Author's Note: I haven't abandoned any stories, so please don't give up if you read any of my others, but I got this idea today and wanted to get it out and uploaded before I lost it. As always, I live and breathe for feedback, and I sincerely hope you enjoy this. This story was inspired by the song Long December by the Counting Crows, and takes place at the time of the finale. I personally don't think it's out of character for Hyde, but if you disagree and want me to stop, let me know.
Disclaimer: The show isn't mine. The song isn't mine. Damn, I'm batting zero today.
A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing you said as you were leavin'
Now the days go by so fast
Steven Hyde sat still and quiet, giving the appearance of being legitimately interested in whatever predictable plot line was flickering across the television screen. In the craziness of the holidays, the plan to move (and then not move), the imminent drama of Eric's return, and the usual commotion of people whining throughout the Forman household (most of whom didn't even live there), this brief moment of solitude was a welcome reprieve. He was tired. Exhausted, really. He personally preferred to have nothing on his mind; no concerns and no worries. But he felt as if his mind had been going constantly lately. The idea of leaving the only home he'd ever known had not been a pleasant one. The idea of losing the store, the only thing he'd really ever worked at in his life, had put an unexpected strain on him. And well, this Jackie and Fez thing made his skin crawl. Not that he'd admit that. Ever. But all of these recent pressures had weighed heavily on his usually-zen shoulders, and been the fitting end to a remarkably crappy year.
In his darkest internal recesses only would he admit, the crappiness had of course started the day Jackie announced her ultimatum. And while his reluctance then had been based largely on his feeling that the future was far away and his intention to keep it that way, in the last few weeks alone he'd felt tomorrow and the rest of his life descending upon him at an astonishing rate.
And thus, life was much more complex than Steven Hyde would have liked it. Much more complex. And lonely.
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven... I wish you would
The loneliness wasn't new to him. He'd been lonely most of his childhood, save the moments spent with Kelso and Forman and Donna. And he'd been especially lonely before Jackie infiltrated his life a few years back. But in all honesty, he'd been his loneliest this past year. Even with Sam around. They'd been comfortable enough, but she didn't really know him. Didn't get what his eyes were saying when his voice remained silent, didn't understand that he could mean alot when he said very little. And then, when even she left, he felt the full force of Eric's retreat to Africa, Kelso's departure to Chicago, Jackie's distance, Donna's interalizing. And he felt it more harshly as he believed it was in large part a result of his own mistakes.
All coming back to the girl he'd hurt. With false assumptions and wrongful accusations.
And somehow he felt if she could just look at him without the layers of hurt and ease up on all the space she'd put between them, everything else would hurt a little less.
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
Then he'd heard the footsteps of his surrogate family filling the Forman living room. Breathing heavily in preparation, he made his way upstairs. He blended in easily to the pace of the party, cracking open a beer and passing them out to the others. He took note of the apprehension hanging like a thick veil in front of Donna's blue eyes. He smiled at the comic relief Kelso contributed so effortlessly, so unknowingly. But he'd be lying if he suggested his attention to any other feature of the party even compared to the pull of a petite brunette. His eyes found her like metal to a magnet. She was oblivious to his stare, to his feelings, to the way she herself seemed to glow.
He watched as she stood on the stairs, body leaning into Fez's like it had towards his own countless times. He watched, and felt the fatigue wash over him all over again.
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California... I think you should
Drove up to the Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
The party had died down. Eric was back. Kelso was back. And they had all laughed and joked and burned as if nothing had changed, as if they weren't all different people than they'd been the year before. But they knew it wasn't true.
After everyone else went their separate ways, he sat with Eric on that basement couch and talked. About Africa and Donna. About Jackie and Sam. About tomorrow.
And it was all the great Steven Hyde could do to keep from crying.
And it's been a long December and there's no reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better that the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
Steven Hyde lay still and quiet, staring intently into the dark. He wanted to say he believed that things would look up again, that tomorrow would be the start of something new, and ultimately, something better. But that wasn't the case. And he had little to no sincerity in his voice as he whispered to the night, "Maybe this year will be better..."
And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean... I guess I should
Author's Note 2: Let me know if I should continue or leave it as a one shot, please.