Disclaimer: I don't own YYH
A/N: Been a while since I've done a serious YYH. Kinda proud of this one. Takes place at the DT before the finals of Kuwabara vs Elder Toguro. Enjoy!
Smoke Signals
X -x-x-x-x- X
All she wanted was to be alone.
Although that wasn't strictly the case. She wanted to be alone with a cigarette.
But irony is in everything so when she finally got the chance to be alone, she was indeed alone but with an unconscious fire demon laying on the table. So alone but not really. She sighed and lit her addiction anyway and slowly relished the release.
It was eerily silent in the room. Yusuke and Kazuma had taken a walk with the girls and Kurama was God knows where. She knew something was going to happen between her brother and that psycho, but she tried to not dwell on it.
She knew she couldn't stop him. She knew she couldn't save him. He had to do this for some reason inside him and she knew there was nothing she could do.
Dammit, the cigarette wasn't helping. She needed a distraction.
"Let it go..."
She turned to the location of the voice only to see Hiei laying there, still motionless though she knew it was him that spoke.
Well, this was a good enough distraction for now.
She strolled over to the table to get a better look and paused as her eyes swept his face.
This was hilarious.
She had never in her life felt such a cold vicious chill when he summoned that second dragon. To feel so helpless and defenseless, like stepping on a train track and hearing the whistle and then your foot gets stuck in the rail. You can't run, you're just trapped and awaiting your destruction as you watch it come closer and closer.
That's what it was like sitting in that stadium. She wouldn't dare run, especially when no one else was, but at the same time she couldn't. She had to see what was causing the feelings inside her.
She had seen the first one, but it was nothing compared to the second. It didn't look so different and yet it was. And after it ate him, she could feel him absorb the power, suck it dry and fuse it to his soul. She wondered why she was the only one to feel it. Why did she have to be so special? And when he appeared in the stadium after absorbing it, she felt like the storm was gone.
Like she fell in between the tracks and the train just rolled over her.
So to have sensed all of that, to feel all of that, it was hilarious to behold how he looked now.
How close had she ever been to him, really? She saw him fight Zeru and he was awful close when he was evading the fireballs, but that didn't really count.
There was the time he sat on the windowsill when they all played cards. She really paid him no mind then, but noticed how his body tensed whenever Yukina spoke. Nothing huge, just a tremor of movement and a blinking of the eyes.
"Yukina is Hiei's sister," was what the end of that tape said and it was nice to finally put a face to it. So different from the little girl and yet so similar.
Particularly now when he was asleep.
The only other time she had really been near him was when she poked at Kazuma for losing and he asked to hear more. He never once directly spoke to her but in that second it was like they shared a moment. Very small but still there. She saw his face lighten just a little in that moment but it was fleeting and back was the stern coldness he always put on.
She had only been near him maybe three times at most and she knew he always put it on.
So, now, to see him like this, it was indeed hilarious and yet sad.
Gone was the roughness, the anger, the torment, replaced with a sereneness she had never seen on any of the boys in this group. His eyes were no longer etched with annoyance or loneliness and gone was the frown his mouth always fit into. His brow was relaxed, no longer creased with hatred or disgust of himself making him appear younger - almost younger than any of them though she knew he was older by at least a few years.
He looked calm and finally at peace. Relaxed and no longer in pain.
What did she know of this person? Not much. But for there to be such a drastic difference between conscious and unconscious she could tell he was in a constant state of hatred. Of others and himself.
She knew plenty of people like him. People that shrouded themselves in a cloud of black so no one can ever truly see them. People that hid behind quick comments and sharp tongues only to ward off any hope of connecting. People that were cruel so no one would suspect they could be kind. People that were strong minded and weak hearted. People that were miserable always putting up smoke signals you can never find.
She blew out the last puff and watched as his face twitched ever so slightly. 'Probably hates the smell,' she thought humorously.
Other things she knew about him was he seemed to have some sort of honor code. Not an annoying one like her brother's or even a complicated one, though she figured he was probably very complicated. He was here fighting even though she could tell he hated it. He was here putting up with her dumbass bro even though she could tell he wanted to slaughter him.
"Hiei is an honorable person and would never do something so deceitful," Botan had said to that stupid ogre. Perhaps. What did she know, anyway?
"Let it go..." he said again as she put out the remains. "Let it go...you don't want...you don't...let it go..."
Her brow furrowed as she considered his words. She wanted to laugh at how simple it all was, how simple he was. "What makes you think she don't want?" she asked dryly and he twitched on the table regaining some of the expression his face usually held.
"Let...it go..."
Her eyes narrowed. "Why? Why do you want her to let it go? What are you afraid of? That someone might love you?" she chuckled morosely. "You're more human than you think, kid." She straightened her back and looked to the doorway to see Kurama standing there. "Hey. We were just having a pleasant conversation."
He smiled a little. "He does that a lot. Talks in his sleep I mean." She raised an eyebrow. "We share a room at the hotel."
She nodded. "Oh, okay. I was beginning to wonder if there was another secret this team was keeping."
And that sucked the air right out of the room.
Kurama looked momentarily put off but started for a nearby bench. "What secret are you referring to? There are a few."
She stifled a laugh. "I'll bet. Don't worry, they're safe with me. I won't tell my bro any of them since it seems you're all keeping them for whatever lame ass reasons."
Kurama took out a book. "It's not our place to tell him about Genkai."
"I love how you assume that I know."
He didn't bat an eyelash as he titled his head at her. "Don't you?"
She smirked. "And Yukina." She shrugged. "Whatever. Just promise me with that one, you'll try to get a picture at least."
He chuckled softly and nodded. "I shall try my best."
She sighed and looked back at Hiei. "See ya later, chatterbox."
As she passed Kurama she heard him flip some pages of his book and inhale to speak. "Your brother will be alright," he said as she walked out the door.
"Again..." she breathed out, "...I love how you assume that I'm worried."
~End
