AN: I was inspired to do this mainly by the amazing work created by kbrand5333 and her series of song-fics in 'Songs to Dance'. I own none of these songs; all I'm trying to do is relieve my boredom. I'm alternating between canon-based stories, modern AU's and I might chuck in a Dark!Arthur simply because I can. So enjoy; I hope.

Dear Diary

What am I doing?

He is dumb and a child

But then once in a while

He'll say something.

Dear Diary

We were just friends.

But somehow that all changed

My whole life rearranged

What is this feeling?

What is this feeling?

'Dear Diary'-The Parselmouths.

Gwen was usually everyone's confidant. The knights, Merlin, Arthur as well as other servants usually turned to her whenever they needed a friendly ear and a kind heart to sooth their troubled minds and offer solutions to their problems. Gwen listened to their problems and did the best she could to try and help them through it. However even the confidant needed a confidant. For Gwen, this was the book Morgana had once given her a lifetime ago.

Unlike the majority of people, Gwen could read and write; as children she and Elyan sat in on Leon's lessons whenever they accompanied their mother to her work of serving Leon's mother Lady Abigail and whenever she worked with Morgana, the ward always ensured that Gwen took part in her lessons. Indeed it was oftentimes the only way Morgana would learn. Morgana gave Gwen the empty book as a birthday present and it had taken Gwen a long time to even dare trace letters onto the crisp white pages and only began writing in it whenever Tom had been killed and Gwen needed somewhere and something to vent her sorrow, anger and regrets about her father without the fear of the words being used against her.

Nowadays her diary was the place where she wrote down everything from recounts of their various adventures to her private thoughts about her friends and her fears concerning Morgana and their futures now that everything between them had changed. It was also the only record of her conflicting and developing feelings for Arthur. The earliest entries were used by Gwen to reveal her private feelings concerning the arrogant prince who bullied Merlin and seemed to exist to annoy everyone before a few scribbled entries timed around whenever he had been bitten by the Questing Beast and revealed her fears that Arthur was about to die and her steady conviction that he would pull through. Over time the entries changed.

Their first kiss was recorded in an almost dream-like tone of voice; Gwen had still been unable to believe it had happened. Arthur had kissed her. Prince Arthur had kissed her!

The retelling of her kidnapping at the hands of Hengist's men revealed not only the conflict between her feelings for both Arthur and Lancelot during her imprisonment but also her anger at Lancelot for leaving them and her certainty that she and Arthur could never be.

The Vivian incident had been recorded on tear-stained paper as she vowed to never let anyone hurt her like that again.

Morgana's yearlong disappearance, which drew them closer together out of fear and worry for their beloved friend also featured scattered updates about their growing romance. These entries also allowed her to voice her private beliefs that Morgana was not all she appeared to be whenever she returned as well as the retelling of embarrassing incidents such as the Goblin's escape; the conflict presented whenever Elyan had been captured by Cenred as she and Elyan became pawns in his power game against the Pendragon's not to mention the dramatic recount of Uther's discovery of their relationship.

Yes Gwen's diary was her sole confidant and comfort. A place she could present the private inner working of her mind. It was her diary who first learnt that Gwen had fallen in love with Arthur. It comforted her broken heart and conflict between rational and love. It recorded every thought and emotion created by her and Arthur's relationship. Every how and why. Every where and when. Every who and what. Gwen's diary recorded it all. It contained information that nobody else knew. It contained her deepest secrets and fears and Gwen made sure to hide it somewhere that she was certain that nobody would find it.

"Where is it?" Gwen muttered as she rummaged under her bed through the small crate where she kept her clothes, fumbling for a smooth hard surface which didn't come into contact with her fingers. It was gone! Gwen pulled out the crate and emptied it but it wasn't there. She ran her broom underneath her bed but came up empty handed. As Gwen looked around the small house she called home; Elyan stood in the doorway grinning triumphantly.

"Looking for this?" Elyan asked, holding the book out tauntingly.

"Give it back Elyan." Gwen replied; silently praying that he hadn't read it.

"Come get it," Elyan offered but as Gwen walked towards him, Elyan turned and ran. Gwen gave chase until they reached the courtyard of the castle where Merlin and the other knights were sitting on the steps. Elyan pushed his way towards his friends and they childishly began playing Keep Away with the diary. Gwaine threw it to Merlin who missed the catch and the book landed on the steps just as Arthur was walking down them. Arthur picked up the open book and scanned the first page of writing before anyone could stop him.

Arthur always tells me that he loves me. How can he? I'm a servant. I-I honestly feel that I don't deserve him. What could I offer him that a beautiful noblewoman could not offer him ten-fold? He always talks about our future together. How we could someday marry, possibly have children and rule Camelot together as king and queen. But how can we be together when the whole world is against us? I shudder to think how Uther would react if he ever found out about us. Sometimes I think it would have been better if we'd never met but every time I have one of those thoughts; I think about Arthur. How it felt the first time he kissed me. I think about his courage and loyalty and how he and Merlin can always make me smile with their antics. I think about the arrogant child he was, the man he became and the wonderful king I know he'll someday be and I am reminded of just how much I really do love him.

Arthur snapped the book shut and walked to Gwen who was hanging her head with a hand pressed against her forehead as she now wished for the ground to open her up and swallow her whole. This had to be one of the most embarrassing things to have ever happened to her. Arthur pressed the diary into Gwen's hands before he took her face in his hands and kissed her for everyone to see. Just like he had after the battle and she returned to Camelot with the knights.

"I'm the one who doesn't deserve you." Arthur whispered as they broke apart. Gwen clutched her diary to her chest as she left the courtyard and that evening after listening to the men's apologises, Gwen wrote a few more lines in her diary before she hid it in a new location away from prying eyes once more.