Title: Forgotten Rift
Rating: M- Travis is in this nothing else needs to be said on that.
Summery:It seems that there was one more portal that was never closed after Tabuu was defeated. The last of the Primid have been leaking into Santa Destroy and a certain Assassin is not to happy with that.
Warnings: This is my first fanfiction in a while and I wrote it kinda late at night so it probably is not all that good. Its also kinda short. If you like it please feel free to let me know and I will be happy to write more for you. All it takes is one person.
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"I don't know where these fuck heads are coming from but if I see another fucking one of them I am going to fucking scream." Came the annoyed voice of one Travis Touchdown the number one ranked assassin in Santa Destroy. Growling as he kicked at one of the strange black things Travis shook his beam katana in one had to recharge it while fending off the other fuck heads. Finally the beam katana buzzed with familiar energy and a large grin appeared on Travis's as he flicked the Tsubaki MK-III and with a wide sweep cut a whole line of the fuckers down. There were a few more and they went down just as easily as the others really they were more annoying then anything.
It had been a whole month since the whole UAA incident and his fight with his brother. They had meant to end it and find paradise together but who knew that both of there beam katanas would run out of energy at the same time. The moment had been ruined and the two had decided to part ways. There was no use in hanging around each other when they didn't really like each other all that much. Henry had gone back to tracking down his wayward wife and Travis went back to watching anime and wrestling videos doing the occasional odd job to stay afloat. It turned out though that the United Assassin Association was actually real and Travis was ranked number one around the world so occasionally he had to deal with some fucker who thought he was hot shit. It really wasn't very fair, all the other ranked assassins Travis had fought got to pick where they fought and when, Travis just had to deal with these fuckheads barging in on him whenever they felt like it.
The sun was setting in Santa Destroy and Travis still had yet to return his videos back to Beef Head Videos, he had left at three and the fucking task still wasn't complete. It wasn't like it was far, if it had been he would have taken Schpeltiger but no it was only two blocks away so he had decided to walk. Right now he was really regretting that decision, the fuckers were like ants, they were fucking everywhere. Ok so there weren't as many around after Travis had been outside but still they were swarming all over Santa Destroy. Stomping through the dissolving bodies of the horde of them he had just killed Travis swore that if he was stopped one more fucking time he would kill every last one of them. So marching through the streets with his beam katana resting on his shoulder and tape in one of his pouches he made his way to Beef Head Videos. Upon his arrival Travis shut down Tsubaki MK-III and attaching it onto his belt he walked into the store.
"He-ay Travis!" Bishop greeted as a disgruntled Travis walked into the store. "You look like you have had a rough day man."
Grumbling slightly Travis reached into his largest pouch and pulled out the video out and set it on the counter. "Today has been shit. I left my room at fucking three to return this to you and six hours later here I am. Its all those fucking black things out there, they are like god damn ants."
Picking the video up Bishop just chuckled at his friends irritation. "I hear ya man. As if Santa Destroy wasn't all ready as much of a dump as it is. Still its good for me that you live near here, all the other parts of the town are covered in them. Not that you leave your motel room all that much."
Grinning slightly and feeling a bit better Travis leaned against the counter. "Yeah well there isn't much of a reason for me to leave. I haven't been challenged in a while and I have enough money right now. Plus who wants to go out anymore?"
It was true, no one really wanted to go out in Santa Destroy anymore, they were all to afraid that they were going to either end up in a gang war, rank battle and now this strange swarm of black ant like things. The two other things were older and the people were more used to that knew when to avoid them, the ant things were new and they were everywhere. They weren't hard to kill, you could squish them under your shoe but there were just so many of them. It had gotten to the point where some assassination missions involved killing as many as you could in a time limit just to help get rid of them. Travis had been pleasantly surprised to find that out when he had crushed a bunch of them under Schpeltiger's wheels when he went out to pick up his custom jacket from Area 51.
"Well take care of yourself Travis if you weren't here we would have been overrun a long time ago." Bishop offered with a grin as Travis walked out of the store.
Humming to himself Travis walked through the warm evening air back towards his room in the No More Heroes Motel, he had to feed Jeane and see if the latest episode of Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly had finished downloading. Adjusting his the large sunglasses on his face Travis failed to notice the sirens wailing in the air the closer he got to his home. He also failed to notice the column of smoke trailing up from the direction of the motel. So it came as a surprise to him when he walked into the courtyard to discover his building was on fire. Or rather the right side of it, his room hadn't been reached.
"Wow! What the fuck is going on here!" Travis exclaimed as he made a small dash towards the building Jeane was still in there along with all his stuff!
"Sir you are not allowed inside building!" A fire fighter yelled at him making to bar his way.
"Oh fuck off!" Travis yelled and kicked the man in the gut before running to the stairs of the building and dashing up them. On the second floor now Travis ran to his room and not bothering to fish out his key and unlock the door he just pulled out Tsubaki MK-III and sliced the door off of its hinges. Behind him he could hear a few cries of fear as they saw and recognized the blade in his hand. Ignoring them Travis put the weapon away and glanced hurriedly around the room. Jean was pawing at the window mewling and trying to get out before the fire reached there room. Scooping the kitten up into his arms Travis ran over to his bedroom and grabbing a duffel bag, the one he used to carry around a lot of his money, he threw his closet door open and grabbing his favorite outfits hurriedly he stuffed them inside the bag before going to the side of his bed and pulling the drawer under it out. Grabbing seeing the three remaining blades he shoved them in the bag as well before zipping it up. Everything that he needed or that was important in his bag and a scared Jeane under his arm he ran out of his motel room just as the flames were starting to reach his door.
Cursing a bit he backed up slightly as he saw the stairs were now on fire and he wouldn't be making his way down them. Backing away Travis frowned, he really didn't want to jump with a heavy bag over his shoulder and Jeane in his arms but it looked like he didn't have much choice. Skillfully unzipping his bulging bag a bit Travis stuffed Jeane as gently as he could into a bit of space in the bag and zipping it up slightly so that she wouldn't fall out he pulled the bag over his shoulder. Gripping the edge of the railing he easily vaulted over it and bracing himself for impact as he hit the ground he did his best to absorb the blow. Over all it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Quickly moving away from the burning building he unzipped the bag and pulled Jeane out and held her in his hands as there home and all of Travis's anime figures and wrestling masks burned down.
"Well Fuck." Travis cursed as he wondered what he was going to do now. Ok what he would do when he found out who the FUCK was responsible for his home burning down and cut the fuckers head off. He also needed to find a new place to stay.
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They had made a mistake, a big one to, Red thought to himself as he rode on Charizards back as he and a few others flew through a small, but big enough to fit a horde of Primid through. After Tabuu had been defeated they thought all of these little holes to other dimensions had been closed. For the most part they were right, they had all closed except for this one for some reason. No one could really figure out why, Red just figured that this was the exception that proved that all the others had been closed or something along those lines. Either way it was somewhat remarkable that this area that had been infected with Tabuu's remaining forces had lasted so long. When Master hand had sent the small group of them out he had mentioned that there was somebody who was helping control the population. He also gave them an invitation for who ever it was if they ran into them, the Brawl had all ready started but there had only been a few matches and not everybody had fought yet so no one had complained.
As Red flew through the dark rift he couldn't help but shudder somewhat at the coldness of it, he hated going through them and knowing this was the last one did not help. Lucky for him it only lasted for a few seconds and when he emerged at the other end he was met with a warm atmosphere. It seemed they were on the outskirts of a large town, signaling Charizard to land in a large patch of dried out tall grass he hoped that this mission would be done soon. Hoping off of Charizards back Red recalled the large dragon pokemon before his tail would set fire to the field. Looking to the side he caught sight of Solid Snake who had drawn the short end of the stick and had been stuck traveling with Kirby on his Warp Star instead of on Charizard.
"I guess this is the place." Red said as he looked around the area. He really didn't want to be here all that much. Kirby, Snake and him were the only ones who had no upcoming fights though and so not to give any advantage to anyone they were the ones sent out.
Getting up and dusting himself off Solid Snake looked around the area boredly and grunted before mentioning. "For being the source of where all the Primid are coming from there don't seem to be any. A lot of scorpions though." He moved away from one of the highly poisonous bugs and moved onto the path that was nearby.
Grabbing Kirby and pulling him away from a scorpion he was eying hungrily Red got on the path as well. "Your right, there don't seem to be any around here." It was strange, this place should be swarming with them yet there were none in sight.
"Oi you fuckers!" An angry voice yelled at them from ahead.
All of them looked up and saw a man standing on top of a small hill that lead into the city. He had a pair of large yellow sunglasses on, a red jacket that was over a shirt with what appeared to be three anime girls and a pair of ripped jeans. One of his hands had a glove on it that was holding what appeared to be a sword handle with no blade attached to it.
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Well it hadn't been the strangest thing Travis had ever scene but it had been high up there. Some guy flying on a gaint red dragon and a pink blob and a man dressed in some sort of blue camo coming down on a star. Watching them for a second Travis wondered if these were the fuckheads who were the cause of all of this. He had spent the last two days cleaning the town up of those fucking ant things and he had noticed that there were usually more around this area. There was also what appeared to be a rip in time and space floating in the middle of the sky which was pretty suspicious as well. So after running the fucking ants out of town he had set up camp here to see if any more came out. Nothing had happened so far except for a few stragglers that had been easily taken care of until today. Upon seeing them Travis got up off of his bike and making sure that Jeane was tied safely to one of the bars and far enough away from the scorpions he grabbed Tsubaki MK-III and headed over to the edge of the area and yelled at them.
"Oi you fuckers!" If these were the fuckheads who had sent those fucking ants that had somehow been involved in burning down his home he would have there heads on a plate.
The one in the strange blue spandex getup was the first one to respond. "Who the hell are you?"
For some reason this irritated Travis, ok he was the number one assassin in the world but that didn't mean he was well known, he didn't mind them not knowing him, it was the fucking attitude that pissed him off. "Who the hell am I? I think I am the one who is going to be asking the questions here!" He had always wanted to say that. "Your the one that came from the fucking hole in space that the fucking ants came from that burned down my house!"
The one in the Red Hat holding some strange pink blob seemed a bit confused. "Ants? Do you think he means the Primid?"
"He must." Blue Spandex grumbled as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up.
"Pyuo!" The blob that apparently talked to said.
Focusing on the blob Travis couldn't help but think. 'Moe...' before shaking his head slightly and focusing on the situation hand. Red Hat seemed to be talking some more.
"Sorry about the trouble that you must have gone through, we didn't notice that one of the rifts were still open and there were any more of these things. We were sent here to get rid of them, there don't seem to be anymore around here though."
"Tch. Of course there aren't anymore. I finished off the last of them today. The fuckers didn't even put up a fight." It hadn't even been enjoyable to kill them, there was no blood no nothing, they just dissolved. Hell he had spent a long time just riding around Santa Destroy crushing them beneath Schpeltigers wheels.
"You beat them all?" Blue Spandex man said a bit disbelievingly.
"What you don't think I could Old Man." Travis shot back.
"Your just a punk kid."
"I'm not a fucking kid Old Man. Maybe you need to get your eyes checked or something."
Red Hat was doing his best to get the Old Man to shut up and he might have succeeded if he wasn't interrupted by some fuckhead who thought he was hot shit trying to make a name for himself taking down the number one ranked assassin.
"Are you Travis Touchdown ranked number one by the United Assassin Association?"
Rolling his eyes and turning around Travis eyed the piece of shit who had come to challenge him for his tittle. "Yeah what of it?"
"I am-"
"I don't care who the fuck you are, if we are going to fight lets fucking do it you fuckhead. I have had a long day and don't feel like dealing with little shits like you right now." Travis interrupted as he got into his stance he used for Tsubaki MK-III.
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Red along with Snake and Kirby looked up at the newly named Travis Touchdown who seemed to be facing off against some guy who wanted to take his title. Apparently this guy was well known around here if people wanted to take something like that from him. Snake seemed to relax when he saw the others attention wasn't on them anymore maybe the kid could fight, his stance seemed like that of a swordsman even if he didn't have a sword. Suddenly Travis made a quick slash forward and a beam shot out of the sword hilt that had been in his hand, there seemed to be a shock wave coming from it that knocked the other back a little. It was a strange weapon and Snake wanted to see how the kid fought with it.
The fight turned out to be very short and very brutal, the opponent didn't get a hit in all his blows were deflected easily by Travis who ended the fight by cutting the mans arm off and ending the fight by cutting him in half through the side. The blood spray was wide and sprayed Travis in the face causing the victor to groan. "Damn I hope your shitty blood didn't ruin my clothes!" Snake watched feeling slightly sick at his casual dismissal of what he had just done, he had seen a lot of things but killing as brutally like that with no remorse was not something you saw everyday either. Next to him Red was looking a bit green in the face and Kirby didn't seem to really get what had just happened.
Travis disappeared for a moment before coming back with a washcloth in his hand and was rubbing the blood from his face. "Well that was a lot more satisfying then those stupid ant fuckers." It did seem that he was in a lot better mood now. He was walking down the path towards them with a small smile on his face. Snake watched as he took his sunglasses off and wiped the lenses clean on the cloth before putting them back on. "So anyway what are you guys anyway? You came from that hole in space right?"
Seeing that he was the only one who could really talk since Kirby couldn't speak in a language they could understand and Red was busy being sick Snake grumbled slightly before answering. "Yeah we came from the rift. We had closed all of them earlier but for some reason we missed this one. Someone noticed it and we were sent to take care of it, though it seems there wasn't really a need to."
"Heh, well if you had come two days ago there would have been plenty for you to clean up. I just decided to hunt these fuckers down after they burned my motel room down."
"You mean you didn't go after them when they first got here?" Red asked now looking a bit better if still pale.
"Naw, I didn't really feel like it and they weren't really doing anything, just milling around and kinda attacking people, not really though mostly just milling around." Travis said in a fairly good natured tone.
It was then that Red remembered that he had an invitation for the person who had been holding them off. He wasn't sure if he should give it to Travis though, while he seemed to be friendly, when he wasn't pissed off, he did just cut some guys arm off then cut him in half. There were some evil people there like Bowser and Ganon but as far as Red knew they didn't cut people in half like that. Still, that was Master Hands orders, and Red really did not want him angry. "Um I was given this to give to who ever was holding back all those Primid, and since you destroyed them all I think you are supposed to have it." Reaching into his pack Red pulled out the invitation Master hand had given him and handed it over to Travis.
Putting the towel over his shoulder Travis took the invitation and after a quick inspection he opened it and quickly scanned it. "A fighting tournament eh? Whats in it for me? Other then winning." He waved the letter at them with a small frown on his face. "I am already the top ranked assassin and thats brought me nothing but those fuckers there. Why should I join this?"
Red, Snake and Kirby stared at Travis for a moment, it was Kirby who spoke first. "Pyo-on! Pyo Pyo!" He waved his short stubby arms and smiled up at Travis.
The assassin stared at him for a moment before saying something that caused Snake and Red to start choking back laughter. "Moe..." Travis couldn't help it, the pink blob was cute and it just slipped out of his mouth.
It was Red who recovered first surprisingly. "Well you said your house burned down right? Well if you come with us you will get free room and board. I also heard if you win you get a wish granted as long as its reasonable. I am sure they could build you a new house or something."
Free room and board sounded really good to Travis who had no where to go right now. He couldn't live on the streets with Jeane with him, the poor kitten would never make it, also he really needed a shower. Plus if he won he could get a mansion like Death Metal had had. He could even fill it with servant girls who would be at his beck and call. "All right. That sounds pretty good, I will come with you on two conditions."
All three of them exchanged looks, they couldn't really approve anything big...
"One that Jeane can come with me." They all frowned slightly, none of them were allowed to bring people with them. Seeing this Travis quickly clarified. "Jeane's my cat, I don't have anyone to look after her so she has been traveling around with me, that can't be good for her." The others relaxed, they were pretty sure that he could bring a cat with him, especially if there was no one to look after it. Still it was a bit surprising that this guy had a cat. "And secondly I want to bring my scooter Schpeltiger with me, its holding all my clothes and I don't want anyone to steal it." If those were the only two requests then it would probably be fine, Wario had his bike after all, and this was only a scooter. "All right that seems fine. We can give you a ride there right now or do you have things you need to do?"
"Hmm I should probably tell that cold bitch Silvia that I am going away and not to give my ranking away. She fucking would do that to." He muttered the last part and pulled a cellphone from his belt. Flipping it open he held down a button, whoever this woman was she was clearly on speed dial and held it up to his ear.
The three Brawlers all took a few steps back and let him have his phone call. "So what do you think?" Red asked Snake who was smoking a cigarette and grabbing Kirby to make sure he wouldn't eat any of scorpions or bug Travis.
"He seems pretty interesting, a bit brutal." They both remembered the fight earlier. "From what I have seen though he will probably do pretty good, if they can somehow get it so he can't actually do that to any of us." Snake was going to make damn sure he wasn't in any match with Travis if he could cut off any of his limbs with his weird sword.
"Agreed." Red did not want to see any of his pokemon explode in a cloud of blood. They stood there for a moment before Travis approached them.
"Well the bitch didn't pick up but Sir Henry Mother Fucker did and said he would give her the message, or at least stop anyone from taking my place. Jeane and Schpeltiger are on the other side of the fence there. I didn't want her playing with any scorpions." Travis motioned to the fence that separated them from the field they were in and the town.
It was a very short walk to the other side of the fence and when they got there the first thing they noticed that his 'scooter' if you could even call it that was huge! It was bigger then some cars! Next to it there was a small grey kitten that had a small length of string attaching it to the bike. "Hey there Jeane. I found us a place to stay so we wont have to sleep outside anymore." The small kitten didn't seem to understand but just stared up at him with big watery eyes and mewed. Travis just laughed slightly and meowed back at the kitten. "Yeah thats right baby so come here." Untying the cat he picked held her as he turned to them. "All right so how are we getting to where ever this place is?"
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Hey everyone! I hope you like or tolerated my first fanfiction in a loooooong while. I wrote this after becoming reattached to the awesome game that is No More Heroes. Travis really should have been in the game. Do I decided that they must have just forgotten to add him. If you guys like it or hell if anyone likes it and wants more I will try my best to write a second chapter. If you have any questions feel free to ask them.
