AN: Apologies for the lack of updates lately. This story takes place during 3.3, right after Elena and Stefan's conversation.
Just like that, Stefan walked away from Elena, like he had all those months ago when he announced he was leaving Mystic Falls to protect her. He had told her repeatedly that it was for the best, that she'd be better off without him, and had gotten out of the car, prepared to walk away from her forever; yet that time he had turned around when she told him she loved him, had taken her into his arms and kissed her passionately. Both times he walked like it physically killed him to actually move away from her, both times his eyes were clouded with despair and regret. Only this time Elena didn't think her words would be enough to stop Stefan and make him turn around and go back to her.
So she ran. She couldn't really surprise him or attack him, not with his hearing and reflexes, but she got close enough to grab his arm and clutch it tightly, digging her nails in so he couldn't shake her off that easily.
"Elena," Stefan grumbled. "You're being stupid. Go home."
"Did you mean everything you said?" she demanded. "Do you honestly believe all that crap?"
"Yes," he hissed. His eyes told a different story.
"Really," she stated. "You don't care about me anymore. You don't love me anymore."
"I didn't say that," he protested.
"You might as well have," she told him. "Look, Stefan, I get it. You think that if I don't try to fight for you, that if I forget about you I'll be safe. You're trying to protect me-you always try to protect me."
Elena touched his chest lightly, tentatively at first, but grew bolder, resting her hand against his heart. "You've save me so many times. Stefan, you brought me back to life. Let me save you now."
She kissed his neck gently, slowly placing light kisses on his skin, working her way slowly to his lips.
"I... I wasn't lying before," Stefan said hoarsely, not moving. "It will take me years to get off of human blood, to become...me again."
Elena cast her eyes upwards to meet his, her hand snaking around to the back of his neck. "Then I'll be with you every step of the way."
She kissed him and after an agonizing moment he kissed her back, grabbing her face and kissing her like his life, like both their lives, depended on it. Their teeth clashed and their tongues locked together and they stopped only for Elena to catch her breath before pressing their lips together again, the kisses hungry and greedy and full of want, need, desire. Standing there behind the club, their bodies automatically pressed together, arms grasping each other tightly and attempting to access even more skin.
Elena's impressed with how Stefan managed to maneuver them to an alleyway that was a bit further away from the club, kissing her the entire time and tugging at her skirt. She'd have settled for just sinking to the ground behind the club, Klaus be damned. Although that would have been an interesting way of seeing him again-why the hell was she thinking about Klaus when Stefan was kissing her and stroking her thigh?
They slammed against a brick wall and Elena didn't give a damn about how it felt against her back. Stefan lifted her and Elena wrapped her legs around him, going for his jeans and unzipping them quickly, he was already pushing her underwear aside while her heels dug into his back.
This wasn't one of those times when their lovemaking was so tender and gentle that it made Elena cry; nor was it one of those playful sessions, teasing each other with kisses and caresses, making the other beg for more contact, to go deeper, press harder. No, this time was all fire and passion, not even removing clothing in their hurry to be together, grinding against each other, in each other, craving the moment of release when they can collapse against each other and then start all over again.
Stefan had a hand behind her head so it wouldn't hit the wall and Elena mewled in his ear, trying to be quiet but it wasn't that easy, not with Stefan thrusting faster and faster while his lips traveled her neck, dipping down and they were both incredibly grateful she'd worn something low-cut. Clawing at his shirt, she finally managed to touch the flesh she knew and loved so well.
It hit them at the same moment and Elena bit Stefan's neck to keep from screaming. Stefan wanted to do the same only he couldn't, didn't trust himself to bite her and not drain her, not hurt her or kill her or worse. Instead he clung to her and clutched her tightly, breathing in her scent and shuddering against her, trying to inhale as much of Elena as possible.
"I love you," Elena whispered in his ear. "I love you."
"I love you," he replied, reveling in the words he'd been unable to say or even think over the past months. "I love you, I love you."
They remain together, tangled and intertwined. Elena dug her fingers into his hair and grasped it tightly, traced the contours of his face while Stefan just gazed at her, memorizing every detail about her face, details he'd long ago stored away in his mind but he hadn't seen her in so long Stefan needed to see what changes had happened. There were deep circles under her eyes, knew he was the reason for them, and he hated himself for it. Over and over again he kissed her, his lips traveling all over her face, as if kissing her might start to atone for the past few months.
When Stefan slowly placed her back on the ground he got a serious look on his face and Elena knew she wouldn't like what he was about to say. She knew that particular look, completely serious, completely brooding, completely upset about what he was thinking.
"Lena," he spoke hoarsely, holding both her hands. "I have to go back to Klaus."
"No, Stefan-,"
"He'll kill Damon," he tried to keep his voice steady. "Klaus gave me the cure in exchange for me becoming his accomplice, his wingman. If I leave, Klaus will kill Damon, probably other people- Caroline, Bonnie. He'll go to Mystic Falls, he'll find that you're alive, he'll kill you. He already knows something went wrong with the sacrifice, he-,"
"Stefan-"
"I cannot lose you, I cannot see you die again," Stefan said, his voice heavy with unshed tears. "I cannot be responsible for Damon's death, not when I can save him."
Elena stood perfectly still, tears spilling down her face as she gripped his hands tightly. Why hadn't she considered how much Stefan loved Damon, the lengths he would go to in order to save his brother? Especially when she'd do the same for Jeremy in a heartbeat; hell, a couple of months ago she had done exactly the same thing, gone off with Klaus into the night in order to save her family and friends. An image of that horrific night suddenly came to mind of watching Stefan's face as Klaus drained her, locking eyes with him and trying to reassure him everything would be okay even as her vision faded. The horror on his face that still haunted her dreams.
"I don't like it," she said at last. "Isn't there another way?"
"There isn't." They were both crying now and Stefan's voice was shaking. "I'm trying to figure out how to kill Klaus-because I will kill him Elena, I will end this."
She hugged him as tightly as she could, burying her face in his chest. "I don't want-I can't lose you, Stefan, I can't."
"You won't," he whispered, stroking her hair, her back, holding her as close as possible. "No matter what, Elena, I love you."
"I love you."
They kissed again, frantically this time, knowing their time was ending. They kissed again and again, the kisses attempts to make up for lost time as well as to be put aside for the future, to be remembered as Stefan listlessly followed Klaus and Elena tried to fall asleep. Kisses for remembrance, kisses to remind each of their love.
"Not matter what happens," Stefan told her as they slowly emerged from the alleyway, "I will always love you, Lena."
Elena couldn't speak, couldn't get words past her throat. She wanted so much to tell him again how much she loved him, but she couldn't talk; instead she kissed him, trying to communicate her intent through the depth and passion of her kiss. Stefan understood perfectly.
When their lips drew apart Stefan pressed his forehead against hers and whispered, "Close your eyes."
He watched as she did so, tears continuing to pour heavily down her cheeks, kissed her one last time, and forced himself to walk away.
Elena opened her eyes and Stefan was gone.
AN: I have several other stories, some light, others dark, that hopefully I'll be able to put up relatively soon. Thank you so much for all your comments/alerts/etc- they really do mean a lot.
