I don't own any of the characters.

Episode 1: Pilot

"Joel." Alex greets me as we were scrubbing in for an emergency surgery. She looks even better than she did in medical school when we dated.

"Alex," I greet back. "Hey how are you?"

"I'm fine." She smiles. "I thought you didn't start work until tomorrow."

"Yea, well I was going to come into the office, hang some pictures. Then this whole bus crash thing happened and well... here I am."

Charlie, her fiance and chief of surgery walks, walks up behind her. "Hey!" he welcomes politely. "Listen, I would shake your hand but I am all scrubbed in, so."

"Oh, no worries man."

"I'll see you in there. I'm looking forward to working with you." He points at Alex, "Well, I have to go and I will see you at eight." Charlie turns and walks into the OR.

"It's gonna be weird isn't it?" I ask Alex. "I mean you and me? You didn't invite me to the wedding so presumably you're still in love with me?" I joke with her.

"Oh, right, I forgot. I like to remember the poems you wrote me, the breakfasts in bed, the nurses you were banging." She looks at me snidely with her emerald green eyes.

"Ok we can stop right there."

"Really? If I had known you'd be here we would have invited you. If you get off early Park Regency, suite 918."

She walks into the OR. I haven't seen her in years. I forgot how beautiful she was. Her dark, chocolate brown hair and tall stature. She's tall, thin, and curvy. Her voice is sweet and crisp. It all came together to create the most perfect human being.

The next I saw of her she was riding on a stretcher on top of her fiance. He had passed out and was bleeding from his head and bleeding into his brain. He was comatose. All we could do was wait it out.

I loved seeing her work. She gets into this zone. She was in her own world. Nothing could distract her. It was only her and her patient. In this case we had to get her out of there somehow. She could not perform on her fiance. It would be too hard for her. Nobody could handle that. Whether she was in the zone or not.

"We have to reduce the pressure in his brain or he's gonna die." I say after we get his rhythm back.

Alex looks at me with devastation. I just told her that her fiance was going to die.

I walked into Charlie's office hoping I would find her there. I need to talk to her. She was staring at ring box while sitting at Charlie's desk."Do you need anything?" She asks as she looks up at me.

"I was about to ask you the same question." I look at the box tightly wrapped in her hands. "How are you doing?"

"I do better when I'm busy."

"What are you...?" I ask eyes locked on the box.

"Medic, dropped it off." She sighed, choking back tears. "You know, I only ever tried it on once. Charlie and I picked it out together."

"It's going to be okay."

"You seriously believe that?" She asked hostilely. I confirm. "Shahir asked me about a DNR. Do I really want to do all the crap of a series of interventions, cracking his ribs, pumping his body full of drugs, every indignity, when he's just going to die anyway?"

"Charlie's not going to die." I try to comfort her but she just rejects me.

"You don't know that. He has some brain function, maybe. The rest is just machines."

"Come on. you don't know that."

"Yes! I do! And so do you."

"No. I don't," I keep my voice low and calm. "Look at my patient. I could either cut that kids arm off or I could try and and save it. So, I don't know. How about we take the option of... thinking... you're not screwed?"

"You don't get to come in here and pretend you're the only doctor that cares about patients"

"Okay, where did you get that?"

"Charlie is twice the surgeon you will ever be. Amputate the arm that's what he was going to do."

"Well, I'm not Charlie."

"No kidding. This is life and death. You have to be aggressive."

"When did this become about you telling me how to do my job?"

"When you came in here and starting soft peddling me like I don't know the facts."

"I came in here because I was trying to be nice to you."

"Don't be nice. You're a lot of things, Joel, but you're not nice."

I walk out. She's right I wasn't nice. I'm trying to change. I want to change. I was never the nice guy. I don't think I will ever be the nice guy. I had surgery. I could clear my head there. That's how I clear my head. That's the one place I can get away.

You guys asked for it and so here it is. Finally. Your Joel Fanfiction. Enjoy. Tell me what you think in the comments below.