Title: Some Things are Worth It
Author: fullmoon'11
A/N: why do i do this to myself, just why... i'll just leave this here and go ;_;
Pairings: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Warnings: SPOILERS for Avengers, not a fix-it, suicide, one swear word, AU kind of ish
breathe in, breathe out
Clint loves the roof of the tower. It's his favorite place in all of New York. He's standing on the edge, gazing idly down at the concrete so many hundreds of feet below. The cars and people moving below are small, tiny, and insignificant ants moving about on the pavement.
Up here, it feels like the top of the world. He and Coulson used to spend nights up here, just staring out across the sea of lights that was Manhattan at night.
breathe in
The door to the roof behind him bursts open, and the rest of the team comes pouring out.
"Barton, get the fuck back here!"
Coulson would be mortified to know that Captain America just dropped the f-bomb.
Then again, "Coulson would have been" would be more grammatically correct that "Coulson would be".
He turned, tearing his eyes off the strip of sunlit street down below.
breathe out
"Hey guys. Nice knowing you, but this is the end of the road for me. See you all later."
And with that, he turned back to the street below, ignoring their cries, and stepped forward.
It took the team (plus Fury) two days, thirteen hours, and five minutes after Clint woke up to tell him that Coulson was dead. Stabbed through the heart, skewered like a pig on a spit.
Suddenly, there was a physical, crushing weight on his chest, and a cold knot tied and retied itself in his stomach. Breathing was painful, because, because-
It took Clint three days to get out of Medical, and two more to relocate to Stark Tower, renamed Avengers Tower after the attack.
breathe in
He found the roof forty-two minutes after moving in.
Coulson was his handler for twenty years, his lover for fourteen, and his husband for the last five. Phil Coulson kept him grounded during long recon missions, kept him in Medical after he spent twelve hours on the range and subsequently gave himself tendonitis, kept him alive and safe and sane.
Then Loki showed up, fucked up his brain, killed his coworkers, murdered his husband, and left.
The marriage was simple, quiet, and private. They stopped by at City Hall, filled out the required paperwork, and that was that.
Their first meeting was quite another story. Clint Barton was a wanted assassin who had (accidentally) taken out a SHIELD goon with one of his explosive arrows. Phillip J. Coulson was the handler assigned to neutralize said assassin.
He ended up recruiting him instead, after shooting him in the foot. Twice.
Phil Coulson's first thought after meeting Clint Barton was this guy is the best shot I've ever seen, and he'd make a valuable SHIELD asset.
Clint Barton's first thought after meeting Phil was this guy might just be worth dying for.
He tipped forward, gravity catching him and pulling him towards the earth.
breathe in
He was falling. The wind pulled at the inside of his cheeks as he plummeted head-first towards the concrete.
Above him, he heard the team (because it wasn't his, it couldn't be his, it was never his, not after what Loki did, what he did, to everyone) shouting.
breathe
His last thought before he hit was dying is worth seeing Phil again.
out
Clinton Francis Barton was buried next to his husband, Phillip Coulson, in a small graveyard on the outskirts of Manhattan.
