Author's Note: This is written with great respect, love and gratitude for the talents of Robert Carlyle, Emilie de Ravin, all those involved in Once Upon A Time. I do not own these characters, nor any songs mentioned in this story.
I began writing this story last summer, and indeed had the plot mapped out prior to the beginning of season two. I had begun to post it on my own site, but was thrown for a loop by some of the season two RumBelle plots. Hence, I started working on other fics. Now, I hope to get back to this story. Having regrouped after season two, I have decided that this story will be quite AU. Though I will pick and choose some things from season two, for the most part I will be doing my own thing. Rumple will spend the first few days of Belle's freedom focused on Belle, as he should have on the show. Belle will not be climbing out a second story window to get away from the man making her breakfast, and Lacey will not be appearing in this story.
About the title, Belle is the ultimate 'Butterfly Effect' to Rumplestiltskin and his plans, adding chaos, but also love to his life. That said, love changes both of them in various ways. Cyber kudos to those who can figure out the significance of Belle's patient number.
The first section of this story will be the first day that Belle is out of the asylum. That day, "The Very Long Day" will be 3 or 4 chapters, then the story will progress from there. There will be various OUAT characters, some original characters, but this is primarily about RumBelle, and how they create a life together after Belle has been held captive by Regina for three decades. This story is T rated. It will have some violence, discussion of non-consensual acts, and Belle's medication withdrawal, but I will not be going overboard with the violence nor non-con. Just to be clear from the start, Belle wasn't/isn't raped in this story. This is a relationship story at its heart.
The very long day started as a routine day for patient number 682303. As routine as it could be for someone secretly locked in a mental ward for almost twenty-nine years, as part of Evil Queen Regina's power play. Patient number 682303 had finished her dinner. She was sick, bored and regretting her hasty decision from the previous day. She felt an unnamed emptiness in her spirit, as she had for nearly twenty-nine years. She used the handle of the spoon and left over beet juice to doodle on a napkin. Once finished, she tucked it in her sleeve, hoping it wouldn't be taken from her. It always seemed like things were being taken from her. Lying on her cot, the door opened, and everything changed. An orderly named, Jefferson, entered her room told her to find Mr. Gold, whoever that was, and tell him that Regina had locked her up. Wearing hospital clothing and a tweed coat borrowed from the unconscious head nurse in the mental ward of Storybrooke Hospital, 682303 was escorted by Jefferson out of the hospital and directed to Mr. Gold's shop.
The shop appeared closed, yet the door was unlocked, thus she ventured to the back room, where a man in a dark suit was standing with his back to her. 682303 asked, "Are you Mr. Gold?"
The man with a what sounded like a Scottish brogue started to speak before facing her. He seemed intent upon giving her the bum's rush out the door, until he saw her face. 682303′s day became more strange, as the man gawked at her as though she was a ghost. She managed to do as instructed by Jefferson, asking for protection from Regina. To her confusion and shock, the man, with dark chocolate eyes and flowing shoulder length dark hair with a smattering of gray, looked at her with unabashed love and hugged her in a manner that was unlike any embrace that she could remember. In truth, she could not remember ever being embraced affectionately, rather her memories were of being restrained in the asylum, yet the love infused into his embrace, she suspected was not typical even for those who are accustomed to affection. They left the store, got into his black Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham d'Elegance, drove to a wooded area and walked into the forest and up the mountain. 682303 was very unsure as to what they were doing, but she obediently followed.
As they approached a peak, a wave of light flowed through the forest. With that flow of light, everything that she knew changed. The emptiness that she had felt had a name, Rumplestiltskin. It was him! It had to be! He looked different since her time at the castle, but it was definitely him, and her name was Belle. Their last words at the castle were words of hurt and anger, after Belle made the biggest mistake of her life, taking the advice of a seemingly kind stranger, Regina. Yet Rumplestiltskin had embraced her with such love at his shop, perhaps he had forgiven her transgression. Belle's love for Rumplestiltskin seemed to be trying to burst out of her every pore. She declared her love for him, and to her delight and astonishment, he reciprocated with a declaration of love. Belle's dreams were finally coming true. Then Rumplestiltskin said, "There'll be time for that later. There'll be time for everything. But first there's something I must do." He poured True Love's Potion into the old wishing well. Purple mist appeared, and as was typical in life with Rumplestiltskin, uncertainty reigned supreme.
Now, at the peak of the forest, magical purple mist billows from the old stone wishing well. Belle's face has a look of disbelief. Rumplestiltskin, who has an expression of someone basking in victory, surveys the fruits of his labor; the True Love magic dispersing throughout the town. Shifting the position of his gold handled cane in his right hand, he looks into her bewildered blue eyes, as his left hand softly brushes aside her long chestnut brown hair.
He touches Belle on the shoulder and says, "We must get going.", then puts his arm around her guiding her onward.
Confusion floods Belle's being, as the wind kicks up and the purple magic mist engulfs the town below. They begin to descend the uneven terrain of the wooded mountain to Rumplestiltskin's car. Back in the car, his words "Magic is power.", echo in Belle's ears. Rumplestiltskin had told her that he loves her. She had been certain that he was earnest...his eyes and embrace had told her heart what she needed to know. Yet moments later, he told her "Magic is power." She couldn't help wondering what that meant for them.
The initial adrenaline rush of seeing her true love had masked her physical pain, pushing it from her consciousness. Now, as the car jarred from a bump in the road, Belle winces from the pain that is her ever present companion, however she tries her best to hide her discomfort, as she does not want to discuss it yet. Rumplestiltskin notes the confusion and disappointment on her face. He needs to get her back to the solitude of his house before he can reveal any more. Hoping that the right words will reveal themselves to him by that time, and that she will understand, he busily rattles off mundane information about the town and its residents. He keeps talking in order to dissuade Belle from posing any questions until they reach home. Belle, dizzied by the purple mist, the movement of the car and a turmoil within her body and spirit, catches on to only pieces of what Rumplestiltskin says, yet nods attentively as Rumplestiltskin continues his monologue. Her head throbs and her body feels shaky and flushed. Belle's mind is becoming as foggy as Storybrooke itself. The purple mist begins to dissipate. Once reaching town, they pass various buildings that Belle barely acknowledges, as she spends much of the time looking down at the floor mat, feeling queasy.
Pulling the car into the garage, he declares with a smile, "We're here.", and Belle smiles back, trying to hide her mounting discomfort.
She thinks to herself, "Yes, 'we're here.' I'm here, finally back with Rumplestiltskin." wincing from pain, "Now, if only this infernal headache would go away."
They exit the vehicle and the garage. She looks up at the old three story, Queen Anne Victorian, coral pink house. "It has character.", she thinks to herself, "...and it appears to have many rooms to get lost in." she worries in her disoriented state. Belle grabs the railing, as they make their way up the stairs to the porch. While Rumplestiltskin unlocks the ornate door, Belle is mesmerized by the frosted red, green, blue and gold stained glass windows that twinkle with the light passing through them.
Rumplestiltskin opens the door, then with a gallant wave of his arm, motions for Belle to enter. She tilts her head to the side and smiles, but feels a nervous flutter, as she realizes that she is not sure what she wants to say. Entering, to the right Belle notices an intricately carved staircase, then Rumplestiltskin gently guides her to the sitting room to her left. The walls and ceiling are also coral pink, and there is a lovely old chandelier in the center of the room that creates a spectrum of colors as light floods in from the bay windows. Belle is struck by the strange dichotomy in the arrangement of objects and furniture, some placements appearing well thought out, while others seem as though he had just moved in and is still deciding their proper place. Feeling as though she's being heated from the inside out, Belle struggles to regain her composure. This is the day for which she has waited so long and wants to be sweet and lovely.
Opening her mouth to speak, Belle blurts out, "What in the devil is going on?!" Both Belle and Rumplestiltskin are stunned by the outburst.
"Belle, there are some things we should discuss." Rumplestiltskin says calmly.
Belle's head begins to feel as though someone is trying to pierce it, and there is a flash of anger in her eyes, "'Magic is power'!...'Magic is power.' You told me you love me, then a minute later, you tell me, 'Magic is power.'?!"
Attempting to defuse the situation, Rumplestiltskin says, "There were things that I needed to do."
"Yes, send purple magic all over the place. Is that stuff safe? Are people going to be hurt by it?" Not giving him time to answer, stepping closer to Rumplestiltskin, "The last time I saw you...you said that your power meant more to you than I did. Is it true?"
He hesitates thinking of Baelfire. Belle's eyes become glassy and dart around the room and her mouth falls open, while she runs her hands through her hair, "It's true...isn't it? It always has been, but I was just to foolish to see it."
Rumplestiltskin attempts to strategize. He knows something that would diffuse the situation, likely leaving Belle completely disarmed, however it is not something he wishes to share, just to douse the flames of her anger.
Using another tactic, he puts his hands onto Belle's shoulders, trying to make eye contact, "It's not like that. There was...there is a reason."
Belle interrupts, "I kissed you...no, wait, my recollection is we kissed each other...you were leaning toward me, just as much as I leaned toward you. I may have been very foolish listening to that witch, Regina, but...You. Kissed. Me. Too. Then you hated me for it."
Rumplestiltskin's voice becomes low with a slight hint of frustration, "I didn't hate you." The truth that he can't bring himself to say to his darling, Belle, is that part of him had hated her. He hated, that by falling prey to Regina's trick, Belle shattered their comfortable limbo. Belle had forced his hand, and ruined his joy at seeing her every day, and for a while, a part of him had hated her, but quickly the hatred dissipated and all that remained was the love. Rumplestiltskin continues, "We both know that was not a simple kiss. You wanted to break my curse."
Belle admits, "Yes, I wanted to break your curse. I wanted us to be together...and usually, someone who has a curse wants it to be broken."
"Why didn't you talk to me about it?" Rumplestiltskin counters.
"Why didn't you keep your end of the deal and really tell me about your son? Hmm...something too hard to do?" Belle sees the affirmative answer in his eyes, "Well, I didn't want to just blurt out that I loved you...", her voice begins to crack with emotion, "...just to have you laugh at me."
Rumplestiltskin frowns in disbelief. "Laugh at you? How could you think I'd do that?"
"You gave me plenty of reasons to think that,", Belle takes a breath, then continues, "but if I broke the curse, I thought you would have been grateful that I had, and if the curse didn't break, I'd know you didn't truly love me."
"You couldn't love me with the curse.", said Rumplestiltskin, "You wanted to fix me."
An infuriated Belle chides, "Stop rewriting our history! That's not how it was! I made every excuse I could to talk to you...to be near you. I thought it would be easier without the curse...I thought you'd truly let me in, if it was gone."
"That's not who I am." says a stoic Rumplestiltskin.
Wishing to refute his statement about her motives, Belle fires back, "Who are you then? I spent two months trying to figure it out. Every time I thought I was getting close to an answer, you would play some trick on me or make a joke, and I was back where I started...with no one to talk to for guidance to understand this whirlwind named, Rumplestiltskin."
Defensively, Rumplestiltskin says, "I was just teasing you. I thought you enjoyed my quips."
"I did...I do, but I was smart enough to know that they were meant to keep me off balance and at a distance, so I was never really certain of your feelings."
Rumplestiltskin counters, "How can you say you weren't sure? You seemed certain when we kissed."
"Remember when you told me that you were a difficult man to love?", Belle asks.
Rumplestiltskin recalls the moment when he stopped Belle from uncovering the mirror, and then lingered with his hand on her waist. Belle continues, "Remember what you were doing when you said that? How you held me and nuzzled against my hair?"
A mixture of guilt and wistful pleasure sweeps it's way across Rumplestiltskin's face. Belle explains, "You were always sending me mixed messages. You were only half right."
"What's that suppose to mean?" Rumplestiltskin asks in an irritated tone.
Belle responds, "You are the most difficult, infuriating, frustrating man that I've ever known! But you were easy for me to love. In that moment, I knew nothing of true love's kiss, nor its effect on curses. I just ached for you. I loved you, and I felt myself having feelings...so many feelings that I had never felt. I was so confused...nothing I knew made sense."
"Of course loving me didn't make sense. Indeed, can you sincerely say that you wanted me when we stood by the mirror?", Rumplestiltskin queries.
Belle steps closer to him, looking directly into his eyes, "I wanted to give the whole of myself to you...and having you change was not a requirement for my love. It was all so confusing. It was not what I was taught. Women in our world were treated as just so much chattel, in arranged marriages where the husband was paid a nice dowry for taking the woman off the father's hands. Women weren't suppose to have desires, not for any man. Even with husbands, that kind of contact was suppose to be just a chore on our lists, not something to be enjoyed. Your touch left me breathless and wanting more. But I didn't know if I could trust you...I didn't know if you loved me or just wanted to get your hands on me."
Shocked, Rumplestiltskin says, "How can you say that, Belle? I loved you so much! You were the only person who could reach me, since I lost my son."
Belle firing back, "You never said that, and I was forever off balance with your jokes...I didn't want to be a fool to another one of your little quips. You always had to be changing position, never letting anyone pin you down. Did you ever once consider looking for me after I left the castle?"
"Regina told me that you died.", he explains solemnly.
Belle responds with a pained expression, "I know. Regina use to get immense pleasure from telling me about it. But before she came to you, did you ever consider looking for me?"
Choosing not to answer, he asks, "Why couldn't you have been satisfied with what we had? You just had to push and change everything." he says with frustration in his voice.
A shocked Belle, gestures to herself, "Me? You told me to go to town, and that you didn't expect to see me again."
"Yes, because I loved you.", Rumplestiltskin explains.
"Yes, I figured that out eventually, because that's what Regina told me. She knew just how to play her game, because she knew you were keeping me in the dark. Not telling me things, like why the mirror was covered.", says Belle.
Rumplestiltskin takes an authoritarian tone, "There were things that I didn't think you needed to know."
Belle glares at him and with a tone of sarcasm says, "That turned out splendidly." Her mocking stokes a fire within him wishing to set her straight, but before he can do so, Belle instructs, "Rumplestiltskin, close your eyes."
He protests, "What? Why?"
"Just do it.", Belle matches his protest. Rumplestiltskin does so with jaw clenched. "Can you see me?", she asks.
"No.", he answers.
"Good...can you hear me?", the sarcasm clear in her voice.
He glares at Belle, "I'm the one who plays games, am I now?"
Belle counters, "I learned from the best, but you never taught me to beware of that lunatic, who was obsessed with causing misery."
"That is no excuse for not talking to me about the kiss.", Rumplestiltskin redirects.
Belle explains, "When she stopped me on the road, I suddenly had someone to talk to about my confusion over my feelings for you. I was naive, foolish and desperate for someone, who seemed to have knowledge in the ways of love. Once I heard about true love's kiss, I realized it was the only way to be sure if you loved me or not." Belle gives a chuckle of irony and disdain. "...and I thought 'What would be the harm?'." Shaking her head, "I got my proof that you loved me, then you treated me like some...", she starts to stammer, "...some thing that you were done with and wanted to dispose of. Some thing that had gotten stuck to the shoe of the great, and oh so perfect, Rumplestiltskin. Do you have any idea what that felt like?...what that does to a person? Regina was right, I did die...I felt myself die when you cast me off. My world was torn into a millions little pieces...and part of me hated you for it."
Rumplestiltskin stands silent in cold shock at Belle's statement. Belle continues, "...but more than that, I hated me. I loved you so much, but I did some stupid thing, that I really didn't understand. I hated that you could make me feel so small...I hated that I still loved you desperately, and if you said the word or snapped your fingers, I'd still have come running...willing to be with you any way that you wanted, just so I could be near you. I thought when you calmed down that you would come after me..." then her voice becomes a mournful whisper,"...but you never did."
Rumplestiltskin's eyes lower momentarily to the floor. Belle wipes her face of the one tear that left her eyes without permission, then she walks around the room seemingly lost, as she grapples with the knowledge that nothing is going how she pictured it a million times before. Talking about the painful memories is not what she wants. She had planned to start anew, yet now every time she speaks the hurt and broken parts of her force their way out. Rumplestiltskin thinking about that day, and his decisions thereafter, he searches his mind through his own guilt.
Then an unexpected question emerges from his lips, "So you would have given up having a family to be with me?" His tone turns sarcastic, posing what he thinks is an absurd question, and his hand flourishes dramatically, "Or would you have had children with me?", his hand resting upon his chest.
Belle answers emphatically, "Yes. You would have been my family, and if you wanted to have children with me, I would have done that too. I thought about that so many nights in my room. I didn't know if it was possible for us to have children, or how that would have worked. But, yes, I would have had your children, and I would have adored them, because they would have come from our love...but you never gave me a chance. You were just too caught up in showing that you were better than me."
"Better than you?!", he says, stunned by the idea.
Belle in a resentful tone, "Yes, better than me...lord and master, Rumplestiltskin, who occasionally deigned to associate with such a mere mortal as me. The day you held me, if I had kissed you like I wanted, what would you have done then?" She steps back from him and rests her hand on an antique cabinet positioned against the wall.
Biding his time for a reasonable answer to occur to him, "I'm not sure what you're asking."
Belle's tone momentarily softens, looking intently into his eyes, "I wanted to kiss you in that moment...I wanted to do all sorts of things." A hint of a smile curls the corner of Rumplestiltskin's mouth. Belle continues, "If I had kissed you, with no knowledge of true love's kiss, and you started to change, would you still have blamed me?" The smile flees Rumplestiltskin's lips, taking in the seriousness of Belle's query. Her brow furrows, and very angry edge comes to Belle's voice, "Would the great Rumplestiltskin have absolved himself of all responsibility and put it all on my shoulders?"
A silence envelopes the room, and a distraught Belle chastises herself, "I have to stop antagonizing him. I'm ruining everything, again." Wanting to cry, Belle's headache becomes more severe, and the beginnings of a vertigo like experience emerge, as she tries harder look into his eyes and focus. If he didn't want her in the past, would he ever truly want her?, she wonders. A sense of despair, rains across her being as she questions how he will ever be able to love this broken person that she's become. Feeling like a mad woman blurting out things that she shouldn't, how will he be able to love her once he knows the truth? Knowing one day she will have to tell him, and he likely won't be able to live with the knowledge of her past, and will cast her aside, one final time, she sinks into sorrow.
Rumplestiltskin, feeling as though Belle's eyes are trying to tear right through him, ponders their last moments together in the castle. They both had said hurtful things in those last moments. He knows he had hurt her. Indeed, he had intended to hurt her. However, not until now, in the silence of the room with her blue eyes staring him down, had the realization of how deep he had cut her occurred to him. He had been so happy to have her back...alive...saying that she loves him, but now, Rumplestiltskin is having trouble seeing the way forward. Every path seems to lead to her inevitably leaving him...alone and devastated again.
Looking at Belle's hand gripping the cabinet ever tighter, Rumplestiltskin begins to consider her state. He had observed her hand moments before, but attributed her tight grip to an effect of rage. Now, something just doesn't seem right. Her eyes seem to be straining, and there is a paleness about her face. Seeing Belle's grip shift and a look of worry erupts from her eyes, Rumplestiltskin quickly moves to her side as her legs buckle. He catches her with an arm around her ribs to steady her, as she stifles a scream from the pain.
The connection that he had once had with her is gone, and now he must rely on deducing her state from her body language. "Belle, please sit down.", he motions to the couch, "There's so much I need to tell you." She stumbles as she walks, but rights herself. "Belle, are you alright?", Rumplestiltskin asks in a worried tone.
She seats herself, "I'm fine...I'm sorry...we shouldn't talk about the past." Belle says trying to smooth things over, "There's no point to it, just please explain to me what is happening now and why?"
Noticing her drawn features, "Do you want something to eat or drink?" he asks.
Belle's stomach clenches at the thought of food, as her dinner twists inside her. "Some water would be nice. Thank you."
He goes to the kitchen to get the water. Belle leans forward on the couch holding her head in her hands. The muscles in her eyes constrict. Rumplestiltskin notices her physical strain as he reenters, "Here you go, my dear." he says, handing her the glass.
Belle reaches for the glass, but as she grips with her right hand, she realizes that she can't hold it single handed and quickly brings up her other hand to steady the glass. Rumplestiltskin watches the water quaking as she brings it to her lips, gulping thirstily. He observes that while her right hand seems weakened, her left hand appears damaged in some way.
Calmly he says, "Belle, we can talk about this later."
Belle urges, "No, please tell me what's going on. Is there more to this than power?"
Rumplestiltskin begins to explain, "Belle, it is about what I need the power for...maybe if I had told you this years ago, we...", his voice trails off, "I need you to know that I always loved you. Please don't doubt that." Belle blinks away tears. He continues, "I'm sorry for the way that I lashed out at you after we kissed. It's something that I've regretted for so long. Long ago, long before anyone that you know was born, I lost my son and swore never to love another person." At that moment, Belle lurches forward with a pain that shoots through her entire body. "Belle! What's going on?!", Rumplestiltskin exclaims.
Unable to keep up the pretense of being fine, "I'm just not feeling well, but please don't stop. I need to know the truth."
Rumplestiltskin says firmly, "No, it can wait. Let me get you up to stairs and draw you a nice warm bath."
Her eyes grow wide and she shakes her head, "No, cold."
"Cold?", Rumplestiltskin, says with a tone of confusion.
"Very cold!", Belle confirms emphatically. He touches her cheek and feels that she is indeed hot to the touch.
As she stands, her legs wobble, and he puts his left arm around her, as they walk to the stairs and ascend. In his loneliness at this house, Rumplestiltskin had kept one bedroom ready for a guest that he never expected to come. Figuring if all went well, one day, perhaps Bae could stay in that room or any room of his choosing. Having some sundries in the adjacent bath, he isn't sure if he has anything appropriate for a female guest.
Entering the guest room which is next to his own room, Rumplestiltskin guides Belle to a green brocade wing-back chair, positioned to the right of bathroom door. "Sit here for a moment. I will make certain that you'll have what you need. Then your bath will be ready momentarily."
Touching his arm, "No need to go through a lot of trouble for me, Rumplestiltskin. The hospital is hardly a place of royal treatment." The irony of that statement hits them both simultaneously, as they both shake their heads.
Rummaging through the bathroom cabinets, he readies towels, wash rags, soap, shampoo...and spots lavender bubble bath in the back of a drawer. Not recalling when he bought such a thing, Rumplestiltskin is relieved to have something that is pampering for his Belle. He draws the cold water into the claw foot tub. He returns to Belle, "Alright then, your bath awaits you.", he says with a smile.
"Thank you; that's kind of you.", Belle says, lightly touching his arm, then carefully she rising from her seat.
Entering the bathroom together, he instructs her on the use of the retrofitted shower attachment, "If you would like to use the shower head, it detaches from the hook here, then flip this knob, turn those knobs. Do you need any help?"
Both suddenly feel awkward with that question. "Uh, no thank you...I can handle things from here.", Belle says shyly. He exits, and Belle, feeling wobbly and disoriented, looks around getting familiarized with her surroundings. Rumplestiltskin sits on the bed, looking around the room, to see if any adjustments need to be made.
"Rumplestiltskin?", Belle says popping her head out of the slightly ajar door. "If it's alright with you, I'm going to lay these clothes on the chair, but don't look."
"As you wish, Belle."
She starts to disrobe, having the door open just a crack to reach through and deposit the clothes on the chair. The edge of a piece of paper hangs out from the bundle of clothes. Once Belle is done and closes the door, Rumplestiltskin goes to his room and opens the wardrobe, pulling out one of his plush robes. He could conjure her some clothing, but he doesn't want to seem presumptuous. Additionally, the thought of Belle wearing his robe brings a smile to his face. Next, he grabs a bottle of leave in conditioner and a comb.
Belle, in her bubble bath, relishes the cold. She never would have believed that she would ever want a cold bath again. However though it makes her shiver a bit, the cold is clearing some of the fog from her mind, greatly improving her state. The scent of the lavender relaxes her. An impulse strikes her, and she grabs her nose and takes as deep a breath as she dares, then immerses herself entirely. The cold and the solitude soothe her mind, as she ponders the unlikely events of this day.
Rumplestiltskin returns to the guestroom with his robe, the conditioner and comb. He places the conditioner and comb on the night stand and begins to pace, wondering about Belle's state. Belle still completely immersed, realizes she has stayed under the water too long as a pain originating in her ribcage tears its way through her entire being.
Jolting up out of the water with a loud gasp, Rumplestiltskin hears the commotion and asks in a worried tone, "Belle, are you alright?!"
Feeling a bit embarrassed, "Yes, yes, I'm fine. I'll be out soon." She gulps nervously realizing she has nothing to wear. "One thing at a time." she tells herself, "I can get through this, one thing at a time." In her tension, she scratches at a small scar on her upper left arm. Then, she quickly washes her hair, uses the shower head to rinse her hair and is ready to get out. Gripping the side of the tub, she tries to get up, but slips back down. "Oh no, I have to be able to do this.", she says to herself. Belle tries getting up again, landing with a thud this time.
Concerned, Rumplestiltskin asks, "Belle, do you need help?" There is silence as she debates what to do. "Belle?", he calls in a mildly panicked tone.
Surrendering to the inevitable, a nervous Belle says, "Uh yes, I'm having trouble standing back up...my legs are weak, and it's too slippery."
"I'm coming in.", Rumplestiltskin declares.
"Wait. Just don't look, alright." Belle requests nervously.
"I won't. It'll be okay. I'll be right with you darling.", Rumplestiltskin reassures her. He goes to the hall chest, grabbing the biggest towel that he has, then slings his robe across the back of his neck. "Alright now, here I come." Rumplestiltskin announces. He opens the door, looking up at the ceiling with the large towel stretched out wide in front of him, using his right hand to hold both his cane and the right side of the towel. Reaching the tub, he says, "Here, grab my arm. Can you pull yourself up?"
"Yes, I can do that." Belle confirms. She grips his arm, and the water from her hands soaks through his sleeve. "I'm sorry, but I got your jacket wet."
Realizing he forgot to take off his suit jacket, "It's fine. It's just a suit."
The shift in weight against his arm tells him that she made it to a standing position. Looking at the ceiling, Belle's distorted reflection in the metal rim of the light catches his eye...he notices a brownish-purplish mark at the left side of her rib cage, and though the image is distorted, he can see a lump there.
"You promised not to look!" Belle scolds him.
"Yes, I'm sorry...I wasn't really looking.", redirecting his eyes to another part of the ceiling.
She wraps the towel around herself, then braces herself using his arm and steps out onto the rug in front of the tub. Once she has stable footing, Rumplestiltskin removes the robe from around his neck and presents it to her to wear, as he continues to gaze at the ceiling.
Getting his robe on and tied, Belle says, "Thank you." in a sweet, shy tone.
"All covered then?" he asks.
"Yes, you can look now.", she confirms.
Rumplestiltskin notes that Belle looks adorable in his robe, which is clearly too big for her, and he hands her a towel for her hair. Loving the feel of Rumplestiltskin's robe against her skin, Belle notices that it smells like him, a realization that makes the robe even more enjoyable.
"Belle, I think you should lie down for a while." he says with a concerned tone to his voice.
"You're probably right.", Belle agrees. Pulling back the blanket, she climbs into the bed.
Rumplestiltskin informs Belle, "In a while, I can see about getting you some proper clothes."
Belle's expression changes to worry as she bites her bottom lip. "What's wrong?", he asks.
Belle stammers, trying to explain, "I don't know how to say this, but it feels strange for you to do that. I...I mean, you'll be seeing my...my undergarments before you're invited to." Belle's face turns beet red, at the thought of what she just implied.
"Invited to?" Rumplestiltskin says, as the comment is too tempting to let pass.
"I mean...that is...you're a man" a tone of frustration claims her voice, "Oh, you know what I mean!"
"Oh of course, dearie. Just so I know, will this invitation be arriving by carrier dove?", he teases. Belle swats him with a pillow. Trying to sound conciliatory, Rumplestiltskin says, "I'm sorry for teasing you, but you're so beautiful when you're flustered."
"Beautiful? I think your eyes have gone bad.", Belle says, with a tone of self derision. He looks at her puzzled, then worry overtakes him, remembering the mark on her rib cage. "You saw it, didn't you? Ugly thing.", Belle sighs.
"Only for a moment.", he sits next to her on the edge of the bed, "Please, Belle, tell me what happened.", implores Rumplestiltskin.
"Regina and her guards can be overzealous sometimes. It never healed quite right. I really don't want to talk about it now."
Rumplestiltskin's stomach clenches at the thought. "I'll handle Regina.", he says in a seething tone.
"No! Please...do we have to deal with this now?", says Belle becoming upset.
"No, we don't. I will.", he says, firmly with an tinge of hostility to his voice.
Becoming more emotional, Belle urges, "Please stop this. I'm afraid."
Taken aback, he questions, "Afraid? Of me?"
Belle explains with a vulnerable tone to her voice, "We're here. We're together, but it all feels like some dream that I might wake from at any moment. I'm afraid of you, of me, of everything blowing away with the wind."
He attempts to reassure her, "It's alright, Belle. I'm here. I'll protect you. I'll take care of everything."
"But I don't want that!", Belle protests with an expression that is both fragile and strong.
"What do you mean? You came to me for protection.", he says, bewildered by her stance.
Belle responds, "Yes, when I didn't remember. Now, I do, and I can't lose you again! I can't let Regina hurt you, because of me. I'd rather be dead!"
Horrified, Rumplestiltskin exclaims, "No! Don't say that! Don't ever say that, Belle!"
"You don't know what it was like. In our realm, knowing every day that you were possibly in danger, because of me. I didn't know if our kiss had permanently weakened you. I nearly went mad with worry. If you retaliate, she'll retaliate, and where does it end?", she asks with pleading eyes.
In a determined tone, he says, "There's nothing to worry about here. I've got more power than Regina. She won't win this one."
"Power doesn't matter. I saw what she was like, and I'm quite certain that she has no soul. There's no winning with that.", Belle starts to cry, "Either you'll end up dead or you'll lose your soul trying to beat her at her own game. That's not winning. That's sacrifice! And I won't have you sacrifice your life or your soul because of me."
Becoming agitated and defiant, Rumplestiltskin responds, "What do you expect me to do? Let her get away with what she did to you...to us? Do you really expect me to just lay down and take it...submit to her machinations? I won't do it!"
Belle leans toward him, seeming to search his eyes for answers to unasked questions, and says, "I don't know. I don't know what I expect you to do. There's too much swimming in my head right now. I'm trying to be level headed, because I don't want us to lose each other again, but I feel anything but level headed. I'm frightened. I'm angry. There's a part of me that feels like it hates everyone and everything, but especially Regina. I didn't use to be like this, and it scares me. When I came to you for protection, protection was a clear thing...protection from some random person, who locked me up and used to peak in on me from time to time. But now I remember, I remember how she used my gullibility to rip us apart. I remember how much it hurt to lose you. Maybe I need you to protect me from me...from letting these feelings control me." Belle's tears fall rapidly, and Rumplestiltskin pulls her in for an embrace. With a breath weighted with emotion, Belle whispers, "Can you ever really forgive me? You know I wasn't trying to kill you, right?" Rumplestiltskin pulls her out of the embrace and wipes his hand across her tear covered face, crinkles his forehead in a way that always used to elicit a smile from her lips. He smiles softly, gazing at her with nurturing eyes. Still unsure, Belle reiterates, "You know that, don't you?"
"Yes, I know that.", he cups her cheek in his hand, "I suppose on some level, I knew it even when I made the accusation. I was just so blinded by rage, over what was happening. Yes, I forgive you. I forgave you long ago. What I couldn't forgive was myself...for not keeping you with me...for allowing you to die. Now, that I know that you're alive, and that all these years you were so close to me, suffering, I'm not sure how I'll forgive myself for not knowing...for not keeping you safe."
Belle urges, "Rumplestiltskin, please, you have to forgive yourself. Regina took away our past. We can't let her take away our present too. I love you, and I'm here. That's all I want. I know I'm asking a lot...maybe more than I deserve, but I just want you to love me. Even when I'm completely irrational, please love me."
Rumplestiltskin pulls her back in for another embrace, and sighs, "Well, my darling Belle, that is the easiest request I've ever granted. I love you. I love you, as though you're part of my bones. You're a part of me that can't be removed." Belle nuzzles her head against his neck. Rumplestiltskin feels her breathing and muscles start to relax, as he holds her and strokes her back. They linger in their entwinement, taking in the sensation of the miraculous second chance they've been given.
Author's Note: Please leave a comment/review of this chapter. I love to read your thoughts on my stories. Anybody know where I got Belle's patient number from?
I'm happy and honored to announce that June 25th my story "Not Just A Cup" won Best One-Shot Fan Fiction in the Once Upon A Fan Awards 2013. I took a gamble submitting a story in which a character of my own creation, RumBelle's daughter Clarice, is a focal point, but people responded quite well. Thank you to everyone for your support! Thank you, my darling husband Frank, for encouraging me, helping me brainstorm, proofing and suggesting the B.C. Rich Warlock electric guitar for Clarice and having her have a poster of Nikola Tesla himself (not just his coils)! Thank you, Elisa for proofing help! Thank you, Terri, for being designated cheerleader to encourage my writing! In the Once Upon A Fan Awards for the show itself, Robert Carlyle (tweet at robertcarlyle_) won Best Actor, and Lana Parrilla (tweet at LanaParrilla) won Best Actress. Our lady Belle, Emilie de Ravin (tweet at emiliederavin) won 2nd place, followed by Jennifer Morrison 3rd, Ginnifer Goodwin 4th and Meghan Ory 5th. Given the minimal amount of on air time that Emilie de Ravin had in season 2, her 2nd place showing is quite impressive. If you would like to point this out to Adam, Eddy and Jane and hint that fans want more Emilie air time in season 3, than we got in season 2, here are their Twitter addresses: Adam (tweet at AdamHorowitzLA), Edward Kitsis (tweet at jollychan4) and Jane (tweet at JaneEspenson).