One Simple Touch

One week after Regionals, Blaine and Kurt are sitting at a table in their favorite coffee shop and Blaine reaches over to take Kurt's hand. It feels really nice, but then Blaine's fingers start to wander a little higher under the sleeve of their Dalton uniform, Kurt feels Blaine's fingers at his pulse point and his foot at Kurt's ankle. He quickly stands up from the table, excusing himself to the bathroom. When he comes back, he keeps his arms under the table and tucks his legs under the chair.

It's Sunday afternoon. Kurt and Blaine are in Kurt's room, the brunet sitting at his writing desk leaning over his French papers while Blaine is trying to get the French Revolution in his head for the last ninety minutes. Without much success.

When Kurt finally drops his pen on his finished essay and turns around to see how much work Blaine has done he finds the boy slumped on the bed, asleep. Kurt expression softens and he knows he's smiling like an idiot, but really, they've been dating for a month now and it's still sometimes just so surreal to look at this adorable, gorgeous boy and know that he is able to just kiss him whenever he wants. To lie in bed after a study session like this and inhale Blaine's scent take has lingered in the covers and don't feel creepy or paranoid about it, like he had after the Rachel fiasco. To be complimented at least ten times a day. To be held while Blaine and he are watching some romance on television.

Kurt decides to not wake the boy for now, but he still climbs into bed, lying down close behind Blaine, not touching him, fearing to disturb Blaine.

When Blaine stirs a little while later, Kurt can't help but lean in, his chest pressing softly against Blaine's back. Blaine stretches and turns around, mumbling a quiet 'Morning…' before he puts his arms around Kurt, pulling him against his chest.

Kurt's breath hitches a little, because he is still not completely used to that kind of physical contact but when Blaine presses a gentle kiss to Kurt's forehead, the younger boy has to smile, because it just feels so good.

"I realize I shouldn't have made you study on my bed," Kurt comments, amused.

"I can't help it. Your bed is just so comfortable," when Blaine pulls even closer, Kurt gets a little frightened and without really thinkingscrambles up, blushing at the confused look Blaine is giving him.

"Sorry," Kurt says, "my arm was starting to fall asleep."

He is not sure if Blaine buys that excuse, but the older teen doesn't comment on it, so Kurt relaxes a little.

When Blaine leaves half an hour later he gives Kurt a goodbye kiss and Kurt smiles. As soon as the door to his house closes, Kurt's expression falters and he feels a little like crying..

Kurt knocks on the door of Blaine's room at Dalton and is pulled into the room with Blaine leaning against him, and as soon as the door closes, he is pressed against it, hot lips pressing against his mouth and neck. Kurt inhales sharply. One half of his body wants to squeak and run away, but the other half feels really intrigued by this and even kisses back, making Blaine moan. Kurt feels like he's set on fire, and his hands act on their own, wandering up Blaine's back, pressing down at times. Blaine bites down on Kurt's collarbone, lightly, making Kurt gasp into the room. It feels great when Blaine's hands hold his waist like that and when one is suddenly in his hair, pulling, it feels awesome and Kurt can't quite suppress the whine escaping his lips. The brunet drops his head to Blaine's shoulder, kissing along Blaine's neck, across his jaw… Blaine's hand on his hip suddenly drops even lower and squeezes and Kurt has to pull back because he can't go further, he doesn't know why but all of a sudden this is all too much and he is so not ready.

"Stop," he pants out and Blaine immediately stills, looking concerned at Kurt.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice rasping.

Kurt is not sure, really. He doesn't know what it is that brings up this barrier. He just knows that he needs to get some room and he can't continue this. "It's fine," he assures Blaine, even though he doesn't know if that's true. "We just need to get going if we don't wanna keep Wes and David waiting."

"Oh," Blaine looks a little confused, but pulls back after a moment. When they walk out the door, he doesn't take Kurt's hand like he usually does and Kurt feels very cold all of a sudden.

Kurt is not really sure how he has gotten himself into this. Okay, maybe he knows, but how could he deny those puppy eyes anything? It had been a week since The Lima Been had been closed for maintenance and when Blaine and he had found out that their daily trips to the coffee shop had to be canceled, Blaine had been devastated.

Therefore, Kurt had decided to bake something for his boyfriend to make him feel better. All though the recipe for almond biscotti he had found on the internet, proved to be much more complicated than it had seemed at first glance. So, when Blaine lets himself in Kurt's house, walking into the kitchen, he is greeted by the room covered in flour and Kurt, who was in the same condition and …was that an apron?

Before he could ask the boy what happened, though, Kurt ushers him out of the room.

"You're not supposed to look," is all he got out of his boyfriend, but Blaine was never one to give up easily. So he turns around, walks straight back in the kitchen moments later, grabs Kurt by the waist and catches him in a kiss that is a little sticky due to the dough all over his boyfriend's face. Kurt lets out an indignant shriek that sounds adorable in Blaine's ears and when Blaine's mouth wanders from Kurt's lips to his cheek, he feel the younger boy tense a little.

"Blaine," Kurt whines, trying to sound upset. "Stop distracting me…"

"Can't help it," Blaine answers, nibbling at Kurt's ear. "It's your fault if you look so cute…" he emphasizes the word with a kiss, "…and sweet…" nib, "…and delicious…" Kurt moans softly and Blaine's voice drops, "…and sexy…"

"You know, the last time I tried to be sexy, you said I looked like I had constipations," Kurt chuckles, even though he can't keep the insecurity out of his voice altogether. Blaine seems to notice, because he pulls back a little, looking Kurt straight in the eye.

"You are the sexiest person I know when you don't try to be." Kurt looks skeptical, so Blaine explains, "What? It's the truth. It's like when you're singing. I like it best when you don't think too much about it, like when you're humming to yourself while studying or when you sing along to the radio. You always sound great, but it's just that much better if you think no one's listening." Blaine leans forward, kissing Kurt's nose. Kurt, who is still not really convinced, if the raised eyebrow is any indication.

"Kurt, I really, really think you are sexy.", he kisses his nose again. "Really. You know how much I was turned on by that cheerleader performance Mercedes showed me on Youtube?" Kurt blushes at the 'turned on' and makes a mental note to either murder or thank his best friend, depending on how this talk continues. He fidgets a little, because really, thinking about turned on Blaine while being pressed so close to him is a little much.

Blaine notices the slight discomfort and runs a hand through the other boy's hair before he pulls away completely except for his hand, which he now intertwines with Kurt's. He can't really read the expression on Blaine's face or the sigh the older boy lets out as he turns around, but it disturbs him a little.

"Come with me," Blaine leads Kurt in the living room and they sit down on the couch, even though Kurt is pretty reluctant, first off because he is still pretty dirty from his attempt at baking and secondly, because Blaine's voice, even though it doesn't sound menacing, still indicates he's about to say something serious.

When they are both seated next to each other, Blaine turns around, looking up at Kurt with his eyes full of… is he nervous? Blaine fidgets with his free hand for a moment before it comes to rest on top of Kurt's, which is still held by Blaine's other hand. Kurt really wants to know what Blaine is so flustered about, but he won't push him, so he waits a tense expression on his face.

Blaine takes in a long breath and when he finally speaks, his voice is cautious.

"Kurt. I need to tell you something," the brunet is suddenly really still, because that sounds not good at all. The only words in Kurt's mind that moment are break up and he doesn't know how to handle that. Every time he pulled away from Blaine flits through his mind and he is so scared that the next sentence Blaine utters will break his heart that he has to fight his instincts to put his hands over his ears to block it out.

"I need to tell you something," Blaine says and Kurt's heart clenches. "We have always been honest with each other, so I need to tell you this," Oh god, please don't. Please, please, please, please..

"I have thoughts about you," Blaine says and blushes, looking away from Kurt, fixing a spot on the floor and Kurt just sits there, flabbergasted and totally at a loss for words because, whoa, really, where did that come from?

When Blaine doesn't continue after while, Kurt finally finds his voice.

"Is that bad…?", he asks, because honestly, Kurt thinks about Blaine all the time. He tries to make Blaine look at him again and the older teen eventually looks at him with uncertainty crossing his features.

"I mean. - I think about you. Sexually."

Oh. Kurt is not sure what reaction Blaine expects from him and tries to react as neutral as possible. He blushes furiously, anyway.

"Kurt… I know we are still in a very early stage here, so there is no way you need to feel pressured by this, but when I'm around you it's just really, really hard for me to control myself. You have no idea how much. And Kurt, I'm a really touchy person, so I understand this can be a bit much at times. But whenever you pull back from me, I feel awful. So please, can you tell me what it is that is making you so uncomfortable?"

Kurt sits there, a hundred thoughts running through his mind, but he can't really decide on what to answer. He slowly thinks he knows where this is coming from.

The last time Blaine had brought up sex, Kurt had been pretty awkward and almost thrown him out. So Blaine must have been really anxious to bring this up again, knowing Kurt's sensitivity over the subject.

"I'm making you uncomfortable," Blaine groans, and it sounds like he is more annoyed at himself than anything. "I knew I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry, Kurt." Blaine's fidgeting again. He's looking so lost and it takes everything Kurt has to not lean down and kiss the boy, but he knows this is important for Blaine, so he refrains. Blaine tries to pull his hands back, but Kurt holds on tightly and Blaine finally looks at him, so unsure that Kurt's stomach does a flip flop.

"Blaine, it's not the easiest subject to talk about for me, but I've known for a while that we needed to have that conversation sooner or later. I wasn't very subtle about it," Kurt feels Blaine hand relaxing and his whole body, even if not completely, seems to relax, too.

Kurt continues, "I think about you as well." He tries to make his voice as reassuring as possible, even though he can feel his pulse speed up at that confession.

Blaine looks surprised, but he quickly catches himself. Kurt still needs to chuckle.

"You didn't really think I never had any thoughts like that at all, did you? I told you that I tried to watch those mov-… porn, " he says, because he needs Blaine to understand that he has been getting a little more confident about this since their last talk, "I just can't really imagine doing it myself. What if I screw up? That's what I'm worried about. I'm just not ready yet, and I don't want to send you the wrong signals. So I pull back, before you take it the wrong way." Now it's Kurt's turn to blush and turn away, because really.

Blaine surprises him by letting out a relieved sigh.

"Thank god," he breathes. When Blaine sees Kurt's confused look, he quickly explains. "Kurt, you probably didn't intend it but do you know how freaking worried I was about all this? You shying away from physical contact just really scared me. Because I thought that you didn't want me close to you. I just coulnd't bear that thought. But really, Kurt, I think everyone is nervous when doing something they have never done before," he gives Kurt's hand a reassuring squeeze. "I just… you know, I want this to work and I want us to feel comfortable enough to speak about this without the awkwardness. I'm not- I want us to be on the same page before we go any further, but I don't know what is still okay with you and what you don't want to do just yet. … You don't have to answer this, but I want you to think about it, because the last thing I want you to feel is pressured. I can tell you how it is for me, if you want to."

Blaine looks at Kurt expectantly and Kurt nods mutely, because he doesn't know how to react otherwise. Blaine sits back a little and turns even further to Kurt, one leg now bend nearly completely on the couch.

"I like us kissing. I really like kissing you. I love our height difference and the way I have to look up to you. When we don't see each other on weekends because we have to study a lot, I get so excited, because I know when we see each other again on Monday we are going to exchange 'I miss you'-kisses and really Kurt, those. Are. Amazing. I'm not going to lie and tell you I have never wanted to go further with you, because you, being who you are, are making it really hard to keep thinking straight, but Kurt, you have to believe me when I say that I will wait for you to be ready for as long as it takes. Okay?"

Kurt is quiet for a while, taking in everything he has just heard. He feels really flattered but it's also a little intimidating. Blaine is looking at him with so much caring in his eyes that Kurt has to smile. He wants to show the older boy how much he appreciates what Blaine has just said, so he takes a deep breath and begins:

"I… I really like when we lie in bed together and I have my head on your chest while you thread your fingers through it … I love it when you hug me and keep your hands on my waist and breathe in my hair. Those little kisses you steal from me sometimes, when I'm concentrating on something else... I really love us being close, and I'm in no way as afraid of physical contact as I was a few months ago, but I still don't think that I can take that last step just yet… I want to, I really do, but there is always this wall that comes up whenever we get serious and I just can't and it makes me feel miserable, because it feels like I can't give you what you deserve and-"

Kurt feels Blaine shift beside him and a moment later he is wrapped into Blaine's arms and Blaine's fingers are running through his hair.

"Thank you," Blaine murmurs against Kurt's neck. "I know this was probably difficult for you." Kurt presses closer, sighing against Blaine's hair. "…and it's okay to not be ready yet, I think we both still need some time before we take that step... " It's silent in the room for a while and both boys are happy with just leaning against one another, gently caressing. When Blaine finally breaks the silence, his tone is curious.

"Soooo….what were you baking?"

Kurt chuckles at the change of subject. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

"You like it, though."

Kurt sighs contently, leaning in even further. "Yeah, I guess I do."