Sometimes, you think he's dying. He's always been on the small side, but ever since you finished Sgrub, Karkat's been positively skeletal. The bags under his eyes won't fade, not even with twelve hours sleep. Some days, he's better. He acts grumpy, even angry, more like his old self. Then there are the days when he does nothing but sit and stare at his hivetop, like he thinks that if he waits long enough, all of your dead friends will come back online.

This is where you find him today, surrounded by empty energy drink bottles, knees pulled up to his chest, face half buried in them. You wonder if he's eaten at all today.

"KK?" you ask cautiously.

"Hey, Sollux." His voice is empty, all the energy sucked out of it.

"It'th almotht dawn, time to thleep."

"'k." he mumbles, but doesn't get up.

You sigh. "Come on."

You wrap one arm around his shoulders, the other curls under his knees. You pick him up, and it scares you, how light he is. He rests his head against your shoulder, eyes half closed, staring into space. You carry Karkat to your respiteblock and slide him into the recooperacoon. You climb in after him and wrap your arms around him when he leans into you.

"Sollux…" he begins.

"Yeth, KK?" you gently stroke his hair with one hand.

"I…I miss…"

"I know. I mith them too."

"I wish I h-had…" He buries his face in your chest.

"It'th okay."

His shoulders shake. His voice is slightly muffled, but you understand his words perfectly. "It's not okay! I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I should have died a long time ago. I don't deserve you, you should have left me to die-"

"It'th NOT your fault, KK!" you insist. "Thooth, thooth." You hold him tighter. His tears et your shirt. Eventually, he becomes heavy in your arms. You rest your head on his and fall asleep."

When you wake, Karkat is gone. You pull yourself out of the spoor and find him in your hygieneblock. He's shivering and shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. Transparent lines of red trace down his cheeks. You sit down next to him, but are afraid to touch him. He looks so small and fragile, like he could fall apart at any minute.

Instead, you ask, "Dreamth?"

He nods "Y-yeah."

"I know. I have them too."

"They-they're dead, Sollux. They're dead because I couldn't save them."

Hesitantly, you wrap an arm around his shoulders. He leans into your touch. "Thath'th not true, KK. You thaved me. You thaved Aradia and Kanaya."

"But not all of them. Not even close to all of them. I couldn't even save Gamzee from himself…" Sobs take control of his body.

You bite your lip. It's been over a sweep since you finished Sgrub, you had hoped that Karkat would get better, but your dead friends are haunting him.

You turn so your back is against the wall and he is facing you, and pull him into your lap. He slumps against your chest, still sobbing uncontrollably.

The pain on his face is searing, agony obvious in the tension in every tortured limb. Something, somewhere deep inside of him has broken, and you don't know how to fix him. So you just hold him.

"Do you th-think that they bl-blame me?" he sniffs, sobs finally subsiding.

"Nobody blameth, you. You did everything you could."

He wraps his trembling arms around your torso, holding on to you desperately, weak and vulnerable. "It wasn't enough. It was never enough. I'm so tired, Sollux. So, so tired. I wish I was dead, instead of them."

"KK..." your throat constricts, and yellow tears pool in your eyes.

"Sollux…"He looks up at you. His eyes, once a bright orange, are now dull and lifeless. "Don't leave me."

"I won't. Not ever." You speak into his hair. "I promithe."

He sighs, perhaps in relief. You hear him murmuring the names of your dead friends. Tavros, Equius, Nepeta, Eridan, Vriska, Feferi. His voice hitches around the names Terezi and Gamzee.

You plant a kiss on top of his head and rub his back. Slowly but steadily, his breath evens out and his eyes close.

Just when you thinks he's gone to sleep, he asks, "Sollux?"

"Yeth, KK?"

"I'm glad you're with me."

You don't reply, but hold onto Karkat a little tighter.