'… And he's always on the Quidditch field! It's like, give other people a chance for Merlin's sake. And there's one class he's good at. One. That's not something to be proud of, James. He's always so cocky you know? I just get so mad when I think about him. I really hate that guy. '

'Really? Cos it's sounds like you have the hots for him,' Evie said, not looking up from her book.

'What? Where the hell did you get that from?' I answer hotly. Me, liking James Potter? Yeah, right.

'Well,' Evie looks up at me, and I can see in her eyes that there's a rant coming, 'you talk about him constantly, you seem to know his entire schedule by heart, you know when he has Quidditch, often "accidently" walk past him and you have been spending an awful lot of time around the edge of the forbidden forest, where James and Co hang out a ton.'

I thought this over. 'And how do you know he and his friends hang out around the forbidden forest?'

'And there he goes again, stupid Potter with his stupid friends. Probably heading out to the forbidden forest again. I hope they get killed by a centaur or something. It's called the forbidden forest for a reason, boys.'

'I've never said anything like the sort.' I argue, but Evie is not having it.

'Please, babe, stop kidding yourself and just kiss the guy already.'

'I think you're seeing stars.'

'Nah, Astronomy is not till Friday.'

'That's not what I meant.'

At first I thought Evie was really crazy, but as the months went by, I noticed that I did know James' whole schedule. And I cheered for him during Quidditch. I told myself that if Ravenclaw wasn't gonna win, I'd want Gryffindor to. Anyone but Slytherin, anyway. Josie wouldn't stop talking about it all Summer. And I was the one living in the same house.

But all that wasn't true. It wasn't true at all. I actually didn't mind Josie's house winning. I was rooting for James to win.

But I couldn't have feelings for the guy, could I? I hated him! There's a fine line between love and hate my mum used to say. I always found that corny, until it was literally happening to me. Merlin, when did my life become one disaster?

I decided that it was best for everyone to just keep my little kind of huge crush on the down low. Life went on, and I was never going to tell anyone I had had a crush on James Freaking Potter. Months went by, and I did fine ignoring James.

Until the Gryffindor – Ravenclaw match, that is.

The Gryffindor – Ravenclaw match was the last of the year, the fourth week of May. Gryffindor had been ahead all year, but they had just been lowered to second place by Slytherin, who had already played all their matches. Gryffindor needed to win this game to get the Cup.

Even though I wasn't on the team, James, captain of the Gryffindor team, asked me what the setup was. I told him I didn't know, and even if I did, I wasn't gonna tell him.

'Oh, come on, Clarke, can't you find out for me?' James asked with puppy eyes.

I stared at him blankly, trying very hard to not do anything stupid or blush or something else to give James any ideas.

'Please? I'll give you a kiss.'

Oh, Merlin. I clenched my jaw, and could feel my cheeks heating up. James smirked at me, and my whole face started to burn. I quickly looked away. Those brown eyes were killing me.

'That's what you want, don't you? Well, let's make a deal out of it. You tell me what the setup is, and I give you a kiss.'

'I don't want a kiss, Pot—'

James put his finger on my lips to shush me. 'You'll get it after the game, when I know you've told me the truth.' He turned around, and walked away with an air of a champion.

I walked back to my common room, thinking over the conversation that had just happened. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want James to think that I wanted a kiss from him. But, then again, he thought that already, might as well get a kiss out of it. Plus, James didn't like me in that way, so it wasn't like anything was gonna happen. Apart from the promised kiss, of course.

The next morning I decided to go and talk to Casey Davies, the Ravenclaw captain. When I asked about the setup of the oncoming match, she looked at me confused.

'Why d'you want to know?'

'Well, I wanted to become more invested in Quidditch and I thought that maybe if I knew who were playing what exactly I could follow the game better.' I've always been good at lying, but this time it was extra easy. Because the second I mentioned I wanted to learn more about Quidditch, a huge smile grew on Casey's face.

'Oh, well if that's the case of course I'll tell ya,' she said, starting to name all the players and what their position means. I nodded along, not really following.

Later that day, I found James and told him the setup. He wrote all the names down, saying things like "that's what I thought" and "bold choice"

'Thanks, Clarke, see ya later.'

I was disappointed. I didn't know why, what did I expect? A hug? An early kiss? Any kind of sign of friendship? Nah, I wouldn't want that for sure. Schoolmates are better than friends in this case. I didn't wanna get friend-zoned, but still. It was a bummer.

A few weeks later, Gryffindor won with 220 – 40. The setup was exactly like Casey had told me. I got the feeling she didn't change it so I could understand it better. But that meant that James was gonna kiss me. Sure, it was only because of our deal, but I was still nervous.

'Clarke!' I heard James yell when I was walking back towards the castle.

I turned around. Honestly, I hadn't expected for this to be happening right now. Gryffindor had just won the cup, they should be celebrating. What was James doing here?

James walked up close and my heart started racing like crazy. I looked around, and apparently the whole school was or in the castle or still on the Quidditch pitch, cos we were totally alone. James leaned in, a huge grin on his face. Oh, Merlin, this was actually happening. James Sirius Potter was actually gonna kiss me. I considered facing away from him so he would kiss my cheek. But then he'd probably think I'm a prude or something.

I looked up at James' eyes, and then back at his lips. They were full and so incredibly close. It was just gonna be a few seconds now. Why didn't James go faster? I couldn't stand thi—

James' lips brushed mine in a tender yet firm way. I realized that this was the first time I'd ever kissed a guy. Anyone, for that matter.

After at least thirty seconds, James backed off. I didn't want the kiss to end, but I also really needed air. I look at the ground. I could feel James staring at me, but I avoided his gaze.

James leaned in and whispered in my ear. 'That was just cos I wanted to, not cos of our little deal.'

He then turned around and walked back to the dressing rooms, leaving me completely flabbergasted. He- he wanted to kiss me? Since when? Did James actually like me, or did he just wanted to kiss me so I would go completely out of my mind thinking about it?

I looked at James' back, and one thought seemed brighter and bigger than the rest. Brighter than the worries. Bigger than the anxieties. Just three words, circling around in my head. Would I ever get to say those three words?

And that, kids, is when I realized that I loved your crazy father.'

James grins. 'They're two and three, they're not gonna remember this story.'

'They're smarter than you think. Plus, I'll just tell them again over a year, and then the next year and the next. I'll tell them this story till they can dream it.'

James kisses me. 'Crazy father?' he asked laughing.

Who caught the AVPS/SY quotes?