I sat on the terrace, watching the sunset in the horizon. The sky was a light pink amongst a soft purple and blue. Slowly fading into the darkness of twilight. I came up here to think. Something I've needed to do a lot lately. Everything was just so messed up. My dad was on some mission, down in the Pacific Ocean, and Spencer was sick.

Sam, as always, was her natural self. Though I loved her, I still needed to get away from her for a while sometimes. She just gets a little to crazy and wild for me and it's nice to get away every once in a while.

I especially needed to get away now. Ever since Sam and Freddie started dating, it's been rough on my part. You see, I never really wanted Sam and Freddie to go out in the first place. I have a little secret. Nobody knows about it, either.

I am in love with Freddie Benson.

Ever since he saved me from that Taco Truck incident.

He was wrong. It hadn't been a crush "just because he saved my life". The feeling never really went away. I think I have always been in love with Freddie; it just took him saving my life for me to actually notice.

I loved everything about Freddie. His dark brown hair, his beautiful brown eyes. The little quirk of his smile. He was everything to me. I loved how when he was talking about technology, he just got so caught up and fascinated by what he was talking about it was almost impossible to make him shut up. The way his eyebrows knitted together when he got worried, or confused. The way he would do anything for someone he loved. Even if that meant getting run over by a Taco Truck so his best friend didn't get hurt or die.

I loved Freddie Benson.

I love Freddie Benson.

I thought of Sam. Her curly blonde hair and bluish greenish eyes. Her crazy, spontaneous attitude and love of the meats. She was my best friend. Yet she was dating the one I was in love with.

Sometimes I ask myself. Does Sam really deserve someone as awesome as Freddie? I mean, for years, she has pestered him, caused him physical and emotional pain, was this all because of a crush? For years, she has tormented him over and over and over again. Sometimes I just don't understand what is going on underneath that little curly blonde head of hers.

I sighed in the darkness. I needed to get back to the apartment, where Sam and Freddie were surly cuddled on my couch, waiting for me. Life can be a real pain sometimes, but you have to keep going.

So I stood up, and brushed of my jeans. Looking at the dark starry night behind me right before I climbed through the window and back into Bushwell Plaza. I walked along the hallway, slowly making my way back to apartment 8-C in silence, caught up in my self-pity party.

When I got back to the apartment, and unlocked the door, sure enough, there was Freddie and Sam, sitting on my couch all snuggly. Spencer was sitting by the computer, with about a million tissues scattered around him.

"How you doin' Spence? Need anymore tissues?" I asked sympathetically.

"Nah Im ok, I just wish I'd hurry up and get better because Socko's cousin, Tome, (For those that do not know, a Tome is a very large book) wants me to make a sculpture of a really big book so he can put it in his book shop." Spencer explained, after blowing his nose.

"Well you just need to rest and not think about sculptures right now" I commanded. "You need to go lie down, and go to sleep so you can get better. OK?" I instructed Spencer, patting his back as he stood and stretched, grabbing his tissue box and walking to his room.

I checked the time.

10:30

A yawn escaped me as I turned to face Freddie and Sam, a pang shot through my chest and I tried not to wince as I saw them cuddled on the couch together. Freddie looked up, prior to my yawning. He stretched his arms out and stood up, leaving Sam on his couch.

"Tired, Carls?" He asked sweetly as he walked up to me. I nodded a yes as a giant yawn over took me, making me stretch my arms out and close my eyes for a second. "Well I guess Sam and I should let you sleep, Carls. Besides I need to be home before my mom flips out. Goodnight, Carly" My stomach churned with butterflies when he said the nick name he had made for me back in the fifth grade.

Freddie gave me a small hug, gently kissing my forehead, which sent a jolt of electricity shooting through my body. "Goodnight Freddie" I said sleepily. "See you tomorrow" With that, he gave Sam a quick kiss and said goodbye, then disappeared through my door going into the one across the hall. You could hear his mom bombarding him with questions right before his door shut. I couldn't help but chuckle. Mrs. Benson was hilarious.

I hugged Sam and said goodnight, then locked the door to the apartment before making my way up to my bedroom where I got into my silver silk pajamas with the red hearts and fell into my big purple soft bed.

When my eyes slid closed, and I entered dream world, I only had one thought in my mind.

Freddie.

So how did you guys like the first chapter to I Can't Be in Love With You, But I Have No Choice? I have had writers block for a really looooonnnnngggg time and I finally decided to sit down, calm down, and just write. Well this is what came out of it, and Im very pleased with myself. Well, I love reviews and really appreciate them so you know what to do! Just click on that little button below and review, review, review! Im happy to be back in writing and Summer time! I missed all my fellow readers and I hope you guys will forgive me for not writing a new story for so long! Love you guys!

SimpleGirlLikeMe-TrinityFaith