Its true I am crazy. I think this is like the 4th or 5th rewrite. Sorry if anyone is sick of this. Again I am really trying to make it better. So it would be really lovely if anyone else would give me some feed back. Thanks!
I don't own bleach or its characters.
Concentrating...
Tiny ice crystals start to drift out of the small shinigami's lips with each exhalation. Each breath released, intensifies in coldness. There is a gentle streaming winter wind that is flowing from her body with a sparkling shine as the sun from the kitchen windows catches each of these icy flakes.
In order to get to this place, she must release. Release her thoughts of the Seirieti, the ancient buildings and clothing worn here as well as the inhabitants. She must release the computers and technologies that rival the modern world. There must be a letting go of this place she loves as well as the release of her love of the modern world. She must even strip her mind of her most awesome friends, her sister, and her brother. These worlds are amazing and terrible all at the same time. She must free her mind of the idea of the bridge which connects these places too.
Right now, she must embrace the magic, her inner kido, the one without spells just yet. She must merge with the blankness which becomes coldness, and just feel without expectation. And then, it's over.
Standing there, looking down at her dough, "Well crap that didn't last long," Rukia's voice breaks the silence of the room, although no one is there to hear it.
Sode no Shirayuki had requested Rukia to start meditating without her, without going to their inner world. Rukia needed to branch out in different ways, if she wanted to become more powerful. So, she took Shirayuki's advice, and this is what happened. The only problem is she has been doing it for six long months, and well, her breath as fabulous as it is, isn't very powerful yet. The best she can do is keep the pastry dough chilled quite well.
Previously when she had been at Ichigo's spending time and patrolling, she had taken up baking with Yuzu, who was, by the way, a wonderful cook. Yuzu was showing her how to make the dough for an apricot tart, and had informed her that although the ingredients are quite simple, one must keep them cold in order to have a crust which is delicate, crisp, and buttery every time. Apparently, this was no easy task. Enter "The Ice Breath". In the kitchen of the manor, she now rolled out her own dough made of ice water, butter, salt, and sugar. She employed her breathing technique, which would assure the most delectable crust. Lately, she has been baking up a storm to impress the gentlemen in her life.
The first time she brought Renji pastries, she thought he was going to have an orgasm.
"OOOOhhh….RRRuukkkia….OOOhhh….," spilled from his lips, as he closed his eyes while devouring the little tart. It was so over the top Byakuya slid open his door to inquire what the fuss was about, as it almost sounded indecent.
With a cocked eyebrow and an irritated look "Renji!" he said sternly.
"Oops, sorry, Taicho, I got carried away, but have you had any of these, and who knew Rukia could bake?" Renji explained, as he stood very upright and at attention with a ridiculous grin on his face for his formidable captain who had now entered the room.
Byakuya walks over, takes one tart, then a bite, looks at Rukia, without expression of course, and says to her, "Don't you have any work to do at your division, or are free to do whatever you want whenever you want?" And with that, he is already with his back to her, sliding his door shut.
She is just standing there, looking at the closed screen, and begins to say almost whispering, "Sometimes, he really does have a stick up his…,"being cut off. "Goodbye Rukia" he says loudly, but calmly from the other room.
Renji puts his hands up, just give me a scrunched face, and tells me he will see me later.
That memory brings her back to today. It was her day off, and her turn to arrange their "family night" as she called it. She was cooking dinner and dessert for them this evening. She was making sakuranbo tarts since it is summer, and they are in season. There would be rice balls with umeboshi and sesame seeds. She was also excited about making a pickled cucumber salad and spicy pork. It's all rather easy, nothing complicated, but hopefully it will all be delicious. At least, she hopes Byakuya will think so.
Since the war, so many things have happened between them. Initially, one of the most shocking things happened after the war. When all had been settled, he had summoned her to his study. She remembers him requesting they spend more time together. 'Time together?' she thought to herself, as he paced in front of her, and then finally stopping to look at her as she loudly gasped at this comment.
"Is that so strange?" he said in a most quiet and serious voice as he restrained himself from giving her the glare.
"Well no, ummmm well yes," she replied nervously looking at the floor avoiding his piercing grey eyes. She continued on in a frankness that was almost shocking to him explaining how it seemed out of his character to make such a request. She wasn't complaining, because of course, she would most certainly love to know Nii sama better, and even be his friend if that were possible. It was just surprising for him to be so forward about things, to take a real interest their somewhat limited relationship.
Yes, the mood between them had been less intense since the execution, but THIS request was just so unexpected overwhelming even. In her mind, she knew it would be nerve wracking trying to get to know him, wouldn't it? He is so perfect, handsome, and silent. It would definitely be intimidating.
What Rukia didn't know at that time was his own inner dialogue during that initial meeting about them getting to know each other. He withheld his smirk as he watched her verbally fumble through her thoughts. This was also not the first or would be the last time he noticed how beautiful she was. The lowered black lashes that almost seemed to be lying against the tops of her porcelain cheeks, the single strand of black hair that hid the furrow of her forehead, a hint of chalky collarbone as her shoulders were set back and straight as she held her hands behind her pushing the top portion of her shihakusho back ever so slightly, and the curve of her shoulder to her neck. These alabaster reveries of her skin were something he often tried to ignore. It was a hard task indeed especially when one is visually assaulted by Hisana's doppelganger for over fifty years now. It was difficult at times, but at the same time it was his secret pleasure. A small twisted part of him loved to watch her explain herself respectfully and awkwardly specifically when she was being honest and forthright. She looked so flustered the way she lowered her face and stared intensely at the floor all the while trying to avoid facial expressions. This also reminded him of some other violet eyes that made his heart ache, and then later other parts of him as well. If he had been Renji making this seemingly absurd request there would surely be name calling and head slapping involved. He liked it that she knew her place in relationship to him. Thankfully, things between them had moved slowly at least at that point.
Back to now. How could Rukia forget those initial family nights? They were quite awkward at first. The person who was in charge of "family night" would usually field questions from the other person about their activity because this would ensure at worst minimal conversation. Then there would be silence until someone had the nerve to say something once again. It was almost the end of summer, and now they had done many activities together since then. There were lunches at the sixth squad, dinners out, calligraphy(shodo), gardening, going over their family history together, trips to the living world, and they even went to a spring festival together. It was her idea of course. During the festival, he had even made a joke which wasn't a joke, but they both ended up laughing. Who knew Kuchiki Byakuya could laugh so dazzlingly. It was after that, the air between them seemed so light and unrestricted. That is when "things" started happening.
These" happenings" have been going on for almost two seasons now. First, there was what seemed like staring at the beginning of their breakfasts. These past months she had been particularly tired in the mornings due to some late evenings spent with Renji. Catching those stormy grey eyes on her so early in the morning could be a little disconcerting. Originally, she thought it was her imagination, but then she would space out on purpose and catch him doing it on the sly. She thought maybe he was displeased about her late nights with Renji because she couldn't exactly read what was going on in those eyes. However, they were comfortable enough for him to at least admonish her if she was not behaving noble enough. He didn't say anything so she didn't say anything, and then they would have their regular morning conversations after the ritual staring had concluded. Why stir the pot, right? What she really started to notice again was his handsomeness. She would try to inhibit her blushing when she noticed his gaze upon her. It started to feel like the attraction she had felt for him physically during the first couple of years living at the manor. She had received the cold shoulder which made her often wonder what his real intentions had been as she was told she looked like his first wife. She eventually learned to ignore his good looks as his personality kind of ruined them. Obviously much later he did tell her the real reasons of her adoption which opened a space of softness in her heart and even more respect for him. It was then she also knew there was no impropriety on his part, but perhaps has that changed?
Then there was the closeness that became closer that during calligraphy. At first he would stand next to her quite closely as they practiced their symbols. At first he would instruct her while side glancing at her work and then a full critique when done. Eventually he began standing behind her his gentle breathing caressing the back of her neck as he would tell her to relax and move her arm and hand with more fluid movements. Perhaps she was imagining it? No because when it happened enough times and when she began thinking about it she actually knocked over the bottle of ink. Really what was he thinking? How is a girl supposed to concentrate with Kuchiki Byakuya an imposingly handsome figure to her small frame literally breathing on her? That's when she started thinking about him in other ways. That's when she would imagine what his touch would be like, and thinking about what his large smooth or rough hands would feel like on certain parts of her body. She would wonder what it would be like to smell his hair, what his lips would taste like, and would he be gentle or rough between the sheets. They were maddening thoughts that could bring her to the brink especially when these thoughts occurred while being in bed.
The last incident which broke the whole damn thing down was the evening after the tart incident with Renji. She originally didn't bring any for Byakuya because he wasn't particular to sweets. That evening, she had arrived home late, missing dinner with Byakuya. She decided to take some tea and eat some of her own pastries out in the garden. It was a warm spring night, and she was just relaxing, savoring the taste of her tart and tea while resting her eyes when every hair on her body stood on edge.
" Your tart was delicious today Rukia," he whispered so lightly, his lips almost touching her ear, and his warm breath spreading across her neck and cheek.
"Niisama?" the only word that she could force out of her mouth as she opened her eyes looking up at him sleepily.
"Goodnight," The last word spoken as he disappeared into the garden, his figure fading into the darkness.
She could have sworn his eyes looked as dreamy as her body felt but there was no way to know now as he was gone so quickly.
Now there a need for these constant little surprises. Well, they are not really surprises anymore. In the mornings, she spaces out on purpose just to catch him looking at her. She actually looks forward to shodo now and his stern voice when she messes up on purpose so he bends in even closer if thats even possible at this point. She has actually become braver in her words with him. She often uses a slight teasing manner speaking to him when they are alone but rarely looking at him because she might die of embarrassment. This was her sister's husband. She wanted to feel bad or guilty about it, but somehow she didn't. This ache for him was slowly driving her crazy. Of course, these things never happened in public places or with people around, and no one ever mentions them either.
So what is going on? What is this strange relationship they have? At times it drives her to the comfort of Renji. Best friends with some benefits because she is not the only one sharing kisses with him, and well he is sharing much more with others. So don't go and feel sorry for him. All of these thoughts seemed to be rattling through her brain.
He finally looks at me now she thinks to herself while finishing up her cooking. She would also be a liar if she thought dinner was just about dinner. It was so much more than that, and she really was dying with anticipation.
On His Way To Dinner...
Byakuya wraps up his body from his bath in a light summer kimono as he watches the sun starting to retreat in the sky from his bathing room. His long black hair is almost dry due to this summer heat. He is beginning to develop some perspiration above his brow already as he gently dabs it with his towel, and then hangs it back up. The tiles of his bathroom floor feel cool on his feet as he wishes he could just lie down and rest there for awhile. Images of Rukia in the garden start passing through his mind. She is probably already waiting for him in the garden where they are having their evening meal tonight. As he leaves the bathroom and enters his bedroom, he smiles to himself. He imagines her in various stages of undress her white skin glowing attracting him like a lowly insect. He really needs to stop these impossible thoughts. He stands there trying to clear his mind so he can be off...because what excuse could there be for his tardiness? "Get some control Byakuya," he tells himself as one last image of her looking up at him through those dark lashes flashes through his mind's eyes. He tries to quell his smile but allows himself the pleasure of it as he thinks of what he would really to do her. Finally, clearing his mind he steps through the bedroom door into the hall and walks silently across polished wood floors towards the garden.
