Left Behind Memories
Chapter 1: The Cycle Continues
I DO NOT OWN ATLA :)
Author's Note: This story does not follow the Avatar plot line and character relations as per the show. Some of the relationships are mutated. Yes, Sozin's comet will still happen. Yes, Aang will still be frozen in an iceberg. I would never change something that drastic. The main thing here is character relationships. You'll have to read to find out what changed.
Summary: After Avatar Roku's death, Meili, a woman of the Western Air Temple and her husband, Gyatso of the Southern Air Temple, go into labor. Beginning their journey to parenthood.
Water, Earth, Fire, Air... Monk Itashi once told me of he and Gyatso's crazy excursions around the globe with Avatar Roku. The Fire Nation Avatar whom was once best friends with Firelord Sozin. But everything changed when Firelord Sozin attempted to spread war and colonize the other nations. Only the Avatar stood in his way, yet not for long, for he would no longer be a problem to Firelord Sozin as he would die battling a volcano. The world was devastated by the death of their beloved Avatar. But as they mourned, they casted their sorrow away, and began their search for the next Avatar.
Screams of labor and love infiltrated the usually calm and stoic temple. Their vibrations echoing off of the hollow stone pillars, easily gliding down the empty breeze way, and casting over the rising sun, dawning upon the horizon.
It was the most solemn time of day at the Southern Air Temple. The most serious of times where sky bison didn't fly over head, lemurs didn't chatter, and children didn't play. The early morning meditation ritual was sacred, and had been a custom amongst the Air Nomads since the dawn of their existence. To the nomads, it was believed that mediating would help in starting a new day without tension and regret. That it could help wash away all your worries and emotions, and keep your chakras running swift and free, like a river gliding over various hills. Likewise, the nightly meditation ritual was referred to as the technique in getting rid of nightmares. They worked too, if performed correctly.
A gentle breeze flew into an open window of one of the many rooms in the Sister Abbey at the Southern Air Temple. Its cooling, comforting touch, though welcomed, did very little to comfort the woman who was currently delivering her child into the world, nor the older monk standing beside her, lending his hand as a cushion to grip on.
"You don't regret being her with me, do you?" Meili inquired as the last contraction ceased. Exhausted, she collapsed onto the mounds of pillows behind her. Her stormy gray eyes closed, with beads of sweat grazing the sides. Her skin was pale and her breathing deep. "You can go if you aren't comfortable, my love. I wouldn't hold it against you."
Ordinarily, men were not permitted in the birthing rooms at the Abbey. For one, they usually couldn't handle the stress and wring wrang of emotions that were disturbed throughout the room, for the Air Nomads were a peaceful culture, and anything but was an upset. It was also unsettling to see someone in that great amount of pain. Men had the tendency to make the situations worse than they really were. It was only with Gyatso's position on the council did he acquire such access to the birthing room in the Abbey.
Truthfully, seeing his beloved wife of thirty years in such intense and gruesome pain did sicken Gyatso. Meili was experiencing a great deal of pain. Pain he knew he would never dare to dream or experience. He was disgusted with himself. He had inflicted the worst pain imaginable onto the person he loved most, and there wasn't a thing he could do to relieve her from it.
Of course they both had known the consequences of their actions on that snowy night nine months earlier. They knew the precautions that needed to be taken, and took them in full. But even with their extensive measures in contraceptives with the exception of total abstinence, Meili still managed to get pregnant. It threw both nomads through a surprising loop, especially since they had both thought for a long while that Meili's child bearing years had long since passed. After all, Meili had just recently turned fifty years old and Gyatso sixty five. Children had never been a subject when it came to their marriage.
Their love for one another had begun some thirty years ago, when Gyatso had made a council trip to the Western Air Temple to convene with the sisters about the annual courtship ritual. It was approaching soon with the Winter Solstice only two months away. On that fateful day, new and true young love would begin to blossom, nothing could hold it back. And for this solstice it was Gyatso's regulation from the Abbott to oversee this year's celebration.
The solstice courtship ritual was of nerves, love, friendship, and precision. Everything had to go according to plan and traveling was no exception. If the young nomads did not make it to the opposite temple in which they were seeking love in the opposite sex by the solstice, hope would be lost in gathering blessings from the Air spirits which lurked on temple grounds on those two extraordinary days.
Since primarily the northern and southern temples were dominated by males, the eastern and western by females, it was decided long ago that on the solstice, one of the temples from each gender would travel to the other for the courtship ritual. Newly tattooed members from both sexes would receive the opportunity to court, marry, or impregnate a mate at this time. It was proven long ago to be successful, and population was always up by the next coming solstice, but not all marriages lasted.
Usually courting was prompted by the parents of the individual that wanted their son or daughter to fall in love much like they, themselves had. They did not want their child to make a stupid mistake which could cause their heart and spirit to be shattered. It was also proven the most effective technique for a long and happy marriage. In no circumstances, however, were the parents to arrange a marriage without their child's consent. It was prohibited amongst the Air Nomad culture. Spirits guide free from the body inhabiting them, fate eventually catches up with that spirit, and guides them to their destiny. A spirit not free was considered in peril.
If a couple chose to marry during the ritual, they could choose whether or not they wanted their partner to truly become a part of themselves through a process called "Spiritual Connection". The process could only take place, however, if the Air spirits approved of such matters. If they did not, then the ceremony was cancelled. Because of this, the Abbott usually observed and counseled the couple in order to make sure their love was true and unbiased. Despite "Spiritual Connection", many marriages did end in separation, but usually it was mutual decision.
It was not that the couple was not in love. That was rarely the case. In fact, some of the couples were so truly much in love that they needed to separate so they could find themselves - their spirit again. The husband and wife became so consumed into their partner that they felt like they had not even an identity any longer. Almost like they couldn't breathe the air that surrounded them.
Sometimes on the Solstice, two youngsters would even have a child together to try and prove their worth to one another, then give it away to the orphanage for a monk or sister to mentor and raise. To the world, it was absurd and reckless behavior, but to the Air Nomads, it was life. It was a way for one's spirit to not be burdened, and to still contribute to society.
It was amongst this archaic trip that Gyatso met Meili, a maternal nurturer at the abbey. She had been the one to guide him around the temple. She had given him the number of newly tattooed female masters and the number of rooms available. Over the course of his trip, Meili and Gyatso had bonded so well, that they became each other's best friend. Someone he could confide into. Their perspectives were the same, their principles, and philosophy on life in general. There was not a thing they had disagreed on. They fell fast for one another, and all too hard.
When Gyatso's departure came, Meili had begged him to stay another day. It was only when Gyatso had declined her tempting invitation, that Meili left him with a lustrous kiss as a parting gift and new grounds to return. That kiss was Gyatso's first, and was what made him revisit and search for Meili on the day of the Winter Solstice.
Later that week, they had been spiritually connected. A few days process in which the man's and woman's hands were tied together by wicker rope in order to prepare them for the ceremony that would link them together for eternity. Then, on the day of marriage the rope was replaced with orange silk, tied around the man's left wrist and the woman's right and placed over their hearts in order to bond their spirits eternally. It was a very sacred ceremony, one that many nomads chose to not take part in.
The couple had been together ever since, and forever in love. Shortly after their marriage, they had decided to remain at the Southern Air Temple, and to only mentor classes, never to raise any children of their own. Grant it for selfish reasons, but they wanted to be in love for as long as possible. They wanted their spirits to only be burdened by one other individual, not by two.
Unfortunately, their luck had not at all kept up with them. Following Avatar Roku's last, urgent visit to the temple about Sozin's extreme plans in forging war against the other nations, Meili had confided to Gyatso of their latest adventure; her pregnancy. At first, the old monk had been dismayed at the prospect and stand offish, not wanting to raise the child of his own and simply place him in the nursery at the abbey, which was a common occurrence amongst their people. But as the months went on, he found that the pregnancy had brought he and Meili closer together, despite the terrible rift of morning sickness she had endured. He discovered that he liked the idea of becoming a father, a chance his birth father did not receive.
Meili had suffered throughout her pregnancy. During the nine months, she continually experienced morning, afternoon, and night sickness. Her back always ached and her muscles constantly cramped. Her emotions would be from one drastic to the next by the time she finished a sentence, if not before then. If truth be told, the pregnancy had put her marriage on trial, considering most of her targets were at her husband for causing her to become in the state she was in. Pregnancy at the age of fifty was hard on the body, and Meili had not expected that at all. Afterwards, when her rage subsided, she would often breakdown in Gyatso's arms and confess an apology because she knew it was her fault just as much as it was his. It takes two people to make a baby. Both people are at fault. Meili of all people would have known that.
"I wouldn't rather be anyplace else in the world. The birth of our child is an important matter, Meili. Why wouldn't I be here?" He snickered as he smoothed the dark tendrils of her hair away from the shaven part where her arrow was tattooed.
She smacked his forearm half heartedly, "Don't talk to me like I don't know." She slurred, half drunk due to the concoction of white willow bark and boswellia, two strong pain killers, that the midwives had given her. "He doesn't like it and neither do I."
"You don't know that the child is a boy." Gyatso rebutted, "It could be a girl. I think I'd like it to be a girl."
"That'll be next time then, because this one, I tell you, is a boy." She hammered, huddling back into the birthing position preparing to push once again. He uttered a brief laugh, but fear and anxiety quickly over took the humor in what Meili had intended to say. Gyatso still sat in shock. Her words echoing in the back of his mind like iron beating on metal. Next time. Gyatso did not think he could do this again. Not with his already increasing age, and Meili's "over the hill" mark. They were much too old to begin raising one child as opposed to another.
"Next time?" He repeated, though his words fell upon deaf ears. Meili's ear curdling, heart wrenching, pain filled scream filled air as the next contraction seized her, ripping through her body. Now was not the time to be second guessing her words, but to be comforting her and encouraging her with his words.
"You're doing wonderful, Meili. You're almost there." Gyatso breathed out as she fell back against him.
"It's been eighteen hours, Gyatso... I'm so tired." She whispered bringing a cloth to her face to dry it. "I don't see it ending soon either. I can barely feel him coming down... I don't think I can do this anymore." Tears leaked from her eyes as a grunt of frustration escaped her normally quiet lips, capturing the attention of the two midwives in the room, who now bustled around in a frantic fashion in order to keep Meili alive and the baby healthy.
Gyatso positioned himself so he was staring exactly into her beautiful teary orbs. He couldn't bare seeing Meili so vulnerable. It was a strange color on her, one Gyatso didn't care for. It was not the Meili he knew and loved, for she was usually a strong willed individual. "You shouldn't speak that way, Meili. It isn't healthy." At this point, Gyatso was fighting back tears of his own.
"Why?! Because it's true!" While Meili was usually a calm individual who rarely blew her temper, she did have one, and when it showed everyone knew. "Gyatso, you and I both know that my body is too old. I'm too old, and so are you." She whispered through her tears, " I'm not as strong as I used to be."
He was becoming frustrated. It wasn't the fact that Meili of course had a temper, or the fact that she was extremely whiny. What bothered Gyatso the most was knowing that what his wife spoke of was one hundred percent true. Never the less, he couldn't allow her to wallow in her misery. For one, it was against Nomadic Code and two, he couldn't allow her to give up. He would fight for her, whether she was willing or not.
"You're right. It wasn't the most opportune time to have a baby, was it? You and I are both in no shape to be raising a child." He reached out to re-smooth the tendrils of her thick hair from her forehead. "We can be resentful of our age, or we can be grateful for having attained it." He smiled, "Not many people have the opportunity to fall in love and have a child with that person."
"I know, Gyatso. And I don't regret doing this with you, I really don't. It's just that..."
"You're tired and sore and in unbelievable pain. I understand, Meili, I really do. However, if you believe you are defeated, you'll believe it long enough, and it is likely to become a lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Gyatso fought to suppress a chuckle when she rolled her eyes at him. She could be such a child at times, but she brought out the best of him, and for that he was lucky. "I know you'll get through this. And it's not like you'll be alone. I'm here with you. We'll do this together, Meili. Just like it's always been."
Her strength and energy seem to improve after Gyatso's "pep talk". And after a calming glass of jasmine tea with a boost of ginseng, Meili was fired up again and gave all her might into bringing she and Gyatso's child into the world. Though she was right, and the end was not in sight, not for nine more excruciating hours, when the head midwife ordered Meili to give one final push, she began to cry tears of joy as she heard her son squeal and gasp for air.
Sister Wan, the head midwife, placed the gurgling baby boy into his waiting mother's arms. At first glance of his mother's tender expression, he immediately transformed into a peaceful demeanor, while his gray eyes locked onto hers.
"He's beautiful." Meili whispered as she kissed the baby's forehead, "Aang is beautiful." She smiled turning to Gyatso to gage his reaction. He was smiling as well, a few tears lining his eyes in the corners.
"Yes it is."
Gyatso held his new born son as the midwives moved to deliver the placenta and clean Meili up, he watched in awe as his wife finished what they had started, alone.
Aang was a beautiful child. He was sized proportionally with slender arms and legs, which would allow him to be more agile as he got older and progressed with his bending. His fingers and toes were nimble and sleek, an Air Nomad trait that was harbored throughout the years. His stormy gray eyes he inherited from his mother, along with his thick dark brown tuffs of hair that conformed in all directions a top of his head. His skin was pail like Gyatso's and soft like his mothers. In all, he looked like a good mix of them both, but his spirit a lone Gyatso knew was Meili's.
There was something eerily familiar in Aang's eyes. The instant connection father and son seemed to share bewildered Gyatso. Aang had not taken his gaze off of his father for a moment. He stared at him, drinking in his appearance and trying to memorize his form. The meeting seemed all too familiar to Gyatso. He couldn't quite tell what it was, but he swore that the way Aang looked at him seemed as if he were trying to recall a face from another life time.
"I think he's taken a liking to you all ready." Meili smirked tiredly, "And here you were worried of becoming a father. Look at you, you're a natural."
"Instincts I guess." He attempted to place the child in his mother's arms, but once he had moved to do so, Aang began to wail an ear piercing scream, almost comparable to the ones Meili was relinquishing only a mere twenty minutes earlier.
"I guess you've bonded with him all ready." Her finger grazed her son's cheek. "That's something more than you ever got a chance to do with your father, Gyatso. I'm thrilled you've decided to do this."
Gyatso reached down to kiss her forehead, "I wouldn't imagine to do this any other way."
As the hours spilled over and nightfall fell yet again, Meili and Gyatso finally were able to put their son to sleep. He was a wild, yet curious little thing. He had not truly fallen asleep since his birth, an aggravating trait for two very exhausted parents.
Gyatso, himself was about to settle down into the smooth cotton blankets along with his wife when an unexpected knock came from the other side of their door. He immediately knew the situation was important. Gyatso had given strict orders to the council to not disturb him that day unless it was an emergency. It was for that notion, that he made his way hastily to the door. On the opposite side was his lifelong friend, Monk Itashi, who recently became guardian to little Ani, of two years of age after his parents passed away a few months prior.
"I know it's late." Itashi scrambled as he made his way inside, "I know you've had a long day, but something horrible happened and I thought you should know sooner rather than later."
"My brother, what on Earth could be so horrible that it has shaken you to the core?" Gyatso questioned as he and Itashi took a seat at the table.
"It's Avatar Roku... there-there was a volcanic eruption on the island yesterday evening... and he went to battle the volcano and..."
"He was hurt during the battle?" Gyatso laughed half heartedly, "That doesn't surprise me. Roku has always been one for getting into difficult and tricky situations and not being able to find a way out of them."
"No, Gyatso... no, no... it gets much worse." Itashi swallowed and tried to remain composed, "The Firelord saw the ensuing battle from his palace in the Fire Nation, and well... he went to help, but when Roku fell... Sozin left him to die." Itashi broke, forgetting that he should not be allowing his emotions to come out in such a vibrant way.
Gyatso sat speechless, his eyes skimming over the letter Itashi had delivered from Ta Min's hand which confirmed his tale to be true. Tear stains covered the note, and Gyatso knew they were not only from him, but from Roku's wife, and Itashi as well. His lifelong friend since he was seven years old had passed away at the hand of the Firelord.
Gyatso wasn't at all surprised, he had expected something like this to happen for a long while. After all, he and Roku had recently shared a discussion about how demented Sozin had become over the course of his reign in the Fire Nation. A new regime was unfolding before the world, and Roku knew before long something drastic would happen, but he did not know it would happen to him.
Itashi soon left with his condolences and Gyatso was left at the table alone to grieve for his beloved friend. He sat there for a couple of hours before Meili awoke to care for Aang, then came to his aid. She too was taken aback by the news, but not at all truly astonished, for many of the same reasons.
"Life moves in a circle... we were born to die...and you know Roku... he wasn't afraid to die for his cause, Gyatso." Meili whispered, the table turning on the previous events earlier; she was now comforting him.
"It's just the manner in which he died. How can Sozin concede so much hate into the most honorable man in the world? And then to just watch him die? It's unfathomable!" Gyatso whispered loudly, careful not to wake their newborn son.
"We've known for a long time that the Fire Nation has different philosophies than we do. They treat executions as entertainment and animals as a mere source of food and clothing. They don't respect life like we do, Gyatso. Their customs are different than ours." Meili informed as she placed two cups of tea on the table.
"The man I looked up to and respected the most is now gone. He tutored me in the ways of the world, more so than any instructors here did. He taught me how to live. He was essentially a brother to me and now he's gone." He lamented.
Meili crooked a grin as an amusing thought occurred to her, "Wouldn't it be funny if he found you again?" Meili suggested in mocking tone, "The next Avatar is destined to be an Air Nomad, remember? You might not lose him after all."
Gyatso looked up from the table then, remembering the first moment he had shared with Aang earlier. It was strange how he and the child seemed to connect so well. Indifferent as to how the child stared at him as if he were trying to remember a face from another life time. Was it normal for a father and son to become attached so rapidly? Or could it be that Meili's casual assumption might not have all been so farfetched. Perhaps the next Avatar really just was within arm's reach.
Long chapter, huh? Yeah... sorry about that. Most of them won't be that long. The good news about this story, is that unlike most of my fics that I have miserably and shamefully not finished, this one is already complete, with the exception of some tweaking.
This fan fiction will be about twenty two chapters long... or that's the plan at least. I am flexible. If you have an idea or something you'd like to see, message me and I'll see what I can do.
My plan is to publish one chapter every Saturday. Depending on how you guys respond may change how often I post. For now though, every Saturday.
I have some credit from this story to give. Some of the quotes Gyatso says are actually quotes from some famous people. Some of them have been altered just a bit to fit the context of the story, but most are completely the same.
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Believe you are defeated, believe it long enough, and it is likely to become a fact."
-Norman Vincent Peale
"We can be resentful of our age, or we can be grateful for having attained it." William Arthur Ward
Please review guys! I need the love and criticism! :)
