I do not own Naruto or anything related.

Commentator: Hello everyone! We're back after a month hiatus, to present to you Anonymius' take on the Chuunin Exams!

Professor: I'm wondering if he'll be able to shorten it more than Masakox and Vegeta3986! Did you notice that he made the Land of Waves arc three instalments shorter?

Commentator: Pfft! He was only able to do that because he skipped most of the episodes!

Professor: To be fair it's not like Masako and Vegeta aren't innocent of skipping a bunch of episodes! They actually forwarded through one under the pretence that it was filler!

Commentator: Hey! They still kept the one scene from that episode! Anonymius skipped an entire one!

Professor: Touché. But still I wonder if Anonymius can make the 'Chuunin Exams' arc shorter than Masako's and Vegeta's!

Commentator: Wanna place a bet on it?

Professor: How much?

Commentator: How about: ONE HUNDRED TRILLION COINS!

Professor: That's a little excessive, don't you think? How about just a trillion?

Commentator: Oh fine Mr Boring! Then it's settled, if Anonymius is able to abridge all the episodes from the beginning of the Chuunin Exams to the episode where the Hokage dies- how many videos did Masako and Vegeta do?

Professor: Twelve.

Commentator: All right then! If he's able to do less than twelve, then you win. However, if he does twelve or more, then I win!

Professor: Deal.

Commentator: Now on a different topic, let's go through some of the reviews sent for our last chapter:

Great chapter and i'll keep an eye out for the chuunin exams ^^ good luck in yor other series!

Say Prof? Did Anonymius have such luck with his other works?

Professor: Well let's see. In the past month since taking a break from Naruto, Anonymius has worked on 'Philosopher's Stone with a Difference', which now has almost the same number of hits as Harry Potter and Naruto Abridged. He also concluded 'Philosopher's Stone: A different Beginning,' which now has 246 hits in total. This is a pretty good number, particularly since I think by chapter two originally it had just under 100. He's also begun two new Harry Potter AU stories, one with 46 points, the other with 17, so they're not his best.

Commentator: Why is it that every new Harry Potter AU story Anonymius starts does worse than the previous one?

Professor: I don't know. He's also started two new commentaries, one on 'Yu Yu Hakusho', and another on 'Heroes'.

Commentator: Yes Prof, I know. We've been in both. Well, how well have they done?

Professor: Nnnot as well as Naruto Abridged after its first chapter. They've both got under 40.

Commentator: WHAT?

Professor: But Yu Yu Hakusho had gotten two reviews that both praise the series and want more!

Commentator: That's good to hear!

Professor: Oh yes and he's continued with the 'Avian Menace'.

Commentator: Why? I didn't think it was doing very well!

Professor: Yeah well I think he just wanted to complete it.

Commentator: And how well has it done?

Professor: -Well, um, each new chapter seems to get about twenty hits.

Commentator: I see. So let me get this straight, Anonymius gave up a successful career as the creator of Naruto Abridged with Commentary-?

Clock: TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK-

Commentator: Uh oh! Looks like we're running out of time! Well anyway thank you for your reviews and your support and we hope that you can all find this current fic! Enjoy!

Professor: Wow! It's certainly quiet in the Naruto home!

Commentator: Shh! Let's make the most of Naruto not saying anything!

Professor: Why?

Commentator: His U.S. voice sounds like scratching a chalkboard, especially when he gets excited or emotional in any way!

Naruto: All right! Time to go out!

(As he speaks, the Commentator imagines someone scratching a chalkboard)

Naruto: Believe it!

Commentator: HAMMERSTRIKE! Huh? Where's the mallet? Oh right, my brother took it back. DAMN YOU, DARREN!

Naruto: (Grrrr. I hate Sasuke! He always gets in my way!)

Professor: Wow! If someone told you that Naruto actually grieved over Sasuke's apparent death in the 'Land of Waves Arc', they'd ask you what you were on at the time!

Naruto: You killed Sasuke! YOU KILLED SASUKE!

Haku: Hey, hold on, why are you so upset? I thought you hated him?

Naruto: I did. I WANTED TO KILL HIM!

Haku: Oh.

Sammy: Wait a minute! I thought Boss-

Commentator: No that is definitely what happened!

Sammy: No it wasn't! I remember, you-

Commentator: YES-IT-WAS!

Naruto: Sasuke always gets credit, so I'm going to work extra hard in order to beat him! Believe it!

Commentator: Sigh. I miss my mallet.

Professor: There's always your staff.

Commentator: Yeah, but that's not as fun hitting people with.

Sammy: Hey guys, look! Naruto's attempts to act better have led him to perform worse than ever before!

Commentator: Just like Heroes volume 3.

(BOM BOM BOM CH)

Sasuke: You are such a loser, Naruto.

Commentator: Don't call him a loser!

Sasuke: I didn't know you cared.

Commentator: Oh it's not that, it's just that you calling him a loser reminds me too much of Gary Oak and Pokemon. And getting over that was a very hard thing to do!

Naruto: Hey, why are we still doing these crappy little 'missions'? I thought we proved ourselves being capable of handling more serious things?

Sakura: Apparently we're to remain in the village until the plot catches up.

Sakura: Hey Sasuke! Want to go out?

Sasuke: With you? A useless character?

Sakura: (He's right! I've done practically nothing in all of our missions!)

Commentator: What are you talking about, Sakura? You've done a lot in most of your missions! You've been more useful than Naruto in this entire episode!

Sakura: And by 'missions,' I meant the 'Land of Waves Arc', which is the only mission that matters! All I did in that entire saga was stand around and cheer on the guys who were actually doing things!

Commentator: Heh heh. You know what that makes you, Sakura? That makes you: A cheerleader!

Imaginary Sakura holds pom poms and wears a cheerleader's uniform, chanting "Go Naruto! Go Sasuke!"

Sakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't want to be a cheerleader! I want to be on the pitch, not on the side!

Commentator: Oh, being a cheerleader isn't all that bad! A couple of cheerleaders have been crucial in saving the world! Course, those were blond cheerleaders. (Holding a hair dryer) So all we need to do is dye your hair! Relax; I have never done this before!

Sakura: NO ONE'S TOUCHING MY HAIR YOU FLOATING FREAK! (Punches Commentator straight in face, sending him flying into a wall)

Commentator: (Groan) Why do the shonen heroines have such bad tempers?

Professor: What are you talking about, sir?

(Misty beats up Ash Ketchum. Nami whacks Luffy and Zolo over the heads, Bulma whacks Master Roshi with a mallet. Amy hurls a mallet at Dr Robotnik's- (er, don't you mean 'Eggman?' No, NO! It's Robotnik! It's always been Robotnik! Well actually Eggman's the original name and Robotnik's just the western-Oh shut up!) ahem, hovercraft. Rukia whacks Ichigo after insulting her drawings.)

Professor: Oh. I see what you mean.

(Someone badly disguised as the floor crawls up behind Naruto)

Sammy: Hey! It's the One-Foot Tall Brick Wall!

Teneko: The One-Foot Tall Brick Wall? I LOVE THAT CHARACTER!

Commentator: Teneko? What are you doing here?

Teneko: I heard the One-Foot Tall Brick Wall was in town, so I came over to check it out. Oo, oo! Hey One Foot Tall Brick Wall, can I have your autograph?

Naruto, Konohamaru and friends: AAAAH! IT'S A MONSTER! RUN AWAY!

Teneko: No wait come back! I think you're one of the best Naruto Abridged characters ever, you could defeat the Log any day!

Commentator: This is why I never choose Teneko as an assistant commentator.

(Konohamaru bumps into Kankuro)

Sakura: Oh good! The plot's here! Hey, wait a minute! Ninja from another village aren't allowed in here!

Temari: We have a free pass enabling us to enter!

Naruto: Why are we called a 'hidden village' if people know how to find us? Just who exactly are you people?

Temari: I'm Temari.

Kankuro: I'm Kankuro.

Gaara: And I'm Gaara of the-

Naruto: Funk?

Gaara: NO! NOT OF THE FUNK! Why does everyone keep saying that? Seriously it's really annoying when you meet people and they call you 'Gaara of the Funk' and don't understand why everything doesn't change colour!

Sasuke: I know how you feel. Every time someone does a substitution when I'm around, they're all baffled as to why I don't go ballistic!

Sakura: Yeah! And thanks to 'Naruto the Abridged Series', everyone thinks that I'm a useless character!

(There is so much silence that you can hear the wind blowing)

Kakashi: And because of 'Naruto the Abridged Series', everyone assumes that I have this fixation on milk!

Naruto: Kakashi? What are you doing here?

Kakashi: I heard people complaining about how 'Naruto the Abridged Series' ruined their lives, so I thought I'd join in.

Naruto: Say Kakashi, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. How come all the countries in our world have the exact same culture and language? Not very feasible in a basically medieval world, is it?

Sasuke: Probably as plausible as the fact that the canon world's only as big as east China and Japan.

Kakashi: Now, now, Naruto. Sure we all speak the same language, eat the same type of food, have the same system of government, architecture, religion, customs, fashion, basically the same type of Japanese culture, but there are differences!

Naruto: -Such as…?

Kakashi: Well, in the Sand Village many who aren't in uniform have middle-eastern style dress.

Sasuke: -Is that it?

Kakashi: Well, um, the Thunder Country resembles Africa.

Naruto: Yeah, but that's more racially and ecologically rather than anything culturally.

Kakashi: Look, I'm not the one who came up with this world, Kishimoto is! Besides, the fact that we're so small is probably why we all have such a similar culture.

Sasuke: Well yeah but still even eastern China and Japan had separate language and customs and religion-

Kakashi: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Sasuke: Kay.

Kakashi: Besides, we wouldn't be a world of ninjas if we didn't all have the same Japanese culture, now would we?

Naruto: Well actually-

Kakashi: That's it. I've had it with you three!

Sakura: What did I do?

Kakashi: Nothing, that's the problem!

Sakura: Hey!

Kakashi: Just for that, I'm entering you into the highly competitive and deadly Chuunin Exams!

Naruto: You mean we get the chance to advance our levels and become chuunins? YAHOO! ALL RIGHT! I'd get to be one step closer into becoming Hokage!

Kakashi: Yes, but the Chuunin Exams are highly dangerous and there's a chance that you might-

Sasuke: Heh. Maybe if I advance to the rank of chuunin, I'll come closer to my goal of murdering my own brother for my own self-interest!

Kakashi: Yes, yes, that's fine and all, but the Chuunin Exams are extremely tough, far tougher than what-

Naruto: So it's settled then! We're off to the Chuunin Exams!

Sasuke: Yeah!

(Clap hands together)

Kakashi: (Grrrr. This was not my intent!) Of course, I'll give all of you a chance to think about it for a day! And don't feel any pressure about joining! (Heh heh. Little do they know that if one won't attend then none of them can! I can't wait to see the look on their faces when I tell them they can't attend because Sakura didn't want to. Mwahahaha! Mwahahaha! MWAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAA!)

Lee: Greetings, Sasuke-San. My name is Rock Lee and I-

Naruto: Ew! What's wrong with his eyes? They're all-round and stuff!

Sasuke: Maybe it's supposed to show that he's not Japanese?

Lee: Ridiculous! I'm as Japanese as Yamada Taro!

Naruto: Dude, yeh've got round eyes, an English first name and a Korean, English or Chinese last name. You couldn't be less Japanese!

Lee: Oh this is coming from someone who has blond hair and blue eyes.

Naruto: That does it you are so dead! AAAAH!

(Gets kicked aside)

Sakura: Yeah, that's kinda what we expected.

Lee: I'm here to challenge you, Sasuke Uchiha!

Sasuke: Well, normally I would let Naruto fight you first…but since he's unconscious, I guess I have no choice. But you're a fool to challenge me. I am a member of the elite Uchiha clan!

Lee: Yeah? Well I'm the direct descendant of Astroboy!

(Silence)

Sasuke: You lie!

Lee: Do I? Just look at this pic of Astroboy! Notice the similarities?

Sasuke: Hey yeah! Oh crap.

Commentator: For those of you who are confused as to why this is such a big deal, Astroboy is to anime characters what Adam is to Christians.

Sammy: What, the man who condemned all of humanity to be separated from God you mean?

Commentator: NO!

Sasuke: (Whatever magic this guy is using, my Sharingan will be able to see through it! What the?)

Lee: That's right! I'm not using either Genjutsu or Ninjutsu! It's Taijutsu!

Sasuke: You mean the really boring type of jutsu?

Lee: We'd prefer it to call it the type of jutsu that doesn't cheat! As you are well aware, there is no magic involved: just plain ordinary human ability!

Sasuke: If you're just using normal human ability then how are you able to move across the hall in the blink of an eye?

Lee: The power of anime increases ordinary human ability by tenfold!

Naruto: Groan! What happened?

Sakura: Sasuke got his butt kicked by the heir of Astroboy!

TO BE CONTINUED…

Commentator: And that's the end of Chapter One! So Sam, how much has Anonymius abridged compared to Masako and Vegeta so far?

Sammy: Well Boss, Masakox and Vegeta 8639 were able to squeeze in the first three episodes of Season Two in one video! And Anonymius has done the same!

Commentator: You mean to tell us that they're the exact same length? Oh dear! So far It looks like he won't be able to make the arc shorter than Masako's and Vegeta's, now doesn't it?

Professor: You just wait. Give it time.