Jedi Self Esteem (Obi-Wan's Secret Self-Obsession)

A brief documentary on Obi-Wan's little obsession by Alli

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Many people have their own quirks or obsessions. Some are obsessed with candy. Some are obsessed with a certain male (or female if you're a guy). Often people can be obsessed with movies such as Moulin Rouge or Attack of the Clones. Which brings me to my next point: Jedi.

Unless I'm mistaken, which I am certainly not *death glare at those who think otherwise*, Jedi aren't supposed to have feelings. They're not supposed to love ('cept Anni), hate ('cept Anni again), be afraid (Look! Anni again), or show any other feelings. To make it easier for you, they're kinda like R2-D2 – no feelings whatsoever. But R2's a droid, and droids aren't programmed with feelings, unless of course the programmer gives them, well, feelings. In my case, obsessions are considered feelings. Which brings me to my next point: More Jedi.

Wasn't Obi-Wan considered one of the greatest Jedi or something like that? Well, like I said before, Jedi cannot have feelings ('cept for Anni, but I'm not getting into this again so just assume Anni has feelings. Kay?). It's their lack of feelings that makes them good Jedi (And their funky lightsabers too!). But Obi-Wan does have feelings. And very strong feelings if I'm definitely not mistaken, and if you've seen Attack of the Clones, you should know what I mean. Obi-Wan had an obsession, which can be considered love, which brings me to my next point (is this getting annoying yet?): Obi-Wan (A Jedi!).

Like I said before, Obi-Wan is a Jedi with a very strong obsession. Throughout Attack of the Clones, Obi-Wan was seen in very strange positions; he was seen hugging himself. If you don't believe me, I have managed to produce three pictures as evidence. In this picture ( http://www.episode-x.com/galleries/EpisodeII/chronological/Coruscant/011.jpg ), Obi-Wan can be found in a loving embrace with himself while talking with Anakin. In this picture ( http://www.episode-x.com/galleries/EpisodeII/chronological/Coruscant/obiwan_talking_anakin.jpg ), Obi-Wan can be found hugging himself while talking to Anakin (yet again). And in my final picture ( http://massassi.yavin4.com/sw_img/e2coru11.jpg ), Obi-Wan is hugging himself while talking (yes, still talking) with his beloved apprentice (heh) Anakin. Which brings me to my next point: Hugging.

Most of you know what hugging represents, but for those of you who aren't so sure, let me clarify it for you. People hug to show signs of love, which is (in case you didn't pick up yet) an emotion (like Anni!). It can be love love or just platonic love, but either way it's love, which is an (say it with me everyone!) emotion. Hugging can also represent joy, happiness, or even if you're glad to see someone. Sometimes weird people just go around hugging people at random. Most people receiving the hug are happy and joyful, except when you're a sith.

So, to prove my point, Obi-Wan has been seen hugging himself out of sheer joy or love, to which the Jedi are forbidden. Putting my evidence together, I have hereby come to a conclusion (which I have been trying to make the whole time). My conclusion, amazing as it is, is that Obi-Wan Kenobi is in love with himself.

It's so simple! How can I have not noticed for such a long time? How could a man as gorgeous as him not love himself? Everyone else loves him. Even thought it's forbidden for Jedi to love (Anni breaks the rules!) And Obi-Wan only seems to hug himself when Anakin is around. That definitely means something. Maybe he's so happy he isn't Anakin that he just has to hug himself. Or maybe he's gay and loves Anakin but he put ten years into training Anakin so some of Obi rubbed off on Anni and since it'll look weird if Obi hugs Anni Obi can just hug himself because he wants Anni to be just like him. Oww my fingers hurt.

Well then, thus ends my documentary on Obi-Wan's secret self-obsession. If this gets any reviews at all, I might make a sequel (Jedi Lies: Yoda's Enthralling Tall Tail). If you want to see this next one on ff.net, then review and you might just get it. But don't review just for the sequel 'cause I might just not do it!

~Bring Out the Jedi in You!~