This is a really messed up goofy version of my favorite ballad/poem, The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes (there's a good song version out by Loreena McKennitt; if anyone knows of another one, can you let me know please?) Um... it gets better as it goes on... maybe... it's just for fun, anyway. =) Hope you enjoy it. Oh, I don't own Gundam.

The Heero-man

-

The wind was the sound of a bullet among the raging seas,

The moon was a stark white Gundam dancing through the torn-up trees,

Its path left a trail of exhaust over the battlegrounds,

And Wing Zero came falling—

Falling—falling—

Heero Yui came falling, some enemies to pound!

-

He'd a green tank-top on his torso, black hair falling o'er his eyes,

Shorts of the darkest spandex, and a Gundam to match the skies;

He never seemed to change clothes: the smell was quite intense!

And he flew like a drunken salesman,

Walked like a combat salesman,

Set bones like a doctor salesman, under drunken pretense.

-

Over the cement blocks he clattered in the dark battle-station,

And he tapped with his sword on the security doors, but this brought no education;

He 'hn'ed a sound to the portal, and who should be waiting there

But Death Scythe's lilac-eyed pilot,

Duo, the Gundam pilot,

Trying mightily to remove the ribbon from his braid-bound hair.

-

"Heero! Thank God you're here! I'm really stuck to-night;

Help me get this damned thing out before the morning light!

For if they others find me, of laughing they will die,

So get down here and save me,

Climb down here and save me,

Undo this thing and save me, before I start to cry!"

-

Heero jumped down from the cockpit; he sighed and shook his head,

"You are most impossible and really should be dead."

But Duo pouted and smiled, and there was nothing else to do,

So Heero loosed the braid in the moonlight,

(Oh, how he wished for more light!)

Then he jumped back into the Gundam, and away that pale boy flew.

-

("Eh?" said Duo. "Darn, now I'll have to wait until tomorrow to ask him to dinner.")

-

He did not return with the dawning, he did not come back at noon;

Duo got bored and painted Heero's room by the light of the fading moon,

When the road resembled his ribbon, he got a little mad,

And enemy troops came marching-

Marching- marching-

Zech's loyal men came marching, in mechs of iron-clad.

-

They broke down the door and entered the room in which he stayed,

And Duo realized his security rent had really not been paid,

They knocked him down and they tied him up; he made some comments snide.

There was angst at every window,

Duo's glare at one space window;

For he had left the eggs on, and Heero will not be kind.

-

("Hey, you moron!" The men said. "You're being kidnapped! Act scared!" "But the eggs!" Duo moaned. "Heero will murder me!")

-

They pushed him around for a bit, to try and make him cry;

They had tied him up with his own braid and it made him want to die

(The pain was quite intense, you see)

He then heard Heero say- How could you not have paid the rent?

Now our apartment's trashed and bent; But I'll come to you by moonlight to have some fun today.

-

("Wait... he never said that. But mm, nekkid Heero.")

-

"Hey!" he said. "I mean it! That's Heero's voice I spied!"

But the men simply ignored him; they forgot Duo never lied!

Besides, you hear a voice, not spy... anyway, he fought and pleaded

For now surely was his rescue,

Heero to the rescue,

He would be unfastened, or else Heero would not be his.

-

He saw the boy by his window; he strove no more for the rest!

But then he saw his expression, and a pain grew in his chest

For Heero thought he had paid the bill, but now he knew he lied;

For the door was wide in the moonlight;

Open wide in the moonlight; It was obvious that Duo had skimped again and now he'd surely die.

-

Click-click; click-click! Had they heard it? The bullets in the gun

Click-click, click-click, by the doorway? Could it be that they were stunned?

Bursting through the door wide open, a battle cry on his lips, Heero Yui came shooting,

Shooting, shooting!

Zech's men jumped to attention! Duo waited, this really was the pits!

-

Bang-bang, in the growing darkness! Bang-bang among flickering light!

(Duo knew he'd be in trouble! This was really quite a fight!)

His eyes grew wide for a moment; he drew one last deep breath,

Then he broke his hands from their casements,

Fought those men in his placement,

Wished that he had a basement (because he has no brain might)

-

The soldiers soundly defeated, Heero turned with eyes of red

Glared, which made Duo quake in terror, and filled him quite with dread!

But as the sun dawned in the doorway, his face grew slowly warm,

And Duo, Gundam pilot,

Lilac-eyed Gundam pilot,

Smiled bright in the sunlight, and kissed his love in the calm.

-

"Ahh!" Heero cried like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky,

And ran down the road behind him with a fearful look in his eye

Toad-green was his shirt in the golden noon; Olive-black was his messy hair,

When his Gundam fell upon him,

Flat like a pancake on him,

And Duo sighed and shook his head, "He really should have stayed."

And still of a winter's night, they say, when a bullet's in the breeze,

When the moon is a stark white Gundam dancing through the torn-up trees,

When it leaves a trail of exhaust, over the battlegrounds,

Zero-Wing comes falling—

Falling—falling—

Heero Yui goes falling, some enemies to pound.



Over cement blocks he clatters and clangs in a dark battle-station,

And he taps with his sword on the security doors, but this brings no education;

He'll 'hn' a sound to the portal, and who should be waiting there

But Death Scythe's lilac-eyed pilot,

Duo, the Gundam pilot,

Trying mightily to remove the ribbon from his braid-bound hair.

I know it's terrible... R&R anyway?