Finding Myself
Chapter 1: In the Moment
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts
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Riku walked along the boardwalk with his two best friends, Axel and Demyx. It was the first evening of spring vacation of his sophomore year of high school. It was Demyx's, too, and they were ready for the break after months and months of hard work. Riku thought the school headmaster must be incredibly unhappy and intent on making everyone else unhappy too, because breaks were few and far between. On top of that, they were short. But this vacation was different from last years; it was a week longer. Axel, a junior at the same school, didn't really care. He was sick of school and didn't try like Riku and Demyx did. Sometimes Demyx teased that Axel was going to drop out, and when Axel, in all seriousness, replied that he was considering it, Riku practically freaked out. He was a dutiful student, not because he wanted a future for himself but because his father worked hard to put him through a private school. Riku wanted to repay him, and this was the only way he knew how. Of course, being headstrong, Riku also insisted that his friends do the same. Demyx was pretty good about school, but Axel was a continuous worry for Riku. People outside the close-knit group didn't know it, but Riku was something of a mother hen.
But Demyx had stayed calm when Axel said he might drop out, and said that he would too if Axel did. Axel, caring more for his friend than himself, decided that maybe he wouldn't drop out after all. Riku didn't always understand that about Axel; despite being irresponsible and sometimes childish, he was unswervingly loyal to his friends and didn't apply the same rules to himself he did to them. Cool salt air breezed through Riku's jacket, making him shiver.
"Do you want my jacket, too?" Axel asked. Riku shook his head no and they continued on to the end of the boardwalk in silence. Most of the cheap food stands were closed but the arcade was open, bright lights flashing and crowded still. The three boys walked past the arcade, staring at the teens inside. There were so many different kinds of people and so many labels for all of them. Riku liked to think that the trio formed a different kind of people, ones who couldn't be labeled. Or if they were, the label wouldn't be adequate. They leaned on the rail at the very end where wooden boards dropped off into a blackness, at this time of night only the sound of the ocean could be heard, smashing against the pillars, but that was it.
"It's fucking cold." Demyx had been picking up on Axel's swearing lately, Riku noted. He didn't think it fit the young blond, innocent as he was; certainly the most innocent of the three. Riku tut tuted at him, wagging a finger jokingly.
"I don't think you realize just how funny you sound." Demyx glanced ruefully at Riku and humphed. Axel patted his back in consolation.
"Don't worry, someday you'll be able to be cool as I am." Axel grinned and Demyx elbowed him. The three stood closed together as the wind picked up, Demyx in the middle. They said nothing for a while. Riku enjoyed the feeling of freedom the wind gave him. It blew is sliver hair back, and he lifted his chin, defying it. Axel was impatient though, ready to do something exiting. He had promised to keep the other two boys out all night in celebration of the break.
"You guys wanna catch a movie or something? There's that new horror flick out, you know, the one with all the blood and guts…" Demyx shivered this time, but not from the cold. He knew Axel was teasing him about his fear of scary movies, but he didn't care.
"All scary movies have blood and guts," Riku said disinterestedly, slightly annoyed that Axel had broken into his reverie. "Still, let's go. It'll be fun." Riku turned back, looking at the long walk they had to the car. He sighed, completely content with life.
"Don't worry, I'll hold your hand through the whole thing, okay?" Axel teased Demyx more, earning himself another jab to the ribs. He laughed, and the other two joined in. They felt the lightness of no responsibility and were enjoying it to the fullest.
Back at the car, Axel pulled his keys out of his long black coat and unlocked the door. It squeaked when opened, and the younger two piled in the backseat, which was stained with age and use. Axel got in the drivers seat and started the car. Riku always got nervous when Axel drove whether he was in the car or not; Axel was so reckless, it was a miracle he hadn't crashed yet. They sped off into the night. The bright red numbers in the dashboard showed it was almost 11:30. Even so, Riku didn't feel how late it was, even if he usually when to sleep and hour and a half earlier. Or so he thought. By the time they got to the theatre, he was snoring peacefully away, head bouncing on the glass window as the car went over speed bumps. After one particularly violent bump, Riku snapped awake, surprised he had fallen asleep in the first place.
"Time to get up, sleepy-head." Demyx shook his shoulder, unaware that Riku was already awake. Riku answered with a groan and got out of the car.
Axel insisted on paying for the tickets. He had just gotten a pretty well paying job, and he wanted to show off a little. Riku took it the wrong way.
"It' not like we're your girlfriend." Axel smiled a little sad smile.
"Does that mean I get to have two boyfriends?" Axel had known since his freshman year he was gay. He had had a crush on one of the male teachers, the physical education teacher. They guy was young and good-looking, at least to Axel, who's senses couldn't be trusted since he was head-over-heels for the guy. Of course, any real relationship was impossible. So it happened that Axel kissed a guy who had come on to him at a rock concert. The guy looked remotely like his teacher, and he was older, too. That was his first and only kiss. Axel wasn't embarrassed about being gay, but he didn't want his two friends to know. He didn't think they wouldn't like him anymore, but the possibility was there, and he wasn't about to put the friendship on the line for something like that. He resolved just to stay single for as long as it took. It wasn't like he liked either of them, other than a small crush on Riku from once upon a time. It didn't really matter.
He bought the tickets but let Riku and Demyx fend for themselves when it came to snacks. Riku got chocolate, and Demyx got popcorn to share with Axel. They sat down in the empty theatre, right in the middle. Demyx insisted on sitting between the other two. He said it made him feel just a little safer.
"Don't worry, we won't let the movie monsters get to you." Riku laughed and Demyx's cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
"Whatever. I'm not that scared." It was obvious, once the movie started, that he was. Demyx was unconsciously whimpering and shaking. Riku and Axel scooted up close on either side of him, trying to make him feel better even if they did tease him. Demyx appreciated it.
After the movie full of blood and guts and women getting sawed in half, Riku and Axel led the shaking boy from the theatre and back to the car. Once outside, he calmed down a little, and in the car he was almost fully recovered. They were heading back to Axel's place to have a sleepover. The plans they had earlier, however, were ruined by the movie. This early in the morning, they most likely weren't going to get a whole lot of sleep.
Axel's place was actually his father's place. But his father was never around and Axel couldn't remember having a mother, so the place had become his. Not that it was anything to be proud of. It was small and dirty, in the bad side of town. Axel said he didn't mind so much, that he had everything he needed: a bed, a kitchen, a tv, and the convenience store at the corner of the street. Riku envied his freedom, something he wished he could have all the time. The boys practically fell through the doorway once it was opened.
"Jesus, it's fucking late," Axel noted. "Who wants the bed?" Of course, all of them did. It ended up that all three piled on, but in the morning, Axel found himself on the floor with both the pillows and blanket, Demyx was peacefully sleeping on the corner of the bed pushed up to the wall, and Riku was upside-down on the bed. Axel was the first to wake up at 1 in the afternoon. He made a huge breakfast, using everything he had bought a few days before just for this occasion. Eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, fruit, apple and raspberry turnovers, chocolate milk and coffee were what he had decided on. By the time it was done Riku and Demyx had woken up and were waiting to gorge themselves. Despite the time Axel spent preparing the breakfast, it was eaten in front of the tv. Riku never ate like that at his house, as his dad insisted they eat at the table together. The mindless staring at the tv reminded him that it was break and he could do whatever he wanted. This though made him laugh out loud.
"So, what are we going to do today?" He stood and stretched, ready to clean up and get going.
"How about the beach?" Demyx suggested. Riku started to bring the dirty plates to the sink, but Axel stopped him.
"I can get that later. And I don't feel like the beach."
"Come on, Axel. Its such a nice day, all sunny and warm. We should go… please?" Demyx batted his eyes at Axel playfully. He knew that the older boy wouldn't be able to refuse.
"Okay, fine. We can go."
The beach was exactly as Demyx said it would be: hot and sunny. Usually at this time of year, it was still rainy and sometimes chilly, but today was special. It made Riku happy to be there. The boys swam and buried Demyx in the sand, then swam again. Even Axel, who was incredibly conscious of his almost too-pale skin forgot about that and just fooled around. After a while they tired themselves out, Riku and Axel from swimming and Demyx from digging himself out of the sand while the others watched and laughed. They were lying on the dry sand, staring up at the sky and talking about nothing in particular when Riku's cell rang. He ignored it, letting the Sanctuary ring tone play. After a moment, whoever it was called again, and when Riku ignored it, again.
"Jesus, Riku, just pick up the goddamned phone," Axel complained. It had woken him up. So Riku pulled himself off the warm sand and got the cell. It was his dad that had called. This was weird, Riku thought, since his dad knew where he was going to be. He called back, and his dad answered on the first ring.
"Where are you?" was the first thing Riku heard.
"At the beach with the guys." It was a and you can't do anything about it statement.
"I want you to come to dinner with me and Lydia. We have some things to talk about." The tone of voice made Riku nervous. "Have Axel drop you off at home as soon as possible. Bye." He didn't wait for Riku to say bye back before hanging up. What was up with such a strange phone call? Riku had no idea what this was about. Going to dinner with Lydia? She was his father's girlfriend. They had been together for just a few months. Riku hated the bitch.
"Riku, what's up?" Demyx asked worriedly. He picked up on the nervous energy radiating from Riku.
"My dad says that I have to go home and get ready to go to dinner with him and Lydia. I have no idea why this is happening." Riku rubbed his temple. The woman gave him a headache, and she took pleasure in doing so. Going through a whole dinner with her would be horrible. "If I don't come back, you know why I died."
Axel chucked. "I'm sure it'll be okay. Just call me and I'll pick you up, okay?" Riku nodded in thanks. "I guess we'd better go. Don't want your dad nagging on me for getting you home too late."
The drive to Riku's house seemed too short. There was actually quite a bit of traffic (and swearing from Axel because of it), but Riku wanted to spend time with his friends, not his dad and Lydia. If it was just his dad, it wouldn't be so horrible, but… that lady was so mean and conniving. He didn't understand why his dad was still with her.
"Just call me when you're done. I'll pick you up wherever."
"Thanks, man."
"Good luck!" shouted Demyx through the window as they drove away.
When Riku walked through the door, his dad shouted something about Lydia helping him choose something to wear. Riku warily walked to his room. The door was open wide, adding to the tension. There was nothing in the world that could have prepared him for the typhoon that seemed to have hit his room. Clothes were spread all over everything; the bed, the desk, the floor. Ties that didn't belong to Riku were lined up next to a select few collard shirts. And in the middle of the havoc stood Lydia, hands on her hips. Riku stared at the room in shock.
"What are you doing? Go take a shower. Quickly, now." This comment made Riku stare at her in surprise. She was awfully comfortable with bossing him around. "Go." She pointed to the door. He slowly turned around, still in shock, and trudged to the bathroom.
In the shower, Riku thought about what had happened. His dad never talked to him like that. It was just mean. Not that it hurt or anything, but still… and the was Lydia walked into his room without asking and went through his clothes… he wondered where she got her attitude.
"Get out already! We need to go, and you've been in there for fifteen minutes!" Lydia yelled through the door. Riku sighed and dried off, shaking his hair like a wet puppy. The sight of his hair flying around made him giggle as he watched himself in the mirror.
"What are you doing in there?" An exasperated voice said. Riku wrapped his towel around his waist. It seemed Lydia had finally chosen what she wanted him to wear. The outfit consisted of a dress shirt and pants, tie, and jacket. And then he noticed the leather shoes at the foot of the bed. "Be ready in half an hour. No wrinkles in the clothes and hair tied back and neat. Okay?" And with that, she left the room. Riku stuck his tongue out at her as she walked out.
Half an hour later Riku and his dad were ready and waiting for Lydia, who was nowhere to be seen. Another half an hour later, Lydia said she would be done in ten minutes. His father was wearing a suit, the first time Riku had ever seen him in one. Riku wore his jacket buttoned for now, wearing his own shirt underneath. He was sure it would give Lydia a nice surprise once they got to wherever they were going. Fifteen minutes later, Lydia walked down the stairs dressed in a skimpy black dress. The sight made Riku want to throw up.
That dinner was the fanciest dinner Riku had ever had in his life. The portions were tiny, the waiters degrading with their accents and demeaning looks. It was obvious to Riku and everyone else there that they weren't meant to be there; they were out of place as a frog in a birdcage. The three of them ended up ordering too many too small dishes. By the time they were finished eating, Riku could tell whatever this was about was coming soon.
"Riku, we have something to tell you."
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How was it for a first chapter? Everyone loves a review (especially me), so please do. Thanks :)
