The rolling door closed noisily behind him, Jack made his way up the steps to the platform, he paused, no one else seemed to be about, he could hear the sound of a voice coming from the autopsy room, crossing towards it's archway, he walked onto the landing and looked down to the work area.
Owen Harper was leaning against the end of the autopsy table, his arms folded across his chest, silently watching the projected image of the computer display.
"Busy?" Jack asked.
Owen glanced up at him, "Not really," he sighed. "Thought at first he'd come in through the rift, but looks more like a nice normal psycho, so we can hand him over."
Jack glanced at the display, it showed one of the cells- and it's occupant- as he paced around, talking to himself.
"He doesn't look..." Jack stopped and stared, as the man moved out of the shadows and into the light. "Maybe he does," he said, changing his mind and leaning forward to get a closer look.
"You think he looks weird, you should see what he had in his pockets!" Owen said, nodding towards an assortment of objects, strewn across the table.
Jack moved quickly down the steps, "Are those what I think they are?" He enquired, pointing.
Owen winced, "Luckily... no," he said, "They're the wind-up variety."
Jack peered at a pair of larger than life, overly pink and white false teeth. Clearly having no intention of even thinking of touching them, he murmured, "People buy teeth that wind-up?"
Owen shook his head. "They're a joke... sort of," he added, "They chatter and laugh," he said, mimicking their movement with his fingers.
"Teeth that move on their own are funny?" Jack said, baffled, "I don't think I'll ever really get used to this planet, just when I think I've got it taped, something like this crops up!"
Owen shrugged, "Anyway he's no ID on him, so we've got no clue who he is. Only thing with a name on, is the match book, comes from somewhere called Gotham, wherever the hell that is!"
Jack shook his head. "Never heard of it, get Tosh on it when she comes in- where is she by the way?"
"Car trouble, said she'd be late," Owen replied, turning back towards the display. "According to the scans, that isn't make-up by the way."
"Really?" Jack responded, "Doesn't look too unhappy about it!"
"Well from what I can tell- which isn't all that much- I don't think he'd be able to look miserable, even if he wanted to."
"How come?" Jack asked, his gaze fixed on the image of the prisoner pacing around in the cell.
"Somebody did something to his face and that's about all I can be sure of. It's possible it was an attempt at corrective surgery, but ... other than that your guess is as good as mine." Owen sighed, "Don't know who he's got to thank for it, but the poor sod has to smile his way through life, whether he wants to or not."
"There's no doubt he's human?"
"Definitely. If I were to guess, I'd say his body had been immersed in some kind of chemical mix, there's not a lot more I can say, I'd need to get a closer look, and judging by what he did to the arresting officers- I don't think I'm going to attempt that any time soon!" Owen said.
Jack raised his eyebrows, surprised, it wasn't often Owen thought something was too dangerous to investigate. "That bad?"
Owen winced, "He could give a Weevil a run for it's money."
Jack whistled, impressed, "So your not going to bother?"
Owen shook his head, "Nah, no point, he's not alien- he can be as weird as he wants, if he's not alien, he's not ours."
Jack nodded, "Probably best to ship him back where he belongs- wherever that is."
Owen turned and picked up a clipboard. "May as well go and have a word now he's awake, want to come?"
"Yeah, why not!"
Jack followed Owen out of the autopsy room and across the hub.
* * *
The figure in the cell stopped pacing when he heard the door opening, slipping into the shadows, he waited.
Owen walked up to the observation wall of the cell, looked like their latest visitor was feeling shy! Hitting the panel with the flat of his hand, he yelled, "Oy! Anybody home?" and waited.
Out of the darkness, a giggle echoed around the cell, then a voice said, "Nobody here but us mad men."
"Everyone's a comic," murmured Owen, then sighed and glanced towards Jack.
The figure suddenly threw himself against the panel, making Owen jump back. Jack moved forwards automatically.
"Ooh! Two!" The garishly coloured face contorted suddenly, the inane grin twisted, he pressed his face against the panel. "And then we were three," he giggled again, then winked at Jack.
Owen looked at the man briefly, a bored expression on his face, then re-checked his clipboard. "So, you come from somewhere called Gotham?"
The man sighed, then turned his back, leaning casually against the screen he folded his arms across his chest. "Well...." he said, drawling the word out slowly, then sniffing with derision.
Jack glared at the man, "We need to inform the authorities, from wherever it is you belong."
"Ooh!! " He grinned, eyes wide with mock delight, "American... I can do business with you," he announced, turning back and prodding the screen with his finger, "Get rid of the runt... I only deal with the organ grinder."
"Much as I hate to break up this little love fest," Owen murmured, then thumped the glass panel with his fist, making the prisoner turn his attention back to him, "I want answers."
"Really?" the man's voice was suddenly barely audible
"Yeah, really!" Owen replied, "You want to go somewhere better than this archaic hell hole, I suggest you co-operate."
The prisoner slowly approached Owen, as he moved he trailed his hand along the screen, poking one of his fingers into a ventilation hole, that was set into the security screen. Owen eyed him lazily, "I wouldn't bother if I were you mate."
The man moved rapidly forwards, his fingers pushed through the holes, then gripped against the screen as he attempted to wrench it towards him, his forehead pressed against the glass, face contorted with rage, he hissed, "I'm not your mate," back at Owen.
Owen smiled vaguely back at him, "What d' you know, a bright spark, in an otherwise depressing day!"
Jack pushed his hands casually into his pockets and wandered over to Owen, then smiled at the prisoner, "Y'know, I always think it's a bad idea to piss off the man most likely to set you free." Jack moved his hands from his pockets, then leaned closer to the screen and whispered, "He's a doctor, if he says you can go..." Jack wriggled his fingers, emulating wings flapping.
The grin on the other man's face seemed to slacken, his eyes narrowed, "I don't like bats," he hissed.
Owen raised his eyebrows in surprise at the response and glanced towards Jack, who looked equally baffled, "Remind me to set up some charades, I must be rustier than I thought."
"I'm sure the police will want to talk to you, you inflicted more damage than was wise on several of their colleagues," Owen leaned closer,"They could well be in the mood to make a point."
Fixing his gaze on Owen, the other man's smile shifted slightly, "You threatening me?" he enquired cheerfully.
Owen suddenly shrugged and moved away from the screen, "Nah, no need," he smirked briefly back, then added, "Plods R Us, can't wait to get their hands on you. You're of no interest to us, might as well sign you back into their loving arms."
Jack and Owen both turned away from the cell, they had only taken a few steps when their prisoner began banging on the screen and yelling.
"Alright all ready, I'll co operate, what do you want to know?"
"That was quick," murmured Owen, glancing at Jack and then turning back. "Name," he said, glancing down at his clipboard, then waiting, pen poised.
"Joker."
The pen hovered above the clipboard, "Yeah, aren't we all?"Owen murmured, "Forget it, let's get shut of him," and turned away again.
"I could tell you," the Joker said, eagerly, pressing against the panel and glaring at Owen's back. "But then I'd have to kill you."
Owen didn't bother to turn back towards him, instead he just said, "Really?"
Joker blinked lazily, "Well, that's what I had to do before."
Jack smirked and moved closer. "Fascinating as I'm sure you think that you are...." He said, fixing the other man with a cold stare, "I have paperwork, that's more interesting than you are!"
Joker's head suddenly jerked sideways and he moved back from the screen. "This, isn't interesting?" he demanded, arms outstretched.
"'fraid not-you're only human," Jack said, shaking his head.
Joker blinked, for a split second, unsure, the grin faded, then suddenly flashed back, "Mostly I'm referred to as an animal," he said, watching eagerly for the other man's response.
Jack turned away, disinterested, "Nah, wrong kind of inhuman."
Pursing his lips Joker watched Jack and Owen as they walked away, "I have some interesting friends- and some even more interesting enemies," he murmured, watching as the two men reached to main doorway.
Jack turned, shaking his head, "Not interested, sorry, times up."
Joker began hammering against the glass panel, desperate to get them to come back and provide him with more attention.
"You, doctor, aren't you just a little bit curious?" Joker demanded, clearly thinking he had more chance of attracting Owen's attention than Jack's.
Owen smirked, then nodded in Jack's general direction. "His decision... he's the one who grinds organs, I'm just a little monkey," he grinned at Jack, "Aint I boss?"
Jack pursed his lips and laughed, "Aint you just! We're done here," he announced, pulling open the door and marching out into the corridor, Owen close behind him.
"So what do we do with him?" Owen asked, as the door closed behind them.
Jack shrugged, "See what Toshiko can come up with, I know the local guys want him back, but frankly I'd rather see the back of him and the sooner the better."
"You and me both," murmured Owen, "He gives me the creeps!"