JOHNNY BE GOOD
by ardavenport
- - - Part 1
The door of the Station Fifty-One locker room flew open and a somewhat frazzled looking John Gage came hurrying in as Roy DeSoto pinned his badge to his uniform top.
"I know I'm late. I know, I know."
Roy checked his watch. "Almost late. You still have two minutes."
Gage already had his shirt off and pulled his undershirt over his head.
"Uh, what's. . . .?" Roy leaned to one side, trying to get a better look.
"Huh?" Gage turned to look at him, one hand holding a fresh white undershirt from his locker.
"Uh, never mind. Hurry up."
"Yeah, I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying." He struggled into the undershirt.
Roy left. Gage stripped off the rest of his clothes, grabbed fresh ones from his locker and climbed into them. His fingers fumbled on the buttons of his blue uniform top, the zipper of his pants, his name tag, fireman's badge. Shoes, laces sloppily tied.
Tucking the tails of his shirt into his pants, he hurried out, almost tripping on a shoelace as he came around the Engine. Standing before his men, Captain Stanley only glanced up at him before looking back down at his clipboard.
"Nice of you to join us, Gage."
"Hi Cap." He brushed his uncombed hair back, but got no response from any of the others.
Stanley began his list. "Well, it looks like everyone here had a happy new year last night." The C shift had answered to three rubbish fires, two dumpsters, an early morning traffic accident and a run to a loud party about a very loud drunk with a bleeding ulcer. And that was just what happened after ten o'clock at night.
As the captain went through his morning list, and the adrenalin rush wore off from nearly being late to work, Gage started to sag from the lack of food and especially lack of coffee. After that, they went through the usual morning routine, checking out the engine, squad, the equipment, the biophone. Roy had already talked to Dwyer from C shift. There were no issues with the squad and they had replenished the drug and trauma box supplies after the traffic accident.
"Looks like you had a late night."
Gage's head snapped up at the sound of Roy's voice.
"Yeah, I guess." He closed the drug box and put it away.
"I thought you didn't have a date for New Year's."
"I didn't." He closed the compartment door on the side of the squad. "But Laverne was having a party and she had a friend who needed a date."
"Your neighbor."
"Yeah. You met her."
"Yeah, I met her." Roy nodded.
"And it was just down the hall from my place. . . . "
"You got stuck with a blind date." DeSoto climbed down from the back of the squad where he was checking the air bottles.
"Yeah, stuck is the right word for it. She's a part-time waitress where Laverne works. Going to school in art or advertising or something like that. She wore glasses and had hairy legs and hardly said two words that anyone could understood."
Finishing with the squad, they could smell coffee as they entered the dayroom.
"So, the date didn't go well. How about the party?" They both went to the kitchen end of the room and poured cups for themselves.
"Gage had a bad date? Sounds like business as usual." Chet Kelly was already sitting with the others at the kitchen table with his cup.
"Oh, shut up, Chet." Johnny took a welcome sip of morning coffee. "Anyway, the party was fine."
"Was Edgar there?" Roy sipped from his own coffee mug.
"Well, yeah. He's Laverne's boyfriend."
"And they weren't fighting?"
"They don't always fight. It was just that one time when you were over."
"Oh, it was just that one time." But the slight tone of sarcasm went over Gage's head. "So, if the party was fine and the date was a bust, what happened?"
"Oh, I don't know." Gage went to the table and slouched down into a chair with his coffee. "Laverne's sister made this weird, hot spiced wine punch. Glug or glurg, or something. And I only had one . . . "
"Glogg?" Chet grinned knowingly. "It wasn't an old Swedish tradition was it?"
Johnny thought for a minute, leaning over the laminated white table top with his coffee. "Yeah!" He leaned forward. "Yeah, that's what she said. What was it?"
Kelly shook his head slowly. "Oh, you were out of your depth, Gage. I ran into that stuff when I was in the army."
"I only had one!"
"Well, they probably put a lot of whiskey in it. Or brandy. Or both, since it was New Year's."
Gage sat back. "Whiskey? There was whiskey in it?"
"When it's made in the old Swedish tradition, yeah." Both Lopez and Stoker, sitting at the table with their own mugs, looked from Chet to Gage who scratched his head.
"I didn't taste any whiskey in it."
Grinning, Kelly leaned forward over the table. "Well, you just can't handle your fire water, Gage. Three beers puts you under the table."
Johnny sneered back at him, but he didn't deny the statement, either.
"You have been working those extra shifts for the other guys." Roy reminded his partner of the overtime he had been picking up over the holidays, when many firefighters with families wanted to trade days off. "You were probably just tired."
Chet didn't believe that one. "Oh, he wasn't tired. Gage just can't drink."
"Well, you can have it." Johnny glared petulantly. "We all know how well the Irish do with alcohol."
"So, you had too much at the party last night and that's why you were almost late this morning." Roy butted in before the discussion could degenerate any further.
"I just had one!" Johnny used both hands for emphasis. "And that wasn't why I was almost late anyway. I was almost late because I didn't hear the alarm this morning."
Everyone at the table looked at him. Even Captain Stanley looked up from the log book and took a sip of coffee. Roy voiced the obvious question.
"Why didn't you hear the alarm?"
Johnny's shoulders dropped.
"I didn't hear the alarm this morning because . . . . I woke up on Laverne's couch. I had just enough time to grab my things and get here." He mumbled the last part into his coffee.
"Grab your things?" Kelly's eyes lit up. "Gage, you were naked? On Laverne's couch?"
"I was not! I still. . . . had on my underwear."
Lopez grinned broadly. "Must've been a great party."
"I don't know! I don't remember what happened! I don't even remember getting to midnight." He looked down unhappily and then up at his partner, who an 'Ah ha' expression on his face.
"What?"
His thoughts interrupted, Roy looked at him. "Oh, nothing. It's just. . . . .well, if you had your shirt off I guess that's how you got that mark on your back from."
Gage sat up straight, his hand automatically going to his back. He didn't feel anything.
"What? What mark?"
"I don't know. I just caught a glimpse of it back there, but you turned around."
Gage kept touching his back. He still didn't feel anything.
"Well, lets have a look."
Gage gave Kelly a cross look. But now he really wanted to know what Roy had seen. Laverne wouldn't have done anything bad, he was sure of that. Would she? He got up and turned his back to Roy and pulled his shirt up. But Kelly, Lopez and Stoker came around to see anyway.
DeSoto commented first. "Oh look at that."
"That's a work of art."
"That's really good."
"What?" Gage tried to look over his shoulder but Roy pulled his shirt up even higher.
"Hey didn't you say your date was some kind of art student?"
"Yeah." He tried looking over his other shoulder.
"She's pretty good." Lopez sounded impressed.
"So, what have you got there?" Captain Stanley had gotten up to have a look.
"Wait there's more up here." Kelly tugged his shirt up so high he had to raise his arms.
"Hey!"
"Ha ha ha ha!"
"That's a real work of art."
"Oh and look down here." Lopez poked a finger on his middle.
"Ha!"
"Oooooooh, man. Look at that."
"There's more down here." Kelly let go of his shirt and pulled down sharply on his pants.
"Hey!"
The burst of laughter from the men behind him was finally too much and Gage shook himself free. Turning around, he saw five men nearly paralyzed with laughter. Even Captain Stanley. That had to be bad.
"What?!"
Roy opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Johnny held his hands up, a beckoning gesture, but Roy still couldn't manage to speak.
"Gage," Kelly grabbed his arm and patted his back as he forced the words out between laughs, "that was the best date you ever had."
Aghast, he just stood there. Stanley seemed to recover his composure first though his wide grin was fairly disturbing.
"It's really hard to describe."
Stoker, also grinning, agreed. "Really hard."
"What?! What's back there?"
He felt his back again, but no one seemed willing to say what was there. Finally, he decided to go look for himself.
He got two steps in the direction of the locker room before the station alarm sounded.
Oooooooeeeeeeee-mmmmaaaaahhhh - BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
"Station Fifty-One. Man locked in bathroom. Seven Thirty-Two Ocean Bluff. Time out, eight forty-five."
- - - End Part 1
