-"Your Feeling"-
The beautiful doll that stares at me,
It looks with such sadness,
Even though it has a bright smile.
But isn't that the way we work today?
We cover up our sadness with bright smiles.
Making people think that we're alright, so they won't worry.
But that's killing yourself inside.
Keeping all your feelings chained in.
Will you ever let go?
"Your Feeling" by Kumiko Saito
It's been 2 years since Aizen had been defeated. Soul Society had finally found their peace. Everything returned to normal. But the pain that the war brought would not be fade away for some shinigamis. That pain really affected their lives. It took them a very long time to move on. But, did they?
"MATSUMOTO!" yelled by the pissed Toushiro. Rangiku instantly fell from the couch and landed on the floor when Toushiro yelled.
"T-that hurts. Taichou, don't yelled like that in the morning. You startled me." Rangiku said as she rubs her head. Toushiro just glared at her.
"I wouldn't yell like that if you're not slacking off and working!" annoyed Toushiro shot back and walked towards his table. "And finished your work now, if you don't want me to freeze you there for me to make you do your work!" He added.
"Taichou, you're so mean." Rangiku as she stood up and tried to shunpoed away but failed.
"Nice try, Matsumoto." Toushiro said as he signed the paperworks. She looked to her captain and to her feet.
"Waahhh! Taichou! So mean!" Rangiku whimpered as her feet was encased by ice.
Rangiku cried as she continued to finished her paperworks.
"Will you please stop crying? You sounded like a strangled ostrich!" Toushiro exclaimed.
"Taichou, you're so really mean!" Rangiku pouted. "Could you just remove the ice in my feet? It's cold." She added.
"Not until you finished your work. It's your punishment." Toushiro said coldly. Rangiku cried more.
"Gin! Where have you been, Gin? Those are shinigami clothes…! Where did you get them…" young Rangiku asked.
"I've decided. I'm going to become a shinigami… Become a shinigami and change things. So they'll end without Rangiku having to cry." Young Gin said.
"Matsumoto…" Toushiro called her. Matsumoto slowly open her eyes.
"Taichou, what are you doing to my room?" Asked by the still drowsy Rangiku. Toushiro shot a glare at her.
"Idiot! You're in my office! You fall asleep while doing your paper work! Now finished it and submit it to Captain Commander immediately." Toushiro commanded. She slowly sit up and nodded. Toushiro sighed and slowly removed the ice on her feet and walked out in his office. When he left, Rangiku sighed. "Gin…" Toushiro continued to walk on the hallway when something caught his attention. He stopped and looked at the sunset. He went to the roof of his division to get a better view. He sat there and watched the sunset.
"Are you listening, Shiro-chan?" Momo asked.
"Shut up. Who would like to go to that Shinigami school?" Toushiro replied.
Toushiro closed his eyes as memories of the past flashed on his mind.
"I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun… I doubted you and… pointed my sword at you… Really am -"
And the memory of what happened in the war that broke his heart flashed in his mind.
"Shiro-chan… w-why?"
Her voice echoed in his mind. He clenched his fist as he remembered her saying that. It really broke his heart to see the very important person in his life dying in his arms.
"Shiro-chan, what are you doing up here?" a familiar voice asked. Toushiro was somewhat startled. He looked behind him and saw Momo.
"What you're doing here?" Toushiro asked. Momo pouted.
"I'm the first one to asked you that." Momo said.
"Nothing. Just resting and you?" Toushiro asked.
"Hmm, I just want to join you, can I?" Momo said. Toushiro only nodded and Momo sit beside him. They watched the sunset together. Silence overtook them.
"Is there something bothering you?" Toushiro decided to break the silence. Momo looked at him. She would always went on him when something's bothering her.
"No. Nothing." She offered him a smile. Toushiro looked at her. There he can see the sadness in her eyes. Even if she smiled so brightly, her true emotions were showed in her eyes. He sighed.
"You know, Hinamori, you're a bad liar." Toushiro said. Momo eyes widened.
"R-really, I'm fine–" Momo was cut off when Toushiro grabbed her wrists. He looked deeply into her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.
"Damn it, Hinamori! Just tell me what's bothering you! You're eyes…I can see it in your eyes! So stop denying it. Just speak it out! I'll listen…" Toushiro voice softened as he said the last sentence. Momo was shocked on his words but soon her eyes softened. She slowly moved closer to Toushiro and hugged him. Toushiro froze. Then Momo started to shiver. She was crying. He looked down to the crying girl.
"Sh-shiro-chan… I…" Momo trailed off between her sobs. "People say that I… I should have…" Momo stopped and cried more. Toushiro began to panic when she cried more.
"Uh, Hinamori, say it. Don't keep it for yourself only. Don't worry, I'll listen." Toushiro said as he tries to calm down the crying girl.
"P-people say that I… I should have died… Because… I always gets in the way… They say that I'm just causing you too much problems…" Momo finally said. Toushiro looked shocked to what she said. He felt sad, anger, sympathy… it's a mixed emotions.
"Momo…" Toushiro said her name so softly. "Tell me who were those people." He added but sounded like he's going to kill. Momo shook her head and looked up to him.
"No… It's okay. I'm fine. It's true that I should have die–"
"Idiot! Don't ever say that! And don't even dare to listen to what they say! They're just stupid idiots!" Toushiro said angrily but his eyes softened when he saw that she was scared.
"Come on, Hinamori... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to scare you." Toushiro said. Momo looked down.
"I..." She didn't know what to say anymore. She felt that she didn't deserve everyone's trust especially, Toushiro's trust.
"Why?" She asked suddenly. Toushiro looked at her confusingly. "Why? Why you s-still trust me after all I did? That's true t-that...that... I...only get in your way... You always hurt because of me... I... I don't deserve your trust and protection! Especially... I don't deserve you..." Momo finished as she stood up to leave but Toushiro grabbed her and pulled her in a warm hug. Momo was too surprised to react.
"You really are idiot..." Toushiro's voice is so soothing. "Don't ever say that again. Don't ever say that you don't deserve anything. You deserve everything... I am the one that don't deserve you... Because... I can't able to protect you at those times... I felt ashamed because of that. I'm a genius, a well respected captain, I wielded the strongest ice and water type zanpaktou...but still... I failed to protect you... I... I want to get stronger... I want to protect you..."
"But why? Why you still want to protect me?" Momo asked. "God... She's really naïve." Toushiro thought.
"Because... I..." Toushiro didn't know how to say it. "Damn it!"
"God. Damn it! Because... I... Because you're very important to me! And because I... I love you..." Toushiro finally said. Momo was surprised to what he said. She broke free from his hug and looked at him.
"W-what did you say?" Momo wants to be sure that she heard it correctly. Toushiro looked away.
"I'm not repeating it. It's your fault for not hearing it clearly." Toushiro said.
"Mou, Shiro-chan... I want to be sure that I heard it correctly." Momo pouted.
"I said you're very important to me and I love you!" He said slightly embarrassed. "And don't call me Shiro-chan!" He added. Momo giggled and then looked at the embarrassed Toushiro. She hugged him. Toushiro froze. He didn't expect such action after his confession.
"I love you too, Shiro-chan... B-but... Did I deserve your love? Did someone like me deserve someone like you...?" She asked.
"For the love of... How many times I have to tell you that don't ever say that? You deserve everything..." Toushiro said as he hugs Momo tightly.
"But what did you saw in me for you to love me?" She asked. He lifted her chin and make her look at him.
"Because... You'll always be my Bedwetter Momo..." He said with a smile then moved his face forward to kiss her. Momo was surprised at his action but soon closed her eyes to savor the kiss. After a few minutes, they pulled away and looked at each other, blushing. Momo just snuggled closer to him.
"So... How's your feeling?" Toushiro asked.
"Very good..." Momo replied with a smile. Toushiro smiled.
"Isn't it good that your feelings are not chained in?" He continued. Momo just nodded.
"Neh, Shiro-chan... Can we stay like this much longer?" Momo asked.
"Sure..." He replied as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Then they sense a familiar reiatsu. They looked around to know where it was. Then they spotted a flashed of light on the tree. Toushiro narrowed his eyes. "Matsumoto..." Toushiro thought. "Oh shit, they found me. But it's a good thing that I got some shots and recorded the scene. I'd better go out of here before Taichou freeze me." Rangiku thought as she jumps out of the tree.
"Bye bye, Taichou! Have fun!" Rangiku said as she waves to them with a camera on hand, then she shunpoed away.
"MATSUMOTO!"
End.
This is just oneshot.
Please Review.
Thanks.