A/N – OK, so I've been feeling guilty about being AWOL for so long. And since I've been back, it's been angst central with my Bill fic. I can't help it. I love angst. It's like crack.
But . . .
I LOVED Book 11 most especially because Bill got to be funny. The guy really should laugh more. Sookie doesn't get to laugh enough either, at Bill or with Bill. Bill doesn't get to laugh enough at or with Sookie, either. Book 11 and the whole showing-up-naked in the hidey-hole scene (great stuff) gave me an idea.
We'll have some angst, of course. Hey, it's me! But, we'll also have a heaping helping of humor and some juicy lemons.
I'm going to add more to Reconcilliation, I promise. But I'm going to have waaaaaay too much goofy goodness with this one.
Hope y'all enjoy!
Chapter 1 -
After three hours of Jeopardy and about two and a half glasses of spiked sweet tea (high redneck, I know, but that's how we cope and I was willing to cut myself a little slack after the week I'd had), I turned off the idiot box and grabbed a magazine. I tried my best to read the latest gossip and celebutard antics, but I just couldn't get my head around it. Maybe it was the bourbon-laced tea, or perhaps I was just too restless, probably both, but I re-read one article about six times and couldn't have told you what it was about.
It was still daytime, albeit late afternoon, so I couldn't call Eric even if I wanted too. What would I say, anyhow? We needed to talk, but I just couldn't bring myself to think about that conversation. After Sandra Pelt, I didn't think I could look Sam Merlotte in the eye tonight, let alone have a heart-to-heart. Not for the first time, I really wished Gran were here.
I got my ample ass up off the couch before I had the chance to start the king-sized crying spell that I probably owed myself and walked outside. I started walking away from my house and willed myself not to think about where I was heading. Okay, I tried not to think about it. It was wrong. First of all, I was still technically with Eric. Second, I felt kinda slimy at the prospect of running to Bill, my ex, for a bit of company and maybe more . . . boy, I really was drunk! I didn't want to use him or lead him on, but he was about the best friend I had handy at the moment, and I trusted him. After all we'd been through, I trusted him with my life and a whole helluva lot more.
Besides, I never really thanked him proper for his hospitality after my last visit.
That gave me an idea.
Boy, I was drunk as a skunk and ready to belt out the Southern woman's mating call. You know, "Y'all, I am soooooooooooo drunk!" Gran would be ashamed. Hell, I was ashamed of myself, but I wasn't about to stop.
I took the spare key from its new hiding place and let myself into Bill's house. Feeling a little light-headed, I leaned against the doorframe and then giggled like a damned schoolgirl. I closed and locked the door, stripped bare-assed naked, and folded my clothes as neatly as I could and placed them on Bill's table. I then walked to the kitchen, let myself into the pantry door, pried open the trap door to Bill's hidey-hole, and crawled in.
Boy, I thought the darkness was disorienting when I was running for my life, but it just about swallowed me whole in my intoxicated state. I crawled along the floor searching for Bill. If he didn't wake up right away, I figured I could have a little fun getting reacquainted with his body, so to speak. I mean, I had to let my fingers do the walking to find him, right? Boy, that was naughty!
Sure enough, Bill was right where he'd been before. I guess that was the vampire equivalent of having a favorite side of the bed. My fingers told me he was bare-ass naked, too. So far so good. I rubbed my hands along his chest, enjoying the way the hair tickled my fingertips. I also enjoyed the feel of his sinewy muscles. Must be nice, not having to work out everyday to keep them. That was one advantage the undead had over us mere mortals. Still, I felt a pang thinking back to my conversation with Judith, knowing the price he'd paid.
I felt him stir and held still for a second. When he stilled, I let my hand wander a little further south. I felt kinda bad about all out molesting the man, but he'd woken me up the fun way a time or two when we were dating. Judging from his sudden 'growth spurt,' he sure didn't mind. Well, his body didn't mind anyhow. Men! Ha!
I was getting all hot and bothered myself. Maybe I could just climb on up and continue my little journey of rediscovery . . . After straddling him as best I could (hey, low ceilings don't help) I sighed and snuggled, burying my face in his neck and taking in the scent of his cologne. It was so much that it turned me on (though it did), but it just felt comfortable. Like coming home after a long day at Merlottes and curling up on my own sofa under my favorite quilt. It brought back a lot of memories, but thankfully those of that awful time in a darkened trunk didn't come crashing down to spoil the moment.
"Sookie?"
"Hey, big boy," I said before bursting into giggles, "is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"
"I don't have any pockets."
Boy, half-dead vampires were just about as slow as molasses in January. Either that, or his nether head was so busy appreciating my proximity that the one on top just couldn't catch up.
"That was a joke, Bill," I said, a touch annoyed, "You really ought to work on growing a sense of humor. You know that, right?"
"Now I know I'm not dreaming. It's not dark yet, I can't . . ."
He was out again. Talk about déjà vu! Well hell, I guess I'd just have to work a little harder. I wriggled and squirmed until his manhood rested right smack dab against my yahoo palace, and then I wriggled and writhed a little more. We had a real good time for about five minutes (well, I did at least; I was conscious) until I was stopped dead in my tracks by another familiar voice with an unmistakable drawl.
"Miss Sookie? What are you doin' down here with me and Mister Bill?"
Shit, shit, double shit!
"Um, Hi there, Bubba. I was just, um, well, that is . . ."
I was so embarrassed I could have died, but then I heard him snore and I relaxed again.
Then I burst out laughing.
Vampire Bubba snored!
And, since he was close by and brushed up against us with his leg, I also knew that Vampire Bubba was bare-assed naked, too.
Whoa! Time to go! This was one cock off I did NOT want to be a part of!
But I swore I would never let Bill live this down.
Still drunk, horny as a Billy goat, and more than a little disappointed that my little ploy hadn't gone quite as planned, I climbed out of the hidey-hole, donned my clothes, and let myself out. I stumbled back to my house, determined not to cry. I was a happy drunk, not a whiny-assed crybaby drunk! The crybaby drunk in the family was Jason, but he'd kill me if I ever told anyone.
I patted Bill's headstone on the way back and did shed a tear or two over this missed opportunity. I also whispered an apology to Gran on account of my very unlady-like behavior. Then again, given what I'd learned about Gran and the fairy-fuckin' she'd done back in her day, I thought she'd be less inclined to judge.
I walked back to the kitchen and made myself another cocktail. I know, I know, after the way I'd acted, the last thing I needed was another drink. But I wanted one. It would help me forget the ache in my heart, not to mention aches a little bit lower.
Fuck a zombie! I would not let this little setback (Okay, big, Vegas-chunky-Elvis-sized setback) get me down. I'd just have to find a way to get a do over. I fired up my computer and went to email. Bill always checked email. He was a tech geek vampire, plus his whole business was computer based. He'd open mine right away, I figured. Even if he didn't remember our little encounter, he'd smell me all over his crawl space, and his body.
Dear Bill,
Give me a call when you're up for the night and when Bubba goes out catting. I'd like to come by and chat. It would be better if you were alone.
Sookie
I resisted the urge to add 'It would be better if you were naked, too' at the end and just hit send before I had the chance to change my mind. I got up from my computer desk and moved back to my sofa to wait for sunset.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
"Hello," I mumbled. Jeez, I'd fallen asleep. It was full on dark outside and had been for a quite a while. Hey! He sure had taken his sweet time!
"Sookie," he said in that silky, sexy voice. Maybe he had remembered some of what happened, "I received your email. Is everything all right?"
" 'Course. Why wouldn't it be?"
"You were in my home earlier. In my resting quarters."
"Yeah . . ."
"I had the strangest sensation that you were naked."
"Yeah . . ."
"Sookie, have you been drinking?"
"Work that out all on your own, did you?"
Okay, I'll admit it. Bill was smart and educated and worldly, and maybe I was a tad bit intimidated what with my lack of formal education. I was also a little irritated that he wasn't getting it. My message, I mean. If he kept being so damned thick, he really wouldn't be getting it.
I heard him sigh. I also got the impression that he was trying not to laugh. See? That's what I mean. The guy just didn't laugh enough. We'd had more than a few laughs the last time I'd crawled into his hidey-hole, in spite of the danger. I kinda liked it. I kinda wanted some more of it.
"Sookie, is there something I can do for you?"
"Well, I'm not being chased by white trash thugs or being threatened by any supernatural critters, so you don't need to be on high alert or anything."
"That would be a refreshing change of pace. Bubba has left the building, by the way. You can come over if you'd still like to chat."
"You just made a joke!" I said. I was busting at the seams proud of him.
"Spotted that, did you?"
"Hey! You did it again!"
"I'm hanging up the phone now, Sookie. Come on over. Oh, and if it isn't too much trouble, could you bring me back my Aunt Edwina's Spanish shawl?"
"You got it. See ya in a sec."
I hung up and giggled like a schoolgirl again. I naughty schoolgirl. So he wanted his shawl back, huh? Oh I'd give it to him.
I got busy getting ready and prepared to give Bill Compton a great big old reason to smile.
