Edit 10th May 2005

In light of rules on lyrics/songfic's. I have had to do some serious editing of this fic. So it may not make sense. I apologise but there was some Monster Mash lyrics in there that connected it all. I have been hiatus from writing fic for a while now so I didn't know about these rules but thankfully someone told me. If you would like to see the original version email me I will send it to you. /edit

Ok this is something my muse (okay NcsGirls kindly loaned muse) badgered me into doing so all the credit (or blame) goes to him really. Its all due to the damn song which we listened to and thought how well it would fit Hank

Muse:Its all down to me and my sheer genius

Me: Shut up and eat your ice cream!

Nothings mine. The characters nor the song.

The Monster Mash - Hank McCoy style!

Hank McCoy took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes, he had been in his lab all day and he felt tired and drained. He quickly shoved his glasses back on his face slightly lopsidedly as he heard music float out from one of his storage units (cupboards to you and me). He frowned and looked over in the direction of the music.

It sounded strangely like the opening bars to the monster mash.

Hank jumped around the lab like a tick, trying to find the source of the music, when suddenly:

The song seemed strangely prophetic. As soon as the strange voice could be heard singing of monsters rising from the dead, the same thing happened. Right there, in his lab!

Okay so it wasn't a monster, it was Jean Grey, but it's the same thing right? He watched shocked as Jean began walking around the room arms outstretched. Hank had always wondered why he was the one labelled Beast in the mansion when Jean was wandering about.

Hank searched his desk drawer quickly in search of the spare tranquilliser dart he kept for such occasions.

Hank watched, more than a little frightened as Jean began a weird dance which apparently involved balancing a beaker full of sulphuric acid on her head.

'That doesn't look like the monster mash?' Hank said to himself. 'A monster is doing it though, so it must be.'

Hank looked over his shoulder as Kitty phased herself, Jubilee, Rogue and Ororo through the wall were they began to sing, whilst swinging their hips and clicking their fingers.

He backed towards the door trying to escape from the horror before him and that dreadful sound. When suddenly he realised that it was him singing, of laboratories in mansion's west.

He clutched at his neck with his clawed furry hand, trying to keep his voice under control but it continued of its own accord.

He gripped at his throat tighter, he was either going to shut himself up or kill himself and at the moment the latter seemed preferable.

Once again Kitty and company began singing the chorus as Hank ran around the room searching through every drawer for some masking tape. Eventually he found it and fastened it over his mouth, thought for a moment, then put some over his eyes too. Unfortunately the masking tape was not a strong enough barrier to quell the song rising in his chest. He ripped the masking tape from his face with a small squeal as it ripped off his hair; it was no good he really couldn't fight it anymore.

He began to sing of the brotherhood having fun, at a party which had just begun.

Hank nearly fainted when Wolverine danced past wearing a multicoloured party hat, balloons tied to his arms.

Cyclops and son were present too. Scott appeared to be doing the twist with Nathan. Hank flopped back into his chair and grabbed a bottle of the nearest pills and swallowed them in one. But once again, he voice made sounds against his will.

Hank watched as the Fantastic Four appeared and began playing various instruments as the 'Crypt Kicker Four'. They all had one thing in common, its sounded terrible….and with Jubilee singing too, Hank thought that his ear drums would explode.

Morpheus sat up in his coffin and could be heard to grumble something about Transylvanian twisting. At least that's what Hank thought he was saying.

Okay if Hank had been scared before it was nothing to the terror and confusion he felt now, Morpheus was from Spiderman, why should he be in his own little song? Infact Hank was beginning to get mad, outraged even, why did someone from Spiderman have to gatecrash X-Men functions? No matter whose problems it was that pesky Spider all ways poked his sticky beak in! You know what? Hank was really beginning to hate Spiderman at that moment, in fact this whole situation was his fault, he hadn't figured out why yet…but don't worry he was working on that.

Hank began to shoo people out of his lab but for some reason they just didn't seem to listen, he gave up determined that if he was going to stay he would at least make the experience more enjoyable. So he got some needle and thread, determined to shut Jubilee up once and for all.

But just as he was approaching the girl, who was screeching in the manner of a cat, Wolverine sidled over to him and began gyrating, his body next to Hanks.

That was it, now Hank was absolutely petrified and he screamed and screamed and screamed…..

Hank woke up with a jolt and looked around his still, quiet, safe Lab and sighed it was only a dream. His fur was damp from the cold sweat the nightmare had brought on. That was the last time he was ever going to eat sushi 5 years past its use by or work straight through the day without at least 20 minutes break. He leant back and shut his eyes trying to block out his nightmare. He heard a knock at the door.

"Enter" he commanded wearily

Wolverine entered the room sheepishly "I forgot this" He said holding up a multicoloured party hat.

Hank clutched his face (Macaulay Culkin/Home alone style) "NOOOOOOOO!"""

Okay so what do you think? Remember reviews will keep the muse happy (so maybe he'll stop lighting them damned matches)!

Muse: Hey I heard that!

Me: Look there goes a pretty birdy…

Muse: Where, where looks around frantically before wandering off in search of the 'bird'

Ohhh also thank you to the fab NcsGirl who contributed my muse to the cause, wanna see some funny muses check out her fab fics!

So …er…weren't you going to review? Looks hopeful!

Edit I'm really sorry if that didn't make sense. Just blame Its all their fault. /edit