Disclaimer: Nothing.
Title: Burns Like Alcohol
Summary: This wasn't the man she knew. This wasn't the world she married into. It all hurt; burned. Burned like alcohol. Future. Literati. AU.
A/N: Okay before you read this and give me hell about it you must know, I love literati. In my mind literati and javajunkie are the only pairings that exist. But, I wanted to write angst. I'm in an angst-y mood. And I had this story planned out from the beginning, but I'll make it a quick one-shot/preview to the story I am working on. Others will be updated, but … I'm losing inspiration for some. Now please read and review. And I'm sorry if this makes some of you upset. Just stick it out to the end? I promise it might be worth it.
Thank you Sue! Who is not my beta, but a big help!
On most nights, when it got really bad her stomach would turn and her throat would ache with pain that was replaced with tears later on. On most nights she would wait for him to come into their bedroom and apologize. Possibly tell her he loved her and just set the bottle down for good.
On most nights Seth would crawl into her bed as his daddy drank his anger away. It had been like that for two months, at least. Two long months of her husband distancing himself from his family. They had been married for five years and lately she couldn't help but feel like she wanted out of the marriage.
The ticking of the clock on the wall would be louder than anything else then. She would run her hand through her son's hair and listen as her husband would throw his beer against the wall and groan in pure anger.
Of course, he had never been violent towards her or Seth. It was more that he didn't speak to her or Seth anymore. She had thought about leaving; many times. But then if she left, what would become of him?
Seth would ask about his father all of the time. He'd mutter something along the lines of: "What's wrong with daddy?"
She'd just shake her head and say, "Daddy's not feeling well, baby." Honestly, a three year old shouldn't know that his dad was becoming an alcoholic.
This wasn't the man she knew. This wasn't the world she married into. It all hurt; burned. It burned like alcohol, the alcohol that he downed by the hour.
And tonight, tonight wasn't any different. Rory lay in bed, tucking her comforter closer to her body and sobbed. She watched the rain drip down the window pane and her tears formed a dark circle on her white sheet.
Tonight Seth was at her mother's house. She couldn't let him see his father get any worse. Seth looked up to his dad. He was his hero; his best friend. Rory always envied their relationship, but now? Now he was different.
She didn't want to blame anyone for their marriage failing, but she did. She blamed his best friend; his partner. Her husband went to the bottle the day his business fell apart. His partner was, and had been, making illegal deals with the wrong people. When he found out, it was too late. Their business was going down and they lost everything.
And when they lost everything business-wise, Rory felt as if she lost him. Completely.
Rory crawled out of bed and walked into the living room. It was quiet. She made her way to the couch and saw him lying there, with a bottle dangling from his hand. She wanted to cry, to scream, to hit him, to kick him. But all she did was take the bottle from his hand and walk to the kitchen, where she where she let it slide down the drain, quickly.
When she walked back in the den she saw him sitting up; holding his head with his left hand and holding himself up on the couch with his right.
"Hey," she said, softly. However, in the silent room it sounded like she screamed it.
He nodded to her and felt around on the ground, feeling for the bottle he once had. "Where is it?" He mumbled. The roughness in his voice almost scared her. Almost.
"I poured it down the sink," she said, raising her voice slightly.
He just looked up at her and even in the dark she could tell he was glaring. He got off of the couch and came towards her. She held her breath; he had never hit her but with the way things have been lately … she didn't know what he would do. He made his way to her and then slid past, towards the refrigerator.
She felt a new batch of tears form behind her closed eyelids and she quickly blinked them back, "I think I'm going to leave for a while."
"Leave?" She finally got all of his attention. He walked towards her and she felt him standing right behind her. Rory turned and came face to face with him.
She nodded and looked down at her hands as she fumbled with her fingers, "I mean … you never notice me here anyway."
"You can't just leave, Rory," he sighed, "I know I've been a bad husband, but just give me time."
Rory couldn't blink back her tears this time. She let them fall, but brushed them away just as fast as they were falling, "It's not only that," she paused, "you've been a horrible father."
He paused. A look of hurt flashed through his eyes as he thought about his father. "I'm sorry," he said and sounded truly apologetic.
"I've waited so long to hear that, Jess. But you said it too late," she took a deep breath, shaking at her uncontrollable sobs.
"Rory-," he started, but was cut off by a surprising burst of anger from her.
"I'm leaving, Jess! I can't take this anymore. I can't be with you anymore. I told you last week," she took a deep; shaky breath, "I told you if I had one more night with you being distant and drunk I would leave. And you just sat there!"
He set the bottle down on the counter and reached out to touch her, but she walked into Seth's room and flipped on the light.
She threw clothes into the little red bag and Jess stood behind her.
She started to zip up the bag and he put his hand on hers. "Don't go, Ror," he sighed, heavily, "I'm sorry."
She snapped her hand away and shot an angry look at him. "Jess, for the last two months I have been through hell. I miss you and you aren't there for me or your son," Rory wiped away the remaining tears and grabbed her bag from under Seth's bed; "I'm leaving."
"Come on, Rory."
"I told you I was pregnant Jess!" She closed her eyes, tightly. "I told you I was pregnant with your second child and you had the nerve to ask if it was yours," she said through gritted teeth and balled her fists.
Jess paused to give her time to cool off before he even tried to make up an excuse, "I was drunk, Rory."
"What's new?" She bit out and walked to the door, "when you straighten out your life we'll talk, but I need to get out."
"Rory please! I'll stop, I promise I will stop completely and you can lock up every bottle in this house as long as you stay."
"Prove that you'll stop without me locking bottles up and we will talk." She walked out the door without looking back at him.
Throughout the two months Rory was gone away from her husband she had tried to explain to Seth what was going on. He would break into tears and ask if they were getting a divorce like Jimmy's parents.
"No, Daddy and I are not divorced, honey. We're taking a vacation from each other so he can get better," she'd say.
He would nod his head and sigh, "Daddy was sick, huh?"
"Yeah baby," she would reply and end up thinking about the look on his face when she walked out that night.
Today she dropped Seth off at her mom's and drove to a small café in Hartford where she promised to meet Jess.
She walked in and smiled at him, "Hey Jess."
"Hey," Jess stood up and kissed her cheek. He sat back down at the table and she sat in front of him.
"You look good," she smiled, "sober." She added, quietly.
Jess nodded, "You look happy … happier." He glanced down at the large lump on her stomach and smiled, "you've gotten big."
She giggled, softly and he realized missed the sound so much, "Yeah, I'm now four months."
He nodded, "I've kept count. When do we get to know the gender?"
"In two weeks," she paused, "will you come with me?"
"Of course," he smiled, honestly happy that she wanted him there.
Two weeks went by way too slow to both of them. Rory waited in the waiting room for Jess to show up. She half-expected him to show up drunk, but remember that he had changed. She trusted him this time. And trusted he wouldn't break her again. But they decided to piece back their relationship slowly.
He walked inside the waiting room and smiled at her, "Am I late?"
She shook her head and walked into the doctor's office with him. They will be okay; she promised herself that every second she was around him. But slowly, oh so slowly, their marriage will go back to normal.
See? It's some-what happy, isn't it? Review please.
