I decided to rejuvenate my thoughts by starting this story over because I didn't like how my story started to get me and you to where I want the story line to proceed.

Characters from this story were created by Stephenie Meyer, but the story is my creation.

Introduction to Final Decision

A Jasper and Bella Story

My mind was racing with thoughts of Bella; always Bella on my mind. "Bella, why do you insist on behaving in the manner you do? Why do you insist on forcing me to constantly remind you of your place on this earth? When are you going to realize your true potential and exercise the powers you have that no mortal, dead, living or living-dead can begin to comprehend? Why do you insist on engaging with those that are inferior to you? We are the fortunate ones; we have limitless powers of communication and influence that you should be using to take your rightful place next to me in this thing these "lesser beings" call society. You don't have to resort to violence or dependency on human blood or other animals to survive; you control all of them. I am beginning to believe I need to intervene and stop your wandering amongst these creatures that are not worthy of being at your, much less my, side; they are only worthy of serving our kind."

God I wish I could get these thoughts out of my head. Why doesn't she understand what I am to her and what I can be for her? Why doesn't she understand the woman of my pursuit is the one who has shown me feelings like sensitivity, commitment, anxiety, love, caring, tenderness, kindheartedness, compassion and drives those very emotions in me; emotions that we, the supposed superior race, are not supposed to heed or ascribe to or think of "as belonging?" I was raised to believe those emotions only cloud judgment and sensitivity to issues yet I find them invigorating. I find them worthy of pursuit and I am willing to wait until the end of time for her. She is truly the unfortunate one in that she won't allow herself to recognize what these "others" have to offer. I feel sorry for him because he will never let himself experience the true joy, tenderness and electricity that touching their bare skin can evokes; or the wave of emotion that floods ones soul when tender lips touch and tongues entwine; or the breathlessness one feels when trying to express the emotions that waft over and take control of one's heart and drills to the very essence of ones being. In light of, not in deference to, her constant insistence that these are wasted emotions, I am not ashamed that this woman, this savior of my soul, humbles ( as in not being worthy of her) me to want to "feel." Before her, I was lifeless, before her I had no direction, before her I had no empathy for others – she makes me want all of that and more. I love the feelings she has introduced me to because I quite frankly am tired of being empty and dead inside. And, when you consider I've been conditioned to believe it was not possible for these emotions to exist, between two such different species, I marvel in her power over me. I am not afraid of rendering myself to her; in fact I look forward to it. Do I think I can regain her trust? Do I think I am worthy of her? Do I think she thinks I am worthy of her? I can't address these questions because it is truly only she that holds the answers, not I. But, what I can say is that she, with her consummate spirit, is worthy of every ounce of my attention, devotion and love. There is a line in a movie (yes we can enjoy this form of entertainment) that goes something like this, "she completes me." Now, I take comfort in knowing that I have nothing to fear of her or her family but I refuse to exercise my subliminal control. They already know I am fallible in many a regard but I want to prove to them that I am infallible when it comes to all matters concerning her. I need to know, to hear from her, that she (even though cautiously), has faith enough in me to allow me to become apart of her life.

It is time for a final decision to be made to make her mine, to change her to live throughout eternity by my side. We all know that the man child does not have the balls to do so.