feelings for her. She always ran when things got too serious-too real-for her.
That was something he simply wasn't willing to risk.
Hmmmm….maybe I needed this day off after all, Sami thought. Not sure what to do with the whole day to herself, Sami had decided to make an appointment for a massage at Maggie Horton's spa, which had led to getting her hair cut and colored, and now she was relaxing in a spa chair, her feet in a tub of warm water and choosing a nail color off of a tray one of the workers had presented her. Then she put on the headphones provided and punched a few buttons on the console attached to the chair, letting music wash over her.
She was very near actually falling asleep when she felt a tap on her leg. She opened her eyes and saw her brother, Eric, smiling at her even as he shook his head and motioned for her to take the headphones off. "Hey! What are you doing here?" she greeted him with a smile of her own.
"I happened to run into Maggie, and she mentioned that she thought she saw your name on the books for today. A good thing for me, since you aren't answering your phone, and all your secretary knew was that you weren't going in to the office today, "Eric answered. "Maggie said to tell you that she's thinking about you, by the way.
"Yeah, well, EJ ordered me to take the day off and took the kids for the day too. What else is a girl supposed to do?" Sami asked sweetly, ignoring Maggie's comment. She wasn't ready for the well-meaning people of Salem to start hovering.
Eric nodded, looking at her closely. "Get a spa treatment, I guess. I was going to ask how you were doing, but I think I can tell."
Sami knew exactly what Eric was talking about, but she also noticed the manicurist listening to the conversation a little more closely than necessary. Sami doubted that she knew anything, but she didn't like how nosy she was being. "I'd rather not talk about it right now, if you don't mind," she said quietly.
"OK. You're almost done here, right? Come have lunch with me when you're done. At the pub?"
"No; definitely not the pub. Can't we go somewhere else?" Sami asked.
"Sure," Eric agreed. "Meet me in the square when you're done. Then we'll make a plan, OK?"
"OK. See you later." Sami watched her brother leave the building, and tried not to dread the meeting. He hadn't been back in Salem as a man of the cloth for long, and they really hadn't found any good brother-sister time since then. She hoped this wouldn't be time she wished they could take back.
Later that afternoon, Sami stood at her window, looking unseeingly at the traffic below, thinking about that very thought. The lunch hadn't gone as well as planned; in fact, they had never gotten there. But it wasn't Eric's fault, and Sami definitely didn't want to take back anything she said….
"So, sis? Where do you want to go?" Eric asked as soon as Sami had hugged him.
"I don't know, but I was thinking about that new little place on the outskirts of town? It doesn't really matter; I just don't want to be anywhere the usual suspects would think to look for me."
"I understand. It's a lot to process—"
"Oh, Sami! There you are; I've been looking all over for you!" Roman exclaimed, rushing over to the brother and sister. "Don't you answer your phone anymore?" He wrapped his daughter in a big hug. "Do you know how many people are looking for you right now? Your ma, my ma, Bo and Hope, Brady and John, Will...though he actually told us to give you some space and that you would come around when you were ready."
"You should've listened to him," Sami said blandly. "I'm not ready for this, Dad."
"Well, have you at least talked to Rafe?" Roman pushed. "He's been asking for you, you know."
"So? He's not my concern anymore. We're divorced, remember?"
Roman stared at her in disbelief. "You were married too, remember? And very much in love, if memory serves me. Don't you want to hear what he has to say?"
"Not really. You think he can explain himself?" she asked incredulously. "I'm actually surprised that you're pushing this considering what the charges are."
"Sami," Roman began as if he were speaking to a small child. "This…this is Hernandez, we're talking about. There must be an explanation. He's one of the good guys."
Sami's mouth dropped open, and she uncharacteristically was at a loss for words. "What?" she managed finally. "The man gets charged with murder, every fact they have come up with since is worse than the last, and you want me to give him the benefit of the doubt? Are you serious right now?"
"Well, something's not right," Roman declared. "I know it in my gut; he's not the man they're looking for. Maybe DiMera got to someone—"
"Dad…" Eric's voice was warning as he cast a sideways look at his sister, but it was too late.
"EJ?! How did he get into this?" Sami asked heatedly. "That's a leap even for you, Dad."
"How so?" Roman demanded. "Sami. You know the DiMeras have influence beyond what anyone ever gives them credit for, and when they want something to be done, they always get it done. You know that as well as I do."
"Except you don't have a motive. He isn't in Johnny's and Sydney's lives, anymore, and for reasons still unknown to me, EJ hasn't pressed charges against him or Daniel and Nicole for keeping his unborn son from him; I know he hasn't because Rafe is the only one in trouble right now. So why—all of the sudden—would EJ decide to frame him from a murder he committed before they even knew the other existed?"
Roman eyed her with a steely stare. "OK. OK. I know it seems like I'm busy and not around a lot, but I see things. I've seen how EJ has been lately, how nice he's been to you. Heck, he's even got Ma saying he might not be that bad. There is something wrong with that, Sami, and you know it. He has to have an agenda."
Sami bristled. "Wow. Thanks, Dad. You'd rather have your daughter reconcile with a murderer than have EJ DiMera be nice to her."
"I don't know, Sami. Perhaps that is a little harsh," Eric spoke up. "The DiMeras have a reputation around this town. Even as you forgive, it is wise to be watchful."
"Of what? I'm supposed to think EJ is incapable of change just because Stefano is?"
"Stefano, Kristen, Tony, Andre. It's too soon to tell with Chad," Roman muttered.
"Enough, Dad. What about Lexi and John? I don't even know how EJ got into this, but I'm not going to see Rafe; tell him to stop asking."
Roman scowled. "I don't like that attitude, but I will let it go if you promise me one thing in return. Don't do what you always do when things get tough for you. Don't go running back to EJ."
"What?" Sami exploded. "Running back—I don't have to run back to EJ, Dad; he's already here…"As the words left Sami's mouth, a little light bulb went off in her head. "He's already here," she repeated quietly, as much to herself as to the two men standing beside her.
"Say again?" Roman asked, his ire already rising. "What do you mean by that, Sami?"
"I mean, I can't run back to EJ because he's never left. We share children. We are raising those children together; we either see or talk to him on the phone every day, and he will be a part of me and this family forever, Dad. Whether he's fighting me, you're fighting him or we're getting along, he's here to stay."
"As long as that's all it is," Roman warned. "Anything more than that is toxic—for both of you and anyone that happens to be around you. You remember how Sydney's kidnapping ended? Next time you two might burn the town down!"
"Maybe the only way to end the carnage is to start seeing things as they really are and not as I've convinced myself they have to be," Sami continued to muse.
"Meaning?" Eric asked. It was just a question, but as Sami looked at him, she had a feeling he was encouraging her to flesh out how she really felt more than asking for clarification for himself. He already knew that she had forgiven EJ for the things he had done to her and knew what was hiding in her heart. And she knew that he would be the first person in a very long while that wouldn't judge her decision; he would embrace her for it.
"Meaning, I've been unfair. We all have. EJ isn't all bad because he is a DiMera anymore than all of my misdeeds should be overlooked because I'm not. You're right dad. The two of us have done horrible things to each other, both of us. Neither one of us is innocent in the pain we've had to endure, and it has been a horrible road to travel. All the bad stuff…wow. Can you imagine the force we would have been if we had used our powers for good instead of evil…?"[/i]
She had laughed then, and she silently laughed now. Of course her father blustered on, reminding her of what a mistake she and EJ had been and how much more so it would be if they ever went back there again, but Sami wasn't listening. She was silently thanking Eric, who was nodding his approval-maybe not entirely of EJ, but definitely of her finally knowing her own mind and taking some responsibility for her own actions.
Once again, I can't believe I've been so stupid. Sami couldn't believe how clearly she could see it all. EJ always loved her; she always loved him. They both had simply been too caught up in their hurt and trying to upstage the other to acknowledge it.
They were an unexplainable truth. Something that couldn't be stopped or changed to fit any man's whim. What they had was bigger than themselves with a power all its own.
And there was only one way to deal with it.
"Hello?" EJ answered the phone on the run, but he felt the smile stretch across his face. He was really running behind to the next meeting, but for Samantha, they could wait.
"Hey, EJ. It's me; Sami."
"Yeah; I know." EJ laughed. "How are you enjoying your day off?"
"It has been…very productive. That's…kind of…why I called."
"Oh?" EJ detected a change in the tenor of her voice and immediately felt a sense of anticipation.
"Yeah." Sami paused, and EJ bit his tongue to keep from telling her to spit it out already. "I'm calling to see if you would like to spend Valentine's Day with me?"
"Mom? Sydney keeps trying to stick her fingers in the frosting!"
"I wanna taste it!"
"No! Mommy says we have to wait for Daddy!"
"But I wanna taste! Please?"
"Everybody, in here, away from the cupcakes! Now!" Ever since Sami announced that the kids could have a little part in the evening she planned for EJ, their excitement couldn't be contained. Everyone was determined to frost the perfect cupcake or draw the perfect picture on their card, and the competition was running high. Thank goodness he would be arriving any minute. Maybe some of the craziness would die down. Not that Sami could blame them. She was just as excited, and was running around trying to perfectly finish her own preparations for the evening.
She stood in front of her full length mirror and eyed herself critically. Her midnight blue cocktail dress was deceptively simple on the hanger, but it fit her to a tee, accentuating all of the best parts of her body with sexy elegance. It had just enough shimmer to catch someone's eyes—just to make sure they really did see it- and it matched her eyes. Which were much more catching than usual since she used that eye lining trick she'd read about from a professional make up artist. They were right: it did make her eyes pop. Stiletto heels, simple jewelry and leaving her hair in loose waves around her shoulders completed her look. She didn't look half bad, if she said so herself.
If the sudden silence as her kids walked into her bedroom was any indication, they thought so too. They gathered around her, their eyes big.
"Mommy, you look really pretty," Johnny said. "Really pretty."
"Yeah," Ali breathed. She reached out to touch Sami's dress. "She's more than pretty. She's beautiful."
"You have a pretty dress like her," Sydney added, pointing to a fashion magazine lying on the bed.
Sami laughed, and quickly dabbed at the tears in her eyes. If she ruined her makeup now, she definitely wouldn't be ready when EJ showed up. "Thank you, guys. Mommy feels pretty." Johnny, Ali and Sydney watched quietly while their mother finished packing her small clutch and retrieving her winter dress coat from the closet. With a final spritz of perfume and a line of lipstick across her lips, she was ready.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
And just in time. EJ had arrived.
All three kids sprinted from the bedroom, shattering the quiet that had prevailed for a few minutes by each jockeying for a chance to be the one to open the door, but Sami didn't mind.
It gave her time to try to settle the butterflies in her stomach. Butterflies that were there because for as many times as EJ had come through her door, there never was as much on the line as there was tonight.
EJ knocked on the door to Samantha's apartment and tried to figure out why he was so nervous. Seeing her and spending an evening in her company shouldn't have him wound so tightly, but he truly felt like a school boy again.
Maybe it was because he knew that tonight wasn't a regular night—and not only because it was supposed to be a holiday. Samantha didn't allude to anything when she asked him out the other day, but he could hear something different in her voice; he could feel a difference in his bones. He knew that something very special would be happening tonight, but was still afraid to actually think it lest he cast a jinx upon it and blow it all to smithereens.
"I'll get it!"
"You always get it!"
"I wanna open it!"
All anxiety and anticipation evaporated in an instant when EJ heard to commotion on the other side of the door, and he found himself stifling a laugh. He imagined that all the noise would be hard on Samantha, having to deal with it twenty-four seven, but he never got enough. Well, he was hoping to remedy that quickly. He had come up with a plan to be even more involved in their day-to-day lives that he hoped everyone would like.
The door flew open, and the children in all their enthusiasm seemed to tumble out.
"EJ!
"Hi—"
"Daddy!"
"Ah, I've missed you guys!" EJ was barely able to get a word out as he tried to catch all three children at once. "How have you been?"
Johnny laughed. "You talked to us on the phone before we went to school today," he pointed out. "We are the same as this morning."
"What?" EJ asked, his face twisted into a mock frown. "Are you sure it hasn't been longer than that?"
"Yep. Just since this morning," his son answered.
"Well, that is still too long. Come here, you three, and tell me all about the day." EJ settled himself in the middle of the couch with a twin on either side and Sydney in his lap and tried to keep up with the stories of exploits on the playground, who traded peanut butter and jelly for a pudding cup at lunch time and examine scraped knees endured because of tripping on the sidewalk at the same time.
"Wait till you see Mommy," Johnny suddenly said, apparently out of other things to tell his father about. "She's really pretty."
EJ looked at his son in surprise as he realized he was so caught up in the antics of the children that he forgot to ask about Samantha. "I'm sure she is; where is she anyway…." The words died on his lips when he saw her sitting calmly at the breakfast bar watching them. He wondered briefly when she had shown up, but only briefly. He was simply too stunned by her appearance to think of anything else.
"I told you she was pretty," Johnny said.
"Yes…she most certainly is."
Sami felt her cheeks flush at Johnny's comment and EJ's hushed agreement. It was a new feeling, feeling pleasure over what EJ thought of her. Well, that wasn't exactly true. In the beginning of their friendship, EJ's approbation had meant the world to her. It had made her feel not only like the most beautiful woman in the world, but like the only woman in the world. EJ was the only person that truly saw her for who she was back then and loved her anyway. What had he done to make her forget that? What made her run away from what it was that she always claimed to want?
"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself," she added, trying to keep cool. EJ cut a gorgeous figure on a regular basis, but he looked especially handsome tonight: striking black from his suit to his shiny shoes, with a dark burgundy shirt and matching tie. He was even wearing gold cuff links. Sami hoped she wouldn't spend the evening making a fool of herself staring at him.
Which was exactly what was about to happen if someone didn't say something. Sami cleared her throat. "Well, guys, Sabrina is going to be here in a little while. Should we get started?" That was the perfect thing to say to break the ice, she found, because the kids immediately jumped up to pull EJ to the table, chattering away about the pre-dinner party they had planned.
First were the homemade cupcakes (with the frosting Sydney had been dying to try) which could only be eaten after EJ had properly complimented each one. It would have been a lot easier and definitely less messy to simply have gone to the bakery and bought a dozen of the little cakes, but the kids positively beamed over everything EJ had to say about their creations, and Sami knew that as a parent, the effort of his children on his behalf meant more to him than the world.
The same held true for the handmade Valentine's they had for him. He loved each one so much that he couldn't possibly pick his favorite one, he declared when they pressured him to choose, though Sami did notice the extra moisture in his eyes when reading Ali's words to "her other daddy". The party ended with many slightly sticky hugs and kisses when Sabrina arrived to babysit and a chorus of "have funs" as Sami and EJ left for their date.
EJ raised his eyebrow at her conspiratorially as the waited for the elevator. "Dessert before dinner? I don't think Sabrina will thank you for the sugar rush."
Sami laughed and shrugged. "I'm not worried. She has more energy than they do. She'll wear them out long before their bedtime. So." Sami let the word hang in the air. "Are you ready?" she asked.
EJ nodded, holding his hand out to her just as the elevator arrived. "As I will ever be."
Sami grinned and placed her hand securely in his, all awkwardness and anxiety from before having long since disappeared. "Good."
"You know, I have to admit I was a bit surprised at your choice of venue when you told me about it last night, Ms. Brady," EJ whispered while they waited to be seated by the maître de at Chez Rouge. "I would have thought you would want to be miles away from this place considering the present circumstances—and your chosen companion for the night."
Sami huffed slightly in agreement. "I know. There was definitely a time I would rather have been anywhere but Salem; but not tonight."
EJ's face showed his surprise. "So what is so special about tonight?"
Sami smiled confidently. "Tonight, I'm seeing things as they really are and not as I think they have to be."
EJ looked at her blankly for a second before he asked, in a chagrined tone, "Should I be afraid?"
The maître de returned at that moment, motioning them to follow him, so Sami only winked at her date before walking away. That left EJ with one thought: yes, DiMera; you should be very afraid.
He hurried to follow with a smile on his face.
It was well into the meal, and EJ and Sami were having a great time. If either of them had expected things to get heavy or overtly romantic, they were mistaken. So far, it had been nothing but laughter and good conversation about everything under the sun—the kind of evening they might have spent together in the beginning when they were just friends.
It was such a freeing feeling to be able to still be friends—best friends even—after all that was in their history. It was another part of who they were as a couple that Sami knew she would never take for granted again. The love was awesome. The physical attraction would be phenomenal, without a doubt; that had never been their issue. But the friendship, to be able to enjoy each other's company without romance being involved? That was a bond she knew a lot of couples didn't have and that would give she and EJ a stronger foundation to build on.
She looked around at their surroundings at a break in the conversation. "You know, EJ, you said you were surprised I picked Chez Rouge for tonight, but I guess I wasn't the only one with a surprise up my sleeve."
"Well, what's the point of being the richest man in town if I can't put the money to good use?" he asked playfully.
Somehow, EJ had managed to get the whole patio reserved just for the two of them. It being winter, of course, it was enclosed for the season, but would still be a bit chilly if it weren't for the roaring fire in its pit in the middle of the area. They had arrived at the table to find a beautiful bouquet of red and pink roses. Sami thought they were perfect. They showed EJ had cared enough to plan ahead, but he wasn't trying to attach any more meaning to the dinner than he thought she was comfortable with, as might have happened if they were all traditionally red. A good bottle of wine and a little music to add ambience, and it was just the right setting.
"Well, I'm glad you did. Since it is a 'private party', everyone can see us in here, but can't disturb us." Sami's lips tipped in a mischievous smile. "I like it."
EJ laughed. "You are getting a kick out of this, aren't you? But did you really have to wave so cheerfully at your mother and John when we walked by?" he asked. "Marlena looked like she was going to choke on her filet mignon; she hasn't stopped casting glances this way all night. And she isn't the only one."
"Well, if they want to ruin their own evening, that's too bad for them. I am having a wonderful time. Thank you for coming out with me."
"So am I; and I wouldn't have missed having…a date…with you for anything. I honestly would have given away every penny I have if it was necessary."
It was the first time the conversation took a somewhat romantic turn, and Sami found it to be as comfortable as any other part of the evening. Where before she would have mentally dove for cover, she now basked in the moment, loving the feeling of knowing she was loved by an amazing man.
She was getting ready to return the sentiment—something else she never would have done before—when EJ sat up a little bit straighter and turn his head slightly toward the music as if he was listening closely. Sami followed his lead and could hear the melody of an old Frank Sinatra song remade by Michael Buble, "For Once In My Life."
EJ stood gracefully and offered his hand to Sami. "May I have this dance, Ms. Brady?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.
"I don't think we can tango to this, EJ," she answered, but took his hand anyway.
"No," EJ agreed, leading her out onto an open area of the ground. "This would be more in the ballroom line."
"Ballroom? You dance that style, too?"
"Well, yes. It was part of being a well brought up young man—before I rebelled and became a race car driver. Now, remember; [i]you[/i] follow [i]me[/i]." EJ instructed with a wink of his own.
Dancing with EJ brought back memories of a different dance they had done so many years ago. Then, it had been more passionate-a manifestation of what they were trying to deny. Today, it was more elegant and fun, with a hint of romance-a manifestation of how far they had come. And as the last notes played, Sami couldn't help but laugh softly in delight while EJ wrapped her in his arms and swayed with her slightly.
"Don't look now," he whispered. "But we've drawn quite a crowd."
Sami was certain he was right. She didn't have to look to know that half of the restaurant was probably watching in horror at the picture they made, but she meant what she said before; that was their problem. Still, maybe it was time to call it a night.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm a little tired of this crowd. Let's go."
"Anywhere you wish," EJ said. "I'll get our things."
"Samantha, as happy as I am to be spending time with you, I do wish you had picked a warmer activity." Even in his long winter coat, EJ was shivering, and rightfully so. It was a little bit colder than Sami had anticipated for this walk to the pier, but it was an important part of what she had planned for the evening.
"Just a little bit longer, please? I want to go look at the water." Sami didn't wait for EJ to answer; she just picked up the pace. Or tried to. Her shoes definitely weren't made for walking, and her feet were beginning to kill her.
"Samantha, you can hardly walk," EJ protested, her attempts to hide her limping not going unnoticed. "If you had told me you wanted to come this far, I would have brought the car…what are you doing?" EJ interrupted himself, watching Sami step to the railing and stare across the water with a thoughtful expression on her face. "What are you thinking about?"
"Do you remember it?" she asked
EJ stared at her, trying to get an idea of where she was going with this. "Remember what?"
"The last time we were here. You made a pretty specific request of me."
EJ felt what little blood he had left in his face drain from it. Did he remember that time? Did he remember what his request had been? Oh, did he ever.
Sami continued. "Actually, you asked two things of me that day." She turned to him then and pinned him to the spot with her gaze. "You asked me to marry you first, and then you asked me to let you love me." Sami paused to make sure she had EJ's attention before she continued.
"I've been thinking a lot about us lately. All of us; the good, the bad and the ugly. The very ugly. And I wondered how something so good could have gone so bad so quickly. I can't answer as to why, but I know now that part of it was because I wouldn't let you love me. I agreed to marry you—twice. I carried and gave birth to your child—twice. But not once did I let you love me—in my mind, at least.
"But my heart…well, that's the funny thing. No matter how stubborn my head was, my heart quietly did what it was supposed to do, what it was meant to do. It fell in love with you, and that love has been hiding all this time.
"I didn't even realize it until I was arguing with my dad the day after Rafe was arrested. He warned me not to do what I always do when things get hard: run back to you, and I told him I couldn't run back to you because you were already here. You always have been and always will be. That's when it hit me."
EJ was certain he was having an out of body experience-or maybe a really, unspeakably cruel dream. He could not be standing here after all these years listening to Samantha declare her love for him. She never in a million years would utter those words, no matter how much her actions may confirm them, so he would be waking up in a few seconds with his heart ripped to shreds; he was sure of it. But she wasn't finished talking.
"EJ, we shouldn't work. We shouldn't be here right now. After all we've put each other through-are you kidding me? But we are standing here, and we do work. We work as parents, as friends…as lovers…" She reached up to touch his face with her fingertips, and EJ let himself revel in feeling. It was a little bit of Heaven, a little bit of a promise—he hoped—of what was to come. "Please," she whispered. "Ask me again. Ask me to let you love me again."
The night was generally quite dark, but there was a bit of moonlight shining over the water, and it shined in Samantha's eyes, giving EJ a clear look at how sincere she was being. She loved him and was asking him to love her back. As if that were even necessary. All he had ever wanted was to be allowed to do that very thing. Nevertheless, it gave him great pleasure to say the words. "Samantha Brady," he breathed. "Please…will you let me …finally…love you?"
Sami laughed, but it hitched on a little cry of happiness in her throat. "Yes, EJ, yes. I will—finally—let you love me."
And she sealed her promise with the sweetest kiss EJ had ever had.
It wasn't very late when EJ and Sami arrived back at her apartment building (one of the downsides of having to use a teenage babysitter on a school night), and Sami was very disappointed to see the evening end. Maybe she could talk EJ into staying for a little while. The kids would be asleep for sure, so they could still have plenty of uninterrupted time.
"Well, here we are, sweetheart." EJ broke into her thoughts as he parked the car and then hurried around to her side. He opened the door, lifted her out of the passenger's seat and kicked the door closed with his foot over all of her protests that she could certainly walk the short distance to the building. Once inside, she could take her shoes off, and she would be fine, but he wouldn't hear of it. In fact, he carried her all the way up to her apartment before he put her down.
"That will teach you to walk in stiletto heels down to the pier," he teased, watching as she promptly kicked them off. "Though if I get to carry you back every time, I might insist upon it."
"Ha ha, very funny," Sami mocked just before she kissed him.
"How much time do we have left?" EJ suddenly asked. "When did you tell Sabrina we would be back?"
Sami looked at her watch. "Ten-thirty, so we have a good forty-five minutes to spare. Why?"
EJ looked a little nervous. "Well, my surprise can't hold a candle to what you planned for me, but I hope you will approve." He grabbed her hand and led her across the hallway to an apartment one door down from her own and pulled a key from his pocket. He opened the door and motioned for Sami to lead the way inside. "After you."
Inside, Sami saw that the apartment was beautifully furnished with the same layout as her own except it was one of the one bedroom models. "It's nice," she said. "Whoever lives here has great taste."
EJ shut the door behind them. "Thank you."
Sami spun around and leveled EJ with a look. "What? This is your place? Since when?"
"Officially, a week ago. But the furnishing was finished just today."
"But you have that big old mansion. Why would you want to live in a one bedroom apartment?"
EJ leveled Samantha with a look of his own. "It's simple. I need to be with my children every day. I want to be a part of their lives more than with phone calls and overnight and weekend visits, and I want to be able to be a better help to you than I am now. You have been very clear about how you feel about the mansion. Since having you live with me wasn't an option, I came to you."
Sami's mouth dropped open. "Really?" she finally asked. "You did that for me?"
"Of course. You should know by now, Samantha, that I will turn my life upside down and inside out for you if I need to." He leaned against the kitchen wall with his hands in his pants pockets and one ankle crossed over the other and watched the woman that he loved wander around his apartment once more before coming to a stop in front of him.
"What?" he asked, reading her face like a book. "Did I choose a wall hanging you don't like?" he asked gently. He didn't want to tease her too much because she really did look serious.
"Well…" Sami hesitated a moment more. "I was going to say that it seems silly for you to be spending money on your own place when we're together now, and I live right across the hall. But now I think this might be best."
"Why is that?"
"Because I want to do it right this time," Sami declared. "We've never really done things in the right order, so to speak, and we always moved quickly from one stage to the next. We could go from friends to enemies, from hating to loving and back around again before we knew it. I kind of like the idea of enjoying each stage of a relationship this time. Taking our time to date and live apart for a little longer before we decide to fall in love and live together again."
EJ's eyes lit up. "We're going to live together again? You promise?"
Sami laughed. "Oh, I'd say there's a good chance."
It was EJ's turn to kiss her, which he did without hesitation. When they broke apart, he looked at her searchingly. "So this is OK? We're actually in love, and we're allowed to be?"
Sami nodded, her eyes sparkling. "It's more than OK; it's meant be. Because we're not just in love," she said with another kiss. "We are love."
THE END
Featured song: "We Are Love"; Il Volo; Album title: We Are Love, copyright 2012