Note: Yes, I have quite a few of my stories and ideas waiting for me to write them – and I will. I'm out of Takouji fics to read, and that is my current obsession… so I'll now have some time to write from my normal reading time. And I'll write. This is more than likely my first digimon story that I started and have centered in the Real World.

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon, just write a bit about it. This story is rated R for violence (semi-graphic), lime; adult themes… stuff like that.

My One and Only

By: Zoleth

Isn't it funny how the human mind, body and soul work together and yet so much is not known about them? How do they work? Scientists say they know, but in reality they can only guess as to how everything works. They know only a tiny percentage of the whole truth and half of what they call 'truth' are in fact falsehoods created to make an explanation for the unknown. Maybe it was meant to be that way – after all, who'd want someone to be able to figure out how to copy the horrors known as the human feelings.

Feelings. There's something no one can say they don't have. Anger, aggravation, curiosity, wonder, amazement and the two that are dominant above the rest – fear and love. Fear is something all humans have, whether they deny it or not. Fear is a necessity for a human, whether we believe so or not. After all, fear is what brought about great things. Great and horrible sometimes, but great nonetheless. Fear was what prompted man to attack other men. It is what brought war, which in turn brought different stages of production and adaptation. It is what prompted humans to research the wonders of life, to try and find and answer to everything. It has no opposite – some may say courage is something of one, but how can you be courageous if you feel no fear. Courage isn't lack of fear, but rather coping with it and challenging it. Fear stands alone.

Love is the one thing no man can make any explanation for. It is what women feel for the child even before they exit the womb. It is what God feels for all his creations. It is something that is not within any man's control. Throughout history stories have been written about love and what people did for it. It is something children giggle about, and fathers to run into burning homes. Humans can feel it for all creatures – which is shown with how people care for their pets. It too has no opposite. Some say hate is that, but if you think about it that's wrong. Both love and hate stand-alone – for you can love, or not love… but there is no way you can go negative with it.

Yet, despite all the good it does it is also the thing the causes the most mental anguish and suffering in the world. It can be the greatest strength, and the greatest weakness. It can make humans go beyond the limits of their body to accomplish a task, but can also affect their decisions so dramatically that the condemn themselves. When a person finds that the person they can love cannot love them back, for one of many reasons, they can find themselves in a living hell… kind of like the one I'm living in now…

Aw… forget it. I don't even know why I'm writing this – not like someone is going to read it… damn, I'm stopping my hand from writing any more now.

I frowned at the journal that sits on the desk in front of me, open to the second-to-last page. It was a large journal, and while my handwriting wasn't the smallest, it was still small enough to provide room in one journal for four years of entries. Wouldn't have lasted this long had those four years not consisted of doing practically the same thing every day and night. I heaved a sigh and looked at the clock on the old, wooden desk. 7:47 PM… ten minutes until work.

Ten minutes is quite a bit for me, at least it seems so when doing nothing. So I do something – flip to the front of my journal and start to read.

Day One,

Wow… I'm writing in a journal. If any of my old friends were to catch me, I'd have to kill myself… okay, bad thing to say considering all that has happened. Sorry. Oh. Right, you don't know what has happened… but why do you care anyway? You're journal. Well, maybe you just want your pages filled, huh? Well, I can and will do that.

Right now I'm sitting here in the dirt, in the middle of the park by where I use to live. I say use to because now all there is there is a pile of ashes – ashes that include those of my mother, father and younger brother. Mine should be there too… or none of ours. But I wasn't there. I had run out – my father had gotten very angry when I tried to ask his advice about my 'love life,' or lack of one. Why'd he get mad? Well, I'm guessing he didn't like the idea of having a son who had feelings for two people.

Normally that'd be fine, but in my case it was different. See, one of the people I felt 'pulled' or 'attracted' to was a guy. I guess that makes me bisexual, but I don't care. Father did. He got mad enough to hit me. I ran then. I stayed the night at Tomoki's. His parents were nice enough not to ask why I was coming over so late. When I got back home the next morning, I found the ashes. Ashes as well as cops and firemen.

It seems that me not being there for the fire was 'suspicious' and that the neighbors hearing arguing gave them cause to believe I started the fire. Can you believe that? Them thinking I did it. The idiots. To make a long story short enough people knew me well enough to say I didn't, couldn't, do it to make them lay off. Next thing I know they tell me they are shipping me off to another city, to find me a new 'home'.

Fuck that. I ran, and now here I am. Takuya Kanbara, fugitive from Child Services.

----

Day Seven,

I can't stay at my friends' houses anymore. Their parents, no matter how nice, all know that I am now a 'runaway.' So now I'm stuck with a few hundred yen and my clothes, I guess. Not the many of my friends like me any more. My best friend, Kouji, happens to be the guy I fell 'pulled' to. After all our adventures in the Digital World, I never thought he'd go all cold on me again. I was wrong.

I told him that I liked him last night. Him, being Kouji, figured out what I meant quick. His fist hit me almost as quick. It still hurts, my jaw. He told me we weren't friends anymore. That I should never talk to him again. All because I told him the truth. Damnit, why couldn't I like someone understanding and with a weak punch… like Kouichi, for example. He'd have talked to me about it. But no. I have to like Mr.I-punch-whatever-tries-to-love-me. Bastard. Anyway, I gotta go. Someone's coming.

Hey, I'm back. Guess what? I've got a place to stay, along with a job. This American, a mister James Burol, owns a restaurant. He says he has a place below it where he has a few extra rooms. If I work there, he'll give me a room, food and good pay. Isn't this great!?

I look at the clock once more. 8:03. Well, if the bell doesn't ring on time it's not my fault. I continue to read.

Day Nine,

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm such a fucking idiot… again; I have great choice of words. Fucking. Yep. As it turns out, good ole' James' restaurant is only open until 7:30 PM. His other business is open after that. What business is that? The one I work for – his underage whore house.

Hard to believe that a man can have cops eat at his restaurant by day, and by night take money from various men and let the fuck one of his ten underage whores. Turns out one of his was killed by a customer, and so he needed a new one. That's me. From what I was told, all of us are the same. No close family left, had been on the streets when James picked us up, and brought us here. We're kept in the basement, which is soundproof, all day. We get meals, get to play games, or watch TV. But at night we are all fucked, and from what I've felt, it's usually hard.

It hurt still. Last night the 'boss', as I'm supposed to call James, decided to 'show' me what the rest of my teenage life would be like. And it hurt like hell. I'm only 13 for crying out loud. This isn't right… I tried to fight back, but he was too strong. For two hours he 'showed' me what was expected of me, and what will happen if I don't do it.

Why do I trust people so easily? Kouji said I was naive… maybe he was right. I should have saw something like this happening…I was stupid, though… Why is this

---

I don't get the read anymore as the bell above the door to my room goes off twice. "New 'client'," I mutter as I stand from my seat, wiping the tears from my face as I move to the edge of my neatly folded bed. It's been three years since I came here, and most of that time has been spent in this same room. I could move across it in pitch black. A ceiling light is dimly lighting the room. No lamp – that'd be an object that could be used as a weapon. Which is bad.

A knock comes to the door and I sigh slightly. Usually, if they don't just barge in, it's one of those middle-aged men with a wife and ego problems. Shy and collected until you get them going, then they get dangerous. You'd be amazed by how much a 'whore' could tell you about one person just by seeing them, or even hearing their footsteps.

I stand and walk over to the door, silently opening it and stepping back to the wall, allowing my new client to step into the room. I don't take time to look at him before shutting the door. "If you have any idea what you want, go ahead and tell me. It'll save some time."

The voice that answers sounds, to my surprise, young. "Just do what you're paid to do and pleasure me, you whore." Young does not mean nice. I withhold a sigh and turn to my new client, my right arm going to his right shoulder before I bring my body around him so I have him in something close to a hug.

As my right hand draws itself across his back my left goes to his chest. Seconds later my mouth is on his. Okay, so I'm a bit quick. But hey, he's the one who came in late. All is going well until I look into his blue eyes. I would know them anywhere, even if it has been three years since I saw them.

Immediately both my hands drop and I take a step back in shock. He seems to do likewise.

"Kouji?"

"Takuya!?"

We say each other's names at the same time, and my mind goes into overdrive. Why me?

End Chapter One

Endnote: I tried to do this one a bit different than I usually do… like it? Please review.