DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters, I just like to write their thoughts :)
FEEDBACK: Always welcome
SUMMARY: My interpretation of the blossoming romance of Wendy and Hodges, told from each side in alternating chapters
AUTHORS' NOTES: Starts here with Astro Quest and will continue through Field Mice
Chapter 1 - Something
"Anybody up for a little Astro Quest?" Nick slapped the DVD on the window, startling me from the trance I was in as I was studying the screen in front of me. I looked up to see Nick and the smiling expectant faces of Riley and Langston.
"Oh no, not tonight." After the whole encounter with Hodges, Astro Quest was the last thing I really wanted to watch. I tried to appear more upbeat than I felt, so I forced a smile to my face, with a cheery wave to accompany it. "Thanks though."
Nick gave me a disbelieving look, and I wasn't sure if he didn't quite believe my falseness, or didn't believe I wasn't up for my self-proclaimed favorite hokey cult show. He shook his head slightly, giving me an air of disappointment. "Alright," he said before making his way past me to David's little area of the world.
"Break room in five. Let's go." This time he held the DVD up like it was a trophy of all that was geekdom. I looked up to see if Hodges would take the bait; it was his self-proclaimed favorite show as well. Judging by the answer that came next, I knew he was just as disheartened as I was. But I knew deep down, though I didn't want to admit it, I was to blame for that.
"Ah, no thanks. Enjoy." I watched him give the same false smile I had just given them. He even waved just the same. Ever since that convention, it was clear that he and I were alike in many ways, but I was not entirely ready to admit to just how much I actually cared.
Do you think that, um…I got the collar right? 'Cause I think on the show that it might have been a little more…um…swoopy…
You…It looks perfect.
The way he looked at me at that day was…just thinking back to it, I mean, his eyes were just…he made me melt. He had never looked at me that way before. And really, I had never seen him away from the lab, away from the microscopes and reports and computers and…it was just him. It was just him focused on me, and the feeling was, well, amazing.
But I mean, David Hodges? The one guy who had proved to be a thorn in my side since day one? And the one guy I can not shake from my mind no matter how much I want to. He has latched on to some aching place in my heart, because to me, I can see past every defense he's built up to keep people at bay, and it has endeared him to me more than I ever expected.
Because every time David Hodges puts his foot in his mouth, he puts a little bit more of his heart on his sleeve.
As I watched him sink back into his work, a look of despondency washed over him, and it stabbed at me in ways I didn't want to even begin to feel. And this is also why I couldn't stand David Hodges; he made me care so much in spite of myself.
So now, I didn't want to get caught with what I was about to do, and I was grateful most of the crew was in the break room rapt with alien adventures. I kept one eye on the only one left to make sure he was not going to come this way. Although, after what happened earlier, I'm pretty sure he was too ashamed and could barely look at me. I enticed him to my home, an innocent gesture really. Well, mostly innocent. And then he took that idea and ran amok in his head, distracting himself to the point of danger. But I had wanted him there, more than I was willing to let him know.
Well, two is not much of a crowd really…so…
You mean just you and me?
Yeah…you, me, the Blu Ray DVD box set and a brand new plasma TV.
Over your place…
Yeah. That's… where…I keep my…TV.
Okay, sounds good.
Yeah, it will be.
The look on his face when I said it would be only the two of us was priceless, I have to admit. He seemed genuinely stunned that I would even offer to be alone with him, much less invite him to my place to watch TV. And then he…I…it was ruined when he let his mind wander to who knows what, and then tried to blame me, all for asking to watch a DVD? I never implied anything. But the invitation alone was enough to get his mind reeling. So I called off whatever plans we had. I was infuriated that he couldn't get out of his own head, caused damage to the lab, and then tried to say it was my fault.
But even through my anger, I felt something…strange. I was…flattered. Flattered that he would be so caught up in his thoughts of me that he literally had let himself catch fire. I haven't been able to shake that thought since. My anger has since subsided, but I can't let him know that yet. I can't let him know that while all the others are watching the show down the hall, all I can do is think of him with his arm around me on my couch watching the show we both adore.
Because that is why I only asked him. I wanted to be alone with him, away from lab, just like before. Those deep blue eyes looking into mine, as he leans in to….
Okay, so, I may let my mind wander as well. At least I don't do it around fire. As I walked over to another computer clearly out of his sight, I snuck a small glance over at Hodges, working on something, looking like he was concentrating. I knew of only one way I could get into his head at this moment. It was a place I was longing to get into.
The home page for Astro Quest came up in front of me. I scanned until I found what I was looking for: the Vellikon dictionary. I clicked on the translator, and typed in the words that David said to me at the convention, and as I recalled the look he was giving me as he spoke, my heart raced as to what it could possibly translate to.
"Jihw-CHOK chom-CHEM-jag-eej BRYCE-cichoki."
The screen flashed a green beam while translating the text, and the words appeared on the screen, both in the original symbols, and in English.
"We were made for each other."
My breath got caught in my throat, and the pull was too strong. I glanced over at David. He must have felt the heat in my gaze because he looked up at me, and as our eyes locked, I was grateful for the panes of glass that skewed the emotions I knew we both felt. He looked at me only a moment, and then back down again. It was only a moment, and though I hoped mine didn't shine as clearly, I could read his without a doubt…regret.
I have never wanted to reach out to somebody so badly than at that moment.
A thousand thoughts went through my head. I wanted to tell him I still wanted his company. I wanted to tell him the way he looks at me is sometimes all that gets me through the day. I wanted to tell him I wanted to know him, really know him, not as the person who exasperated people day after day with his arrogance and brown nosing, but the man whose blue eyes held so much tenderness and devotion when he allowed it. I wanted to get lost in that look, in that feeling. More so than I would ever admit to anyone, which I haven't done. David hadn't made it a secret that he was interested in me, but I made sure to never let on that the feeling was mutual. Until recently. He had been my dirty little secret, because even he didn't know the feelings I was hiding. I had only just begun to start dropping subtle hints, but I wasn't entirely sure it was actually sinking in.
I needed to do something. I couldn't let this tension go on any longer. We had to work together, and I wanted him to know I wasn't really mad. But what do I do now after seeing how he feels scrawled so brazenly across my screen? How do I push that aside? And now, how do I get that look in his eyes as he said that to me out of my head? Or the way he reacted afterwards when I asked him what he said? The smile he gave me, the way his lips pressed together to hide the bashful look that flooded his features. I don't think I have ever seen David Hodges blush until that moment, or since. In that one moment, whatever he felt…we felt…it was unmarred and genuine. And it was at that moment as his blue eyes revealed the utmost adoration, that I found myself falling.
But what was I going to do about this?
I had to make things right.
I made my way across the hall. I wanted, if nothing else, for us to be okay.
When he looked up at me, my resolve faltered slightly. His look was unguarded, and in my head, all I could hear was that song from Beauty and the Beast.
There must be something there that wasn't there before.
It made a faint smile tug at my lips as I looked down to him, as he sat looking up at me almost nervously. It was a whirlwind really, a love of bygone science fiction television opening up so many doors to places I would have never expected. Maybe that look in his eyes had been there all along, and I just didn't want to recognize it. Maybe that "something" had finally been stirred in me.
"Hey," I said softly.
"Hi," he replied, just as soft.
"Look, David…"
"Look, Wendy…I…"
I felt my cheeks flush as my smile broadened, and for the first time in what felt like ages, he smiled that adorable cupie doll smile at me. I knew then, that we would be okay.
In a gracious act for David Hodges, he simply gave me a tiny smirk as he said, "You first."
Inhaling deeply, I wanted to put the second offer on the table. In my own roundabout way. "So, everyone is enjoying our favorite show back there. How come you didn't join?"
He shrugged and offered what I knew was somewhat true, "I just…I wasn't up for it right now."
"Would you be up for it later?"
Eyebrows raised, his blue eyes studied me curiously. "You mean…are you…do you really want that?" As he stammered over his reply, the last part kind of struck me. As aggravating as he was when he was being smug, the insecure and tentative side of him was beyond endearing.
I looked down at his desk to shield the emotions fighting to the forefront. "Only if you still want to."
Even with my invitation, he still seemed hesitant. I guess I couldn't blame him. I kept my eyes down until finally he spoke.
"Should I still bring pizza?" I brought my gaze up to see David still looking at me, his eyes filled with longing as he tried to hide it behind his signature smirk.
"That would be great." I bit my lip to quell the giddy schoolgirl smile just waiting to erupt.
He cleared his throat as his eyes fell to my mouth. "So then…your place…after work?" It's amazing how the smallest gestures can elicit such a powerful response.
I nodded in reply, gave him a shy smile and went back to my corner of the lab. Hopefully this time, he could keep his wild imagination under control and away from anything flammable.
Taking in a deep breath as I got back to my computer, I felt most of the tension of the day slip away. And it was then that it occurred to me how the delicate balance of our relationship affected me. In knowing that he and I were okay, I felt okay. I looked over at David again, and this time he smiled at me before looking back down at his desk. He was okay too. There must be something here, right? Maybe someday, I'll find out.
