A/N, boys and song arn't mine. Song is White Lies by Paolo Nutini. I love this song, it gives me goosebumps. Please make my day and review, and if you don't want to review this fic/tag then there are more in my profile that are begging to be reviewed.


White Lies

'Fucking Hell Sam! Drop it! For fucks sake! Just drop it!' Dean screamed, walking towards the door. They were in another no-name Motel, about a week after the demonic virus, and about a week since Dean had told Sam about what their father had told him about Sam. The week was full of awkward silences and avoiding the subject; until now.

'Where are you going Dean?' Sam demanded

'Out, I'll be back later'

'This isn't finished' Sam threatened

'Yeah whatever' was Dean's reply as he slammed the door. Sam sunk down on his bed and started to think about what he could say to Dean when he came back. Dean, however, ran across the parking lot to the Impala wanting to drive and to continue to drive and not come back so he could never have that conversation with Sam. When Dean got to the Impala he got behind the wheel, and realised that he had no where to go as this town (more a junction, with a couple of houses, a motel and a 7/11) as it had no bar.

He started up the Impala, switched the radio on and roared out of the car park. He wasn't really listening to the radio, but he did notice when a song came on it wasn't particularly fast but listening took his mind off what he had left in the Motel room until he heard the lyrics and then it all came crashing back.

There's a heart on the line
and it rests with your eyes
Please don't fade and please don't cry, coz it's all white lies
Take a chance and watch it fall, grab too much and lose it all
now I've lost my disguise, it was all white lies

He didn't mean to tell Sam, he just couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take the thought of his Sammy turning evil. The same Sammy who wants to see the good and innocence in people, which was why he didn't take the shot at the boy in Oregon last week, because Sammy didn't want to take the shot not knowing if he was infected.

He hid too much from Sam, and now he could lose it all, the trust Sam had in him but more importantly he could lose Sam. Now Sam knows what he kept from him and might leave Dean to protect him. Sam now knows how weak he his by not being able to keep it from him, he wasn't able to protect him, he just blurted it out. God! What was he thinking! He should have known how this would have affected Sam.

Stay here, lie with me, oh lo-fi, lonely sighs
I will roam lost but never alone, hide with me, hide

He wanted to stop hunting, it was getting to him. He was tired, tired of thinking that he might have to kill his baby brother- the man he raised. He wanted to run, hide from everything, Dad's death, Dad's secret, the deal his Dad made, Sammy possibly turning evil , Sam being angry with him… the list just went on. He just felt so lost, like this mess would never end, would never be sorted out. The only thing that offered a little comfort was that he had Sam by his side, even though Sam was the main reason for his worries.

Would it help if I tried, or has it sailed and passed me by
first love grows and then it dies, and it's all white lies

If he went back to the Motel what could he say? What could he do to make it right? Suddenly, Dean was heading back towards the Motel with a new resolve. He was going to sort this out with Sam. Sam would probably think Christmas had come early with Dean wanting to talk about his emotions, but he had to get Sam understand why he kept it from him.

stay here, lie with me, oh lo-fi, lonely sighs
I will roam lost but never alone, hide with me, hide

now you move with the tide, and I've heard you've found peace of mind
and now I know that life's design moves around white lies, white lies
white lies, white lies

He gets out of the Impala, slams the door and runs back to the room.

'I kept it from you for a good reason'

'What? This secret you kept was about me! I had a right to know' Sam replied

'I know you did, and I am sorry I kept it from you. I didn't do it because I thought you would turn evil, I kept it from you because I wanted to protect you Sam.'

'You said that before'

'I didn't want to tell you because I knew what this would do to you, and I am sorry that I blurted it out the way I did, I never meant to'

'It's okay Dean, I am glad I found out' Sam said

'I'm not, I am meant to protect you from things like this' Dean replied

'You did for months, but Dean you can't protect me from everything'

'Can we just leave it Sam, you aren't gonna turn evil, not if I have anything to do with it'

'But Dean, what if I do? What if I do go dark side?'

'Then we will just cross that bridge if we come to it, which we might not. I didn't mean to hurt you Sam, that was never my intention, it was a white lie, one that was meant to protect you.'

'I know you never meant to hurt me, but sometimes I don't need a protector, but a brother. A brother, who won't lie to me, even if it is of the best intentions and even if it is the whitest of lies. Not only did this hurt me, but look what it did to you! Look at the weight that it put on your shoulders. It was killing you Dean, and you need to stop taking on such a weight and let me help, as you brother.

Dean didn't say anything for a beat and then replied 'I will try Sam, but I am always gonna want to protect you, now can we get out of this Hallmark moment and order pizza and beer?'

Knowing that he couldn't push his brother any further than he already has tonight, Sam agreed to Dean's suggestion and he knew that if anyone was going to save him it was going be Dean.

Fin


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