Author's note: I do not own Gundam Wing or its characters. This is for the 30 Kisses challenge using list eta. This is set after episode nine and the liberation of the Sanc Kingdom. Theme 13: Filthy; Tainted


Eye of the Storm

Noin quietly slipped into the darkened room. The battle to free the Sanc Kingdom was over. Now she just had to deal with the aftermath. Between Otto and the rest of the demons in Zechs' past, it was going to be a long night. Locking the door behind her, she scanned the room for its other occupant. They were short on rooms for the troops, and she had told the billeting officer she would take care of herself. If worst came to worst, she'd sleep in her mobile suit.

"Zechs?"

She caught movement out of the corner of her eye and made her way over to where he sat on the cot.

"What are you doing here, Noin?"

She knelt beside him. "I wanted to see how you were doing. And to see if I could bunk with you. We're short on beds apparently."

"You should go. You'd be better off that way."

Biting back a sigh, she lifted his mask away. As much as she admired and respected and supported Treize's ideals and plans, she felt that he'd failed Zechs. He'd convinced her friend that the way for him to survive was to let no one close enough to her him, and once again, it looked like Treize's ideas about keeping distance from others were back in full force. Zechs was pushing her away again, probably in order to protect her. It wasn't going to work. She had managed to get past his walls once before, and she wasn't going to let him shut her out again. Distancing himself to protect her was very noble, but it would do neither of them good, and Noin wasn't completely sure it would work either.

"Zechs. What's wrong?"

He looked at his hands. "I'm a traitor. I've betrayed everything my family stood for. I can't even call myself a Peacecraft anymore. My hands are stained with blood for that. I don't even deserve to be alive."

"Do I deserve to live?"

That startled him into meeting her eyes. Noin moved so she was kneeling in front of him. Taking his hands in her own, she gently pressed a kiss to the palm of each.

"These hands are the same as mine. My parents believed the same things yours did. I have betrayed their ideals just as much. I too have killed."

"But it's different for you." It burst from his lips. "You don't--"

"How is it different?"

"You only kill when you have to. When you're ordered to. I planned this. I knew what I was getting into. I knew I would have to kill, and I went through with it anyway."

"I knew what I was getting into when I joined OZ, Zechs. I knew I would have to kill. I joined anyway. Did you enjoy it? Did you desire to kill them? Was it easy to do? Would you have done it if you didn't have to?"

"No," the answer came slowly. "I didn't want to kill anyone. And I don't enjoy it. It makes me feel…dirty, unclean. But I have to, if I don't--"

"I know. Neither of us have any sort of future if things don't change. We'd live our lives in fear that someone had discovered the past. And it's not just the two of us, we're protecting by doing this. Relena is safe for now, but how much longer? How long until someone somehow discovers who she really is?" Her hands came up to cup his face. "You're human, Zechs. You're not blameless, but then no one is. You have regrets. But we're alive in part because of the decisions you made. Your father might be disappointed in some of the choices you've made, but I think he would rather you be alive than dead because of his ideals."

Zechs met her eyes, searching for something. She wasn't sure what he was looking for, but his arms went around her shoulders, pulling her against his chest.

"Ti amo, il mio cuore." The whisper of her native Italian caught her by surprise. "Lei me dà spera."

His arms tightened and then let go, pulling away as if in pain. Noin frowned. "Your injuries? When was the last time you took a pain killer?"

"Just before Otto took Tallgeese."

Noin sighed, rising to her feet. "You're overdue for another dose then. I don't understand you sometimes, Zechs. You have a brilliant strategic mind and yet can never remember to take care of yourself when it matters. Where have you put the pills the doctor gave you?"

"They should be underneath the maps for the harbor, I think," he sounded almost amused. "You do realize that there's a reason your students refer to you as 'Mother'."

She glared at him. "Would you like a time out?"

Retrieving the orange bottle, she shook out two pills. Thankfully, Zechs had been given a suite with amenities due to his rank, so a glass of water wasn't hard to come by. She handed the pills to Zechs and held out the glass of water.

"You are going to take those, and then you are going to sleep. The doctor said you needed plenty of rest for a speedy recovery."

"I still have things to do."

Exasperated, Noin found herself glaring at him, hands on her hips. "That is why you have subordinates. The paperwork is being taken care. Treize has yet to assign you a new mission, so there are no battle plans to work on. So what pray tell is more important than taking care of yourself?"

He actually laughed. "I would say getting you into bed with me, but I'm afraid you'd just hurt me."

Later, curled up in the shared bed, she lay awake, listening to Zechs breath. They had survived so far with hearts and minds mostly intact, but the battles were far from over. He had let the past go today enough to laugh and tease her, if only for a little while and only to ease her fear and worry for him, but it could and mostly would come back to haunt him. There was still so much more to come. She had stayed by his side this far, but there were no guarantees. Next week she could be reassigned or injured. She could even be killed. This was a war. That wasn't what she feared. Noin feared loosing Zechs to his demons more than anything else. As long as she was with him, she did not fear him weathering that storm.

The arm around her waist tightened, and she sighed. She could not predict the future any more than Zechs could change the past. All she could do was provide what support she could in future and enjoy the brief respite she had for now.


Italian Translation: I love you, my heart. You give me hope.