Disclaimer: No, nothing's mine.

A/N: So, this is my very first fanfiction I'm posting here. I'm no native speaker so I'm saying in advance I'm terribly sorry for all my mistakes in grammar and spelling. I'm trying my best and I hope you forgive me.

This is a Jisbon story, even though it'll take some time. Just read and you'll see what I mean.


It was quite a normal day; Abbott was guiding the briefing while she and the rest of his teams were sitting on their chairs. Everything seemed like always on the surface, but it wasn't. Lisbon was trying hard not to cry and it was getting harder with each minute that passed. She couldn't sit here any longer and pretend to be okay.

So she got up, hurriedly, and rushed out of the briefing. Of course that startled Abbott and everybody turned to look at her, but she didn't care. Not anymore. She could no longer hold her tears back and actually she didn't want to. Later she would try to explain it she already knew she would regret running out of a briefing like an upset child, but now the only thing she felt was the soft kicking in her belly. Maybe she wasn't acting like a child, maybe more like a pregnant hormonal woman. She searched for support on the cold FBI walls and stumbled that way to the ladies room.

As the door of the bathroom closed Lisbon ran a hand helplessly through her dark curly hair and groaned. Her legs were so wobbly all out of sudden that she leaned against the wall, trying to ignore the kicking in her belly. Thinking about the baby, her baby… that was something she couldn't handle. Her hands were constantly tempted by not touching her lower stomach because she knew she couldn't feel the warmth of her hands on her swollen belly. Then, her knees buckled and she let herself slid down the wall. It was unusual for Lisbon to do a thing like that, but even she was having weak moments like that. Later she would wrap herself together again and march out of the ladies room like nothing had happened, she would be the Lisbon everyone knew, but now, the only thing she felt were the movements of her tiny little baby.

"Oh god, oh dear god... please stop stepping. Please." A slight gasp escaped her lungs as she got another powerful kick. She'd never thought she'd end up like that.

Some tears made their way along her cheek down to her jawline. She sniffed and soon she could barely breathe anymore. While she was sitting on the floor, pregnant and without a partner she realized that she couldn't do this anymore, not on her own.

Where had the times gone? This was all so wrong.

Lisbon sat on the cold bathroom floor what felt like an eternity but then the door swung open and Kim Fischer, a colleague from her unit, who had also been at the briefing in the bullpen walked in with rapid steps. Fisher was a good woman, she had chestnut brown hair but all Lisbon could say about her was that she had had some problems with her in the beginning but that they were solved now and she started to see the real her. When Kim looked to the lower area in the room she saw Lisbon who was sitting in the corner, tears streaming down her face and slightly upraised hands. Her eyes became soft and she knelt down in front of Lisbon.

"I... I'm so sorry. I couldn't. I can't."

In that moment Fischer realized that Lisbon was having some real issues. They had never been so close that she'd dared to ask her about what had happened between her and Jane exactly, but one thing she knew for sure, it had become obvious since Jane wasn't there any longer. This was Jane's child as well as it was Lisbon's.

Her statement was a helpless cry. Lisbon was not trying to say that she was sorry about leaving the briefing in a rush. She was trying to vocal her despair.

She couldn't touch her belly for some reasons, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't stop trembling. It was the small things she was having problems with.

So all Fischer said was, "I know." She hadn't exactly planned to do this but as she was seeing Teresa Lisbon so upset all she could feel was her sympathy and pity for this woman.

When they had first met she'd been so strong, not happy, but… self-confident. Then something in her relationship with Jane had changed and she had blossomed. How she had come to this point after being so happy was something no one of the team did understand.

Kim sat down in the corner next to Teresa. She carefully wrapped her arms around her colleague's small figure. At first she felt her violently fighting back, Lisbon tried to pull away, but soon she gave up the hopeless struggle. She held still, she didn't move, she clung to Fischer's shoulder and was now even more shaking with sobs.

Patrick shouldn't have let her alone. He should've loved her and their unborn child, but he had been away on the 'morning after' and no one had seen him since then. What else Teresa should've thought except that he had used her? He knew she loved him. When she found out that she was pregnant a month later by him, she missed him even more and she still couldn't believe that he was gone.

At first she had played with the idea of abortion. She had no one. Her life consisted of working as an FBI agent for murder cases. She probably couldn't do it because of that. Kill her baby. So she had fought with morning sickness the first third of pregnancy stubbornly on her own. She had no talks about her unplanned pregnancy, but when it became obvious she had to tell the head of the department for murder investigation, Agent Abbott.

He had made her uncomfortable questions and she had often simply replied with 'To be honest, sir, I don't know.'

Supervising Agent Abbott had of course heard some rumors, but he had prefered to ask Agent Lisbon himself. Well, Lisbon hadn't said anything whether it was a planned or unplanned pregnancy but he knew for sure that this one wasn't planned. He could see in her eyes how hard it was for her to manage that by her own. After this interview, she was suspended in any case from the dangerous field.

Kim reached out and placed her right hand on Teresa's rounded belly. She felt the baby wriggle under her hand. It kicked and punched from the inside against her hand. Kim noticed that Teresa tried to push her hand away but instead of doing what Teresa wanted her to, she put her free left hand on Teresa's arm and pulled it next to her right hand.

Lisbon gasped. "No, I've never done that..."

Silence. She tried to pull her hand away, but Fisher's grip around her wrist was surprisingly strong.

"Kim, please... I cannot. Let go."

"Teresa, this is your baby and it needs you! It's not the baby's fault that Jane left, you know that don't you?"

"Of course I do, it's just, I can't see myself as a single mother."

Fisher didn't reply to that one.

They just sat on the floor of the ladiesrom for another while for a while. And their bodys closeness was soothing, Lisbon felt safe and secure. SOmething she hadn't felt in a long time. At first it was scary but with the time Teresa calmed down and lay her head on Kim's shoulder.

"What ywould you think of us becoming friends?"

Teresa's question was so unexpected that Kim looked up. Yes, what if? The two had always been well understood. Kim liked her. She was honest and fair.

"I think I would like that," Fisher replied softly.

"Would you?" Teresa smiled gently. She knew she would like it too.

Fisher nodded silently.

"Yeah I think I would, been a long time since I had a friend to talk to," Lisbon murmured.

She rubbed over Teresa's knuckles and said, "Me too, and I could help you during your pregnancy and if you want me to later with the baby. You know, succoring."

"That would be really nice. Thank you." She'd been very alone in these past few months.

And suddenly Teresa felt better.

"Should we.. uhm should we go back?"

On the way Kim said it, Teresa realized that it had also pleased her to talk quite honestly. Funnily. They just sat there for another while, Lisbon's hand covering her pregnant belly for the very first time.

"Yeah, I think so."

That's how it went, and it was okay. Actually more than that. For a little while it was fine.


A review would be really really nice.

-A x