A/N: This was a random fic I found on my computer. I don't think I ever published it or finished it. Please review so I know whether or not I should continue.

Disclaimer: I only own Scarlett!

I missed him. I missed him so much. I missed his blue eyes, silver hair and how he always knew what I was thinking. But I made a decision eight months ago, a decision that changed our lives. I knew the minute I heard "Oshimaida" that our past was coming back to haunt us. Even as the director, ex-director, of NCIS I made some decisions that I wasn't particularly proud of. My mistake was not shooting her seven years ago and when I decided to end it at the diner eight months ago, I needed Frank's help. If Jethro trusted him with his life, it was good enough for me. I wasn't going to die. My life wasn't going to end there; I had to bring another life to this world, a baby girl, Scarlett, now two months old.

I told Frank's that I needed his help; I told him that Jethro was also in danger. He agreed. He didn't know my plan, damn it; I didn't even know my plan. All I knew was that I had a dead prostitute's body in the back of my car. She was my replacement, and now the dead and cremated Jenny Shepard. I recall as we were waiting for the time to pass, we had an emotional conversation, something I didn't know Mike was capable of. He had to bring up the past of Jethro and I.

"When I first heard that Decker died of a heart attack, I was relieved." It sounded harsh, but it was true.

"Gibbs did say you were complicated."

I continued as if I wasn't interrupted, "relieved because I always knew that there was a chance this could come back to haunt us. And it's my fault" I felt the tears in my eyes starting to build, but I didn't want to cry, not now "I made some choices I'm not particularly proud of."

"We all have," he said and brought the cigarette to his mouth.

I looked at him, "even Gibbs?"

"He let you go didn't he?" he said as he turned to face me.

"No, he didn't. He didn't it into my five-point plan."

"Back to choices. You made your bed." He said taking his cigarette to his mouth again.

"What if I don't want to sleep in it?" my eyes were stinging, the tears were getting harder and harder to hold back.

He chuckled. I saw the smoke come out from his nose as he did so.

"Gibbs know?"

At the time I thought he meant my feelings for him. No, Jethro didn't know. He didn't know how much I loved him. He didn't know I had a baby, his baby. He didn't know that I told Ziva and Tony to take the rest of the trip off. But I wasn't prepared to admit this to Mike, yet. So I simply replied to him.

"Would it make a difference?"

"He came back, didn't he?" He said a matter-of-factly.

"He came back for the job," as I said this I looked out the window and let a small tear escape and quickly roll down my cheek.

"Well, that would explain all the conversations we had on my boat" I looked at him, a part of me hoped that Gibbs had cared enough about me to talk to Mike about it. Yet another part of me was also worried. Worried about what he said about me. What if he told Franks that he no longer loved me? What if…

Mike interrupted my thoughts, "you know, about the job," I quietly let out a sigh, "you're still young, you got plenty of time to make it right."

He was right; I was going to make it right by leaving him. I would be permanently erased from his life. Now when I give it more thought. I wished that I had the courage to tell him how I felt. But I guess it's too late now to be regretting. Jethro had finally moved on with his life, or so I've heard from Mike.

I had this plan for months. I had given Ducky a Jane Doe's blood to test, knowing that the Jane Doe had a type of heart disease which was fatal. Ducky gave me pain-killers to ease of the pain which I was meant to have if I had really had the disease. I also made him promise me never to tell Jethro, so that it would seem more believable. Although, I did deliberately let Jethro run into Ducky and I talking a couple of times so that he would suspect that something was wrong. I figured that it would be best, after my supposed death, that Jethro found out it was the more 'merciful' way for me to have died.

After what felt like hours of waiting, Mike said

"You know, when I asked you if Gibbs knew, I wasn't talking about your feelings for him. I was asking if he knew you were sick," he looked right at me, it seemed as though he was staring into my eyes trying to pick up whether or not I was lying to him, "you gonna lie to me now?"

Crap. He wasn't meant to know. It would now make it a hell lot harder for me to explain later.

"What makes you think I'm sick?" I tried to deny it, starring right at Franks trying to hide the shock in my voice.

"A person gets a look in their eye when time's running out."

He was lying. I wasn't dying, I wasn't even sick. Unless you count being pregnant sick and there was no way that Mike had seen me go through morning sickness.

"You're not that good."

He chuckled. Thank-god he didn't know that I was pregnant, yet. He didn't know that I was lying to him and that this was my entire plan, yet.

"Found you pills," he said after a while. I tried to act annoyed.

"You went through my purse?"

He replied quickly "Your purse and your cell phone and your glove box."

"Just being thorough?" my tone raised. Now I really was annoyed. I could handle my purse and glove box, but my cell, my cell had confidential contacts on my cell.

"You blame me?" he was pissed now.

I smiled and looked down. I was going to answer his question,

"Gibbs doesn't know."

He glared at me "What are you waiting for?"

"Good question."

When the shooters entered, it began. No, I didn't die, in fact the only injury I had was a shot to my left arm, which had now left a scar. Mike was out back when I took down all five of the shooters. When he heard the guns fire he ran to the diner, to find me dragging a body from the trunk the car.

It was then that I knew that I would have to explain myself. I cut in before he could have the chance to get pissed at me. My exact words were:

"Before you jump down my throat I want you to know that I'm pregnant. With Jethro's child" I choked "I needed this to end, it was my mistake and I ended it. I don't want Jethro to find out that I was ever pregnant, especially not with his child. I need them all to think that I'm dead and I hope you can help me to convince them that I'm dead. I also need a place to stay, permanently. In my will all my belongings will be transferred to your account, so that it will manage our financial problems."

After hearing this, he agreed on me staying at his place in Mexico. I would have a new life as his too-young-girlfriend. At first he said it would be better if I became his daughter, but it was too difficult finding me a mother, since Franks wasn't exactly a woman's man. Although, we both made an agreement: in front of other people we would be a happy couple. But f it was just the three of us, franks would become the Uncle Mike of Scarlett. Mike asked me a question, a tough question: "why don't you want him to know?" It was because I knew that he never loved me. It was because I was afraid that he would stay with me for the baby and not because he loved me.

"because it's best for him."