Marge was aware of the damage she was doing to her teeth, but paying a hefty dentist bill would be paradise compared to listening to Homer argue with her sisters for another two hours. Well, sister. Selma was getting slightly better about putting up with Homer lately, but Patty was worse than ever.

"I don't know why you even bother, you're too stupid to come up with a real comeback," Patty sneered.

"And I dunno why you bother going to all those lesbian bars when you're too ugly to get a date!" Homer shot back.

"Oh, real mature, tubsy!"

"No, you!"

"Shut up!"

"Don't make me get outta my chair!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

Even though she knew it was the teapot in the kitchen, Marge felt like the screaming steam was coming from her ears, and she lost it.

"Okay, stop it! I've had enough of this, you two are acting even worse than Bart and Lisa!" she snapped. "For years I hoped you would learn to get along, but you just won't. That's fine. But for the love of God, could you stop fighting?!"

"Why?" Homer crossed his arms over his chest. "She always starts it!"

"And you let this loser father your children?" Patty groaned. Marge gave them both a deathglare that could make Mr. Burns wet himself in fear.

"Homer, if you don't stop, you're sleeping on the couch for a month. Patty, if you don't stop, you and Selma aren't allowed to smoke in the house anymore!"

"Hey, leave me outta this," Selma protested. "I've got enough problems here with Scottish McDrunkpants." She rolled her eyes at Groundskeeper Willie, who seemed to be disturbingly amused by the anger levels in the room.

"Sorry," Marge said. "But what's it gonna be, you two?"

Homer and Patty looked genuinely horrified.

"...Fine," Homer sighed. "I'll be the bigger man and apologize first. I'm isorry,/i Patty."

Patty shuddered.

"Then...I'm sorry too, Homer."

Since Marge was still watching, they shook hands, sealing their agreement not to fight for the rest of the evening.

"I'm so proud of you two!" Marge was smiling again, as if the ugly scene earlier hadn't happened.