Gone Forever

((A/N – I thought I would try and write a sad one-shot that has Troy dying in it. One rule broken. Anyways I spent a couple of hours thinking this up and I think that it has worked pretty well. I cried writing in and then reading it. Man I get too emotional. Anyways please R and R and let me know what you think. Disclaimer: I don't own HSM unfortunately. I wish I did but I don't. Written in Ryan P.O.V))

I watched my boyfriend's lifeless body through the flood of tears that were streaming down my face. I couldn't believe that this had happened. Why did he have to go and do something stupid like that? Troy, my Troy was stuck in hospital fighting for his life. I didn't want to believe that this was happening. I was dreaming. Yeah that's right. I was dreaming. I would wake up next to Troy with his arms wrapped around me tightly. I took another quick look at Troy and realised that this wasn't a dream. Troy really was in hospital, connected to machines fighting for his life.

I cried hard. "Troy" I cried out. I just wanted him to wake up. I needed him. I couldn't imagine living my life without him. I know that we were only 17 and we had only been dating for 11 months but I knew that he was the one. The one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. To grow old with. He was my first proper relationship, my first proper boyfriend. I gave everything to Troy. I gave myself to him. I lost my virginity to him and he lost his to me.

I heard him moan softly and I looked at him "Ryan?" he said quietly. "Troy?" I held his hand tightly. "Troy baby. Can you hear me?" I wiped away the tears that had started to re-form in my eyes and climbed into the bed next to him "Troy please answer me" I needed him to reply. I wouldn't let him leave me. He was my whole life, I wasn't about to let him slip through my fingers so easily.

"Ry-Ryan?" he coughed. I looked at him and saw that he was opening his eyes slowly. I smiled weakly and I felt my heart miss a beat when I heard him calling out my name. I hugged him softly and I could feel his weak body against mine. It felt so good to have him in my arms again.

"Yeah baby I'm here" I kissed his forehead gently and stroked his cheek. He was in really bad shape. He was pale, completely drained and he had quite a lot of cuts and bruises covering his body. He had also lost quite a large amount of blood during the accident. I still couldn't believe that he had driven his car into a tree. I knew why he had done it, he knew that I knew and that's why he had done it.

I had gone to his house one night whilst his parents were away to surprise him and I had caught him and Jason having sex. I went and waited downstairs hoping that he would explain but he didn't. As soon as he came downstairs he knew that I knew what had happened so he grabbed his coat and left with Jason. I couldn't believe it. When I had discovered them I felt my heart breaking in two. He had told me that he loved me and I had believed him and then he went and cheated on me with Jason. Jason bloody Smith of all people. I remember going to school the next day and noticing that he wasn't there. I wondered why. As soon as I got home I soon found out why Troy wasn't at school that day and that hurt me even more.

FLASHBACK

I came home from school and I saw a note lying on the floor. Obviously Sharpay wasn't home yet or she would've collected the post. I noticed that the letter was from Troy. I was hesitant at first about reading it but I decided that I would just go ahead and see what he had to say. I knew that it would be an apology letter. Well I hoped that it would be an apology. I opened the envelope and read the letter that was inside:

Dear Ryan,

We both know what happened the other night when you came to mine so I'm not going to bother making excuses for it. Yes I slept with Jason but I swear that was the first time that that had happened. I don't even know why it happened. It just did. I didn't mean to hurt you Ryan, I truly didn't but I know that I have. I'm not even going to ask to be forgiven because I know that you wont. Not now. I screwed up Ry; I know I did so I'm going to do the one thing that will make everything better.

Just remember Ryan baby, that in life and in death I will always love you and I will always be watching over you.

Love Troy

Xxxx

The thoughts that were running through my mind as I read the letter were uncountable. I re-read the letter and realised what he meant. He was going to kill himself so he wouldn't keep hurting me. I felt a lump appear in my throat and I grabbed my jacket and left the house as fast as I could. I jumped back into my car and sped off in the direction of Troy's. However on the way there I noticed that Troy's car had been smashed into a tree. I got out going and seeing what had happened. 'Please don't let Troy have been in there, please' but my prayers became unanswered and my worst nightmare had become true when I noticed Troy being lifted into an ambulance. I sped after the ambulance to get to the hospital not wanting to think about what would happen to him.

END FLASHBACK

"Ryan I'm so sorry" he whispered. It made my heart bleed seeing him like this. I could see that he wanted to cry and that made me cry harder. I couldn't bear to see my baby in pain. All thoughts of him cheating were pushed to the back of my mind as I thought about him getting better and coming back home.

Maybe if we had talked about what had happened then maybe this wouldn't have happened. What if I had shouted at him and made him stay. What if I hadn't gone over that night? What if I called him when I realised that he wasn't in school. All these 'What Ifs' were running through my mind? They didn't really matter at the moment, I knew that but they were the only things that were helping me to stay strong for Troy.

"Shhh Troy" I placed a finger upon his lips. They were so cold that it actually sent a shiver down my spine and I shuddered slightly "Save your energy you're too weak" Troy shook his head I didn't see the point in arguing. I knew that I wouldn't win even with him in this state.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you Ryan. I'm so so sorry"

"Troy it doesn't matter now. I forgive you"

"Yes it does Ryan. I hurt you and I deserved everything that happened to me" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He didn't deserve it. Yeah he had hurt me but killing himself wasn't the answer. It never was.

"Troy baby please don't say that. I know that you're sorry and I forgive you. Please don't die Troy please don't die. I need you. I love you"

"I love you too Ryan" I replied as I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. He kissed back weakly and placed a hand upon my knee. However I soon felt him drift away as his hand fell from my knee and he pulled away from the kiss. His eyes began closing and I held onto his hand tightly "Please don't go Troy, please" the last words that Troy ever spoke were "Ryan" before he drifted away from me forever.

""

I looked at the machine and I cried harder than I had ever cried. I held his lifeless body in my arms "Please come back to me Troy please. I can't live without you. I need you. Please Troy, please come back" I rocked back and fourth gently. I never wanted to leave because I knew that when I left this room I would have to start a new life. A life without Troy. And a life without Troy is a life not worth living.

""

God I hate that machine. I know he's dead you don't have to keep bloody reminding me of the fact. I kissed the top of his head and whispered

"I love you Troy. I never told you how much but I loved you so much. I'll see you again some day babe. I know I will. I know that you will be waiting for me when it's my time and we will be reunited"

I climbed off the bed and took one more look at his body. "I love you Troy" I whispered "Forever" I went and switched off the machine. This was the end. Troy, my Troy was gone.

Gone Forever.

((Well that was it. Let me know what you guys think. I was thinking about doing a one-shot sequel where Ryan dies a year later and he and Troy are finally reunited after a painful and lonely year. Let me know if you want me to do this and then I will get that started))