Right so i wrote a similar one shot called Becasue I know you which is written in Iantos POV which people seemed to like Would love if you read that and reviewed it but here is one in Jacks POV. Please tell me if you liked it i really appreciate Reviews xxx
Just because I never say it doesn't mean I don't mean it, doesn't mean I don't feel it. I know what we have what we are to one another and it puts fear into me like nothing else because you can break me. You can push me away and break me into thousands of tiny pieces and I hate myself for falling for that again, those blue eyes watching me observing but never judging, only expecting my best. Only expecting what a man could give because I am not a hero, I never have been and you see that the hero is just a front and you see me for the man I am. The broken man I am and I need that because you help me reach the right conclusion every time and if I don't you won't punish me for it you comfort me because when I'm wrong I am so wrong. One day when you're not here I know that's when I'll lose it, I know when I lose you I'll just be a reckless shell because without you I will be dead. Without you, I wish I could die because it's so cold at night when you're not at my side. When I can't see that smile everyday kiss those beautiful lips, that will be the day I die. Because without you I am nothing, I wish to be nothing, everything will lose its meaning and no one will be you, no one could ever fill the hole you will leave in my heart.
Your laugh is a thrill to me; I love to hear it ringing in my ears surrounding me because I have made you laugh it makes it special. I love that laugh and I love that mind that beautiful intelligent mind. The filthy imaginative mind, it works wonders. It is true you do know everything, everything that is worth knowing, if Ianto Jones doesn't know it then it's really not worth knowing. That is my new motto. People say that it's the quite ones you have to watch, well that's true as well although I never believed it until I met you, that crisp exterior. Those quite shy smiles that grace your lips and the slight blush that sometimes passes across your pale cheeks, probably at some comment I've made, the blush emphasised because of the small chided grin you wear. I never saw it until you kissed me, the deviant inside, the part of you I managed to unleash from deep within. You are so full of surprises and I don't think that you will ever stop surprising me. The quite exterior that hides so much beneath, so much depth and personality, so much beauty and intelligence.
I know you understand why I can't say those three words even though I want more than anything to utter them to you. We always stop one another, with kisses or actions, sometimes words. Both of us knowing what the other wants to say but in turn, each of us dreading hearing them. If we uttered those fateful words, it could change everything. It would change everything. It would make it so much harder on both of us. Knowing one day I'll lose you, knowing I've lost another person who loved me, because I know you love me and I love you I can't stand knowing I could break you knowing you're going to break me but by not saying those words makes it easier, I know in the long term it won't but for now it does.
You forgave me when I thought you never could, knowing what I had to do was right, we forgave each other although I though it impossible. I am an impossible being and you see that but despite the impossible we are possible among the crazy and the strange and the alien we've made it though harrowing times through betrayal and death and we've always come out the other side and deep down I know we always will make it through the darkness. Every hardship we have gone through together has made us stronger, knowing you has made me stronger, has made me better, a better human, a better man.
I have you Ianto Jones, I'll have your back every time we're out in the field I concentrate more on your safety than anyone else's and I know it's selfish of me but I have to be to survive because without you I fear I will not survive. I will miss you, miss you every day of my lonely existence and the only thing that will give me comfort is being in your arms. I will have to make do with the memories make do with the echoes of your ghost around me because that is all I will have left that and your stopwatch. Your ever favourite thing, you are always on time everwhere and I think you are rubbing off on me I now have the desire to be punctual, usually for dates with you.
I know you will find this, I hope you do. I will file it in the wrong place in the archive, which you are in command of, and I'll watch you read it I know I will because I always watch you on the CCTV. I hope you won't tell me, I hope you won't mention it, I hope you read it and believe it then file in the correct section where ever you think it should be. I know you will carry on but when we're next alone it will be like our last. I live every second with you as if is the last because I know one day you will be cruelly snatched away from me and I want the memories to keep me warm at night. Although they will never satisfy me like you do.
I know this because I love you Ianto Jones and I've said it before I wouldn't change it for the world.
I hope you enjoyed my little story please review and let me know if you did please xx
