In the eyes of the people I love
This is a Seth/Kate fic, with some later Richard/Santanico. It based on what if when she walked through the gate what if something else happened? Disclaimer I own nothing of Dusk till Dawn.
"Are you here for redemption? In whose eyes? Your God's?" Amaru mocked Kate as she stood at the mouth of the gate.
"No, in the eyes of the people I love" she said lovingly as she looked down at Scott and over at Seth. Her Seth, the man who had captured her heart so completely by now.
Seth looked at her with his deep brown eyes and sighed uncocking the pistol "You know what? She's right. We all had this comin'. Somehow, I knew they'd show up to collect… Time to pay up." He said nodding at her. She gave him a soft smile as they exchanged their mutual understanding of their love for each other. It was just a pity it was too late in the game for either of them to do anything about it. "Time to let go, partner" she said with the hint of tears forming in her eyes. She turned and walked through the gate and everything faded to black.
Her eyes blinked open what only felt like moments but could have been hours later. She had no idea where she was, everything was fuzzy, gradually blurring back into focus. Was this Xibalba? She felt the movement beneath her and the slight nausea in the pit of her stomach it became obvious she was in a vehicle of some kind, and it was too warm almost suffocating. Something about it felt oddly familiar, but not, all at once. She blinked a few more times clearing the last of the blur still trying to figure out where she was, looking out the window. It looked like… Mexico? No, but that made no sense. She looked down and saw that she was wearing jeans and a tank top splattered in dried blood. Nothing like the leather outfit she had been wearing only moments before. She pulled her fingers through her hair and was surprised to see it was her own brown-red colour and not the garish red she had gotten so used to seeing in the mirror. Her hand instinctively clasped her wrist, her once again soft smooth wrist, she checked the other one and it was the same. Where were the fresh cuts and the much older raised and jagged scars? She was beginning to panic now. What had happened to her? "You ok, princess?" Her eyes snapped over to his voice "Seth?". Her eyes met those dark brown eyes and she smiled, panic immediately receding as she blinked back hot tears, he was perfection to her tired eyes. She pulled herself together quickly, taking a breath and swallowed clearing her throat and asked "What's happening? Where are we?".
"We have been driving for about two hours now, we're safe, promise… Nightmare?" Seth asked with a soft smile. She nodded and looked down from his face and noticed he was wearing a grimy suit, had he been wearing a suit before? She hadn't been looking at his clothes when she last saw him, it had been at those eyes. What the fuck had happened to her? She looked around the car and gradually realized with a sinking feeling that she was in the car they had left the Titty Twister in together. Had she? No? She couldn't possibly have dreamed everything? Oh god… maybe she was dreaming now? She reached down and discretely pinched herself, nope nothing. Had something happened in the gate to send her back here, was that even possible? and if so why? Was she supposed to change it? Was this her chance at redemption? She almost scoffed at the idea that there could be redemption for her after all her misdeeds and all Amaru's misdeeds through her. Maybe she had died already and this was her heaven or maybe even her hell? On the road with Seth Gecko was one of her favourite memories of the last couple of years, god, maybe ever. Even then it had been laden with a sweet pain, the death of her father, the loss of Scott, then there had been Seth's pain too, losing Richard and then himself to heroin. This moment here though, had been before the heroin and all the half assed jobs they had pulled together, when she was grieving but she had still been hopeful. She sunk back into the seat and smiled over at him, might as well enjoy this moment even if this was just a figment of her dying imagination and nothing more. He smiled back at her and she decided that it was her heaven after all, she was going to ride this train until she finally died.
They pulled into a motel and Seth walked back to the car with room keys in his hand. She laughed when she saw the one bed sitting in the middle of the room and Seth's expression as he began trying to explain himself. Even this, had been a good, albeit awkward memory, now it was heaven. She shrugged "I don't care, I'm gonna shower ok". He nodded and she shuffled into the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and almost laughed at her reflection had she ever really been this young? She looked so different back then. It had only been a year, more probably, keeping track of time had been difficult with Amaru, but it might as well have been a decade or more for what it felt like. She felt old, painfully old. This body, her old body may be fresh but her soul was still tarnished from the things she had seen and done. She stripped and turned on the shower. The water's hot caress felt good against her skin, but she couldn't help but think that parts of her would never be warm again and as much as she loved Seth, he didn't know this Kate and he didn't love this Kate, not yet at least. He cared about the old Kate, could he care about this Kate too or would she be too cold for him now? Then again, she had never been anything but a child to him, except maybe in that last moment where she looked into those eyes and told him in her own way that she loved him. She knew he loved her too in that moment and it had given her the last push of strength she needed to walk through the gate. That was a long time from now. She wondered if he could ever love her like this, broken as she was.
She remembered to leave some hot water for him, some old habits die hard, and she got out and dried off. Looking around at her blood-stained clothes she clipped back on her bra and pulled on her panties again. She grabbed the rest of her clothes and walked out dumping them on the ground beside her side of the bed. At least it was the side that had always been hers when they had been together last. His had always insisted on being closest to the door, poised as her knight in tarnished armour. She looked up and he blinked in surprise back at her. "What?" she asked confused, then looked down at herself and laughed "Sorry, only things not covered in blood" she said with a shrug and sat down to towel dry her hair. "We will get something in the morning ok, you leave me any hot water?" he asked. "Of course," she said with a smile. He smiled back and headed into the shower. Yeah, she was going to let herself enjoy this as much as she could manage before it all slipped away.
She was lying back in the bed thinking about the last couple years when he strode out in his boxers and vest and unlike the last time she allowed herself to enjoy the view. She realized then just how intimate they had gotten with each other so quickly even the first time and all without ever having sex or even having shared a kiss. It was easily the most intimate she had ever been with anyone ever, even her own family in some ways. At least it had been one thing Amaru had never considered taking away from her, her virginity. Although in some ways it might have been easier to bear than making her feel all those innocent souls slip through her hands. Still though, part of her had always wanted it to be him, not that it seemed likely anymore. For all she knew she was dead already and this was her brain catching up. She smiled at him and he smiled back. He put his clothes from the day on a chair beside the bed and turned to her "I can sleep on the floor" he said with a guilty look. She laughed "Get in Seth, I told you I didn't care. You know actually I do care, get in the damn bed Seth" she said and turned to turn off the light on her side table. He chuckled softly but didn't reply, seconds later she felt his weight settle in the bed behind her, leaving a careful distance between them. It was a distance that hurt but she understood why he left it there and she also knew it wouldn't last long, not once their nightmares started.
She soon drifted off to sleep and woke hours later with a scream tearing from her throat, the last image seared into her skull from the nightmare was her draining the life out of some innocent nobody. Tears streamed down her face and her heart pounded hard against her chest as she struggled to suck in shallow gasps. Then she felt his arm wrap itself around her and she was home again, she could breathe. She pushed herself as close to him as she could manage and softly sobbed herself back to sleep as he clutched her tightly. She gratefully didn't wake again until the morning, Seth had always been her dreamcatcher. It was one of the few things that was still true even when he had been using. She smiled the next morning happy to still have his arm wrapped around her when she woke. It was the arm with his tattoo that covered his scars and she had traced them so many times in those three months together that she felt she could probably draw them by heart. She wanted to trace them right now just to touch him but she wasn't sure at what point that had become a thing they had done together. She didn't want to ruin things before they had even started, she was enjoying all of it too much.
She felt him stir behind her a little while later and she knew he would move his arm but him holding her liked this had maybe been her second favorite memory of him. Actually, maybe this one was her favorite. "Kate?" he asked groggily, pulling his arm away "What time is it?". She almost groaned at the loss of contact "No idea, I'm only awake a couple minutes myself". "Oh… shit sorry I had you pinned". "It's fine, I hadn't even tried to move yet. Sorry about last night". She almost laughed at the idea of her moving, all she wanted to do right now was to face him and bury herself in his arms. "Anytime princess", she smiled over at him and he smiled back. That was more than enough, at least for now.
