A/N: Hi everyone! I've finally found the courage to write the sequel to The shadows of the past I wanted so much. But know that the updating rate will be slower than my previous stories, partly because I choose to write longer chapters, and partly because I have less time to write. But I'll write the whole story, don't worry! One thing I really can't stand on this wonderful website is abandoned fanfics, so it won't happen with this one, that I can assure you! As usual enjoy and please write a review!
Chapter 1
Grim was worried. It was Saturday morning, three hours from going to the White House to meet the President of the United States of America and be awarded some medals for their work within Fourth Echelon, but Sam wasn't ready at all. Worse, he had told her the evening before, drinking too much whisky, that he didn't want to go. She had pursed her lips but hadn't said anything, knowing that his forced retirement and the dissolution of Fourth Echelon were very difficult to accept for him, in spite of the good news about his family.
But now they had to dress up and Sam was still locked up in his office, sulking and grumbling. She decided to give it another try and went in front of his door. She gently knocked and said:
_ Sam, honey? We'll have to leave in a few minutes.
_ I'm not going, she heard through the thick door. You just go.
_ Sam, she sighed in concern. I won't go without you. You were Fourth Echelon's commander, you have to be there, honey. You just can't skip an appointment with the President.
_ Sure I can! he suddenly roared, and she heard some books falling on the floor. What do I care about some useless medals? They won't make it up for what McMurdoch did! He fucking dissolved Fourth Echelon! Because of him we're all fucking retired now!
Some things went tumbling down again, and she understood that Sam wouldn't be reasoned to sense. He was much too angry and bitter. For one week he had seemed to accept the news quite well, but now he was probably realizing what retirement would mean for him. And he knew that Charlie, Kestrel and Briggs would start working for his best friend Victor Coste on Monday, and that he would be the only remaining man of the team without any activity.
She heard him hitting his punch bag again, and she went back to the kitchen. For the last two days the man she loved had spent his time in his office, drinking whisky and hitting his punch bag, not eating and snapping at her when she came to see him. She knew he loved her and was concerned about her pregnancy, but now she feared he was slowly falling into a nervous breakdown. He had to cope with a brutal retirement after forty years of a very dangerous and action-filled life, and his osteoarthritis which would prevent him from having any physical activity.
Worried out of her mind, she picked up her phone and called Kestrel. She knew that only Sam's two ops would be able to help him, and her.
_ Yes?
_ Mishka, it's Grim.
_ Hello, Grim! I didn't expect any call from you. Is our appointment cancelled?
She felt reassured by the ops' calm voice and heaved a huge sigh. Kestrel had a knack for comforting people, and right now she badly needed some comfort.
_ No, it's not cancelled, as far as I know. But we have a problem.
_ What problem? he asked in concern.
_ It's Sam. He has locked himself up in his office since two days ago and adamantly refuses to go to the White House. I don't know what to do, Mishka. He won't listen to me.
_ Sam is quite stubborn, Kestrel said evenly. But we can't go without him. Don't worry, Grim. We're already ready. I'll have Elena and Aliosha in the car in two minutes, and we'll come. And Sam won't stay locked up, that I can assure you. He'll have to open the door if he doesn't want to call his carpenter another time.
_ I'd be glad if we could avoid that indeed, she said, relieved. I'll call Briggs and Charlie.
_ Okay. See you in about fifteen minutes, then.
_ Thanks a lot, Mishka.
_ My honor.
The line went dead, and she called Briggs and Charlie. The two of them said they were coming immediately, reassuring her. Then she prepared a coffee and some bagels, and heard the first car stopping in front of their house. She went to open the door and saw Kestrel and Elena climbing down the car.
Elena picked up her son as Kestrel limped towards her, still leaning on his wooden cane, and her heart squeezed in sadness. The ops' leg was still impairing him, and it hurt to see him limping and walking with a cane after seeing him being a very gifted field operative for the last seven years. But he had survived the attack in Washington and saved James, her grandson, and even if he would never be an ops anymore, he had found a job and most of all a loving family, and he seemed happy.
She kissed him on both cheeks and he asked her seriously:
_ Is Sam still in his office?
_ Yes, she nodded as Elena and Aliosha reached them and told her hello. Briggs is coming, and so is Charlie. They won't be long.
_ Then let's wait for them, Kestrel said calmly. The more the better.
She nodded and led them inside, pouring them a coffee and some orange juice for Aliosha. Kestrel was obviously listening intently, eyes absent-mindedly fixing their fridge, then he said:
_ Sam is punching his bag. He sounds devastated.
_ Can you hear him from here? she asked in astonishment and worry.
_ Yes. He's swearing badly.
The ops didn't elaborate but Grim felt dismay tightening her chest. She knew things were going to be difficult for the man she loved, but she hoped he would have some of his legendary courage left to live on and overcome his state.
She got up when she heard two other cars and went to open the front door for Briggs and Molly with Charlie right behind them. She greeted them and Briggs asked:
_ How're things, Grim?
_ Nothing new. He's still hitting his punch bag, and Mishka can hear him swearing.
_ I see, Briggs said grimly as they went to the kitchen.
When Grim saw the ex-Fourth Echelon team gathered in her kitchen it warmed her heart, but it also hurt. They would never be the Fourth Echelon team anymore, only people with close links, a real family. But no more missions at the other end of the world for them, no more work together. At that instant, realization dawned hard on her and she stifled a sob. She understood Sam's distress, but she couldn't let him, and herself, sink low. They had a family, much more than simple colleagues. They would be all right. And she was pregnant, she and Sam would soon have a baby.
Kestrel leaned on his cane and the table to rise and said:
_ Shall we?
_ You know the way, she told him.
She followed him, Briggs and Charlie in the corridor towards Sam's office, Molly and Elena staying behind and looking after Aliosha. Briggs reached the door first and knocked, saying:
_ Hi, Sam! The team is here! Are you ready to go?
_ Screw it! Sam yelled in fury. Not again! I won't go, and don't even think about breaking the door, this time! I have my Five-seveN here!
_ Sam, Kestrel said calmly, I do hope you won't fire on your team. But we need you to open that door and get ready. We need our commander.
_ Bullshit! I'm not going anywhere! McMurdoch can shove these medals up his ass! He dissolved Fourth Echelon! It's all his bloody fault if we're all retired! Leave me alone!
_ No, Kestrel said with a harder tone. Snap out of it, Sam! You'll come with us and lead us. Even if Fourth Echelon has been dissolved, we'll always be Fourth Echelon's team. And you'll always be our commander. Now, I give you ten seconds to open that door. A stiff leg and a cane won't prevent me from crashing it open, you know it.
Silence answered him but the ops, unfazed, started to count. At five a gunshot suddenly echoed through the door and Grim, starting to tremble, heard Sam yelling, beside himself with fury:
_ I'm serious, Mishka! Leave me alone!
_ Sam, Briggs said in a soothing voice. Calm down! Just open that door, we want to see you and talk, that's all.
_ No! Go fuck off!
But Kestrel resumed his counting and at ten, as the door was still closed, he gestured at the team to go back to the kitchen to take cover. Grim hid herself behind the doorframe but still watched as Kestrel took three steps back and ran to the door, shoulder first. The door crashed open and a millisecond later a second shot was fired. She screamed in terror as Kestrel took two steps back, dropping his cane and leaning against the wall, a hand on his upper left arm. She rushed forward as Kestrel slumped onto the floor, leaving a small red streak on the wall behind him, and Sam screamed:
_ Mishka! Sonny!
As she reached Kestrel, she saw that the ops was wounded but not too badly, his arm was only grazed. She saw Briggs running to Sam, taking the pistol out of his boss' hand, then the two of them ran to Kestrel. Sam hastily knelt in front of his ops and asked him, sobbing:
_ Mishka, what have I done? Are you okay, sonny?
_ I'm okay, Daddy, Kestrel said with a small smile as Elena ran to him, bending over his wound. It's nothing, really. I just lost my balance, don't worry.
_ Mishka, show me your arm, Elena ordered him with a trembling voice. Grim, I need gauze and disinfectant, and maybe needle and thread.
Grim left immediately, fetching the things, and came back a minute later. All the people had moved to the kitchen and she was reassured to see Kestrel and Sam, face to face, embracing each other. Sam was still sobbing on his ops' shoulder but Kestrel was murmuring things in his ear, making him nod.
Then they pulled away and Elena made her fiancé sit at the table and treated his wound. Sam, looking lost, was soon in Briggs' strong embrace, then he and Charlie steered Sam towards their bedroom. Grim followed them with her eyes then asked:
_ Where are Aliosha and Molly?
_ Outside, Elena answered, sewing back Kestrel's wound with the thread and the needle. They exited the house just before gunshots, I hope they haven't heard them.
_ We have soundproof walls, Grim said, slowly regaining composure and feeling her heartbeat decreasing to a normal rhythm. Do you need something else?
_ No, it is okay, thanks.
_ Could I have another coffee, please? Kestrel asked her calmly, as if nothing happened.
_ Sure.
She poured him another one and he sipped it, looking relaxed enough, and she couldn't help herself. She asked him in bewilderment:
_ How can you keep your cool like that, Mishka? Sam has just shot you! He could've killed you!
_ No, Grim, he shook his head. You know Sam is an outstanding sharpshooter. In fact, his bullet would've passed two inches from me if I hadn't stumbled on the threshold, thanks to my wonderful leg. He wasn't aiming at me and never would've killed me. It was just an accident. I have no reason to be angry at him.
_ Still, he could've done much harm! she said, feeling tears of worry and anger welling up in her eyes. What was he thinking?
_ Grim, he said calmly, staring at her with his warm brown eyes. You have nothing to worry about. Sam never would've harmed us, you know it. But I think he's really depressed.
_ That is sure, Elena said, straightening up. It's okay, любимый (darling). Your wound is not too deep. And you heal fast, so tomorrow it will be okay.
_ Thanks a lot, my love, he said, kissing her. Are you okay?
_ Yes, she nodded earnestly. For a second I am very worried, but now I'm okay.
They kissed and hugged in front of Grim's moved stare, then Kestrel gently pulled away and said:
_ I'll go find Sam.
But two seconds later Sam entered the kitchen, showered and dressed in his old Fourth Echelon uniform, and only then did Grim notice that all men were wearing it. She sighed and looked at her clothes. She would have to change into her uniform too. And as if on cue, Briggs told her with a grin:
_ Now we're waiting for you, Grim! Where is your uniform?
_ Why wear it? she replied with a hint of annoyance, having spent three days thinking about the clothes she would have to wear for an appointment with the President of the USA.
_ To annoy McMurdoch, Charlie said seriously. Make him realize what mistake he has made with our dissolution. I hope one day he'll kick himself with regret.
She nodded, looking intently at Sam. He was less pale and looked a little better, but she could see in his green eyes his intense disarray. She walked right in front of him and hugged him. He kissed her, but although she felt his love for her she also felt he wasn't feeling good at all. Kestrel is right, she thought, he's utterly depressed. She whispered only for him to hear:
_ Be strong, honey. We'll be okay, and we'll soon be loving parents. Our baby needs you.
_ I know, my love, he whispered back, eyes bright. But it's so hard!
_ I know, she said, hugging him tighter. You need time, Sam. But don't worry, you'll soon feel better.
_ I hope so. And I need you so much!
_ I'm here for you, my love.
They kissed and cuddled, then she regretfully pulled away. As she left the room towards her bedroom she heard Kestrel asking:
_ Lena, do you have some thread left for the hole in my pullover?
She quickly changed into her uniform, her mind swirling with confusing thoughts, then came back to the kitchen. Sam was drinking a coffee and had a small smile on his face while listening to one of Charlie's countless jokes. Elena was sewing Kestrel's pullover and said:
_ Done, Mishka! Luckily your pullover is dark, the blood stain will not be seen.
_ Thank you very much, любимая (my love), he said, calmly putting it back.
_ Again I'm sorry, sonny, Sam said, eyes still bright. I don't know what happened to me.
_ Don't beat yourself up, Daddy, Kestrel told him kindly. Tomorrow it won't be more than a small scar, you know I heal fast.
_ Yes, but still...
_ Sam, Briggs said seriously, it's okay. You know Mishka is very unforgiving, so if you're still up on your feet and not lying in a pool of blood, then it means he isn't harbouring any grudge. Just relax!
Sam had a half-smile, then said:
_ Okay, so we'll go now. Let's get this done.
_ The faster the better, Charlie said. I want to have lunch with Andrea.
_ She isn't coming? Briggs asked him, frowning, as the team exited the house.
_ No, she's working today, and two people in her department are in sick leave.
_ Pity, Briggs shook his head.
_ I don't really care, the tech shrugged. These medals don't mean much to me. I prefer having her with me tomorrow at Mishka's.
_ Right you are, Kestrel grinned. Lena and I will cook this afternoon for tomorrow's housewarming party, and you won't be disappointed.
_ Splendid! Briggs grinned broadly as Molly and Aliosha joined them and Grim locked the front door.
She climbed behind the wheel of their van, Sam still using a cane too for his hurting knee, and she followed the cars of the team towards Washington. During the first minutes she stayed silent, waiting for Sam to speak first, and as planned he cleared his throat and said:
_ I'm so sorry, my love. I feel so bad about what I did.
_ It wasn't you, Sam, she told him soothingly, putting a hand on his thigh. You weren't quite yourself, I just know it. And you know you would never have harmed anybody of the team, so stop worrying about it. It's over.
_ If I had killed Mishka, he said with a trembling voice, I never would've forgiven myself. He's like a son to me! And I shot him!
_ Sam, she told him reassuringly, stroking his thigh as the Splinter Cell shed some tears. It was an accident, Mishka himself told so. So don't worry about it, it's in the past. Concentrate on the future. Do you remember our plans? The baby? Our wedding?
_ Yes, he nodded, wiping his cheeks. I haven't forgotten, my love. But it seems so far away from us!
_ It isn't, she said, heart squeezing in dismay. It's just that you only see your problems for the moment, Sam. I know it's hard, but you have to move on, honey.
_ I'll try, he nodded, taking her hand and gently squeezing it.
Soon she parked in the private and secure paking lot of the White House and followed an official agent with the team to a small reception room. And at 11.08 am Bart McMurdoch, escorted by a handful of senators and high-ranked officers went in. He greeted them seriously:
_ Welcome, Fourth Echelon! I wanted to express the nation's gratitude for your dedication and hard work during all these years at the service of the United States of America. And even if your unit is no more, you've done great service to our country. So to recognize officially your outstanding achievement in securing the US and its nationals, I award you today the medals you've earned since a long time ago.
He approached Sam, the commander, and gave him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the Presidential Citizen Medal, the Congressional Gold Medal, the Public Safety Officer Medal of Valor, and the President's Award for Distinguished Federal Civilian Service. Then he awarded Kestrel, Briggs and Charlie the same medals, except the Award for Distinguished Federal Civilian Service. Then it was her turn, and when he had finished pinning the four medals on her pullover he shook hands with her, smiling. She smiled faintly and he said, taking a step back as the people around them applauded loudly:
_ Thank you, Fourth Echelon. You were a civilian unit, so I can't award you some military medals you would've earned more than some people, but know that if I had my word you would've received a Purple Heart and a Silver Star at the very least.
Sam only nodded, jaws clenched, and maybe McMurdoch sensed the team's growing animosity and resentment, because he said:
_ I'm sorry to have to leave, I have an appointment in five minutes. Thank you all again, and I wish you well for the future.
He hastily left, escorted by the officials, and soon only the team, Elena, Aliosha and Molly were still in the room with two agents waiting for them. Grim watched Sam shooting a furious look at his five medals and said calmly:
_ Well, this is done. Where will we put them, honey? In your office?
_ No, he shook his head, seething with rage and removing the medals, handing them to her. Hide them somewhere, my love, because if I keep them they'll go straight down the nearest sewer.
_ Daddy! Aliosha shouted happily, running into Kestrel's arms. You have medals!
_ Yes, ребёнок (child), the ops smiled, kissing him. Do you like them?
_ Yes! They're beautiful!
Grim smiled and noticed that even Sam smiled faintly, softened. Elena and Molly kissed their boyfriends and she went next to Sam. He kissed her and murmured:
_ Let's go home, my love. I need to get out of here fast or I'll go berserk.
_ Okay, honey, she nodded, a twinge of worry in her chest. We'll leave now.
They said goodbye to the team, and she saw that Sam took more time with Kestrel, probably apologizing again. But the ops smiled at her beloved and muttered something to him, and Sam chuckled weakly. Then they left at Sam's slow pace, and soon were aboard the van. She drove them back to their house in the countryside around Baltimore, only stopping to have some food at a drive-through, and they finally arrived.
Sam went straight to the kitchen and rummaged in the cupboards, then went to the corridor and set to work. Grim saw him cleaning and scrubbing the wall where his bullet had splattered the paint with Kestrel's blood, then he took the shell out of the wall and went to fetch some paste to fill the hole. And only after that did he go to sit in the kitchen, sighing deeply, and asked her:
_ What about this vacation, then?