Say it once, Tell me twice
Are you certain I'm alright
Just a sign to remind me
Tomorrows worth the fight
Ever changing
The story line that keeps me alive
"Hungry…"
The white-haired teen stumbled along the deserted port district of Hong Kong, holding his loudly rumbling stomach that desperately screamed for food. What he'd give for a bowl of Chazuke now… ah. Or any kind of food, really, who was he to act picky?
He was the only pedestrian currently roaming the district, save for maybe a few street rats, huddled in the rubble of dirty back alleys. Who was he kidding, he was not different from any of them. Homeless, foodless and down on his luck. Since the Kaiju came and destroyed a huge areal of the port area in their latest attack, this was quite a common sight: People who had lost their homes and lifestyle, reduced to mere beasts attempting to survive.
"Cha-…zuke."
It was merely the thought of the heavenly smelling and hot dish of tea on rice that kept him going. If he only had the chance to taste this wonder for one last time…
The teen stopped dead in his tracks. He was standing in front of what could only have been a supermarket before. Now it looked like the rest of the street, nearly reduced to rubble. Still… if there was even the slightest chance of some leftover food, he should take it. Or not. Wildly shaking his head, resembling a wet dog, the teen went on his way. Even if the place was deserted, he was no thief. If he was not able to pay for his own food, he'd be better off starving.
Little more than five steps after going his way his stomach rumbled again.
Okay… but only this once!
There was a good on and off chance that this place was already completely raided, the district was crowded with people just like him after all. But there also was the tiniest glimmer of hope that everyone steered clear of this place, since most people were reluctant enough not to come near Kaiju remnants. One of the giant monsters succumbed in this area, killed by one of the piloted defense forces, known as Jaegers. Raiders had carried away most of the remnants some time ago, not even leaving a piece of the rotting flesh left behind, but the blue blood still stained multiple streets and walls. An eerie sight.
Well, it was not like he was freaked out by Kaiju blood, for that he was sure.
Peeking into the remains of the supermarket, the teen made sure that nobody was in there already and that he could go onto a scavenging hunt all by himself. Deeming the ruin safe, he made his way into it, hunger suppressing his feelings of guilt. He only needed a little portion of food, then he was good to go for another few days. Maybe he could finally make his way out of the area… maybe go into the Chinese inlands where he was far away from the sea and therefore from Kaiju attacks. Yes, that sounded like a solid plan. This time he would succeed.
Just as he feared, the place was mostly raided, void of food that would rot within the next time. Hopefully the other scavengers had been dumb – or merciful – enough to have at least left some of the food or conserves that wouldn't deteriorate as fast behind and he would be able fill his belly with some food. He wasn't picky at all.
But no chance. Either everything left was indeed already rotten or just... gone. Even toiletries and infant cereals were already gone.
At least I'm not ending up as thief.
Sighing softly, the teen turned around to leave the supermarket and bury his unsuccessful career as small-time criminal, deeming himself as a failure like he did most of the time. Was it painful to starve to death? It couldn't be worse that getting eaten by a giant monster, right? At least those monsters got to eat humans… but humans can't possibly taste good. Right?!
Deeply in thought, he did not check his surroundings and promptly slipped over a bottle, falling flat onto his behind. Great, now he was bruised on top of starving to death. Rubbing his behind, the teen picked up the bottle, checking its label.
"Cantina di Santadi… what language is that even?" He swirled the red liquid in the bottle. "That's some kind of wine, right? Couldn't you be some kind of soup? Haah, I'm truly cursed."
He could barely read the text on the label, it sounded foreign, maybe European? There might be a chance of selling the bottle and getting some food out of the deal, so he might be a little lucky for once. On the downside this made him a thief after all, but the prospect of food preponderated this problem. He had a chance.
Smiling, the white-haired teen dusted himself off and made his way to the exit, bottle in his gloved hand, when he was stopped dead in his tracks.
"And where do you think you are going?" A male voice spoke, coming from right behind him. He hadn't even noticed anyone else entering the building!
Stopping with a look that resembled a deer in headlights, stomach filled with dread – hey, something else than hunger at last! – he turned around, fearing that he had to fight for his prize. He had never fought before, if someone was there to steal his wine, he had no chance. And would possibly end up being beaten up or dead. That was life in the streets in a nutshell.
Drawing in a shaky breath, the teen lifted his head and stared at the newcomer; and was more than a little surprised. There facing him stood no street rat or scavenger, dirtied and calloused from the harsh conditions outside, but the strangest man he had possibly ever seen.
First, he was most likely the cleanest man he had encountered in a very long time: Spotless light trousers, unheard of in the nether regions of Hong Kong, long flowing – there was not wind how was it even flowing?! – trench coat and neat soft locks of brown hair. A dashing person indeed. Then there was the fact that the skin that was not covered by clothes was wrapped in bandages, which coated his arms and even his neck. He must have had some kind of bad accident or encountered the wrong kind of people. In the dim light of the supermarket he couldn't make out the man's exact eye color, but they were oh so dark and held an unrecognizable glint in them. And they were directed straight at him. Summerized, he was truly unsettling and the teen got a wild primal feeling of flight or fight. This had mostly to do with this person's smile, wide, inviting and utterly fake.
"I asked you a question," the man was apparently unfazed that he was standing in a pile of rubble that was horribly unsuited for a person of his status, being compared to a homeless scavenger. At least his coat wasn't flowing behind him in a display of godhood anymore.
Suddenly the man gasped. "Or are you deaf? Then I am truly sorry! The world is indeed a gruesome place! Such a young person like you, already shunned and broken beyond belief~"
Huh? Was that man ridiculing him? "You poor unfortunate soul-"
"I'm not deaf."
The man's attire of fake weeping about something like the destroyed youth or some other shit immediately stopped. "Oh. Great. Then you can answer my question." In a matter of seconds, he changed his entire attitude, being now more menacing… and reminding the teen of a predator. Goosebumps spread all over his arms. "What are you doing here?"
Dumbfounded, the teen just raised his arm with the bottle of wine in his hand. "Shopping I guess?"
Again, the man's demeanor changed in a matter of seconds. It was quite unsettling, scary even, this man was not to be trusted. "That's wine, isn't it?" Now he was… beaming? Never had the teen encountered a person as fluctuating and various as this man, even if he encountered him only minutes ago. There was a huge smile splitting the man's face in half, to which the younger responded with taking a step back.
"Exactly what I came here for! You won't believe what kind of hassle it is to get some decent alcohol nowadays. The base provides us with basically everything, save for alcohol of course, spoilsport scrooges... Don't they know that some people are addicted to this stuff?"
Uh oh. He was after his prize after all. Clutching the bottle tightly to his chest, the teen took another step back. He would not give away his chance of food, even if he'd get beaten up by this lunatic! Sensing the teen's distrust, the man raised his arms in return, presenting his palms to show that he meant no harm. Despite the bandages wrapping around his wrists, his hands were immaculate, no callouses. Of course.
"Calm down, kiddo. I'm after your wine, oh yes. But I'll compensate you plenty for it."
Compensate? Compensate meant money, money meant food and food meant… Chazuke! At the minimalistic chance of receiving Chazuke in return of his price, the teen immediately held out the bottle to the strange man, distrust obviously forgotten. The other only laughed in return, a clear and soft laugh - even that was perfect - and waved. "Calm down, I'll keep my word. But first, let's get out of here, it reeks of Kaiju and that's a smell I'd not like to get too close to anymore."
Trotting behind the strange man who took on a naturally leading role, as if he'd never done anything else in his life, the teen followed into the thankfully brighter street of the port district. He ignored the small voice in the back of his head, that this was not a smart move at all when you live on the streets; stunts like this was what get you killed here. Did he want to die? Because that's what a potential serial killer would do to him. And there was still a fair chance that the man he was following so blindly was exactly this.
"What's your name anyway, kiddo?" The man was stretching himself and dusted his arms and his coat off of nonexistent dust, baring his back to the teen. Not a clever move in this kind of district. Still, the younger did not pounce to attack. He was not even cut out to be a thief, how could he possibly be a murderer? Even if his opposite might be one…
"It's Atsushi. And I'm not a kid," he replied, hoping that the other would give his name without further ado.
"Hah, could've fooled me for a second. 'Course you are still a child. I'm Dazai by the way. Dazai Osamu." He turned around with a little bow; Atsushi got a feeling that he was quite a flamboyant character. Dazai, huh? Hadn't he heard that name before somewhere?
Closing the distance between them, Dazai came nearer, hand expectantly held out, surely after the bottle of wine. Why would he even think that the other would shake his dirty hand?
"So, Atsushi." He quite liked the way Dazai said his name, thankful that someone with a Japanese dialect was pronouncing it after all this time. "About the wine, I- What the-!" Dazai stopped dead in his tracks, hand outstretched, smile wiped clean of his face and eyes wide opened in obvious shock. Atsushi was sure that very few people got to see that look on Dazai's face in their lifetime.
"Your eyes!" Dazai hurriedly tried to mask his face of surprise and shock, only needing seconds to become neutral and blank once more.
Ah.
Of course.
His eyes.
You see, the thing with Atsushi's eyes, was their curious color. Their natural amber color – which was rare on its own, especially in his home country Japan – bled over into a purple hue, which filled half of both of his eyes. This, along with his white hair, deemed him as strange, an outcast, a freak, which shunned him of social interactions most of his life. He was used to it now, but there was a time when he was younger, a mere child, when this hurt him, made him hate himself more than he already did and what distinguished him from everyone else.
Today, it did not hurt him anymore and he was prepared for whatever Dazai would throw at his head. Every taunt, every humiliation-
"They are gorgeous."
Huh?!
That was new.
He had met Dazai only minutes prior to this, but if he had to guess, he would say the other looked sincere.
The carefully put on neutral façade was replaced by a small smile. "Atsushi, they are special. You, you are special! And I think you are exactly what I searched for this whole time. I can't believe my luck~" The small smile grew in size.
Wait, what? Special? That's the first time anyone has ever called him that. Special…
Dazai, now beaming, went on: "You are perfect. I can't wait to show you to the others."
Slowly breaking out of his trance – someone called him special! – Atsushi only now realized that Dazai had taken his wrist and pulled him along, away from his destined sleeping place at a nice cardboard box that he had eyed the other day. His wrist tingled where it made contact with Dazai's skin, Atsushi couldn't help but wonder when had been the last time that someone human had touched him, it had been too long. Even his inner voice screaming about this being a total serial killer move faded at the prospect of experiencing bodily contact after such a long time.
"Dazai-san? What are you doing?"
Bewildered, the other turned around, not stopping in his tracks. "Huh? I'm taking you to our base of course. There's no way I'd give you up now. You might help us at having a chance!"
Atsushi was still completely unsure what the other was talking about. He still might be a serial killer and out for his blood. That happens to unfortunate, orphaned boys, right? He should not trust this person, not at all.
"You'll get plenty of food at the base. Is there anything you'd like? Save for alcohol we basically have everything."
This guy might be a killer and out for poor virgins' blood but still… food.
"Chazuke!" Was the only thing that Atsushi was able to blurt out despite his internal struggle of going with a might-be killer or eating a meal. Seemed like the meal won this round, since he let himself be dragged along with the stranger. What kind of base anyway?
Dazai did not stop once in his tracks. "Chazuke? Okay, I bet we can manage that one." He smiled. It was a nice smile, not fake this time.
"Oh Atsushi, by the way, you'll still give me the bottle of wine, like it or not. Some Cantina di Santadi is better than nothing. Here I was, trying to kill myself and ended up with not one but two prices! Lucky me~"
Atsushi nodded along with Dazai's speech, sure he would give up the alcohol and-
Kill himself?!
Kaiju. Colossal alien monsters emerging from an inter-dimensional portal called "The Breach" at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Initially emerging in the year 2003 and attacking the country of Japan, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. With most Kaiju resembling some kind of mixture of reptile or crustacean along with some unsettling vaguely humanoid features, they are a terrific sight and one that will forever burn itself into the minds of those people unfortunate enough to encounter them. For the first few attacks they emerged at random, ravaging larger cities and taking the population by surprise but as time passed they emerged more often, first every other month, then every other week. As defense organizations learned more about the new threat of humanity, Kaiju were soon categorized in categories ranking from one to three – a three being basically a death sentence for any city they set their eyes on.
As of today they had nearly obliterate the whole of Japan as well as Alaska, concentrating their ongoing attacks on the rest of the American west coast, Australia and the Chinese border as well as Hong Kong. Destroying. Burning down. Killing. What was left were thousands of deaths and millions of refugees searching for shelter in either crowded cities far away from the coast or the ruins of formerly proud metropoles.
Kaiju were terrifying. True monsters.
To combat the monsters, humanity globally united to create the Jaeger program, developing gigantic humanoid mechas equipped to fight the Kaiju one on one. Each Jaeger was controlled by at least two pilots, whose minds were joined via a neural bridge, a mental link due to a process called "drifting" to share the mental and physical stress of piloting a Jaeger. The Jaeger program was as of now the only thing standing its ground against the attacking Kaiju, with multiple technicians working nonstop to develop the perfect built and exterior for the Jaegers to survive a Kaiju attack and to provide them with the weaponry able to cut through the gigantic beasts. The multiple Jaegers combined were successful enough to drive the Kaiju back for the most part, delaying their attacks on the coasts and keeping the general public to the greatest possible extent safe.
Jaeger pilots were heroes.
Still, their numbers were dwindling harshly, with numerous more Kaiju emerging in ever shorter periods of time. The American Jaeger program shut down after two of their last Jaegers were destroyed, the pilots killed, and their general focus shifted towards rather built walls and keep the public as far away from the coasts as possible. The only strongholds to currently hold the Kaiju off were Australia and the Jaeger program main base in Hong Kong, led by the Armed Defenses Agency, short ADA. A gigantic base dedicated to constructing Jaegers and training possible pilots to be heroes: The Shatterdome.
Exactly this holy and prosperous place was where Dazai decided to lead Atsushi to, still holding his wrist and pulling him along like a disobedient puppy. The way he looked like now might more resemble a starving stray dog though, Atsushi mused. What exactly was he supposed to do at the Shatterdome? Dazai might have called him special but he still had no reason to be here, at one of humanities last strongholds.
"Dazai-san?" The other only hummed in recognition, not turning around to Atsushi once, as he led him through guarded security posts and metal corridors. No one disturbed Dazai, no questions of identity nor demands.
"Where are you taking me?"
"The Shatterdome. Obviously, stupid."
Well, of course. He could see that himself, he wasn't that dumb. A slight snicker coming from Dazai made Atsushi realize that the other was teasing him.
"We're gonna visit the higher-ups. If I think you're this special, they'll surely be very interested in you," Dazai said. "Oh, do you still have the wine? That's very important!"
Important? Oh, he did not know that. Atsushi clutched the bottle tightly. Wait- higher-ups?
He was just about to ask what was so important about him that the leaders of Hong Kong's defense station could be interested in, when a loud angry yell of "DAZAI!" interrupted him. Dazai himself did not slow down despite this, his pace even got faster. The yelling was coming nearer though and soon reached them in the person of a blond angry man. He wore the crisp attire of an officer, fine rimmed glasses on his nose, long hair bound into a ponytail – a picture of prim and proper. Atsushi had never felt dirtier in his life.
The man abruptly stopped Dazai's fleeing attempt, which was surely what his fast walking was about, by clutching his collar, nearly throwing him and therefore Atsushi down due to Dazai's momentum.
"Dazai!" His yelling was really loud when one stood next to him. "Where have you been all this time? You can't just run off when you have work!"
Dazai only laughed at that and Atsushi had a strong feeling this had not been the first time that the older man had fled from his responsibilities.
"Ah Kunikida-kun~ But I was working." Kunikida blinked. Atsushi also blinked. Was raiding a supermarket some kind of work? The wine seemed important to Dazai, so maybe it was a special job?
"You see, after I tried to drown myself at the port – unfortunately unsuccessful as you may see – I came across some rundown shops that I decided to investigate. And there," Dazai put his arm around Atsushi, face unfortunately close to his own, "I met Atsushi. This here is Atsushi, Kunikida-kun. Say hi!"
Judging from Kunikida's still very pissed off look, Atsushi could conclude that he would not say hi to him but rather continue his angry tirade at Dazai. "Great, you found another kid. Seems to be a habit of yours. But running away to the port? And trying to kill yourself again? God, if I wouldn't know that you would like that I would strangle you and kill you right this instance!" He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. Atsushi could tell that he was trying to calm himself down.
Ha… Dazai sure was a… strange person. Quite a character. Maybe Atsushi should just say goodbye and get the hell out of here.
"Oh Kunikida-kun," now Dazai was purring, help! "Unfortunately, you are no suicidal female beauty. So I'll have to decline your offer. You're not my type anyway~" The brunette suddenly put both of his hands on Atsushi's shoulders and pushed him right to the fuming Kunikida. "But please do look at Atsushi."
With a sigh Kunikida did just that and leaned down to scrutinize Atsushi. "His eyes," Dazai spurred.
It only took a moment for Kunikida to recoil after looking at Atsushi's eyes. Of course, he'd recoil. Dazai was the only one not to be disgusted.
Kunikida spluttered for a moment, proper stance and speech momentary forgotten. "Kaiju…" He murmured, too low for Atsushi to understand. "Dazai, where do you always find those strays of yours? It can't be coincidental anymore." As if shocked about his own manners he then suddenly addressed Atsushi, holding out his hand. "I am truly sorry for my rude behavior. I am Kunikida Doppo, commanding officer direct subordinate to General Director Fukuzawa and responsible for the Jaeger Pilot training regimen. Your name is Atsushi?"
Slightly overwhelmed by so many military terms, the teen was only able to nod, hesitantly taking and shaking Kunikida's hand. "Yes. Nice to meet you Kunikida-san."
Kunikida nodded likewise and turned to Dazai again. "Atsushi is well mannered, for once you found someone pleasant. I guess the Director will be very pleased to meet Atsushi as well. We should go and talk to him immediately; your fosterling came into the picture at a very convenient time."
The officer turned into the corridor he just came from, motioning to Atsushi to follow him. The teen could only shrug and follow Kunikida, things were becoming stranger and stranger. Maybe he should ask what was exactly so special about his eyes, that the General Director himself would be interested. He was just an orphaned stray, why would any of these people sacrifice their time for him? Still, this was most likely the first time that people were interested in him, thinking that he had some kind of importance and was not a waste of space, better to be thrown away. Or terrified of him, that was even worse if he had to admit. Atsushi couldn't help but feel his heart warming to those people, even though he just met them and did not know their intentions.
It was most likely the first time in ages – and Atsushi did not even realize it at this moment – that he smiled.
"Oi, Dazai you damn slacker! You are also coming along!"
Despite Dazai's reluctance ("Why do I have to talk to the Director? You are my higher up, it's your job." "Yeah and this is you mess! Not only Atsushi but your other stray currently wreaks havoc. Again.") the three of them found themselves in front of a great metal door shortly afterwards. Dazai nudged Atsushi in the side. "It's metal so that you don't hear them yelling and arguing inside." Kunikida pressed a few panels and the door started moving. "Don't believe him, it's not. He is an incorrigible liar."
What greeted them inside the spacious office was indeed… yelling. Dazai gave Kunikida a I told you so look and went into the room, smiling brightly. The officer only sighed, patting Atsushi on the shoulder and tugging him along. "Here we go."
The source of most of the yelling in the room was a young man who was currently in a heated argument with basically everyone in the room. It was already a long day and Atsushi had to deal with a character like Dazai, so no appearance could top that. The young man still ranked as a solid second place though. He had short black hair with longer bangs on the front, died white. He wore what Atsushi could only assume were training clothes, consisting of a tight shirt and fitting trousers though he contradicted that with a long flowing black coat. What is it with those people and flowing coats? He could have been not much older than Atsushi.
Facing him and enduring his yelling about something Atsushi did not catch, were two bored older men, not inclined to hear any more shouts and visibly glad to have some sort of distraction in the form of the newcomers. The man with black hair combed back and matching black clothing smirked smugly at Dazai.
"Ah Dazai-kun, good to see you back. And still alive at that!" Effectively cutting the younger man's yelling off, who looked bewildered first at the man and then at Dazai. "Akutagawa here was just talking about why he is so discontent. You know, Akutagawa, your charge, your problem?" Dazai only smirked in retaliation himself, clearly used to this spiel. "Of course, thank you for taking over, Mori-san. I'll come back to this problem later on. We have more important matters to discuss!"
Oh. So this man was Mori Ougai-san. One of the two General Directors in charge of the Shatterdome. Then this other person… Atsushi turned towards other man and nearly yelped in shock as he met a cold scrutinizing gaze, directed at himself. Of course, the traditional yukata attire, shown proudly to represent the expunged country of Japan, was a dead giveaway that this was Fukuzawa Yukichi-san. Even street rats like Atsushi had heard of the legendary general who fought to save Japan till the end, functioning as a last stand.
This legend, this hero, was currently examining Atsushi, scowl on his face, clearly unhappy of what he saw. I'm sorry, I'd love to be someone better suited, too. Still, with some kind of courage he did not know that he possessed, Atsushi held this gaze for the longest time, withstanding the urge to avert his eyes. Moments before he had to break eye contact because the pressure was growing too strong, Dazai decided to chip in:
"Director, Mori-san, this here is Atsushi. I found him in the port district and I think that he will be a splendid addition to our Jaeger program."
There were two loud yells of "Huh?!" in the room, representing the shared shock of two young men. One of them was Atsushi, naturally startled by this statement. Him? A Jaeger pilot? Had Dazai hit his head somewhere? He lived on the streets, was malnourished and had never proper education nor fighting training in his whole life. Him becoming a pilot? One of the most well-respected persons in the country? Who constantly fought against those monsters, bravely risking their lives? Atsushi was anything but brave. He was not noble or intelligent. He had no brawn, no brain. Those Jaeger trainees trained their entire lives for the chance of getting chosen and piloting a Jaeger; Atsushi instead got even thrown out of his orphanage, beaten and bullied, and centered most of his life around finding food, shelter and getting away from Kaijus. Facing them head on? Outrageous. He did not even realize that he forgot to breath due to his racing thoughts. His head was swimming.
The other yell came from the other young men in the room – Akutagawa – and it was his shout that pulled Atsushi out of his racing thoughts and ever-growing panic. "Dazai-san! What are you saying? This… thing? Piloting a Jaeger?!" He had to interrupt himself when a coughing fit stopped him from more yelling. The piercing glare directed at Atsushi was not averted though.
Thing? Now that sounded closer to the taunting Atsushi knew.
"Akutagawa!" Who was yelling now? Kunikida? Somehow, Atsushi felt far away, head empty but so full at the same time. Facing Kaiju. He couldn't think.
The other spun around. "What?! It's true! We others train our asses off and gain nothing out of it. Dazai-san brings along this… this trash and he instantly gets the recognition? That's not fair!" He was truly enraged and would not stop despite struggling to breathe properly.
Except this was when Dazai interrupted him, voice cold and void of the myriad of emotions he expressed since he found Atsushi. "Life is not fair, kid. Get over it." An equally cold look was directed at Akutagawa.
This shut Akutagawa up. With a look at Atsushi that was full of hatred, anger and… was that sorrow? - no, impossible – he turned around and rapidly left the room. He did not look at Dazai when he uttered "So this is your new partner? Congratulations, you finally got what you wanted so badly." Then he was gone.
Fukuzawa used this moment to sigh and speak up for the first time. "I'm sorry you had to see this, Atsushi-kun. Our pilots have quite the temper, but I'm afraid we need them." So Akutagawa was an actual Jaeger pilot? Wow. Despite getting utterly insulted just moments before, Atsushi couldn't help but admire the other.
"Anyway, the reason you are here." Ah, of course!
Guessing what he had to do, he turned towards the two Generals and presented his eyes. Just like Dazai and Kunikida before, they both looked surprised, although the surprise quickly changed to glee on Mori's face. "Oh ho, this is an exquisite view. I haven't seen eyes this mesmerizing since-" He threw a glance at Dazai and decided not to finish the sentence.
Fukuzawa hummed in agreement. "Atsushi-kun. You did come into contact with a Kaiju once, right?" The teen froze. No. They were interested in him because of this? Please, no. He'd rather run back to the street and starve than talk about this. "Atsushi." Dazai nudged him. "I know it must be hard, but please, tell us."
Taking a deep breath, Atsushi averted his eyes. "Y-yes." He would not remember it vividly now and would only give them the barest explanation, this had to work. "When they attacked Yokohoma. I- I was a child then." Don't remember them, don't think about the monster, don't- "A Jaeger killed it. And when it died… it fell. I was injured, couldn't move fast enough and… it, it kinda fell on me, it splattered around me-" NO! He had to hold his head and gasped in pain, it was too much, too intense. A hand gently touched his shoulder. "It's okay." Kunikida.
Fukuzawa nodded. "We can imagine what happened."
They could? How?
"Kaiju Blue. You got into contact with its blood," Mori explained. "You got infected with Kaiju cells, Atsushi. It happened before." It did?! Who else was unfortunate enough-
"The dead giveaway is the spectral bleed. It shows in the eyes where the cells are taking over. It's a wonder you're still alive, normally Kaiju Blue either burns your skin away or in case you breathe it in, it corrodes your respiratory system and if you're unlucky enough to still be alive, your lungs. A terrible death." His eyes where indeed cursed. He was part Kaiju. A monster.
"But!" And that was Dazai, patting his other shoulder. "With Kaiju cells contaminated people can feel what Kaiju feel and get their instincts. They are also highly drift compatible and able to build an incredible neural bridge. They are terrific Jaeger pilots!"
They are? This was the first time Atsushi heard about this. Nevertheless, it was also the first time he heard that there were other people in this kind of predicament. How where they coping with… this? He had not told the Generals about the other side effect of getting infected with Kaiju cells and he would definitely not tell them. This would get him thrown out onto the street faster than the miraculous way he got picked up just shortly before.
"-and that's why I figured that Atsushi-kun would be perfectly suited." Ah, he had completely zoned out. What did Dazai-san say? Suited?
No one seemed to enlighten him, everyone looked deep in thought, pondering over what Dazai just said. After a tense silence, Fukuzawa nodded, coming to a conclusion.
"It's worth a try. After all, your strays have proven to be quite capable in the piloting field, Dazai. We should test him. Mori?" He turned to his counterpart. "Would you agree?"
"We are in dire need of new pilots anyway," Mori affirmed Fukuzawa's decision. "Whose partner is he supposed to be anyway? Dazai-kun, do you think you'll manage this time?"
Piloting with Dazai-san? Wow, that sounded incredible! While Dazai seemed like a lunatic and his talk about suicide was very strange, the man appeared to be highly competent and Atsushi was positive that he would understand the other better once they shared a mental link-
"Me? Ahahah, of course not. We wouldn't want to repeat the disaster we had last time, right? No one's gonna understand my complicated and highbrow thoughts anyway." Dazai, still widely smiling, patted Atsushi's back, highly confident with his plan. "I was thinking about partnering him with Akutagawa-kun. This way we're hitting two birds with one stone~"
Huh?
The following silence was nearly deafening. Apparently, everyone had their thoughts on the matter but they were too reluctant to share them. Or they just imagined the disaster and chaos this plan would bring.
Akutagawa… Atsushi had met the man for how long? Not even five minutes and he already knew that this would not work. Not at all. Akutagawa just met him and he already hated him for crying out loud! There was not even a reason for his hatred towards Atsushi, right? At least none that the teen could think of.
His own perception of Akutagawa… was basically non-existent. They hadn't had a single conversation, how was he supposed to share his deepest mental thoughts with the other and create a bond? Atsushi already could see his short-living chance of becoming a Jaeger pilot crumbling right in front of him. Well, that was too bad.
While Atsushi silently pondered over his future and inwardly already planned for his return to the streets, Kunikida was not as reserved about his thoughts on the young Jaeger pilot and openly showed his disdain with Dazai's decision.
"Dazai, usually I trust your instincts, risky as they may seem, but this? This will not work out. First, you know Akutagawa's tracking record with possible drifting partners, it is abysmal. The only person he was drift compatible with was you, Dazai. And you know how that worked out. Second, Atsushi is completely new to this. Don't you think he would be better suited with a younger trainee or at least someone who is… how to phrase it? Not this overbearing? Third," he had to draw a long breath for the rest of his argumentation. "As you have seen, Akutagawa hates him! This isn't going to work at all."
To Kunikida's shock, Dazai only smiled sweetly at him while still patting enthusiastically Atsushi's back. "Oh Kunikida-kun," he berated him in a tone a mother would use to belittle her child. "But you know, my plans always work out! Have I ever been wrong?"
"Uh yes? Like the time when you tried to drift with Akutagawa or when you destroyed everything you had with-"
Fukuzawa decided to interrupt Kunikida at this point, it seemed like he and Mori had come to a conclusion. "Dazai," he addressed the brunette. "Are you sure about this?" Dazai only nodded enthusiastically. "Then we are going to trust you with this. Under the condition that you take responsibility for this. Not only for Atsushi-kun, but also for Akutagawa-kun and this team. You are to train them and to teach them how to create a working neural bridge so that their drifting will succeed."
"Naturally you'll have to convince Akutagawa first," Mori smirked. "But he'll be surely pleased that his teacher will take care of him once more."
So… it was settled. Of course, no one asked how Atsushi felt about this development. He guessed that this was alright. What could Akutagawa do? Kill him? Haha, no he wouldn't, right? Suddenly he felt sick. Ah that was surely because he hadn't eaten for quite a while.
As if on cue his stomach rumbled. Atsushi flushed, could have this been more embarrassing? Every person in the room turned around and stared at the now startled teen, blinking.
Dazai was the first to react. "Argh, I'm sorry Atsushi-kun~ I promised you food, didn't I? Just wait one more moment outside of the room, there is one more thing I'd like to discuss with the Generals. I'll show you the cafeteria and your room afterwards. You wanted Chazuke, right?" Then he remembered something else and snatched the bottle of wine that Atsushi was still keeping out of his hands. "I'll also take this~ we had a deal after all." The teen did not even react or register the act.
My room? I get my own room? As if in a daze, Atsushi left the room, not able to register any of the persons who so kindly had taken him in. Only when he left the office he realized it was because his vision was blurred by tears that threatened to fall. Bewildered, Atsushi rubbed at his eyes, still unbelieving of what just happened and how utter strangers had shown the kindness to take some orphaned, homeless street rat in and give him food, a home and a purpose. Things no one had ever bothered to endow him with, neither his family nor the orphanage. It was the first time in his life that someone treated Atsushi like a person, like he was worth something. He couldn't help but sob a little bit.
"I hope they threw you out," a cold voice spoke behind him.
Confused, Atsushi turned around, still trying to rub away the now freefalling tears. There stood Akutagawa, smiling coldly. Cruelly. "Aw, did they make you cry?"
What was his problem? "No," Atsushi tried to sound braver than he felt. "I'm crying because I'm happy. They took me in."
Akutagawa's smirk vanished instantly and was replaced with utter confusion. Was it because they took him in? Or because the other did not know that you could cry out of joy? Instantly Atsushi wanted to slap himself. Who was he to judge the other? He did not even know him!
Trying to conciliatory approaching his new partner – partner, what a strange term for Atsushi – he held out his hand. "I'm going to be your new partner, Akutagawa-san. Ah, I'm Atsushi by the way, I hope we'll get along." He'd try. He'd make the best out of this and create a bond with the other man. They had to work together in the future and function as partners, why not try to be his friend, too?
Apparently, he did wrong again. Akutagawa's face contorted in rage and he violently slapped away Atsushi's still outstretched hand. "What? You, my partner?! Is this their final act of humiliating me? I was supposed to partner with Dazai-san, not you… you monster!"
Monster.
That stung worse than Atsushi imagined. Of course, it wasn't the first time he was insulted this way, nor will it be the last. But hearing this from his supposedly partner, the person he'd have to share his innermost thoughts with, wound him deep inside. Again, he felt the tears welling up, only this time not out of joy.
"Now you're crying again?" Please, Akutagawa stop. "Have you ever taken a look in the mirror? Look at your eyes! That's not normal, you are a freak!" Now this felt like a slap in the face. Did the other think Atsushi did not know this already? He was thinking that he was a freak or worse for the last 13 years! That was nothing new.
"You-" The other was so outraged that he was shaken by an anew coughing fit that wrecked his frame. Despite just getting utterly insulted and still on the verge of crying, Atsushi rushed to the other and tried to steady his body. Akutagawa was surprisingly light under his flowing coat. Upon realizing that Atsushi was trying to steady him and therefore touching him, Akutagawa lashed out, forcefully pushing Atsushi away and throwing him to the ground with surprisingly much force. Atsushi couldn't even react when the other was instantly on top of his body, shaking him violently despite desperately trying to breathe in air.
"Why is it you?!" Akutagawa shouted, putting his hands around the Atsushi's throat. "Why is he taking you in? Why is he parading you around?!" Thankfully for Atsushi, the other had no energy left to go through with his strangling attempt, which agitated Akutagawa even further. Now wheezing, he let out a near scream of frustration. Atsushi was still too startled or too kindhearted to counterattack. Like always, he'd just let it happen and hope that it would be over soon.
That was the picture the two of them made when the door opened and a scandalized Kunikida and a laughing Dazai found them. Immediately Kunikida was on top of Akutagawa and pulled him off of the desperate Atsushi. Both were unable to speak, Atsushi too shocked while his supposedly 'partner' pulled out an inhalator and tried to catch his breath.
"Well, this turned out well," Dazai mused, despite everything that happened, broadly smiling. "You'll make a splendid pair~"
Atsushi was not so sure of it. He looked at Akutagawa, trying to calm down and thinking about where he did go wrong. It was the same as always. Getting insulted and shunned; but he did never get beat up before, everyone steered clear of him because of his eyes. His eyes. He was truly a beast.
Of course, this couldn't work out. They'd never be able to build a neural bridge and drift together, never mind piloting a Jaeger! Atsushi sighed, averting his eyes.
Who would ever bond with a monster after all?
Notes:
Um, okay... so that's the first chapter! It's kind of messy and I didn't think that writing a multiple chapter fic would be that hard. Mind the tags, very Slow Burn it is. Shin Soukoku are even dumber than Soukoku... there will be plot though... eventually. 'Diamond Eyes' is a song by Shinedown, respectively the chapter titles will be taken from Shinedown songs as well (in this case 'Miracle'). Currently I have written the majority of this story - starting in late 2016 I HAD quite a bit of time I guess.
Chapter updates will be roughly every two weeks. This way I might keep up a proper upload schedule x.x Come say hi to me on Tumblr (carlynagisa) or Insta (carly_nagisa), I'd love talking to you!
Otherwise... comments are love, there's a good chance you'll make me cry out of joy~
