Chapter one: dream dreams and live nightmares
Video games are supposed to be fun.
I mean, seriously, video games. It has the word game in the title. How can it not be fun?
I have played a lot of games in my life. Quite a lot. Some I just couldn't get a solid grasp on. Some I spent countless hours mastering. Others caused me to silently fume as I constantly retried over and over.
However, I had never met a game that did not revolve around the concept of delivering an experience to the player.
Some might argue differently, but no matter what game I played, I got something out of it, no matter if it was good or bad.
And because I could recognize that, no matter how bad a game might be, I always got some modicum of enjoyment out of video games.
I used that enjoyment to fill in the gaps, the gaps between reality and dreams. But then that feeling faded, and I had to find a new source of enjoyment.
However, I was given a chance to experience the game that would end my silent suffering. I was given a chance to play the game of life in a universe not of my own.
In my original life, I was a selfish lazy manga-loving guy who took advantage of situations when they benefited me and was thought to be some sort of genius. I spent most of my days inside the comfort of my own house, enjoying not really having to do anything and using my time to browse the deepest corners of the net for manga and whatnot or just playing a game. I was an introvert, and so any relationships that I had that relied on me being there to respond quickly deteriorated, but if someone were to approach me or if I found someone I thought I would be comfortable with, I would spend time with them.
I tended to keep a cool attitude about things, not really letting things get to me. I kept every emotion I had that would be detrimental to my well being locked up and instead thought it would be better to just be happy and carefree. This backfired on those occasions where I really did get angry, and when I got angry. I got ANGRY.
As stated before, I used most of my time to play games or use the Internet. But, I suppose, when I have neither, I just simply sat on my bed and thought. These instances of pure boredom and just sitting around on my bed thinking had gotten to a point where I would spend most of the evening just thinking on things. The games which had used to give me some sort of entertainment had faded over time, and the Internet could only hold ones interest for so long, when one as introverted as I did not join any sort of forum or social networking site. I just couldn't handle the pressure of having to continually talk to people for long periods of time. Hell, just texting some of my close friends, the few I had, was a strain I could barely handle for short periods of time.
I suppose my lack of social interaction was the reason I started to view things as... Hollow. Things just stopped being interesting after time. I just stopped caring after a while. School. People. Games. All of it just started to seem meaningless.
I did mention I was selfish as fuck though. Even though I viewed much of the things I did as meaningless bullshit to fill in my time during my existence, I wanted to live. There was no way I was going to die. So, instead of contemplating suicide or something stupid like that, I just thought up new things to fill in the time. I suppose that's why how much time I spent thinking went through the roof.
I went to sleep more often, thanks to how much time I spent thinking in my room. I slept for hours at a time, sometimes the entire day, if I had a vacation or something.
I liked sleeping. I didn't have to do anything when I slept. I didn't have to think, I didn't have to worry, I didn't really have to do any of the social responsibilities forced onto my person.
So in sleep, I found peace.
I wasn't the type to dream. My brain was hard-wired to just go to sleep and seemingly wake up a few seconds later, from my perspective. However, when I did dream those few dreams that perpetrated the confines of my mind, they were so incredibly vivid and surreal.
My dreams had not been like that at first. Usually they were just blurry pictures that seemed vaguely familiar, but that quickly passed. Over time, they had become more and more life-like, and instead of just a single image, it had expanded to small segments of a life-time unknown.
I had fun little dreams, where I would be the main character of a manga or video game, traversing a plain or fighting enemies. They were always short, and they were mostly forgotten by the end of the day, but they were extremely vivid, almost as if I had been there.
Then, one afternoon, I had fallen asleep and dreamed.
And I didn't wake from my dream.
Instead, I had died in it.
The mud reached up to pull my boots down into the depths of the earth as I ran through the swamp. I shadows latched onto my face as I ran under the canopy made from the dense trees all around me. The sound of labored breathing reached my ears, but it sounded so far away, even though I recognized it as my own.
I had been running for a while. From who or from what, I don't know. I just knew I had to run, run as if my life depended on it. For all I knew, it did.
Suddenly, my head jerked to the side, reacting to a swishing sound coming from the right side of my face. A sword greeted my vision.
I turned around and did a backflip, putting my back to a tree, before drawing my own sword from my back, and deflecting the next attack that had been aimed at my torso. I struck back with a thrust, attempting to stab my would-be assailant with the red blade I carried.
The assailant, a dark, robed figure, jumped back to avoid the blow. Using the distance created between us, I grabbed a small object from a pocket on my leg and threw it on the floor.
A large plume of dark smoke covered the area. I covered my face with the sleeve on my right arm, trying not to breathe in any of the smoke, before finding an exit and hoping I escaped the man in the cloak.
I ran for only a few more minutes before I came to the edge of a cliff. I turned around to find another place to run, but found myself facing the hooded man.
"Welcome to the the end, the beginning, and the forever..." He softly spoke in a gravely tone. "Are you ready? Ready to die and live?"
I kept quiet, ignoring the mans words and instead searching for a way to escape.
"Heh... Do not try to escape. You cannot escape from this. Not now. Not ever. In fact, I doubt you can even move right now..."
I turned my head away from searching for an exit and looked at him, wide eyed. I attempted to try moving forward, but, as he said, I found myself unable to.
"I am sorry I have to do this, but I must..." He took a step forward with the sword he had tried to stab me in the face with earlier. "Dream your dreams, have your nightmares..."
He pulled back the sword, and, with both hands, thrust the sword towards my abdomen and skewered me all the way through to the back.
I stretched a shaky hand for my stomach, the pain overwhelming. The dark, dark black of blood... I could see it, painted over my fingers, skidding and dripping off, sending droplets of blood careening to the ocean below.
My legs grew weak. I wanted to kneel, but the sword locked me in place, forcing me to stand. The cloaked man stepped closer, and he pulled me towards him, allowing me to lean into his willowy form.
"And let the games begin..." He whispered into my ear.
He slid the sword out, flicking my blood over my face. he tipped me backward, toward the precipice of the cliff.I tipped over the edge, falling down into the water below.
I hit the water moments later, but it felt like an eternity. Surprisingly, I did not feel a thing upon coming into contact with the water, which did not seem to bother my addled mind at the time. Instead, I watched as blood slowly drifted into the water, the evening sun lighting the red liquid on fire beneath the waves.
And then it slowly became dark, and eventually I found myself waking up to darkness.
I blearily opened an eye, and then quickly close it because of how tired I was and because of the throbbing headache I had. Said headache prevented me from actually returning to sleep, so I got into a cross-legged position and covered my eyes with my hands, recalling the dream I had.
"Woah... That was a trip..." That was the first time I had died in a dream before. It was also the first time I had felt pain in one, which was completely out of the ordinary. The details of the dream where quickly fading from my mind, but it still felt so surreal...
I lifted my head out of my hands and looked around. "What the fu..?"
It was completely pitch black, no matter which way I turned. I had originally thought the darkness was simply my eye still adjusting to the darkness of my bedroom, but it simply was just an ink-like void.
I couldn't find my bed, nor could I feel it. In fact, I couldn't feel anything. I pushed my hand to the 'floor', but all I felt was a kind of resistance, as if something had just decided to keep my hand in place.
"Shit... Am I still dreaming?" I said to myself. I never lucidly dreamt, so if I was lucid, then i could do whatever I wanted, which would be pretty cool.
I decided to test out my dream theory by trying to wish in a milkshake. I got nothing.
"Oh come on!" I whined. Oh well, seems even in my dreams I'm confined to some set of rules. Screw you brain.
I stood up, straightening out my t-shirt and pants and correcting the placement of the glasses perched on my nose. Following that, I decided it was time to create a plan of action, now that the morning fog had been mostly lifted, even if I was still asleep.
I briefly searched my pockets for anything, only to find a few coins I kept on my person in case I wanted to buy a drink or something and my dead MP3 player.
"Nothing..." I closed my eyes and then opened them again. "Suppose its time to guess..."
A short while after I had been walking, I noticed something that I could have been doing. It was really impossible to tell if I was moving or not because of a combination of depth perception and the lack of being able to feel friction from the 'floor'. I could have just been walking in place, so I used the coins in my pocket as markers to determine depth. I flicked them forward and I walked towards them and picked them up, thus confirming that I was in fact moving forward.
I picked up my coins and began walking. It wasn't the best plan, but it was the only one I had.
The sound of flipping coins filled my ear while I walked. I thought over my dream, trying to remember the details, but with all the time that had passed, I could only remember the pain and a robed figure. I was also wondering if this was really a dream. It was the only thing this could possibly be, but it felt... Off. There really was no other way to describe it. I was starting to feel worried, and that feeling only increased as I continued onward. Was I really dreaming? What if it was something more? What if I'm in a coma? What if I will never find a way out?
It was at the point where I was almost paranoid that a small glimmer of light, far into the distance, caught my eye. It was my only option other than to lie down and wait, and I was not going to sit down while in this place. I ran full throttle for it.
I reached the source, fought my breath, and looked at the point of origin of the light. The sight caused me to send my hand through me hair and scratch the back of my head.
"The fuck? A door?" I felt like I should have been surprised, but for one reason or another, it failed to catch me off guard. "Seriously? A fucking door?"
The door itself was a strange combination of wood, iron, and glass. The door itself was mostly opaque tinted glass, with the glass separated by twisted iron. The combination of the glass and iron created a variety of shapes, some of quick I swore I recognized, such as something that looked like the golden ratio. The entire thing was surrounded by a blinding white wood frame which itself had a border of that blinding white light.
I looked behind the door, but there was nothing behind the said door, only more darkness. I stood at the front of the door for a minute or so before making up my mind.
"I am so going to regret this..." I grabbed the handle of the door and turned it, covering my eyes with my arm so I didn't get blinded, and stepped in.
"Oh come on... You have got to be kidding me."
I had entered an all white room, the exact opposite of where I had just been. It was a mirror of where I had just been, except inverted in color. There was one key difference though, and that was the random floating black words that were drifting lazily in the air.
New game
options
achievements (must start game to view achievements)
cheats and unlockables
I took in the black words floating in the air and thought to myself 'Why?' I decided since nothing seemed to make sense since I woke up, I didn't question it.
"New game? Am I in a video game in my head or something?"
As soon as I spouted the words new game, however, the words morphed into a new set of words.
Would you like to start a new game?
yes
no
"Huh?" I looked at the words for a second before quickly spouting out my reply. "No no no no no, back back back back!"
There was no way in hell I was going to start some random game even if this was some sort of dream world. Who knows, it might just screw me over, and I did not want that.
Instead, I decided to try some of the other menus, specifically the options menu. I might be able to get a hint at just what I was playing, if I was going to play this at all.
hints: disabled
reversed controls:disabled
battle mode: real time/ turn based
Exit
Well, fuck. There was nothing much in the options menu that was worth noting, seeing as there were only three options, at least reversed controls weren't enabled to troll me.
I did notice the hints were disabled, so I enabled them, and then exited out of that menu.
New game
options
achievements (must start game to view achievements)
cheats and unlockables
I went down the list once more, and my eyes came to rest at the bottom, where the black, ghost like words of "cheats and unlockables" hovered.
"Cheats and unlockables." I commanded. A split second later, the menu collapsed on itself and I was met with a rather redundant selection.
cheats (locked)
unlockables
I didn't mind cheating, but seeing as it was locked, I decided to see what unlockables there were, so I moved to the unlockables menu.
Custom BGM (have custom audio files loaded): disabled
Legendary mode: Disabled
? (Locked)
? (Locked)
? (Locked)
And the list went on like that until it hit the bottom, where it said "Exit".
I moved back to the top of the list and read off the top line.
"Custom BGM? Background music? What?"
would you like to enable Custom BGM?
yes
no
"I had custom mp3 files loaded? What the hell?" Well, the option itself seemed harmless enough, so I decided enable it. "Yes?"
Custom BGM enabled!
Custom BGM (have custom audio files loaded): enabled
Legendary mode: Disabled
? (Locked)
? (Locked)
? (Locked)
Exit
There was no way in hell I was activating legendary mode. It was probably some ultra hard mode or something like that, and there was no way I was going to activate that. Keeping that in mind, I just exited out and returned to he menu screen.
New game
options
achievements (must start game to view achievements)
cheats and unlockables
I had hoped to get a clue as to what the game was about from the other menus, but there was nothing that have me any hint as to what this game was. The achievements menu might have given me some clue, but that was also suspiciously locked, so I decided to think for a bit, getting into a sitting position on the white 'floor'.
Did I really want to play a new game? I wasn't all to sure. Most of me still thought this was a dream of some sort, and so I would probably wake up if I waited long enough. A small part of me, however, was unsure, and I might be stick here, in this world of white and black forever, and this 'game' might be my only escape.
I splayed our on the floor, and stared up at the white expanse above. I really wasn't sure. Should I? Shouldn't I? If I died in this game, would I be able to continue, as the menu stated, or was that just a trap? What if this game wasn't really a game at all? What if as soon as I said new game, I would instantly die?
I took in a deep breath and let it out before standing up and deciding my final fate.
"New game."
Would you like to start a new game?
yes
no
I sighed before saying my answer. "Yes."
The single word I said seemed to echo forever, before the scene suddenly change to the previous pitch black I had previously been in.
I panicked slightly. All new game did was send me back into this never ending place? Was I doomed to just be here forever? Then I noticed the stark white words high above my head, pasted to a pitch black invisible ceiling
would you like a default character, a custom character, or a personality based character? ( please note that once decided, you may not return to this screen unless a new game is started)
Oh great. More questions wandering around my head. Custom character? Such as create a character based off certain presets like in mass effect or soul calibur? And personality based? What did that even mean? And since this game had characters, was it an RPG or something? Ignoring the questions for now, I turned to what each character could mean for me.
I knew what a default character would mean, and I was tempted to just pick that one. Default characters were usually just presets that had certain skills they would learn as they leveled up, and only those skills. On the upside, they were easy. On the downside, they were incredibly linear.
The custom character would mean that I could customize my own character, hopefully. In that case I would be able to pick my own abilities and how I would look. The upside was that I would be able to pick what I wanted, but the downside is that in certain cases, something must be given up in return, such as the ability to wield a sword in return for not being able to fly or something like that.
The last one was strange. I assumed it was kind of like how a minecraft seed was generated, with a template of my personality given and then a history would be created off that personality. I was unsure of this, as the only games I had ever seen do anything like this were dwarf fortress in making entire worlds and minecraft in its seeds, along with most rougue-likes in their dungeon generation.
I thought it over, weighing the pros and cons, but eventually decided that the final option of a personality based character would probably be the best. If it is a character based off my personality, then the skill set of said character would probably be made to reflect said personality. Plus I didn't want to deal with any potential balance issues with creating a custom character, since I could return to the character creation screen if I decided I didn't like the process.
"Personality based character." I spoke with finality in my voice.
please wait, your character is being generated...
Loading screens. I hated loading screens. At least this one was quick, as it seemed to only take a minute.
your character has been generated. Please select your difficulty (please note that difficulty cannot be changed in game)
easy
medium
hard
I pondered this for a few seconds. I always hated choosing difficulty. I liked taking the easy route, but then all good unlockables unlock on hard, in any game I have played that had unlockables.
I wondered why the hell I was even contemplating this, as it was most likely all a dream, but I decided to just go with the flow in this particular scenario.
Normal seemed the route to go, though. Normal modes tended to have their fair share of unlockables, and maybe one of those could help me get through this fucking game faster.
"Medium."
Medium selected. Generating world, please wait...
There. It was done. No way out of this now. No possible way anyway, seeing as I way trapped here. I only had to wait... So I took a sitting position with my hands resting on the impossible floor behind me, trying to gather my nerves for whatever was to come.
It didn't take long before I started to fell myself slowly sinking backwards into the floor. It began slowly, but then quickly ramped up in place. I turned my head to see my hands slowly disintegrating into nothing. I am not ashamed to say I screamed.
"Holy fucking shit no no no..." It was strange. I could see my arms slowly disappearing but my mind wouldn't register that they were gone, as I could still feel my arms. "Noooo no no no..."
Then I noticed that the rest of my body had started to disappear. My heart was pounding away in my chest, and I feared for my life. "I don't want to die! I dot want to disappear!" I screamed.
I shouted and hollered and screamed at the top of my lungs for someone or something to come save me from my fate. I knew though, I knew that I would disappear forever. There would be nothing left of me, and he darkness would be lonely once more.
Eventually, the sound disappeared from my voice, as my neck had disappeared. The top of my mouth became open to the world as my jaw disappeared. Breathing became impossible as my nose disappeared. Sight refused to be mine as my eyes disappeared.
I was gone forever, as everything became nothing.
I was trapped in my own mind.
That was the only way to describe it.
I thought I was in a coma, as I could barely make a coherent thought, but that had been disproven soon enough. Moving felt impossible. I could move, but it required such a huge effort it was nearly impossible. I could open my eyes, but everything appeared in a blurry gray-scale and it was so hard to keep them open that I simply resigned to my fate. I at least knew I wasn't dreaming, but the cost felt too great.
I might never be able to move again. That thought, that single coherent thought among only a few others I had been able to think of, haunted me for weeks.
That, accompanied by the massive amount of pain I always felt, made me feel utterly hopeless.
I wasn't new to constant amounts of pain. My left leg, before all this happened, was always in chronic pain. Somedays it was manageable, while on others I swore I could barely walk do to the feeling of having a steel rod shoved up the back of my shin.
This was like the most extreme of those pains. Except it wasn't the feeling of a steel rod in my leg. It was the feeling of what felt like a thousand fire ants on the inside of my body trying to make it home.
The pain came and went, but it was always there, just in the corner of my cognitive mind.
In those weeks, I had learned a few things. One was that I was in fact alive. Two, the people who were taking care of me spoke Japanese, for some strange reason. I recognized a few of the words they spoke, which wasn't surprising considering all the anime I had watched. Perhaps the doctors (if they were in fact doctors) looking after me spoke in Japanese when in private? Three, everything looked so... Big, for one reason or another. I felt so small in those rare moments were I could see, even if it looked like a distorted photograph from the 1860s. And finally four, I think I was finally getting better.
The pain had started to dissipate, albeit not by much. Now it was a manageable sort of pain, similar to the kind that had plagued my left leg for most of my life. I could make sounds with my mouth, but I couldn't really make any sort of proper word yet. I couldn't feel my teeth with my tongue, only my gums, so they might have been removed. I couldn't think of plausible reason as to why doctors would remove teeth, but then again, whatever had put me in this state may have knocked out all my teeth. The bleariness in my eyes had started to lessen, and now things were starting to become clearer, although they were still that monotone color.
Whatever these doctors were doing, they were clearly doing their job correctly. I had a theory as to why I was in what I thought was a hospital, but even that was a bit far-fetched. My current theory as to what had happened to me was that I had been kidnapped while I had been sleeping and I had been fed hallucinogens to keep me asleep, this explaining the dream. However, I had a bad reaction to them, and upon leading of reaction, abandoned me. Then I had been found in this state and brought to wherever here was.
I only had to wait, and hopefully things would get better and I could go home. Yeah... Home...
I let myself slip back into the state of semi-unconsciousness I had taken to being in and fell asleep.
-
I had been here for what I assumed to be a month. In that time, I had managed to be able to focus on objects with clarity, although they were still in grayscale. My motor controls had slowly returned, but they were still pretty shit, compared to what I used to have. Words were possible now, although it usually came out as gibberish thanks to said crap motor controls. Most important of all, my ability to create complete thoughts had skyrocketed, and now i felt more like I used to. At least I had a reason for all of that now.
After regaining a bit more of my metal facilities, I was able to look around by tilting my head around and even getting up slightly. Upon discovery of being able to move in a more 3 dimensional range, I was able to take in a couple of facts.
1: I was trapped in what looked like a prison with wooden bars.
2: The comfortable bed beneath me was actually the floor to said prison, and said floor was actually just a couple of layered sheets atop of what I assumed to be a mattress.
3: the people that had been taking care of me did not appear big due to whatever I had been hit with, but actually were big, looking to be five times larger than I was. This in itself was hard to figure out due to how hard I had to concentrate to be able to see clearly.
4: I was actually really tiny, about the size of a new born.
A couple of thoughts ran through my head upon putting all the facts together. My first thought was that I might still be dreaming somehow, but that thought was thrown out the window upon thinking how many days I had been here, but the idea still had a bit of merit. The second thought immediately after that was that I had somehow been shrunken down into a baby. The cage I was in could be a crib, and in that case the people who were taking care of me would have to be my parents. That made absolutely no sense in any regard unless I was still asleep, or, as I had feared, the strange blackness had not, in fact, a concoction of my own imagination but something more.
I wouldn't accept that though. I needed more proof.
That proof came sooner than I had thought it would.
Usually, because of my disabled state of mind, I ignored what the people said, mainly because it had been to much of an effort to stay conscious. However, for the past two weeks or so, I had gained enough strength to take in what they were saying and try to understand it.
Since they conversed in Japanese and I didn't understand most of it, I could only pick up on on words that were repeated more often than not.
Kaa-San, tou-San, and Miku were the most common words that I heard. The first two were a obviously mother and father. At that point my insane theory seemed more and more reasonable. Miku, though, was repeated so many times it was like every other word was Miku. I had originally thought that the word was just some sort verbal tick or something like that, but it was said way to often for it to be anything of the sort.
It took me a while to actually connect the word to myself.
Apparently, wherever the hell this was, my new name in this baby body of mine was Miku. And from watching so much anime and reading so many mangas, i knew Miku was a girl's name.
Upon learning that, I fell back into my own mind trying to understand that. There might be a very high chance I was a girl.
Why was everything so fucked up?
It didn't really take too long to get over it, surprisingly, but I still hoped I was a guy with a girls name. Knowing my luck so far, it seemed highly unlikely.
Once that thought process had eventually removed itself from my mind after it train wrecked into my logic centers, I thought it would be a good idea to try and say a few words, as I wasn't going to get anywhere not knowing Japanese.
So I practiced the only word I currently knew that would come in handy, which was my 'name'. I thought about practicing the other words I knew, but that, for some reason, seemed to be the one I wanted to practice. Probably because it was easy to roll of the tongue and tou-San and kaa-San were a bit harder to say. I suppose it was me just being lazy.
And then came the day where I had tried saying my name without noticing a person, who was apparently my mother in this fucked up situation I found myself in, walk in.
"Miku... Miku... Miku?" It still felt weird trying to pronounce the word. I had come to terms with the fact that the name would probably be my name from now on, by it still felt incredibly weird trying to say it... Especially in that high pitches voice I discovered I now had. "Miku Miku!"
Then I heard a sound coming from a corner of the room. From my previous life, I had linked the sound I had heard with someone dropping clothes on a surface. This sound was most likely caused by a similar occurrence happening.
"Miku?" I heard someone say. There were a couple of footsteps that were suspiciously getting closer followed by a face entering my field of vision. It was the face of the woman who had been taking care of me. She was pretty, with a thin face and hair held back so that most of her hair was left to spike out behind her head. Her dark eyes were extremely warm, filled with a sort of love that I knew I had no right to be receiving. Still, I liked it, and just looking at those eye made me want to smile.
"Miku & ^+ & 8&" "-£+ Miku!" She had turned around and started hollering out in the direction of where she had come from. She returned to face me and I felt hands wrap around my small body and pick me up. "Miku, ( $ Miku! Kaa-San £€•£^* $ *¥€ Miku!"
It was pretty annoying not having any idea what they were talking about, but I was able to pick up on the few words I knew. I was pretty sure she was talking to me, probably trying to get me to speak my name once more.
Deciding to try and give what little happiness I could bring to her, I decided to say my name again. "Miku Miku!"
The woman giggled at my high pitched attempts to say my name and once more called out to someone. " $&& $+*¥• ££+*£! Miku &"*+•££+!"
Another set of footsteps, this one much heavier than the other set that came from the woman, made its way to my ears and another face entered my vision. This one was one I was a pale giant one, with high cheekbones and dark bangs down the side of his face. "$&& "$ &"*=¥+= $"*=?!"
"Miku & "*+=¥ $ " Miku!" She looked at me expectantly. "$ *^+=, *+€£+=£• &¥=*!"
I thought about it for a second before realizing it would be better to simply get it over with and maybe I could go back to sleep as I was starting to fire once more. "Miku!"
She hugged me gently after that, and then passed me off to the male next to her. "& +* Miku. &" £+=*¥•£€ &"+=£• &¥+*¥?"
"Miku!" I really wish I could say more than that, but one really does take for granted just how hard it is to even talk, let alone articulate words when one is young.
He also hugged me, putting me over his shoulder and holding me there for a minute or so.
Being a tiny tot, it was natural t be curious, and ever more so when your a person many times your current age trapped in a baby's body, and so when I saw something shiny that was just in reach just behind his arm, I grabbed it.
The man laughed before setting back in the wooden prison and taking something of his arm. "&"&&" £¥*=€==£ $ & +=£•¥. &"& £+£•• &"*=£ &"$ *%. & &" , Miku?"
He pushed the thing he had taken off of his arm right into my face, which I tried to grab out of instinct. However, once I got a closer look at the thing, I realized it looked extremely familiar.
The thing he had pulled was a strip of cloth with a shiny metal plate embedded directly in the center of it. On the metal was a small symbol, one I would recognize from anywhere.
It was the symbol of the Leaf village, located in the land of fire.
Holy shit. Holy freaking shit. That... That should't be possible. What the fuck... What... What?!
") $ ($) ( $ *=€¥ $"& *=**." Even though I heard the words, I was still in to much shock at finding out that nothing made sense anymore. Nothing. "$"&&), $"&$, Mika."
He turned around and was about to leave, but the woman stopped him, right in front of me, by hugging him. I was slightly dazed by the earlier revelation, and so when I saw the symbol on his back, I was put in a state beyond shock.
Right there, right on his back, was the symbol of the Uchiha clan. The clan that had caused nearly every problem in the entirety of the show. The clan that was wiped out except for three. The clan I was now apart of.
There was no way, no way this was happening. Absolutely no way in hell was this possibly happening. Why the fuck was this happening?
With so much to chew on, I just had to lie down and rest. My brain needed to digest this and call down, or I would practically explode from all the emotions going through my head.
What I had yet to find out was that this was not the most surprising piece of information to be presented to me. No. There was another piece of information that would change everything I knew about the situation at hand.
I was crying again.
I wasn't the type to cry. Even before all this, I made it a point not to cry. It made me feel horrible, and it usually affected those around me into either trying to talk to me or feeling slightly sadder than before they had seen me. However, when things got to a point where it got to be to much, my usual constant smile would fade into a deluge of tears.
My smile was my wall. I smiled so others could smile and I hoped they would simply ignore me and go back to wherever they came from and stop bothering me. I also smiled for myself, deluding myself into thinking that I could just be happy in the worst of times and things would just play themselves out to a happy ending.
But sometimes, sometimes I had to let the wall crumble, and I just wailed my heart out.
I felt utter despair. I was sinking towards the bottom of an endless ocean with no hope for escape in sight, and the pressure was increasing every second. I was completely alone.
My real parents. Gone. My siblings. Gone. My home. Gone. My life. Gone. Every single thing I had ever really cared about? Gone.
In its place, I got a pain wracked tiny female body in a place where the threat of death was around every corner.
So I cried because I could not stand the weight of the world around me. I cried for what was lost. I cried because it was the only option left available for me to do.
My new parents tried everything they could to calm me down from these episodes. Really, they did, and I could feel their worry and desperation, but that did little to alleviate what ailed me. More often than not, I found myself crying to sleep.
Even nine months after I had found myself here, I still let my tears flow. They had lessened with time, but I still had them.
I had resolved to stop crying a while ago. Crying would not help me survive. Crying would do nothing for me. I remember someone once said that one can only cry when it's all over, and right now it was just beginning.
I wiped my eyes and got up from my bed to go walk around. It was the middle of the night, so my parents were away on business, leaving me some free time to go walk around.
I was never really a day time person. On days where I had nothing to do I found myself sleeping in until three and going to sleep somewhere early in the morning. My new parents apparently worked a night shift, so I was alone for these periods. I usually balled my eyes out during these times, but now I resolved to try and really focus on my current task.
I hoped out of my tiny bed (I had finally graduated from the crib) and took a small walk on my week legs to the back porch.
I had learned how to walk around two months ago. By that point in time, my eyesight had fully developed and my motor skills were up to par with what I had wished it to be. It still wasn't anything to be proud of, but I could feel it getting better. The pains that I had felt when I had been younger had completely faded away, and in its place I now felt a warm honey-like flow. Occasionally I felt a small twitch here and there, but that had all but disappeared.
I took a detour to a small bathroom on the left and opened the door. A small toilet, shower, and sink greeted me as I entered.i was still way to short to reach the top of the sink, so I used a small stool next to the door to pull my way to the top of the counter.
There was a mirror above the sink held a dark reflection of the bathroom I was in. I could barely make myself out in the mirror, with my chubby face and thin, long hair, which was currently tied up behind my head. The black gown I was wearing blended in with the darkness of the bathroom.
I opened a faucet and wiped any remnants of water off my face and just stared at the unfamiliar face in the mirror. It was so alien... But it was mine. A small, tiny, chubby face. The face of someone who would most likely die again some time in the future.
I splashed some more water on myself and walked out the door, refusing to dwell on those thoughts. I made my way down the lonely halls and to the back porch.
Our house was a small one on the edge of the Uchiha compound, right next to a small forest which was cut off from the trees outside by the wall that surrounded konoha. The back porch led out to a small clearing right before the forest, and I found that this spot was the most relaxing place to be.
It was mostly grass with a few trees here and there, but it was incredibly relaxing to just lie down on the soft grass and just stare up at the sky.
The moon was full tonight.
I could see every star here. Every pinprick of light on the blanket of the sky. It was beautiful. But it still wasn't my sky.
The moon was above and I wasn't dead, so I suppose it doesn't matter if its my sky at this point.
My thoughts drifted around for a while. It happened a lot when I came here, in this spot in between the tree roots, just staring towards the heavens. Sometimes I thought about my old life. I thought about all the things I could have done that were lost to me, all the good memories I had. Sometimes I thought about my new life. Today, they drifted in that direction, settling on the topic of my family.
My father, who I discovered was named Ryusei, was apparently a jounin level ninja of the Uchiha clan. He was one of the lower ranking ones, but he never let it get him down. I had managed to pick up that he was part of the Uchiha police, which should have come as no surprise to me, but for some reason it did. He didn't smile a lot, and never stuck around the house for to long before leaving again, but I could see in his eyes that he cherished the time he spent with his family, including me.
My mother, on the other hand, seemed to be a chuunin rank ninja, but had decided to take a leave of absence to take care of me until I was old enough. Her name was Shinako, which was actually the third word I learned right after kaa-San. She was incredibly kind, and somewhat timid, but she had a hardened streak in her which showed up on occasion, although these were extremely rare. I had spotted some kind of seal on the back of her neck, and when I had asked her about it in the little Japanese I had learned, she had said that it was "her family protecting her from mean people trying to steal her secrets." I hadn't delved into it that much, but I was sure she would tell me in her own time what it was.
I loved them. They weren't my original family, sure, but they still took care of me these past months. They had a place in my heart for that.
My thoughts were turned back towards my body where I felt the slight twinge of pain at my neck. I sent a chubby hand towards the area and rubbed it slightly, trying to alleviate the pain, not that I had the fine motor skills to really do all that much. I had discovered that the pain I had felt during my first few months here had been chakra. I didn't know what I had expected it to feel like, but the large amounts of pain had not been quite what I had been expecting. I had tried experimenting with it, but if was like playing with fire, with an intense burning sensation occurring if I tried to move to much of it. I did find shifting it around while it was in my body extremely comforting though, so that was something I had tried doing in my spare time, which was actually all the time I was awake, really.
I started to think about the physical aspects of my body. I was a girl. I had even confirmed it. It still freaked me out. Just thinking about it made me feel... Wrong, in a sense. I generally tried not to think about it, but it was practically impossible not to think about it.
At this point, I decided I was better off staring into the moon high above. This just reminded me of the future to come, if things managed to change with my arrival.
Personally, I found myself not caring what the hell happened to Naruto or his buddies if I was born near his birth. No, he was the fucking shounen hero of this goddamned universe. He was destined to fucking survive. I hated and envied him for that.
On the other hand, the only good thing I had was than I was apparently part of the Uchiha clan, which had the most overpowered bloodline ever to exist. Problem was, I had to survive the massacre, which was going to happen sooner or later, as I had seen the fourth's face up on hokage mountain, and then I had to come back to the village without them knowing who I was without them killing me. I wasn't under the assumption that I could just walk back in after an excruciatingly long period of time and say I had survived and wished to be brought back to the village. They would interrogate me and then most likely kill me if they found out. This was a ninja village and I was under no pretense that they wouldn't do just that.
I had come up with several plans, none of which I even wanted to do. Some of which just made my eyes water thinking about it. In the end though, there was really only one that would probably work, and that was so risky it would only work if I was fucking lucky enough to pull it off. It was also the worst of them all.
I don't think I could even start the first step. I hated having to hurt people. Emotionally and physically. It always felt like I was feeling their pain too. If I wanted to live though, if I really wanted to live, then I would have to do it.
I will not die. No, I was too selfish to die. I had to do this.
A shift in the wind was a signal enough that it was time to get back inside. Pieces of grass clung to bits on the back of the clothes I wore, and the scent of grass followed me on my way back inside.
I hobbled on my tiny baby legs over to the door and made my way down the hall back to my room.
Then I felt it. It felt like a wave from the beach had overcome my entire body and was washing it away. Except, it burned. It burned so badly.
I collapsed onto the floor, just outside my room, and curled into a small ball. Tears welled up in my eyes as wave after wave of pain came and went, each stronger than the last. It burned. It burned from inside out. It burned everywhere. It was like acid had been poured into my body and left there to slowly worm it's way out. And it burned so badly...
I could feel hate. Anger. Rage. All of it. It was concentrated on me. Oh god I was going to die. No, I wasn't going to die, not die... Yeah, don't die... That's what I was going to do. Don't die...
I shivered and coughed. Flecks of blood spewed out of my mouth and nose, giving my taste buds a meal of copper and my nose the smell of blood.
I stayed curled up on the floor, shivering, in pain, trying to figure out what was going on. The sheer malice I was feeling, however, was clouding my thoughts. I couldn't breathe because of the red liquid filling my nose and mouth. I couldn't move because of the pain. And it was still getting worse. Oh dear god was it getting worse. I didn't believe it was possible to feel so much pain, but it was. My arms burned away. My heart turned to ash. My eyes were coals that were still burning bright. Everything was on fire.
I felt like passing out for quite a while, in a puddle of my own blood that stemmed from my orifices. My mind and the pain wouldn't let me. They wouldn't let me just go to sleep and block it all out.
I wavered on the edge of consciousness. Never really going under but not really awake enough to understand what was going on. I could feel my chakra going haywire inside of me, trying to fight off whatever was causing the pain but failing to do so and simply causing more of it.
Just when I thought I was at the threshold of my pain tolerance, the pain slowly started to lessen. My breathing, sporadic due to my blood drowned lungs, had finally leveled out to a level where I could breathe, but just barely. My nose and mouth were stuffed with dried blood, and my clothes were practically soaked on one side with the amount of blood that managed to pool under me.
With the source of the pain finally gone, my body finally allowed itself to pass out.
I felt warm. It was like I was resting on a cloud. I took a deep breathe in, and relaxed a bit more into the cloud. However, this only changed the cloud into something harder, and started to bring me out of the relaxed state I was in.
My eyes felt extremely dry. I attempted to crack one open slowly, but the pain from the intense amount of light was a bit much. I waited a few more minutes before slowly opening both eyes, which had by then adjusted to the light.
I was in a bed, as I had assumed, but it wasn't in my room. My room wasn't this blindingly white. Nor did it have an annoying beeping that constantly chimed away or that burning sterile smell.
I wiggled slightly, trying to lift me head up, but found myself trapped under something. I looked down to see an arm covering the thin sheet that was being used as a blanket.
I followed the arm all the way up to a familiar sight.
"Kaa-San?" I called out weekly. My throat was parched, so it came out as more of a hiss. "Kaa-San?"
Her eyes instantly shot open once I said her name a second time, a series of emotions running across her face all at the same time. "Miku? Oh Miku, you're awake!"
Her eyes were bloodshot, as though she hasn't slept in several days. She had dark bags under her eyes and her skin was several shades paler than usual. Her hair, which was usually tied up, had become free of its bonds and had gone wild, spiking out all over the place. "You have no idea how much you worried me Miku..." She hugged me tightly, bringing my body closer to hers. I could feel a wetness on my shoulder as she did so.
"What happened, kaa-San? I don't..." I couldn't remember the word for remember, so I just trailed off. "It hurt Kaa-San..."
"Don't worry, Miku-chan. Nothing will hurt you anymore. Nothing..." She hugged me tighter before letting me go and getting back on her chair. "You were hurt Miku. By a really scary demon. But it's okay now. The ninjas took care of it."
Demon? Like the bijuu? What was going on? What the hell happened? "Kaa-San? I don't get it..."
She gripped me in another hug before speaking again. "It's okay Miku. You'll get it when you're older... Just get better for now. The ¥•+*¥•+ ('hospital maybe?' I thought) will take care of you."
She got up from her stool beside my bead and kissed my forehead. "I have to go now, but I will be back, okay Miku-chan? Be a good girl and sleep, okay?"
She gave me one more hug before leaving me alone in the white room.
I gave a quick sigh before getting comfortable in this bed, but I found that to be impossible. No matter which side I tried to turn, it was always to lumpy or to warm or too cold or something. I settled on just trying to think about what happened while trying to get comfortable.
Really, what had happened? I was waddling back inside and then I had collapsed because it felt like I was being Burt alive while simultaneously having the life sucked out of me... And kaa-San said it was a demon that did it... But that makes no sense. The only demon in konoha was the kyuubi, and that apparently attacked the walls of the village and was nowhere near me at the time, so what the fuck happened?
Out of the corner of my eye, just as was about to try and stick my head under the extremely thin pillow this hospital had supplied me with, I noticed a white streak on the wall that looked... Off.
I shifted my head to face the wall, expecting it to be some trick of the eye, but what I saw made me freeze.
event completed! Survived kyuubi attack!
new unlockable!
achievement(s) unlocked!:
- Sensitive issues (15 gs): survive kyuubi attack event!
- 1 year wheel (30 gs): description locked
New items!
-storage scroll (item unknown)
Continue?
yes
no
What. The. Fuck?
I decided that that was a good sign as any that my brain should just power down and pass out.
So I did.
Alright. Probably my worst idea ever. Seriously, how the hell did this idea even pop up in my head? i hate the naruto fanfic archive with a passion, so i really dont know why i decided to write this.
Seriously, i hate the god damned archive. It's the same thing everywhere. The last original story i read was ouroboros or something similar to that, and it was some time ago since i found that.
Well, whatever, i dont care if you love or hate this, i wrote this cause i was bored. simple as that. So hope you have a little bit of enjoyment at the least when you read this.
Oh yeah, also Disclaimer whatnots and nonsense.
Anyway, word of warning, i wrote this at different times so the flow could be slightly choppy and this is a self-insert OC type story. I also want to take this story in a different path than most, although im not sure if i will finish this at all since i barely put any effort into throwing this together. Also screw romanji, im too lazy to google translate and that crap bugs me anyway.
Well, it is done. I wrote this on my ipod in my spare time, so sorry if there are any obvious mistakes. Auto-correct tends to make some words other words when i'm not paying attention.
If you can't tell by the name, i tend to stick around the fate/stay night archives. Currently thinking about doing a crossover with the Achievement hunter crew and said world of fate/stay night. probably going to stay a one-shot though. I just cant resist the thought of Gavin with a reality marble... Hehehe... basic idea is that the AH crew get summoned as servants because fulcrum burnie was the avenger of the 3rd grail war and the grail was turned into a conceptual version of the tower of pimps. Seriously, Gavin as Caster with a reality marble and Michael as MOGAR as Berserker, what can go wrong with that? (ONE-SHOTTED FINALLY)
Also thinking of doing a story with hinata having multiple personalities after the Kumo thing. not sure if i should do it though... If you believe i should go through with it, then let me know, cause right now im pretty borderline on whether or not i should... (As of right now, i am working on this but it is really fucking hard to decide where to start the story and how to input all those personalities...)
Anyway thanks for reading. If you didnt like it, then i dont care.
and now i kinda looked it over and fixed a few things, including my missing page breaks...
Just a quick note: top A/N's have been moved to the bottom due to request.
