"Which one am I? The first? The second? The third?"
The body of a young woman drifted onto the shore, her body near lifeless, save for the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She looked up to the vast sky with red eyes, her questioning orbs adjusting to the twilight.
The ocean gently licked at her pallid skin, her hair drifting with the flow of the tide. A moment may have passed. An eternity may have passed. Time ceased to be relevant. All that mattered was the question.
"What am I doing here?"
With a whisper she spoke aloud to the desolate wind.
"He rejected it, didn't he?"
The cool liquid washed into her mouth, saturating her lungs. There was no urge to cough or gag.
"It tastes like blood."
With an unsteady hand she turned onto her side, then onto hands and knees.
"It's red…"
The sand was tinted red, the water stained with the crimson liquid.
"Her blood. My blood."
She rose from her prostrate position and began walking down the shore.
Tears fell upon azure eyes, their gaze empathetic and empty. A bandaged arm reached up to stroke his cheek, but her face remained passive, empty.
His grip lessened, then let go altogether. Shinji fell to his side, next to Asuka, and stared at her, his eyes flowing with tears.
His face was a flurry of emotions, sadness, anger, happiness, relief. Asuka turned her head to face him. Her mouth moved.
"Idiot."
Shinji Ikari looked out of the window of the train, watching the world pass by him in fleeting flurries. He sighed as he watched the world pass before him. He looked to his left, gazing at who was across from him. There was a mother and her child, both asleep and hands entwined. From their window he could see the ruined hole that Tokyo III once sat upon, and looked upon the steel web being constructed over it so that a city would hang over the geofront once more.
The sun cast an orange hue upon the world, its setting basking everything in its warm glow. Slowly the darkness began to flow into the world, the lights within the train activating wordlessly. The mother and child had awoken and left without his realization. Hours passed. Soon, this would be the last train.
Numerous thoughts filtered through his mind without any real direction, striking his head with a whim.
Three whole years had passed since then, some things had changed, and others had not. Humanity was still here, still clinging, still striving, and still flourishing.
He shifted uncomfortably in his seat; eyes still caught staring into the darkness of nowhere.
When he had rejected Instrumentality, so had the rest of humanity, yet not all wished to hold onto their individuality. Quite a few, those impoverished, those struggling to exist, those who did not have the strength to continue took another form. They were coerced into other life forms, some taking the form of plants and trees, seeding themselves where they found the most solace, while others took the form of vast creatures.
Shinji Ikari turned his head away from the window behind him, regarding those around him. There were few aboard this train, most just drunk salary men, barely able to stay conscious. His attention turned back to the outside.
The train took its way nearby the sea side, for the combined attack upon Tokyo III, and Instrumentality had drastically altered the landscape: Tokyo III was now directly next to the ocean on the eastern side. Out in the dark Shinji could see brilliant lights of such a creature floating along with the wind; it looked like a cross between so many different animals, and also of so many abstract ideas given shape.
"Like dreams given form…" Shinji muttered as he watched the form cross the night sky, lightly illuminating the water in a brilliant display of every color he could think of, and some he could not.
Perhaps creature was not the accurate term, more along the lines of numerous smaller creatures, each building the form of a larger creature, creating a colony of sorts that were both one and not. There were hundreds upon thousands of such creatures, all benign in their nature, doing their best to avoid humanity. They drifted upon the winds, atop the waves, beneath the earth and beneath the sea, benign. Where they went, life sprouted in their wake.
They were collectively known as Apotheosis. These creatures had no hate, no desire to do battle with humans, or anything for that matter. They simply existed, floating above hate, war, pestilence, love, peace. Humanity did nothing to it, and it did nothing to humanity. Pure and absolute apathy.
Science and the Dead Sea Scrolls had figured out where they had come from, but had no idea how they worked, or even existed.
So much had changed.
After all that had happened, the world demanded an explanation, and it was granted. It was a doctored truth; there was nothing in it about Seele, or instrumentality. Rather, the "secret war" against the Angels was made known. It contained the details of what happened to the rest of humanity, those not strong enough to stand, their fate as the Apotheosis. It was made known that in their moment of triumph; the hero of humanity, Shinji Ikari, had stricken them down.
It sickened him, that word. Hero.
There was no mention of Asuka, who had fought harder, lost just as much, if not more than Shinji. There was no mention of Rei, for whom this was all she was.
All that was left was him, paraded around as a savior.
They had only been left upon that beach for only a few hours, maybe a day at most. Shinji and Asuka were quickly retrieved, both put into quarantine, debriefed, observed, monitored, and analyzed. The leaders of men were not without their "humanity".
These were the saviors of humanity!
They were given the best physical and psychological treatment from the best doctors around the world. Shinji and Asuka ended all the better, fit members of society, capable of coping with all that the world could throw at them.
That was a year ago, and Shinji hoped to God that they were right. He no longer felt as if he had to struggle to keep his head above the tide, no longer depressed. But neither was he happy.
As Shinji began to doze away, lulled by the ticking of tracks, the beams of another train blinded him, snapping him awake as the train passed by.
Countless windows alight with white light passed by him, most with few people within, some with one or two passengers within each car. The last car began to streak by when something caught Shinji's eyes.
Red. Blue.
It was but for a fleeting moment, but for that moment, he saw. A girl he had thought he lost forever. Her hair was azure, eyes a blood red. She stood in a heavy raincoat, holding onto a handle despite the availability of seats. She had gotten a little taller from what Shinji could tell, but this was someone he knew.
This was Rei Ayanami.
Shinji leaped out of his seat, unconsciously slamming his hands against the window. He awoke several of the drunkards, eyes snapping open with a mumble of complaint.
A husky man's voice snapped to life upon the intercom, "This is The Shiku stop."
The train reacted by stopping before a brightly lit station platform, doors sliding open.
"Please do not forget your belongings and have a nice day." The voice continued, snapping off as quickly as it had come on.
Shinji wearily stood up and got off the train. He looked around; no one else had gotten off with him. All he could hear was the light trickle of a drizzle striking the earth; a breeze from the seaside rushing through the open platform.
He left the platform, letting his feet take him along the well tread path, questions burning their way through his mind.
Was that Ayanami? What was she doing there? She's alive? Was this why they never found her? Was the government lying? What do I tell Misato, Asuka?
Just as the final question probed his mind, he found himself standing before a house. His house. A humble, two story home, complete with garage, driveway and front yard. The light drizzle had begun to turn into a downpour, and Shinji quickly raced his way to the door, using his case as a crude shield.
He tested to door to find it unlocked. After he had told the two of them to always lock the door. Well, in a nice neighborhood such as this, that might not be necessary, but still…
Slipping of his shoes, Shinji entered, announcing himself "I'm home."
"Welcome home Shinji!" Misato called from the couch, eyes glued to the television set depicting some kind of survival show, hand holding a cold soda.
A sight Shinji still had problems adjusting to.
"You idiot! What took you so long!?" Shinji could hear from the kitchen, followed by the clang of pots and pans. "You decide to leave Misato and me high and dry with the cooking! Just because on a whim you decided to 'join a club' "
"Sorry, Asuka…" Shinji absentmindedly replied as he slid off his shoes.
His mind was still caught upon what he had seen upon the train. Was it an illusion?
"Well, get in here you idiot, dinner's ready!" Asuka continued her tirade, "You're lucky I was so gracious as to postpone dinner until you came back!"
"You mean you've been done?" Misato lazily complained as she got off the couch, stretching towards the sky with a yawn.
"Just get in here and eat!" Asuka demanded.
Shinji and Misato obliged, making their way towards the kitchen. The aroma of delicious "western food" wafted into their noses. More specifically, those of the German variety.
The circular table had three plates set, with forks, knives and spoons in place of chopsticks. Various meats, breads and other delights were strewn all over it. Already sitting was Asuka, her hair in pigtails and clothed in a simple red dress. Upon her face was a mixture of emotions; signs of anger, pride and anxiety.
"I didn't spend my time slaving all day over that hot stove to cook this crap so you could stare at it!" Asuka yelled at the pair as she began to pile food onto her plate.
"Oh Asuka, I should have you cook more often, for a bit of variety here and there." Misato teased as she sat down and began to help herself.
"Do that and I'll make sure the next meal you eat is your last…" Asuka threatened. "But you're lucky I was here to cover for you, Mr. Ikari. The alternative is…"
She glared at Misato for a moment.
"… that."
Shinji was reminded of the last time she had attempted to prepare anything. What resulted was something that Shinji had done his best to block out.
"Please, don't remind me…" Shinji muttered as he sat down and began to eat as well.
Yet, he found his appetite lacking. While Asuka and Misato chattered away, Shinji remained silent, eating little and just thinking.
Was it an illusion? A vision? A dream? Or was it real? Had he really seen her?
"Hey, Shinji. Shinji!" Misato called to the boy, snapping him back to the present. "What's up? Something the matter?"
"N-nothing at all!" Shinji immediately tried to cover, but lies were plainly evident on his face.
"Oh, did something happen at your 'club'?" Asuka insinuated. "Maybe a girl, hmm?"
"Not like that!" He hastily defended himself "I was just thinking."
"About what?" Misato asked through her food.
"Rei."
He was met with immediate silence. Only the trickle of the rain and the murmur of the TV echoed through the kitchen.
"They never found her, right?"
"That's what they said." Misato replied somberly. "Why, did something happen?"
"Nothing happened."
"Are you sure? Anything you want to talk about?"
"No, I don't want to talk about anything at all."
"Now we know your lying." Asuka insinuated once more. "You're holding out on us!"
"I said nothing happened!" Shinji yelled as he stood up.
Asuka and Misato stared at Shinji, unsure of what to do.
"I-I'm not hungry. Please excuse me." Shinji muttered as he left the kitchen, going through the living room and fleeing up stairs.
From a corner of the kitchen a mini-fridge opened, revealing a penguin. He peeked his head out at the commotion.
"Go back inside PenPen, nothing to worry about." Misato sheepishly grinned at the penguin, who obliged by retreating into his cool sancturary.
"What's up with him?" Asuka irritably asked as she stood up and began collecting their plates.
"Rei's still a touchy subject with him, Asuka." Misato replied, "There are just some things he hasn't gotten resolved."
"I'd like to know what happened to wonder girl myself…" Asuka muttered as she piled the plates into the dishwasher. "I mean she wasn't exactly my favorite person, but…"
She stalled for a moment in hesitation.
"She was one of us." Misato continued for her.
"What should we do?"
"Just leave Shinji alone for a little while." Misato got up and began helping Asuka with the leftovers. "I think he just wants some time to think a little. But, if he starts clamming up again…"
"I know, bug the shit out of him." Asuka paused for a moment as she looked at a picture on the refrigerator. "He's part of our family after all. We can't leave him to suffer alone."
The picture was of Misato, Asuka, Shinji and Rei, all taken at Misato's behest, since she didn't have a photo of "The Legendary Pilots" Misato was in back, leaning against a guide rail, while the other three pilots stood in front of her. It was taken from a cliff side, back in Tokyo Three. Asuka was beaming, throwing up the peace sign, Misato appeared with a drunken grin on her face, Shinji could barely muster a smile, and Rei was emotionless.
"I can't believe it took me that goddamn long to figure that out."
