Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

New Story

When Timothy McGee entered the bullpen you can tell something was bothering him heavily considering he almost forgot to greet his co-workers. McGee has been anxious all week thanks to the release of his new book, Deep Six: Rock Hollow which was today. Well that was only part of the reason his nerves were sent to overdrive. The ending of his book was highly suggestive. He just hopes that his secret girlfriend that he gave a pre-released copy to won't say anything. Plus he has to worry about his boss L.J. Gibbs going off on him about it considering that the past few months he has been giving exceptionally hard head slaps.

Ziva smiled from her desk as she watched the Probie begin working on his computer. She knew that he was worried about the release that was happing. As a matter of fact she had already had a copy of it thanks to a close personal friend she made in the publishing business. Even though she didn't need the book because she already read the ending six months ago it doesn't hurt to reread it from time to time. She was sure Tony had already bought a copy because of the Cheshire grin he had on his face as he made the way to her desk.

"What is with McGee?" DiNozzo ask with false concern.

"Today is the day his book is released, Tony, or have you forgotten?"

"Oh no, Ziva, I couldn't forget that. As a matter of fact I stayed in-line for four hours at the book store waiting to pick up a copy."

"That must have been the first time you went there."

"Very funny, Zee-vah. I've been there plenty of times."

"Fine let me rephrase my statement. That must have been the first time you went to a book store for something besides your Sports Illustrated Swimsuits or Playboy Bunnies." the mossad liaison quipped. The senior field agent rolled his eyes before moving to her side of the desk.

"You know, Ziva, I've already read the book. Would you like to know how it ends?"

'No thank you, Tony."

"Oh, but, you should know how it ends, Lisa." DiNozzo teased using her alternate identity.

"DiNozzo, if I wish to find out the ending I will buy a copy of the book and read it myself."

"You don't have you're copy already?"

"I'm afraid I haven't visited the bookstore to get one." Ziva stated truthfully.

"Well I guess it's a good thing I bought an extra to copy for you." Tony said before quickly going to his desk pulling out a hard back book from a drawer and returning to the Israeli beauty with out McGee noticing. "Flip to page 386."

"Tony, I would rather read the whole book then just the ending."

"Come on Ziva you have to read this." The Italian stated in a demanding tone.

"Fine, but, if I do this will you please stop dogging me?" The assassin asked thoroughly annoyed at her partner.

"Hounding, and yes I will. Just read." He demanded. As Ziva read her face became to indiscernible for Tony's liking. Especially considering he notice her fumbling with a paper clip.

"Cute." Ziva quipped before opening a drawer and setting the copy inside fighting a internal grin at her partner's confused and incredulous stare.

"That is all your going to say?"

"Yes."

"You're not going to do anything?"

"Am I suppose to Tony?"

"Yeah!" DiNozzo exclaimed hoping that McGee would ignore him as usual whenever he was talking to Ziva. "Probie has a crush on you."

"If McGee did I would have surely noticed by now."

"He wrote it in his book, Ziva. We all know that all the main characters in there are based on us. I'm Tommy, you're Lisa, and McGoo over there is McGregory."

"I thought his name was McGregor." Ziva stated in confusion. Had the subject of the conversation had been watching them he would be a few steps short of laughing courtesy of the senior field agent fighting the urge to rip out his hair.

"You know what I mean. This is the probie we're talking about here. How could you not find the ending at the very least hinkey?"

"Because, Tony, I know McGee. If he was interested in me he would have said something by now. Even with rule 12."

"You got to be kidding me Ziva. That book is the prefect way to hide it from Gibbs. Because if the Boss should confront him about it he could just say that McGregor's confession is just something in terms of the story and he has absolutely no feelings for you."

"You might be right Tony." Ziva acted in false realization. "I even bet him letting me sleep in his bed that night six months ago while he slept in the living area was just a subtle version of foreplay. After all I could visit him tonight to confront him about the book and we will twist up in bed together having sex."

"Mock if you want Officer David. Just don't come crying to me how unkosher it was of McGee giving you his sausage." Tony stated glaring at her.

"Oh, what is a matter Tony? Going to be angry that I took his before yours." Ziva teased while Tony made his way back to his desk.

At that moment the elevator opened up to L.J. Gibbs so he can make his way to the bullpen. After greeting his senior agent and the mossad liaison he stopped in front of the youngest member of his team's desk.

"McGee, shouldn't you be at a book signing?"

"Um, no boss why?"

"Because your was book released today. I thought that publisher of yours would want you signing copies or something."

"No. We set it up for the signings to begin this weekend and end the Sunday after next. Director Sheppard already approved it." McGee's answer seemed to satisfy the older man as he reached his desk to sit down just in time to answer his phone.

"Gibbs… Alright, we're on our way." He spoke into the receiver before hanging up. "Mount up. We have a dead petty officer at Camp David." Gibbs ordered.

--

Now normally Tony loved his job. Staring at his female partner's ass every chance he could without getting a head slap from Gibbs, picking on McGee when he could without getting a head slap from Gibbs, flirting with the women he meet on a case without… well you get the point. Unfortunately today was the very first time Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo could say these words.

"I hate my job."

"You don't hate your job, Tony." Abby soothed while giving him a hug while in the controlled comfort of her lab.

"I do, Abs. This has been the worse day of my adult life. First, most of the women I've meet on this case are some of the ugliest on the planet and the ones that aren't have husbands."

"Ugly women need love to Tony."

"Let them find a blind man." the senior field agent disgruntled shot back. "Next when I started teasing McGee about his book somehow he turned the tables on me and stated under no certain terms that Tommy might or might not have a make out scene in which leads to him going into the bedroom with Amy."

"Like he could handle Amy if that happened." The forensics scientist muttered to herself.

"What?"

"I said, 'How in the word did that happen?" Abby stated hoping her friend's bad mood will allow him to not notice what she actually said.

"Oh, I'll tell you what happened. I asked him if he thought Ziva was hot, and he responds 'Tony, if I would deny that would be like me denying not finding Abby attractive as well.' which I stupidly agreed with."

"You don't think I'm attractive, Tony?" Abby questioned giving her signature 'I maybe cute, but I'm also dangerous' stared. Tony cringed realizing he put his foot in his mouth.

"No, I mean yes. I mean of course you're a bombshell Abs. I would date you if I didn't think of you as a sister."

"That's better. As you were saying?"

"Well, then McGoo started in on me about me wanting to getting into your pants and said that I gave him a great idea for his next book."

"Come on Tony. Tim knows you can't fit in my pants."

"You know what I mean, Abs. But you know what the kicker is? The kicker is that I have showed Ziva the ending of McGee new book and she hasn't tried to kill him with a toothpick?"

"Oh McGee's book released today! I got to pick up a copy before I go home."

"Abs, focus. Didn't you just hear what I said?"

"Yes I did, Tony. So how did it end. No, don't tell me. Okay, tell me. No, I want to be surprised…"

"Abby!"

"Alright, hit me with it." Abby stated bracing herself for the worst.

"McGregor told Lisa he has a crush on her and asked her out." There was a few seconds of silence before the gothic pigtailed goddess answered

"That's it? Jeez, I thought you were going to say Lisa was going to get ganged raped by the Hell's Angels or something." she stated while head towards her computer.

"Abby do you realize what this means? It means that…"

"I know what it means, Tony." If the tone didn't cause Tony's genitals to decide they should try their hand at being a woman the fact that the teams forensic genius crushed a full cup of Caf Pow did.

"I think I better leave now." the now frighten special agent said trying his best not to run for the door in fear of his female companion might give him the new bunghole that was surely going to be a gift to McGee when he visited her.

--

(meanwhile in the bullpen)

"Ziva, where's Tony?" asked McGee after realizing the bane of his existence was no where to be found.

"I believe he went to talk to Abby."

"Oh, well have you read the book yet?"

"Yes."

"What did you think of it?"

"It was quite enjoyable especially the ending. I'm glad you were able to finish it."

"That reminds me I have to thank her. If it wasn't for her saying what she said after we captured Landon I would have never gotten through my writer's block."

"Providing she doesn't try to kill you or myself first."

"Abby can be very possessive at times."

"So where are going to have dinner tonight?" Ziva inquired.

"It's a surprise. Just dress semi-formal and make sure your shoes are made for dancing." The team's computer expert said with a smile which his girlfriend smiled as well before going back to work.

"McGee!" called the team's lead agent from on top of overhang that allowed him to observe the bullpen. The young agent quickly left his desk and meet him as he reached the top of the stair.

"Yes boss."

"I'm needed in MTAC so put this on my desk." Gibbs stated before handing him a book.

"Sure, boss." It took on a brief second before Tim realized it was Deep Six: Rock Hollow. McGee was frozen with fear as Leroy Jethro Gibbs leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"If you and Ziva ever bring any sort of relationship other then professional into this building or during a investigation nothing Abby can do could be compared to what I'll do to you. Understand?"

"Yes, boss." McGee answered as he watched his boss enter MTAC wondering if he actually knew if Ziva started dating him six months ago or thought he might have something for the Israeli bombshell because of what he read in the book.