GangstaSummoner: Hello, everyone! This is my very first Twilight/Jacob/Bella fanfic. I have been reading a lot of fanfics with Jacob/Bella pairings and I must admit that I am hooked. First I was crazy about Edward and then New Moon came out and blessed me with the oh-so-fine-super-sexy-makes-me-want-to-have-his-baby-Taylor-Lautner. That guy is sizzling. :Ahem : Robert's strip tease in Italy kind of turned me off, he needs a little bit more muscles, but he is hot with his clothes on. ^_^
Anyway, if anyone wants to be a beta reader for this story, please leave me a message. I got a feeling that I am going to need it.
Oh, it starts off in December, after Edward leaves Bella, she goes into depression and something drastic happens to Edward as well. Don't hate me Team Edward fans! I like him too.
Read and Review and on with the story…
Chapter 1 – Death
His eyes, lifeless.
His heart frozen.
The coldness that made him alive to me…is now gone.
I have no one.
His neck snapping under the pressure of Felix's grip.
Crack…
Crack…
The crackling of his body burning and the smell of his sweet scent lingering in the air.
The torture.
The pain.
The happiness is gone.
What is the point in living?
I didn't see it coming. Edward dying right in front of my eyes. I finally had him back and now he was gone again. I am surrounded by the royal vampires, the Volturi, who killed my beloved; with only Alice there to protect me. "She will be one of us!" I heard Alice yell. Her voice became gentle, "I've seen it."
How could I become one of them? My eyes fell on Edward's perfect, lifeless…if that is what he was body. What is the point in becoming an immortal now? I don't want it. I don't want to live in a world without Edward.
The sweet scent of the black hair immortal takes over my senses. Aro seemed to glide across the stone floor, his long black robe barely touching the floor. He leans into Alice, gripping her hand in his. "Ah," he sighs while reading Alice's thoughts. "It seems that you will make an intriguing immortal." He turns to face his fellow ancients, a small smile tugging at his redden lips. "So what do we do with you now?"
I held my head down. My chocolate brown bangs shielding my glossy eyes. "Kill me," I whispered.
"Bella!" yelled Alice in disbelief. "Don't be stupid!"
"They do not want me alive anyway."
"Alice?" It is the cheerful voice of Aro who calls out Alice's name.
"Yes?"
"Are you willing to change her yourself?"
She sighed, "Yes…I am."
Aro claps his hands together. "Marvelous!"
Caius, the snow white, blonde ancient speaks for the very first time. "Please keep your promise Alice. We do not want to kill your family over a human."
Alice nods her head while rushing to my side. Gently, she pulls me alongside her as we made our way through the large, metal door. I could hear Aro's cheerful voice call out a warm goodbye.
It was then as we passed Gianna, sitting calmly at her desk and a beautiful pale face woman, followed by a group of tourists enter the large waiting room. Dinner. It dawns on me. I am safe; Edward is not. I am alive; Edward is not.
Edward is dead…
My legs began to wobble and I felt faint. I took one step forward and is instantly on my hands and knees. My chest heaves up and down; I gasp loudly. I am having a full on panic attack. I can't breathe. I have to get out of here. The walls are closing in on me and then everything goes black, as Alice's frantic voice echoes in my ears.
It is now the middle of January, three months after Edward left me behind to rot and one month after Edward was viciously killed by the Volturi in Italy. Each day I am becoming weaker and weaker. Everything reminded me of him; Forks High, the parking lot, Edward's shiny Volvo, lunch, their favorite table. I've found myself sitting there alone in a daze. To make things worse, I have to sit next to Edward's old desk. And for some reason, I can still smell his sweet aroma lingering in class and in my bed, even after attempting to wash it. It's torture.
I can't stand the pain and the suffering. It is maddening. Having a life now seems so useless, without Edward here…I don't know what I am going to do.
I slowly sits up in my twin size bed, surrounded by darkness. The only source of light is my alarm clock which read 4:30 AM. I pulled a lock of hair behind my ear before tossing the covers off of my thin legs. I feel so lifeless. With the little energy that I had, I climbed out of bed. As I stumbled over my dirty clothes on the floor, each step felt as if I were dragging a twenty pound boulder tied to each leg. I glanced towards my window, memories of Edward swiftly entering starts to resurface.
Opening my door and slowly walking towards the bathroom, I flip the light switch on. I groaned softly, blinking constantly as my eyes adjust to the bathroom light overhead. I turn to face the medicine cabinet hanging over the small sink and staring back at me is a girl I did not recognize. Her hair is dead straight and limp. Her eyes red and puffy from crying constantly and her skin is damn near paler than the Cullens. The deep circles forming under her eyes from her lack of sleep stood out; making her look almost dead and extremely older than eighteen.
Quickly I slid the glass to the left, revealing two shelves with an assortment of medicine on each shelf. My eyes land on the small, metal, rectangular box, which contained my father's razors. I slid the glass back, seeing that tortured girl again and standing behind her was an almost translucent image of Edward. He still looks the same way as I remembered him. God-like, his bronze hair contrasting against his white skin and those golden hues I could gaze into forever. "Edward."
"Stop it," he muttered every so softly.
I gripped the small container in the palm of my right hand. I took in a breath of a air and releases it slowly. I could feel the tears beginning to swell up in my eyes and his hand reaches out for my shoulder. I jumped at his frigid touch against my bare skin and a chill went up my spine. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. I thought over and over again.
"Don't do this."
"I…" I could not say it out loud, in fear that Alice is watching me. In fear that she would be here in a matter of minutes to stop me.
His velvety voice echoes throughout the bathroom walls. "Bella…"
I whispered, "I love you," before turning towards the shower.
Charlie came home late tonight and I knew that any noise would not wake him from his deep slumber. I flipped the latch to close the drain in the tub and then turns the knob for the hot and cold water on.
I was still in my yellow, spaghetti strap shirt and matching shorts. I turned the knobs off, slowly stepping into the warm water, one foot at a time. I sighed as my full body slips into the warm liquid and the steam rises around me. I glanced at the image of Edward out the corner of my eye. His perfect ghost completely out of sight. I wanted to be with him so much, that I had created my own personal hallucination of him. If I cannot be with him in life, then surely I can be with him in death.
I slowly grabbed one of the razor blades, my hand is shaking drastically. I close my eyes for a brief moment and then reopen them. I held my left hand out, pressing the thin blade against my skin. Hissing as my skin pulls apart and the blood begins to trickle down my wet skin; I sighed again while dropping my bloody wrist into the water. I could see the water, slowly becoming a light reddish color. I held up my right hand while staring at the raised crescent scar on my wrist. "Hmph." The scar is only a memory of my former self. A life that no longer exists.
I eventually did the same thing to my right arm. Somehow, the pain was not hurting me anymore. It was as if I were floating on my own personal cloud of complete ecstasy. It felt so much better from what I was feeling every single day. I felt at peace.
It would not be long before Alice sees my lifeless body, floating in a bath tub of bloody water. Neither of the Cullens will dare enter my home. Not Jasper, not Rosalie, not Emmett, not Alice and not even Esme. Of course Carlisle will, but when he does I will be long gone. My soul will be gone. My life ended.
Charlie's POV
"Bella! Bella! Bella!" I was banging frantically on Bella's bedroom door, but there was no answer. I was not sure why Alice had called me in the middle of the night yelling, "Please, check on Bella!" over and over again. Although there is one thing that I know about Alice, she tends to always be right about these type of things. I turned the knob to her room, hoping to find her sleeping comfortably in her bed, but to my surprise, she was not there.
"Bells, honey?"
I glanced over her room one more time to make sure that she was not in there. I am not the worrying type, but right now…any parent would have a fit knowing that their dejected teenage daughter is no where to be found. I am not going to panic. That is what I kept telling myself. Rubbing my fingers through disheveled black hair, I stepped back into the hallway, glancing towards bathroom door.
I could feel the heat coming from under the door and I could faintly smell steam in the air. I gulped while wrapping my hand around the dark brown knob, slowly turning it and then entering. I had a bad feeling and I obviously was expecting the worse for some reason.
"Bella!" I yelled while running towards the small bath tub. A look of horror crossed my face. It was my worst nightmare coming to life. Bella's pale body sitting in a pull of her own blood. I told myself not to panic, but how could I not? I am trained for these type of things, but seeing my own daughter in this predicament screwed with my thinking.
Once I got myself together I gently bent down to pick her small, drenched body out of the tub and carries her to her bedroom. The bloody water that soaked her clothing and hair, dampen my arms and shirt. I kicked her bedroom door open with my bare foot, before placing her on her bed. "Bella? Wake up!" I inspected her body. Her skin was starting to look almost paler than normal, deathly pale. It is then when I noticed the slash marks on both her wrists. Suicide, Bells? I thought. You should know better. I pulled my cell phone out of the pocket of my baggy sweat pants, before dialing 9-1-1.
"9-1-1 emergency, how may I help you?" asked the female operator over the phone.
"Chief Swan, here. I need an ambulance to my residence, A.S.A.P."
"Y-Yes, sir," the woman stuttered, as if she were scared about my situation. Everyone in town knew about the situation with Bella and Edward. They also knew that she was taking the break-up and Edward's death a little too seriously. I thought that she would eventually come around, but now… "They will be there right away. May I ask what happened, Charlie?"
I sighed while staring at my only daughter. I have never been so scared before in my life, not until now. Well, this past September scared me as well, but this…this is just too much. "Bella, she tried to commit suicide…Okay, they are here." I closed the flip phone once I heard the sirens coming down the street and the red and blue lights flickering outside of Bella's bedroom window. I glanced at her one more time before rushing downstairs. I opened the front door and standing right in front of me are Alice, Carlisle and the paramedics. It seems like the entire town of Forks were own my front lawn.
"Charlie, what happened?" asked Alice as she slowly steps inside and then takes a step back; as if something foul had hit her right in the face. She scrunched her nose up and then exhales.
"Upstairs, first room on the left," I said to Carlisle and the paramedics before they made their way up our tiny staircase. I brought my attention back to Alice, whose eyes were lock on the stairs as well. I leaned in closer to her and whispered, "S-She tried to kill herself, Alice."
She held her pixie-like face down, her short, spiky black hair hiding her eyes as if she were ashamed. "My brother…Charlie…I am so sorry."
I felt sorry for the Cullens, losing their brother and son to a drunk driver in California. I knew that it would affect Bella in the worst way, but not like this.
When I found out that they were leaving and moving to California, I thought that Bella and Edward would try the long distance thing. I was not that fond of Edward, but when he left her there in the woods all alone, lets just say that he messed with the wrong police chief's daughter. I was so disgusted. It is because of him that she is like this now. Walking around like a zombie and NOW she's suicidal. Her depression escalated after his death. Watching her walk around the house, moping and looking like she is knocking on death's door is painful. She is like a Lovebird who has lost her mate and we all knows how that goes…it dies.
She said, "If he were still alive none of this would had happen. If we had stayed here none of this would had happen and my brother would still be here."
I place my hand on Alice's shoulder, trying to comfort her some kind of way. I did not want her or any of her family members to feel as if this is their fault. Honestly, Edward and the driver who killed Edward is the one to blame.
"Charlie, may I speak to you for a moment?" I heard Dr. Cullen say as he made his way downstairs, followed by two men carrying Bella on a stretcher, while a third held up a bag of donated blood.
"W-Where are you taking her?" I asked as I approach Dr. Cullen. I followed him into the kitchen, away from all the commotion.
He sighed, his voice serious as he tried to find the right words to describe the situation. "As you already know, Bella tried to commit suicide."
"Yes," I nodded.
"I think admitting her will be the best idea…You know to monitor her more closely."
I was not big on sending Bella to a hospital. I know how she feels about them; the blood and needles freaks her out. "Couldn't you just bandage her up here? I mean, it is only two little cuts. I can watch her." I pause, "I know that she lost a lot of blood too, but still --"
"I understand that, Charlie, but we do not want it to happen again." He paused before speaking again, "I would like to evaluate her."
I glared at him in disbelief. Shocked that he of all people would think that my Bella is insane. "Now you think that she is crazy?"
"Charlie," his voice became low and then he gave me a serious man-to-man look. "I know that after my son left her that she became seriously depressed. I also know that my son's death was just too much for her to handle. Through all of that, did she get any kind of help?"
I told him the truth. "She didn't. She hardly spoke to anybody; neither her mother or I. No one. Even now, three and a half months later she is still, so, lifeless."
"This will help her extremely. She needs to open up and if she does not, we will most likely see a repeat of tonight."
"I see," I said. This is something that I had to do. I had to get my awkward, clumsy, shy daughter back and if this is the only way to do it, then so be. "Okay."
"Good," said Dr. Cullen, as he began to go through his medical bag, pulling out a couple of papers for me to fill out. I guess he knew that it was coming down to this. "I have a few papers for you to sign."
"Yeah," I muttered. My focus was on the red and white ambulance outside my house and my daughter inside of it. "Just, let me say goodbye to her first."
